Fourteen: Harboring Fantasies

A few days later, Anna was preparing a snack for herself after work. "Hey, Jin," she called from the kitchen. "Can you open this jar for me?"

Seokjin jumped up from the couch. "Sure." He walked into the kitchen and took the jar that she held out to him.

"Pickles," he murmured, twisting the lid off the jar.

She smiled. "Yeah. Too tired to cook, so I'm making myself a sandwich. You want one?"

"You should've told me you were hungry. I would've cooked something," he said. He wondered why she hadn't said anything when she came home from work half an hour ago.

"That's okay," she replied. "I didn't want to bother you. I knew you'd gone out on auditions today and that you must be tired, too."

"No, Annie. I wouldn't have been too tired to make you dinner." He felt guilty that he'd been sitting on the couch for the last three hours. "I'll tell you what. From now on, I'll have something ready by 5 o'clock every day just in case you're hungry. Monday through Thursday."

She cut her sandwich in half. "Hm. Why not Friday?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd want to go out to eat on Friday."

She closed the pickle jar and put it inside the fridge. "You mean like on a date?"

He looked down nervously. "Um...I guess." He felt his palms getting sweaty. Did this mean that she was okay with dating him? He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"That's assuming someone asks me out on a date." She picked up her plate and a can of soda and walked to the table. He followed her and watched her sit down. "And no one has, so I guess I can fend for myself on Fridays." She looked up at him. "But don't let that stop you. If you decide to go out on Fridays, that's okay. I'm sure you have plenty of options."

Seokjin watched her bite into her sandwich, oblivious to the idea of going out on a date with him. He felt foolish standing over her. He made some noncommittal sound and went back to the couch. She probably never thought about him as anything other than a friend. He had to get the idea of anything romantic with her out of his head.

Hoseok was right. He'd been harboring fantasies about Anna that he'd not wanted to admit to himself. She was his best friend. He should be more respectful of that. She'd done nothing but be supportive of him since the beginning. She did not deserve to be objectified just because she was gorgeous and set his blood on fire. But every time he closed his eyes, he could see her beautiful face and her beautiful breasts as her towel fell.

He hit the remote control aggressively, flipping through the channels. His friends were right. He needed to get laid on a regular basis so that he wouldn't be having these thoughts about a sweet, innocent girl like Anna just because she was nearby. The problem was that he'd had sex with another girl, but when he came home, he felt guilty. And his mind was still on Anna. He wanted Anna.

"Jin, you want something?" Anna called from the table.

He was startled for a moment, thinking she'd read his thoughts. I want you, he thought about saying. Instead, he cleared his throat and said, "Uh, no thanks. I ate a little earlier." He heard her washing her plate then walk to her room.

He remained staring blindly at the TV screen. No, there was nothing there. She didn't feel the same toward him. He had to let that go. They were friends, nothing more.

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