Growing up, I had a diehard best friend—we were inseparable to the point where we were pen pals but lived in the same town, had code names and secret languages, took every class together fifth-12th grade, visited each other all through college (1.5 hours away from each other), etc. Pretty sure our moms assumed we were lesbians until we started dating guys. They were right that we were obsessed with each other; girls are weird, but we did have some soulmate-level friendship going on.

Then after we graduated college, my friend was hit by a drunk driver and killed immediately. The details of it all were gruesome, as you can imagine, and the man who hit her was a very rich, politically connected man and largely let off the hook. Needless to say, I was heartbroken. For months after her death I had terrible dreams where either she or I was killed, often at the hands of the other. We never, ever fought in real life, but in my dreams we would have terrible fights where we would scream, become violent, and they would usually end with either me dying or her disappearing suddenly.

One night, about six months after her passing, I was home sleeping in my childhood bedroom and had one of those terrible dreams. She disappeared in my dream and I woke up with a start—to find her right. next. to. me. in my bed, about four inches from my face. Her eyes were dark and deep; they looked endless, and her mouth was opened wide in a screechy laughter that reverberated through my head, and her body was stretched out next to mine. I threw my covers off me and sat up, not bearing the thought of looking back over to my right where she was, but unwilling to run away and leave her.

Finally, after about 15 (maybe? hard to remember) minutes, I felt the presence leave and I laid back down, and remained awake for the remainder of the night.

I think she was mad that I was still living and she wasn't, or that we existed on different planes. On a positive note, ever since that night, I have only had really kind, silly dreams with her—consistent with our friendship.