Warning-there is selfharm, blood and possibly death, please do not read if you are sensitive to selfharm please seek help, everyone deserves to be happy and feel safe
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{Sonic}

" Sonic, why are you late home, again " stated my angry brother Shadow

" I was talking to Knuckles, and lost track of time" I smiled ' I was actually getting beat up by Knuckles ' I thought to myself

" you should pay more attention " Shadow scolded me, he sighed, grabbed a plate of food and passed it to me

" thanks, I'll see you tomorrow " I waved with a smile on my face, he rolled his eyes and walked out the door

As soon as the door closed and Shadow was out of sight I emptied my plate into the trash and went to my room and locked the door

" another day, more pain " I mumbled to myself as I pulled out a book from under my bed and opened a page and wrote

Entry 1957

I don't know why I do it, I just feel so useless and alone.

I had another run in with my 'friends', I try to avoid them as best I can but it's always the same, they corner me and punch me until I can't breathe.

I asked Shadow if he was busy on Saturday, my birthday but like always he forgets and is most likely busy. yeah I know he is stressed, it's why I don't call him out or pile all my problems on him, this is why it's happening and because he just doesn't care.

It's been like this since our parents died, He was 14, I was 11. Ironic isn't it I'm always the one to put others first, yet I know no one cares whether or not I'm in pain.

I try to tell him, but he doesn't listen. I don't know how many times I've tried to tell him, but all he dose is yell at me and gets angry with me, so I gave up.

I don't blame my brother for this, but I just wish he would open his eyes and see that I'm suffering. I wish for death, but I don't want to die, there's a constant battle in my head whether to scream to the whole world that I'm in pain or just stay quiet and fade from existence

~Sonic

I left the book open on the bed and went to my bathroom that is connected to my room, I left the door open. I grabbed out my blade from the bathroom draws and unwrapped the bandages on my arms

My brother doesn't see them because I'm always wearing a jacket of hoodie

I pressed my blade to the skin of my wrist and sliced, a small stream of blood drizzled on my clothes, I did it again and again and again until my wrist was numb. I repeated on my other arm and both my thighs

I started to breathe heavily, and felt dizzy. I started coughing up blood, I soon collapsed and blacked out.

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{Shadow}

" where is that darn hedgehog " I grumbled to my self as I sat in the kitchen waiting

I soon heard a click and the sound of the front door opening, my brother soon entered the kitchen

" Sonic, why are you late home, again " I asked angrily

" I was talking to Knuckles, and lost track of time" he replied with a smile

" you should pay more attention " I scolded him, i sighed, grabbed a plate of food and passed it to my younger brother

" thanks, I'll see you tomorrow " he smiles and waves at me as i roll my eyes, I make my way to the door

I exited the house and down the path to G.U.N, I kept thinking on why Sonic is always like this and late home, yeah I love him to death, but it can be to much sometimes. I sigh to to myself

I soon approach G.U.N headquarters, and I saw my only friend and her boyfriend.

" Hey, Hun " she said slowly, the echidna just stared at me as if he had seen a ghost

" Rouge, Echidna " I replied

" Knuckles and I were just talking about our relationship, turns out we're braking up because he needs to confess something " Rouge seethed, glaring at Knuckles who had his head in the other direction

" well this better be important because I am not the kind of person to " I was cut off by Rouge with a glare that I would never question

" me... and uhh umm... " stammered Knuckles

" spit it out already " I growled

" none of Sonic's friends are his friends, I only found out today " whispered Rouge

I was confused, until I realised and looked at the echidna with a glare that I wish would burn him in front of me then and there

" how long " I growled at Knuckles as he looked down ashamed

" since he was 11 " he replied, both me and Rouge looked at him wide eyes, I wanted to rip him to shreds

" I thought he would of told you " he stated quitely

" he doesn't tell me anything " I replied coldly, I stood there about to punch him, but something seemed off

I looked around but nothing was there, it soon turned to a sinking feeling, I got out my phone and called my brother, he didn't answer, I called again still no answer, I tried one more time just like the first two. Rouge saw my expression.

" Shadow is everything ok " she asked

" he isn't answering, but it's ringing " I stated, starting to panic, I put my phone away and ran as fast as I could to my house that I shared with my brother

As soon as I saw the front door I unlocked it, and started calling my brothers name, no answer. Soon Rouge ran in.

