I was tempted today.

I was tempted the second I saw her appear, pantless. Her short, honey brown legs make my mouth water like a river.

When I grabbed her and felt her thighs in my palms, fuck....

It took everything in me not to give Lizzie's ass a spanking to remember, then take her right there in her bedroom, making Giraffe watch every second of me thrusting my hips into his cuddle partner while she's moaning, 'Harder Papi,' over and over.

When the time is right, it'll happen.

Game over, that ass is mine. Ass in the air ready for me, no questions asked.

So many opportunities pushed me, and my hand is ready to make a print right on her right ass cheek.

I was truly tested and this is just the beginning.

She has no idea what she does to me, ever since I laid my eyes on her at her job.

The sparks in both of our eyes electrified my body. I thought it was the perfect chance to kiss her but the dust particles thought otherwise that invaded her nose.

Part of taking my shot with a woman like Lizzie means taking time no matter how much I want to rush the clock. With her, she's like a two minute warning, slowly dwindling down and anything could happen, so I have to plan strategically.

Believe me, as much as I want to speed up the process, I'm actually enjoying our time spent together. She is a daily dose of sunshine in the clouded darkness of my heart.

I smile, looking over at her as she tries to discreetly take a photo of our hands clasped together. I move it, making her grumble.

"Hold still, I'm trying to make myself famous on Pinterest," she says but I rock our hands side to side.

"Famous for what?" I ask, with a smile.

"To restore my name," she says softly, making my heart twinge a bit.

I kiss her soft hand and she whimpers, looking down at her Nike Slides that flop back and forth.

Even though the reality of us is we're progressing, the photo remains and still floats around. While Lizzie was trying to get Maxine's blood pressure down before we left, Coach T messaged me about a few websites that won't take the photo down, so he's been working with Student Life to get it down. I don't want this photo messing up anything, not only my future but especially Lizzie's.

She deserves nothing but the best, like Maxine says.

"I'm sorry." I glance at her for a sec, she pushes some long, black strands out her face.

"It's okay Jaylan," she softly says and I trace my thumb on her hand.

"No, it's not. And you know it's not. Nobody deserves that," I assure her as she looks out the window.

Silence fills the car while the new Lion King soundtrack plays softly because she says Lexi always takes co-pilot when they go on adventures out of town, with Maxine planning, she emphasized.

"Neither do you," she softly says, making my heart tighter.

"I have tough skin," I assure her.

"You do, you kinda need some lotion." She giggles, and I chuckle at her deflects.

"Always roasting me."

"Aunt Lisa said I could." She beams and that makes warmth spread across my chest.

Aunt Lisa blew up my phone last night, about how I'd better not do anything stupid to loose Lizzie. She said her heart is nothing but pure gold and if I do any damage then she will damage me. Her threats are real. I'm always honest with Aunt Lisa and I did tell her the truth of what happened with the photo. Uncle Steve said she could find a better knucklehead than me but he did like her. He wished she would join them in Just Dance last night because she was saying she will beat him. No one beats Uncle Steve in Just Dance.

"Did you have a good time last night?" I pull her small middle finger, making her gasp. I chuckle because she probably never cusses a day in her life.

"I did." She holds her hand up, stopping her giggle.

"I told you you'd like the banana pudding," I touch her face softly, she shrugs up her shoulders like always but her eyes sparkle a little at the contact.

"I only liked the cookies and pudding part," she specifies.

"You know what I liked?" I lick my lower lip, making her avoid eye contact with me.

"What?"

"You being there," I confess, making her shut her eyes and roll her lips inward, trying to hold back her smile.

"Jaylan," she softly says, scolding me in a tone that contrasts the pleased look in her eyes.

"What? I'm serious, I already told you how I felt about you."

She stays quiet but her doe eyes made me feel warmer inside by how beautiful they brighten for me. "But, you barely know me," she sinks her teeth in her lower lip.

"Lizzie, what are we doing right now?" I glance over for a sec to see her blushing like crazy.

"Driving," she tries to stump me.

"Stop playing," I lower my voice.

She squeaks with added giggles when I playfully try to bite our clasp hands. "I don't know."

"You do know." I tap her nose making her eyes blink.

"Talking."

"I knew that nurse's brain worked," I joke and she presses her lips at me. "So, can I ask more acquaintance questions?"

"Sure," she says, releasing a sweet smile with a sparkle in her eyes.

I maneuver over to the next lane, pondering on the many questions I could ask but I need to start off soft.

"Hmmm, where we left off after Saturday... Let's see, you don't like Cherry Garcia, you like soap operas, you celebrate PB-and-J day... Kazoo day, make candles like a mad chemist, have good taste in tattoos, hate unscheduled events... " I list off. In the corner of my eye, I notice the corners of her lips pull up shyly while she's looking away at the window.

"Hmmm... Oh, and you like to Pinterest my hands too," I tease.

She twists her lips but turns her shoulders, looking at me. Feeling her hot gaze on the side of my face makes my chest's warm feeling spread.

"And your favorite color is blue." I laugh when she gapes her mouth open.

"How did you know that?"

"I notice everything about a beautiful Kazoo Day celebrator," I tease and she covers her mouth to hide her smile. "So, I'm curious what is the first thing you notice about a stranger?"

"Their smile," she shyly says and looks down at her Slides again.

"How come?"

"Because smiling is free therapy," she chirps and I crack a smile. She shares her best smile and teases, "See?"

She's right there. She traces her finger around my hand, making my skin tingle from her touch.

"What is something you like about yourself?" She beams and looks at me through her eyelashes.

