I remember that day, like the back of my hand. I couldn't ever forget it, it had taken everything from me.

I could already feel the wind hit my face like thousands of glass shards. I felt the blinding effect that the snow storm had created. I could vividly remember my heart beating in sync with the howling wind outside. I could feel my temperature rising, just thinking about going outside. I had to, at least if I wanted to see my love. As I stepped out in the howling wind and blinding snow, I could hear a tree close to me crack. I could feel my heart stopping, my temperature dropping colder than the snow itself. It was the last moment I ever had before all was black. Void of feeling, but... I wasn't dead. The tree hadn't killed me.

It had merely taken away my sight.

After that, my love broke off, never to be heard from again. I could feel my heart break, never to be mended again. My family became distant, walking on glass when they saw me. They though it was such a stupid way to loose my sight.

That night, it was the last night I felt alive, the last time my heart was beating, and the last time I saw the world, before I had to feel it.

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Blackness was sometimes comforting, but at other times it was a living hell. I had to sit there and wallow in my pain of not being able to see, I wanted so badly just to see my own face again in a mirror, but that dream was so far away. The doctor had said I could get a surgery that somewhat fixed my sight, but I would have to get it done every year and it wouldn't completely fix my vision. Plus it was over my budget, and I didn't have the time or money to do it. So I was stuck in a world of darkness. Sometimes I would see my face or my lovers face, but suddenly I would wake up, and realize it was all just a dream.

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You know, It was hard. Getting used to being blind. No one understands how important something is until they loose it. I had lost everything, my family, my love, and my sight. It was human nature to enjoy things, but it was also human nature to not think about what they have. Have you ever took the time to sit down and think of what matters in life? Certain people do, but others don't maybe because they forget but some others just don't care. I was one who knew what I had, but I didn't appreciate it till I lost my sight, and it was because of nature itself. No one could stop nature, no one could stop what happened to me. Everyone thought that I could change how the past happened, but they didn't understand what I had to go through. Everyday I curse that tree for taking what was mine, for taking everything from me.

The wind rushing through my ears, it was blowing my hair to the side and going down my shirt, making me shiver slightly. I could feel the dew on the green grass that I can no longer see physically, but I can mentally. People say that those who are blind can't see colors, but we can. Whether we be born without sight or with it and loose it, we can see colors in our own way. I now connect them with emotions. I can feel emotions coming off of people, another skill I had to acquire. When I could see, you see emotions on people faces or connect it to the body's reactions, but now I have to use my other senses to create a way to know what people are feeling without my eyes.

One connection I made was anger, I feel anger through the body shaking slightly when angered. When happy the air becomes light. When sad the body slows down and doesn't do ordinary things, therefore I know when my friends are sad, but those who are not my friends I have to use a little bit extra effort. If I shake their hand you feel a pulse, so if the pulse is slower, their sad, if faster their happy or excited. For excitement the body can't stand still. A lot of people move constantly when their excited. All the emotions had different reactions, and honestly I don't recognize all of them.

After all, that's why my love left me, they thought I was suddenly incapable of love and emotions. They just didn't want to come to the realization that I now had a flaw, they wanted me to be perfect, and that's what I learned about love. If they want you to be perfect, to be the best at all times, they want you to change, that's not love, it won't ever be love, so don't just waste your life on them. Live the life you want to live, and live in the edge, don't trust someone until they show they would give their lives for yours.

Everyday I ask... Why did everything have to go downhill so fast? Why did my life change in a matter of seconds? Why was I still alive? Why did it matter anymore?

In my world, the only safety is darkness. The kind that swallows you whole, keeping you in its depths until it decides it wants you to leave. But sometimes, it decides to hurt you, take those you love. It takes everything from you until there is nothing left to take.

You want to know the last thing I ever saw? It was red. My blood spilling out into the white snow. The pure ness being saturated with hate, love, anger, passion, happiness, and kindness right in front of my eyes, and the pure wasn't so pure anymore. My blood was filled with everything I had pent up inside. It reminded me that life isn't as beautiful as we thought, there is always something going wrong.

Crimson... what feeling comes to you when I say that word? Crimson can mean almost all emotions, but that day everything poured out of me, I was lucky it had taken just my sight. The doctor said I shouldn't have my legs I shouldn't even have my life. I should've been dead.

I wish I was dead.

~KennyandEmo~