Introduction: Set in Scorpius Malfoy's sixth year in the heat of summer when his relationship with Albus seems to be falling apart. Here he touches on his thoughts about his mother death in the summer of 2019

*note: this is in another one of those alternate realities the boys create, so these are more my interpretations of the characters. All credits go to JK Rowling for her creation of this world etc

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  Scorpius sat, hunched, his green tie hanging loose around his neck and his head resting tilted sideways on his hand. It was a hot day- far too hot to be out in sun for long, and as it was Saturday afternoon, lessons were finished for today so Scorpius had managed to escape from the crowds and soon found himself here, in a clearing surrounded by a forest of tall, looming trees, perched on an old log spotted with fungi and lichen.

He liked the smell of the woods on a sunny day. He found if you closed your eyes and concentrated, you could smell everything; the dampness of the bark intertwined with a crisp, woody scent, the cold earthy smell of the mud, and even the fresh slightly lemoniness of the leaves that to him was the smell sunlight.

Only, now he struggled to make out any of that. Perhaps it was to do with the thick red slab of meat he held with forefinger and thumb in his right hand, perhaps it wasn't. He sniffed, running a sleeve across his nose and looked up, a small smile creeping onto his face. He watched her curiously as she bowed her head, snuffling along the ground, brushing the dead leaves aside with a gentle swipe of her beaked nose as she stepped forward tentatively.  She swayed her head a little, not looking up to meet his eyes, before he gave in and tossed the meat to her. She sprung back and caught it with ease, wolfing it down. Now upright, she pranced aside as if to ask for more, her ghostly white eyes gleaming in the greenish light.

"I don't have any more," he told her as a few others entered the clearing. She flapped her black wings and snorted, dragging a hoof along the ground in defiance. He shook his head, grinning. They weren't exactly pretty, anyone could see that, but he had a soft spot for them. They made him smile when things were getting shit.

He'd discovered the herd here in his third year, when he was...struggling. He'd sort of already knew Hogwarts had a herd, but he'd never bothered before because there was no point if he couldn't see them. Besides, Scorpius Malfoy wasn't meant to like Care of Magical Creatures. He was meant to like DADA, potions, quidditch, girls, sex, firewhisky and everything else on the conformity list for Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Sure, he did, but they weren't all there was to the world.

He used to wonder down here after it happened to get some space. Maybe he was trying to find them, maybe he wasn't; it was never clear. He just wanted to get away for a bit.

People could be so fucking loud sometimes, especially when you don't want them to. It had felt like he hated everyone back then, that they didn't understand, and they were too bloody oblivious to the fact that asking him 'Scorpius, how are you feeling?' Or 'I know it's hard, but you'll get through it' was the worst thing they could do; he hated it. For starters, no, they didn't know. They couldn't possibly know, and if they did? Well, maybe they would have left him alone.

She shouldn't have left then, not then, not there and not like that. It wasn't right, and it wasn't her time to go. He had been so angry in the days that followed he could barely look his father in the eyes because it made him furious. How could she leave like that without any real goodbyes? He supposed no goodbye could have been real enough for the reality he had to face, but back then it felt like she didn't even try, and he hated her for it. He couldn't possibly see how things would work without his mother, he couldn't imagine how it could get better.

Things had got better though, and Albus helped. Maybe he was a bit self centred then, but even now there were still times when it got to him.

Al, Albus, Potter, Potty, best mate, and the boy who wouldn't talk to him. Whenever Scorpius went near Albus wasn't exactly discreet about it. He would turn away and would make little effort to talk or even laugh sometimes. It all felt wrong to Scorpius; the one person he really cared about liking him, needed to like him, didn't. That fact seemed to be eating away at him for a very long time.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Scorpius looked up and blinked, his gaze coming back to focus as he realized he must have been entangled in the mess of his thoughts for some time. His steel grey eyes woke slowly from their trance, and noticed the Thestrals happily about there business, as if he was no longer there. He felt a tug, and looked sideways under his arm and to his surprise, a foal stood tugging at the ends of his shirt with his beak shaped nose. He could feel the warm air escaping from his little nostrils with each puff as he pulled his shirt further. Scorpius lifted his arm, and the little thing bounced back in fright, shaking his head with a sneeze before trotting off elsewhere.

"Who- oh, Malfoy!" Murmured a voice from behind him, full of surprise. Scorpius turned to the sound of a familiar voice, squinting in the sunlight.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Rose Granger-Weasley from where she stood, a hand on her waist, her red hair blazing in the sunlight.

"I, it's too hot in the sun, you know, wanted to get some shade," he answered from where he sat, a hand over his eyes to prevent being blinded by a shaft of light that came in behind her.

"What, so you came all the way out here to get some shade?" She scoffed with disbelief.

"Something like that."

She frowned slightly at his somewhat unusual behaviour, peering closer at him with a long pause. "Are you feeling okay?" She asked with a hint of disbelief.

He paused for a moment, with a swallow before returning with a usual defensive remark, an eyebrow raised and a smirk creeping onto his lips. "Rose Granger-Weasley is asking if I am okay?"

"Oh...yeah, right," she answered awkwardly, correcting herself as her gaze fell upon the floor. She flashed a sarcastic smile and her green eyes darted about the clearing and back to him. "I thought you were meant to be social, Malfoy." She pushed a laugh. "You usually have crowds of disciples following you."

"You usually have your head in a book."

"I happen to be searching for some knotgrass for Nevi-" she stopped herself, "Professor Longbottom."

"I don't believe that." He chuckled. "You don't even take Herbology anymore, Weasley." He answered with a smirk, flicking a piece of bark with his foot.

"Granger-Weasley. And Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be nice Malfoy. You know, doing a favour? It's something you wouldn't know about." She answered angrily, stepping forward and pushing her book into his chest, causing him to loose his balance and fall onto the soft leafy ground behind him.

"Hey!" He called, scratching his hair and standing slowly, brushing the dirt off his legs. When he turned back to Rose she was staring out into the clearing with a confused frown. Just as she turned, opening her mouth to speak, Scorpius stepped forward and the two collided with an awkward thud. Rose bounced back, but tripped on a small stump and fell into Scorpius sideways, all in one split of a second. He caught her, and stood there for a moment. "Whoah!" He mumbled, his face tangled in her hair. "What just...?"

"Malfoy!" She hissed. "I don't know just put me down."

Scorpius stood and pushed her up, his silver blonde hair a mess. He was in the right mind to 'put her down' or rather, drop her, but he wasn't sure if a book-shaped bruise would be such a good look today. He look up at Rose who was flattening her hair and robes, and Scorpius noted she was blushing a bright pink.

"I heard something, but I couldn't see...?" She said, trying to act as if the recent events had not occurred at all. That made Scorpius smile.

"Oh yeah, you have to be unique to see. Special." He said with a shrug as he looked out at the herd who had stepped back from the commotion, watching the two humans warily. He bit his lip, remembering his thoughts from earlier.

"Thestrals...Your mother..." She murmured, frowning.

"Yeah." He answered, swallowing his smile quicker than it came, looking out at the creatures, his eyes heavy and full of sorrow.

"I'm so sorry, Scorpius." She said in a whisper, extending her arm and placing a hand softly on his shoulder. Scorpius did not turn to look at her, he simply gazed out into the clearing, his jaw locked tight. He did nothing for what felt an age.

He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but he bit them back, unblinking. His words seemed to get caught in his throat, and when they finally surfaced, they were slow, small and weak.

"I really, really miss her."