I ran to sonic's room and tried opening the door but it was locked, I started knocking which soon turned into braking down the door. Only to find the room empty, I walked in and smelt blood

Rouge must've noticed because she walked towards the bathroom, while I walked to the bed and found a book. Before I could see what was written on it I heard a gasp from the bathroom

" SHADOW " Rouge yelled

I ran to Rouge, only to stop as soon as I saw her kneeling beside my brother, he was unconscious, covered in blood and breathing heavily

I kneeled down towards my brother to check for a pulse, luckily there was one but it was weak, to weak for comfort

" Rouge call an ambulance, NOW! " I yelled in a panic, she did as she was told

About 10 minutes later paramedics were carrying my brother into the back of the ambulance, G.U.N agents turned up, along with the commander

" Agent Shadow, Agent Rouge, what happened here " Commander Towers asked

" sorry to interrupt but are one of you coming or not " asked a female fox with pink fur and brown eyes in a paramedics uniform

" I'm coming and sir I don't have time for this " I said to him as I walk to the back of the ambulance

When I climbed in the female also climbed in and shut the door, I looked at my brother and my heart broke at the sight of his condition, three paramedics surrounded him making sure he was breathing and his heart didn't stop, the sirens were blaring it was the only thing I could hear

Half an hour later he was being taken into emergency and I was excorted to the waiting room, I waited about 3 hours until a nurse came up to me

" are you here for Sonic the hedgehog " she asked, I nodded in response

" please follow me " I did as I was told, soon we entered a room, I don't know the number, but my brother was still unconscious, he was connected to a heart monitor and life support

" the doctor will be here soon " the nurse said, but I was only focused on my little brother

I heard the door closes, I sat down on the chair next to the bed, there was bandages on both of his wrists, I felt tears flow down my cheeks but I ignored their existence

Soon enough the door opened and closed

" sorry to intrude, but I need to check his condition " the doctor said, I nodded

I've sat here for hours, I ended up falling asleep on the chair, a nurse woke me up and gave me a tray of food

" your shadow right? " she asked

" yes, why do you ask " I questioned

" well when ever you in the hospital after one of your missions, your brother Sonic is always by your side, we had plenty of conversations, he always spoke of you with respect, but for some reason he never told you he was there the whole time " I heard her say, I blinked and my gut twisted

" oh " is all I said

Soon she left and Rouge came in with a book in her hands

" how is he " I heard her ask

" the doctor said he might not wake up, he lost a lot of blood and apparently he hasn't been eating enough " I said as I looked at Sonic

" oh, I found this, I read a few pages and I think you should read this, it's the book that was on his bed, I have to go to G.U.N H.Q " she said as she handed me the book and she left

I opened the first page and started to read

Entry 1

It's been a few days since my parents died in the accident, my brother Shadow is shutting everyone including me out, we were sent to an orphanage, we share a room, but I don't know what to do

I silently cry myself to sleep every night, Shadow hasn't noticed and I don't blame we're both hurting

The adults that work here are mean to me, I tried to tell Shadow but he just pushed me into the wall, they only care about everyone else but me

~Sonic

Once I finished reading that page it hurt, he was hurt then, and I only made it worse for him, I skipped a few pages and read the page

Entry 246

It's been about two years since my parents died, Shadow got a job at a place called G.U.N, he's stressed a lot, he was given a house for us to live in, I purposely annoy him to relieve his stress

My birthday was a week ago, but he forgot again, he didn't remember last year ether, he promised he'd take me to the show, but he didn't have time for it

I told him last year that he forgot, but there's no point this year he'd only forget again

I still haven't told him that I'm being bullied at school, by the kids that I called friends, I've also been eating less, I just feel so useless

~Sonic

This shattered my heart, this whole time he was caring about me and I didn't even notice that he was hurting, I didn't even remember his birthday once in the last 4 years, I continued reading

Entry 1098

I'm now 14 years old and my older brother is 17, he still works for GUN, about a month ago he got out of hospital

When ever he's in the hospital I'm always there he doesn't notice I'm lying when I I got here a few hours ago

I've haven't been eating enough and I started cutting a few days ago, I don't do it for attention like most other people do, I do it because I want to be numb to the pain, I hide my emotions behind a fake smile

The people who were once my friends are always cornering me and hitting me to the point I'm coughing up blood, at lunch they steal my food or trip me and laugh

It hurts and I don't want to feel pain anymore, I feel like I'm nothing, useless, I don't even fight back anymore

I don't even run, it just makes me remember what my life used to be like when Shadow actually cared about me and when our parents where still alive and when I still had friends

Now all is left is a shell of my former self, I'm broken, I'm empty and I have no hope

~Sonic

I had tears in my eyes, I had only made this wears by ignoring him and believing he was only doing those things to annoy me, I never even considered any of that

I read the last entry that he had written before he was in the hospital and it only made me feel even more guilty

I look at him, only to see him looking at me, he had tears in his eyes

" Sonic I'm so so sorry, I should of seen that you were hurting " I said as tears slid down both our cheeks

" I-i " I hug him and stroked his quills as he sobbed into my chest fur

" I'm sorry " I whispered into his ear, I pulled him onto my lap and continued to pet him

The doctor soon came in along with a nurse and changed his bandages and brought him some food, he ate it, I had to feed it to him if he refused

I never left his side while he was in the hospital or when he was taken home, until he was better, I love my brother more than anything and this time I want to do this right

Thank You For Reading

I know this is sad and happy at the same time, while I was writing this I cried

Dream7896