Seventy-One: I Love You
The doorbell rang, and Anna put her book down, glancing at the clock. 8:45 PM. She'd been studying to take her teacher's certification exam for her home state. Two years was long enough to live in limbo. No movie offers were coming her way, not matter what Namjoon and Rebecca claimed. The movie industry usually tolerated all sorts of unsavory escapades, but for some reason, it had decided to punish Annelise Kane for ruining Norma King's life and career. She had to get on with her life and stop worrying her parents. She opened the door and gasped. She felt her breath constrict in her throat.
"Hello."
Her eyes blinked rapidly. She shook her head in confusion. "Wh-What are you doing here?"
"Aren't you going to invite me in?"
Her breath became audible. "I...I...No. I don't want to talk to you."
"We need to talk. Please." His voice broke on the last word.
She shook her head again. "No! You can't just come here like this and expect me to just...to just...no!" She made a move to close the door.
Seokjin couldn't hold back his tears. He dropped to his knees at the doorway. "Annie, I'm so sorry. I never should've left. Please. Just let me tell you why. Just give me ten minutes. Five minutes. I'm begging you please don't slam the door on me. Please let me talk to you." His cheeks were wet with tears. "I just can't...go on."
Anna stared down at him in shock. The last time she'd seen him had been in the hospital as he was recovering from his gunshot wound. The doctor said he'd be released the next day after almost two weeks in recovery. She'd been so happy, and they'd made plans that she would come pick him up and bring him to her apartment to continue his recovery.
The next day she showed up only to be told that he'd checked himself out. No one knew where he'd gone. He'd left no word or forwarding address. No one knew anything—not his agent, not his friends Jeon Jungkook or Cooper Carter. Not even his parents. He'd just disappeared.
"No," she repeated. "Two years, Seokjin. It's been two years and not a word from you. No call, no letter. Nothing. You went away without thinking about me and now you just want me to listen to your explanation. I can't. No." She pushed him back, and he tipped over onto the ground.
"Anna, wait!" He scrambled to his feet, but she took two steps out from her doorway and pushed him again. He stumbled back a step.
"No! Go away. I don't want to hear your stupid excuses! I warned you. I'm not your consolation prize. I'm not the one you come back to when you have no one and nothing else."
Thunder rumbled overhead, and the first few drops of rain began falling on them. Anna took no notice. She gave Seokjin another push, and he fell back onto the grass of her front yard.
"I know that. I'm not coming back because I have nothing else," he protested from the ground. The rain began to fall steadily, and he wiped the water from his face, not sure what part was rain and what part was tears. "I was always thinking about you. Always."
Anna shook her head. "Liar. If you'd given me any thought, you would've never left. You couldn't be my friend, could you? You couldn't just be selfless and be my friend."
He crawled forward and knelt at her feet. "I can be that now. I don't care if you hate me. I don't care if you tell me to fuck off. I will stay by your side. I will never leave you." He paused as a sob cut off his breath. "Please, Anna, please, just let me stay in your life. I had told you before that I would be content to exist at the edges of your life. I won't disturb you. I don't mind looking at you from a distance. I just can't live apart from you." He hung his head as the rain continued to fall. "Please. Just give me one more chance. Just one more chance."
She turned her face up, letting the light rain hit her face. How could he just show up like that at her front door after so long? How could he expect her to just welcome him back? How could he show up after so long and still make her heart beat faster? It wasn't fair. She shouldn't still love him so much.
He threw his arms around her knees. "Please forgive me, Annie. I don't care about anything else except you. I thought I was doing the right thing by disappearing from your life. I wanted to remove my toxic presence so that you'd have a chance at moving forward. The whole thing with Norma was horrible, and I didn't want you to have to go through all that. I thought it would stop if I went away. I thought people would stop their bullshit. I really did."
She wiped her face with both hands. "It didn't stop. Joon and Becca tried to keep things from me, but I knew. My parents knew. It broke their heart to read all those things about their daughter. It was worse because you didn't stick up for me. You didn't tell people the truth. You just left. You left me. It made all those rumors seem true."
He was crying uncontrollably now. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't know. I made it a point to never read anything related to the case. I convinced myself that it would blow over after a while. I'm sorry I left, but I'm back, and I won't leave again. I will stand by you through anything. I will never let you suffer again. I love you, Annie. I love you more than my life. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Jin," she finally said, her voice hoarse. "How do you know that things will be better?"
He inhaled raggedly and looked up, squinting his eyes in the rain. "I don't know. All I know is that I will do my best to make things better. You're the woman I love, and you're also my best friend, Annie. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to be worthy of your love. God knows I haven't been worthy so far. I want to change that. I want to make new memories to erase all the bad ones of the past. We deserve that chance, don't we?"
Anna began to sob out loud. She thought back to everything they'd gone through. Their childhood. High school. College. She could've stuck with teaching. She could've left with Taehyung. She could've married Namjoon. She could've done so many things differently. Her life would've been different. She wouldn't have felt so much pain.
Seokjin got to his feet and put his arms around her. She cried into his chest as he held her tightly. "I love you so much," he whispered. "I love you."
So many things could've been different. But she wouldn't have been happy without him. She had loved Seokjin for so long that she couldn't imagine her life without him. She didn't care about anything else now, not the humiliation nor the pain. She deserved to be happy with the man she loved.
"I love you, too," she said and pulled him down for a kiss.
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