Milo's Big Heart
Arohi sat on the edge of their large king size bed clutching a pewter picture frame to her chest with both of her hands. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She moved the frame away from her person and gazed down at it again. She traced the image with her index finger and a sad smile appeared on the tear stricken face.
Arjun leaned casually on the open door of their bedroom and looked on worriedly at Arohi in contemplation. It had been a week since they received the prognosis and the time had come to make a decision. Arjun knew that this was going to be extremely difficult but he had faith that his beloved would do what was best for their precious family member.
He made his way noiselessly over the cherry wood floor and took a seat beside Arohi. The grief stricken woman with her dark espresso eyes fringed with long wet lashes, a red runny cute button nose and usually dimpled cheeks now with trails of tears, glanced sideways to check why the bed had shifted under her weight. Recognizing her companion, a sob escaped from Arohi's plump wobbly lips and she leaned her head and body onto Arjun's shoulder and side respectively.
Arjun encompassed Arohi warmly using one arm and held her close to his chest. He forwarded a tissue box towards Arohi with his free hand but she denied its utility. She had a preferred tendency of using Arjun's donned clothing to smear her tears and nasal fluids and today's target included Arjun's navy blue fleece pullover hoodie. Arjun was used to Arohi's immature actions and loved her because of her innocence.
After some time comforting and soothing Arohi's woes, Arjun moved his body away from her shaking frame and raised her chin causing Arohi to meet Arjun's light hazel depths. Softly, he said, "You haven't had anything to eat since dinner last night. It is lunch time now. Come on, get up and go wash your face." Arohi lowered her gaze and refused to budge.
Arjun tenderly freed himself from his attachment and moved to the bedside table to retrieve a bottle of water. He sat back down beside Arohi and forwarded the item towards her. She placed the picture frame on the bed while still looking at it and then turned towards the offering. This time she gratefully accepted it and took a few sips to replenish her diminishing liquid levels. She closed the water bottle and replied in low voice, "I am not hungry, Arjun. But I will go and get ready so we can leave."
The dejected response caused Arjun to agonize further but he remained calm and expressionless. He made Arohi face him as he cupped her face with both of his hands and then relayed gravely, "Okay honey. While you get ready, I will have lunch prepared and then we will head out. You are sure you want to do this?"
Arohi's nod was barely visible as she met Arjun's stare but he felt the movement and could sense her resolve. For now, he was going to let her be with her thoughts and would broach the subject before they left after some lunch. He adoringly kissed her forehead and released her. At the bedroom entrance, he turned around to see if Arohi had made any progress. However, Arohi was still in the same place where he had left her looking at the pewter picture frame on the bed. Shaking his head and with anxiety gripping his heart and mind, he went to get started on lunch.
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Lunch had been a taciturn event but Arjun was glad to see that Arohi had eaten her favourite omelet without protest. The dishes were now done and they were having their coffee in the living room. Arjun knew it was time to address the elephant in the room but apprehension made him hesitate.
Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself and spoke, "Sweetheart, I know you love Milo but Milo is suffering and he has been deteriorating in front of our eyes for the past three months. He has been a trooper and weathered through his limb sparing surgery and chemotherapy. He even surprised the vets by surviving over a year after surgery. Milo has served your family well, especially you and Karan. He has been loyal and loving to you and will always remain an integral part of our lives. Nevertheless, it is time to stop his pain and let him go. You know that, right?"
Arohi stared in front of her taking in the pictures of Milo that lay on the fireplace mantle with her family at various events. A smile graced her lips as she appeared engulfed in her thoughts of yester years. Without looking at Arjun, Arohi replied, "Do you know how Milo came into our lives?"
Arjun had never had the pleasure of meeting Arohi's brother, Karan who was diagnosed with a severe form of cerebral palsy at the age of six and due to its complications had passed away when he was 21. Arohi was 28 at the time and was affected by the incident so much that she was a pediatrician now sub-specializing in neurology. Arjun had been introduced to Karan through images and videos. For a young man with a severe disability, Karan was inspirational and always remained smiling for his family. His seizure disorders along with respiratory difficulties had led to his shortened life expectancy.
Over the past three years of knowing Arohi and her family, Arjun had been regaled by the many adventures of Milo and Karan. He loved Milo and admired his capability to bring joy and love into the lives of so many even after Karan had passed away. Arjun never tired of hearing anything about Arohi's life or experiences as she had such a unique perspective on things.
Arjun did not answer but stayed quiet not wanting to hinder Arohi's train of thought. He reached over and took her hand that was lying on the sofa and squeezed it gently. She laced her fingers with his in response and started the saga with a small beam still present on her countenance, "Dad was all about innovative ways to improve Karan's quality of life and wanted his son to have fun too. He had heard about mobility assistance dogs from a colleague at work. He then conducted all this research about what they could do and how long it would take. Without informing mom or me about his decision, Dad even went ahead and met with a specialized dog trainer."
Arjun could feel the restlessness emitting from Arohi and was cognizant of her need to remain moving when she was emotionally wound or upset. He was not offended when Arohi lightly pried her fingers from his gentle hold and walked towards the mantle. She picked up a picture of a younger Milo and continued, "One day, we went to this large facility with a huge backyard and were introduced to a chocolate Labrador. This puppy had a rough coat of fur and a very gloomy face. For some strange reason, out of the litter of six, Karan made his connection with that little runt. I think it was Milo's eyes. They were the most soulful colour of grey and blue. It was like their hearts connected in minutes."
