The bruises and cuts are visible this time.   She gently touches the darkening ugly green and the angered red spots on her tan skin to confirm their presence deep in her spirit.   As the nerve ends send out signals to her brain, her eyes water as they receive the messages of pain.

"When will this stop?"   She asks herself this question, for which the response is always the deathly sound of silence.   Thoughts of all kinds reverberate in her intellect enclosed within her grey matter; while many feelings run wild within her emotional compass.   She knows the time has come to make some major decisions but she still finds herself struggling without a purpose and a goal.

The questions don't stop from making their mark and creating havoc for her senses.   They clamour around in protest, carrying their banners that list their demands and await the needed answers that may lie in her depths.   The picket signs depict the following:

"What are you going to do?"

"Enough is Enough!   When are you going to realize?"

"You are strong.   How do you not know this?"

"Leave Him."

"He is hurting you."

"How much are you willing to lose of yourself?"

But she is just so tired and broken.   And she loves him.   He can be funny, sweet and caring.   She reminisces about those days of summer - when the sun was always bright; the birds were chirping beautiful melodies and the gentle movement of the breeze was felt.

On such lovely days, he would tip her chin so that he could gaze deeply in her eyes sitting on the grass.   While they took in the sights and sounds of nature together, he would brush her long bangs away from her eyes so that the errant hairs would not bother her anymore.   As the light air rustled the green leaves on the trees, he would caress her arms to keep her warm, as if she was the most delicate thing that he had possessed in his china shop of finery.

And that is the problem, she never discerned how or when she became a possession, rather than his companion or even his friend?   The transition must have been subtle because she sure missed its manifestation.   Maybe it was 3 years ago or was it 2?

Isha shook her head to bring her mind into focus.   She has a job to do and that entailed convincing her notions that her Manav, the love of her life for the past 6 years was - no, is a good man.   He is going through a tough time right now because of the stresses at work, his parents making demands for a grandchild and her inability to understand or support him.

That is what he tells her every time the 'incident' occurs and he apologizes profusely.   Manav also makes it up to her with flowers, dinners out and nice outfits.   Isha holds on to her diamond butterfly pendant, that he had given her last time after the 'incident' as she promised him that she would never remove it.

Her emotions scream to her thoughts, making her point, "See, he does love me!   He cares.   I am just too stupid, naive and inconsiderate.   I need to do more in this relationship so he can feel secure."

Her contemplations scoff back at Isha and reply with sarcasm, "Sure, we all see how much he adores you from the cut lip that he has given you.   Also, let's not forget the finger marks that are imprinted on the tops of your arms.   Plus, the kicks to your thighs and lower back.   This is the perfect manner in which a spouse should express their love!"

Isha squints her eyes in defiance and ire as she raises her chin and yells, "All of you, shut up!   You don't understand anything."

Her inner voice decides to take the reins firmly in its hands, to control the situation between this human's heart and head.   It softly speaks but with determination because it needs to be heard, "Isha, what about the pledge he makes to you that he will never repeat it again?   And I believe, last night is all the proof you require to see that this won't stop.   He won't change.   It does not matter what you do.   You have to make a decision!"

All the colour drains out of Isha's face and her eyes stare back at the reflection that once used to be filled with joy, dreams and hope.   Her orbs tried their very best to find even a slight glimmer of that person, but they sadly fail in their task.   Finding that her emotions and thoughts were ganging up on her in support of the beseeching done by her conscience, she decides to ignore the noises within and turns on the stereo up loud.

Isha's ego, fear and anger still dominate within her and with the music blasting, she recalls Manav's words from the night before.   Lately, the kids at school have been demanding of her time since the Scholastic Aptitude Tests (SATs) are coming up for many of them.   Being the high school Algebra teacher that handles three classes of students along with the SAT preparatory classes and other extracurricular activities for the school, things had been very hectic yesterday.

She had come home after Manav and seeing his displeasure written plainly on his face, Isha knew that she was in trouble.   She tried her best to request some time to prepare his favourite meal but her husband was not in the mood to listen.   Manav's remarks are still hurtful today as Isha conjures them up from thin air:

"Where have you been, you slut?"

"I have been waiting 30 minutes, you whore.   Who is he?"

"Why did I marry someone so ugly?   You are good for nothing, you hear me?"

"You are useless, disgusting and stupid."