Arohi giggled as if she was present in her memories, "Even the trainer and dad tried to dissuade Karan from choosing that puppy but it made no difference to him. Karan could be stubborn and strong willed, you know? So everyone gave in and the puppy was enrolled to become a mobility assistance dog. It took close to two years because he was also trained to respond to Karan's seizures."
Arohi lovingly ran her fingers over Milo and Karan's picture where the former was sitting in attention beside the latter's wheelchair in the park on a sunny day. Arjun knew that Arohi was lost in her thoughts and was unaware of his presence. He wanted her to open up and share her treasured memories.
She had that faraway look as she spoke again, "Karan was always eager to know everything about Milo's personality and interest when he was training. His visits were limited because Milo could not be distracted too much and sometimes Karan had bad days. I remember the day when Milo had to start training with Karan. Even Milo's trainer Samuel, was surprised at how well they took to each other."
Arohi's tears were back, "When Milo came to live with our family; Karan's joy was boundless. They communicated so well with each other where no words were needed. To this day, I believe that Milo is the reason that Karan remained happy. It was beyond Milo saving Karan's life from peril but that he gave my brother the will to live and the hope of a good life as much as it was feasible."
Arohi turned to address a seated Arjun and encased her waist in her arms while bunching her loose white silk blouse, "Logically, I know what I need to do and what is right. However, losing Milo forever means that I lose the last link that I have with Karan. Milo has been my champion and support for the last five years. We even volunteer together at the Hospital for Sick Kids! I think a hidden part of me, is now going to grieve for Karan all over again. And Arjun it just hurts so much."
With that Arohi crumpled down to the floor and loudly bawled giving a voice to her pain. Arjun was up in a flash and gathered a broken Arohi in his strong arms. He tried to pacify her but Arohi was too far gone. Arjun was at a loss for words as he had not realized Arohi's deeply rooted anguish. Her family appeared so well adjusted and accepting of Karan's departure. "I guess you never know the truth until you become close to someone," Arjun thought.
He did the only thing that he thought would help. He affectionately grasped Arohi's upper arms and moved her from his body. He lowered his head to try to get Arohi to look at him but she didn't. So he said in loving voice, "Honey, please look at me."
Arohi refused his request and continued crying, so Arjun went on, "Okay, that's alright. Just think about this. You have me and your family to help you with everything that goes on in your life. Don't you think that Karan needs and would love Milo's company up in heaven? Milo has done his duty, sweetheart. Now Karan and Milo deserve to have some fun together. You are my brave girl, do this for them. You know that they will always live within us."
Once the words registered in Arohi's psyche, she looked up startled into Arjun's eyes. Understanding along with relief mirrored in her orbs as she quickly snatched her arms from Arjun's hands and threw them around his neck for a warm tight hug. As Arjun tried to balance himself against her weight and hold on to her for dear life, he sent a silent prayer of thanks knowing that a huge burden had been lifted off of them. Even with the grief still present, his anxiety and worry had now evaporated.
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As Arjun parked the car in the vet office's lot, he peered over at Arohi. She sat still with a few tears escaping as she tried to compose herself. Arjun walked over to the passenger side and opened the door; he sat on his haunches and took Arohi's cold hands in his, rubbing them to warm them up, "You ready, sweetheart?"
Arohi nodded wordlessly and clenched Arjun's hand leaving the car. They entered the vet's office and recognizing them the front desk receptionist nodded solemnly. Without saying a word, she led them to the area where Milo was resting. She closed the door giving them their much needed privacy.
Arohi approached her sleeping friend who looked weak and tired. She took a brush out of her bag and started untangling the soft fur in large strokes. She reminisced with Milo of happier times in his unconscious state believing that he knew she was around. Arjun stood nearby lovingly observing the pair's interaction.
Still looking at Milo, Arohi in a faint voice asked, "Arjun, do you want to say something to Milo?" Arjun cleared his choked throat and collected his thoughts to relay softly into Milo's ear, "Hey there pal! I want you to know that I will take good care of mommy for you. I am going to miss our walks and your company on the couch while I watched TV. Thanks for accepting me into your mommy's life. I have had a grand time with you but now I want you to rest. Bye my sweet Milo!"
Arjun's eyes filled with unshed tears as he turned his back to wipe the moisture. Arohi remained calm and tear free as she whispered to Milo, "Do you know why you were named Milo? Karan loved the movie "The Mask" with Jim Carrey. He knew he would have many daring escapades with you. While maintaining his well being, you fulfilled all of his wishes. Thank you Milo for being so wonderful to my family and especially Karan."
Arohi scratched fondly behind Milo's ear, the touch he loved most, and resumed her speech, "Milo, you are exceptional. You are a true angel who gave so many people hope and unconditional love. I am sorry for being selfish and prolonging your agony. Arjun explained to me how you will be with Karan. I know it will make you happy. You deserve that and to be free from these afflictions. Know that I love you and I always will. You are my champion! I am going to miss you so much. Say hi to Karan for me. I love you, my dear boy! Go in peace."
Milo passed away on June 9, 2017 surrounded by his mommy and daddy #2.
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Milo was in a place filled with billowy white smoke and winged beings playing the harp. A young man with recognizable coffee coloured eyes was at the entrance. He seemed familiar to Milo but the canine could not place him. The young man walked over, bent down and scratched Milo behind his ear affectionately. As Milo recalled that genial touch, he was confused. Karan understood his friend's dilemma and answered the mute query, "Milo, it's me Karan and look, I can walk! Let's go play fetch!" Milo did not need to be asked twice as he followed his daddy into the large park.
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