*SLAP*

Isha refuses to recollect the 'incident' and instead remembers how Manav had lovingly fed her fried vegetable rice and lemon chicken from her favourite Chinese restaurant - after.

The thought of food causes her to be nauseous and she runs to the bathroom.   Isha makes it in time to upchuck the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.   She gags a few more times, before she gets up to rinse her mouth.   While brushing her teeth, she wonders why she is having these symptoms.   Then she stops abruptly and runs to her bedroom.

She quickly glances at her calendar on her phone and her eyes widen in horror.   She has missed her period for the past two months!   How could she forget?   Her internal assessments mockingly laugh back at her but she ignores them.   Finally, Isha prepares a resolution and knows that it is the right thing for her, Manav and her marriage - she needs to get a pregnancy test pronto!

******************

Her joy knows no bounds as the third stick depicts the '+' sign in pink.   She rubs her belly in wonder and is exhilarated to share her news with Manav, who on a Saturday is visiting his parents and cousins who have arrived from Toronto for the upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations.

Her sentiments within her emotional compass return and support her in their feelings of affection, excitement and gratefulness.   They are in awe of this miracle and want Isha to be happy and healthy.   On the other hand, Isha's judgement present in her grey matter is absolutely petrified and in shock.   It is not sure what to do and how to make her understand that this could be detrimental to her well-being.   Her head-space is in an utter panic, while her bosom plays romantic music on its guitar.

A smile appears on Isha's face as she decides to make Manav's favourite meal for dinner and she turns on the stereo system again to tune it to her favourite Pop station.   As she gets busy with cutting vegetables and marinating the meat in a Tandoori sauce with all the spices, she feels the ache in her lower back and realizes it is from the swift kicks that she had received yesterday.

She tries to keep control on her emotions and remain in her glow but some hidden strength within her breaks free and shouts, "Think carefully, Isha!   When Manav hits you next time, he is going to hurt the baby too.   Is that what you want?   This is not about you anymore, this is about the life inside of you that you prayed for!   What are you going to do?"

The knife slits her finger and she hisses due to the sting.   She stands at the kitchen sink and turns on the cold water faucet.   As Isha puts her injured finger under the stream of water, the radio DJ announces, "For all you Demi Lovato fans, this is a request from Anna to her friend Beth.   Beth, if you are listening, Anna wants you to know that stay strong and believe in yourself!   You can do it!   And here is the song 'Skyscraper' to give you that added courage."

https://youtu.be/r_8ydghbGSg

The powerful ballad starts and Isha's ears perk up when they hear the following lyrics:

Only silence as its ending

Like we never had a chance

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have

You can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper

As the smoke clears

I awaken and untangle you from me

Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed?

The water keeps running over her hand as Isha remains in her trance.   She notices that her finger feels better but her insides have shrivelled up.   She numbly moves to the cupboard that holds the first aid kit and bandages her finger with the band-aid that has small hearts in rows.

The food preparations are long forgotten and Isha takes a seat on the couch.   She puts her head in her hands as the deep sobs overwhelm her and her agony expresses itself fully while suffocating her breath.   She curls up in a ball on the couch and continues her crying.   After a period of time, her arms reach to her knees to clasp them closer to her chest, that is when she registers something important.

The dawning awareness makes Isha sit up in alarm.   This time she hears what feels like the deep recesses of her soul itself speaking to her, "You are strong just like the skyscraper that survives alone in the midst of an apocalypse.   If nothing else, think what your name means.   In Hindi, it means, 'The Goddess Who Protects'.   You have your goal and mission.   You have to protect yourself and your little one with all your might and smarts!   Leave.   Him.   NOW!"

The next thing Isha finds herself doing is packing her clothes, toiletries, jewelry, money and important papers.   She has added vigour in her steps and her spine is ramrod straight.   She doesn't feel weak or muddled.   She is surprised but she feels free, like the chains and shackles that have caged her interior deity have been slashed and severed.   Her trapped and true form is now in full force and there is no stopping her!

Her final act includes the removal of her silver chain and diamond butterfly pendant that she leaves on the dinner table with an attached note that reads, "Manav, I am leaving you.   You cannot control the unleashed Goddess that is Isha, anymore.   Especially, since you are a mere human as your name in Hindi suggests.   By the way, you are going to be a father but I will not allow even your shadow to fall on my baby.   You will be hearing from my lawyers."

She departs from that life with her head, heart and life forces intact.