A thought I never really had to think about before. What honestly do I like about myself? If I reflect back on myself, it was everything I built up falsely. I never had something to like about myself. The midday sun highlights my hands as if it's my mom telling me what she liked most about me most of all.

"I like to help others in need," I say softly, and she flickers her eyes up at me.

"How?"

Dang, Doc Mcstuffins.

"I like help because I never got it myself." I mention passing a slow ass car in the left lane.

She nibbles her lip, holding back wanting to ask further but I swipe my thumb over her knuckles to assure her it's okay. "That's hard to believe, your Aunt Lisa and Uncle Steve are so nice."

"They are, they help me a lot." I sigh, lightly thinking about the journey we have been on.

"But then why did you say that." She covers her one hand over her mouth but I chuckle softly at her politeness.

I never ever ever ever ever ever ever talk to girls about this, not even Ava hell, Gabrielle too. Ava knows about my mom but we only hit that 'Aww, I'm sorry to hear that Jaylan,' or Gabrielle's, 'I would love to hear about her more,' but never follows through. I know grief is a weird thing but when someone loses a parent, they should have the freedom to talk about them on their terms.

"Because that's what my mom liked about me," I let the words simmer as they float around in the car.

Something I didn't expect is Lizzie bending down to kiss my hand, in a cute way, pecking it. I chuckle but silence still swirls arounds.

"Did you help her a lot?" she questions gently, knowing she doesn't want to probe.

"We helped each other," I reply, thinking about everything she always taught me. Certain things I still try to do now, like holding open the door for a woman, never let her walk by the road, helping an eldery person in need, and helping my coaches with putting equipment away,

"What did she teach you?"

Warmth spreads across my chest as I catch her in the corner of my eye, sinking her teeth in her lip. "To carry groceries for an old person," I deflect a bit, making her smile big at the heroic gesture.

"What else," she becomes interested in making me smile, slowing up as we're hitting the afternoon traffic rush I was trying to avoid.

"How to serve the community I live in, picking up trash by the basketball courts or in front of our house." I smile, thinking about how Mom and I would do that Saturday mornings with our neighbors.

Older guys who hooped on Saturday mornings from another neighborhood would trash our place because our basketball court was safer. I wouldn't mind doing that with Lizzie one time after basketball is over.

"That sounds fun," she says,

"Picking up trash?" I let out a hearty chuckle because I couldn't have paid Ava or Gabrielle, or any girl I knew, to do that.

"Yeah, and with your mom," she observes the main idea.

"Yeah," I softly admit.

I let out a smile and she taps my hand. "Do you get to see her?" Her voice squeaks a bit and my heart rattles from the question, always hating to tell this part every fucking time.

"No, she passed away," I clear my throat.

Unexpectedly, Lizzie lays her head on my shoulder, providing her radiating caring heart on me.

"I'm sorry Jaylan, I...I can't imagine what that's like, I'm sorry I di-" She stammers and I caress her hand.

"It's okay Lizzie. It's been awhile."

"It's never okay," she softly says and those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

"I know," I barely say the words, trying not to choke on them. Lizzie lifts her head up and softly touches my shoulder, rubbing circles and caressing it like everything is going to be okay.

I softly kiss her hands to lighten the mood, knowing she would leap back like she touches a hot stove. I let out a soft chuckle and she nibbles her lip. "Maybe this year you can celebrate Día de los Muertos with me," she says softly in a thoughtful tone.

"What's Día de los Muertos?" I struggle to pronounce and she giggles at me.

"It's a Mexican holiday where families welcome back the souls of their deceased relatives for a brief reunion that includes food, drinks, and celebration," she says excitedly, with every word making it interesting to me.

"I... I do it for all my family who left this earth," she shyly admits and it makes me wonder who's left her.

"Like who?"

"Umm, my bisabuelos and Tio Diego," she softly says again. "Grandparents and Uncle."

"I think we should pencil that day in, don't you think?" I suggest and she flashes another one of her smiles that always rocks my world.

"What was your mom like?" She asks but stops herself with a hand over her mouth.

I clear my throat because everything within me wants to pump the brakes. That subject feels too fast too soon but... Why does it feel like I can trust her with this information, like she would treasure it and protect it, not use it against me like a weakness? I also don't want to scare her off nor do I want her to feel like I'm helpless.

I let out a sigh and she twists her lips, probably thinking she shouldn't have said anything.

"She was smart.... She loved people and to help them... She was a nurse too," I confess.

She shifts her tiny body in the seat, giving me full attention at the five letter word profession. "She was?"

"Yep, for five years," I proudly say and I could feel her smile as I pass the second fucking car who wants to drive slow in the left lane. I tighten my hand on the wheel as I maneuver over, glaring at... Shit, it's an old person. "It was her dream."

"So, you are used to being pampered," Lizzie teases and I laugh at her roast, something Aunt Lisa says too.

"I wouldn't say pampered," I correct her.

"You were." She pokes her tiny finger in my cheek.

"I was," I chuckle, admitting the truth.

"What kind of nurse was she?" she asks more eagerly.

I release a smile, knowing for a fact she is genuinely interested about it."She was a pediatric intensive care nurse."

"She was a braveeee woman," Lizzie says, shaking her head back and forth and I chuckle at her comment.

"Why is that?" I lick my lower lip.

"Because that was the hardest subject ever, the math, the calculations, the constant worry of sudden change, not-"

My smile grows so wide at Lizzie listing off everything my mom stressed over while she was in school and even while she was working.

"Math's not hard," I tease and Lizzie eyes narrow at me and I chuckle.

"It is you have to convert and-"

"Sounds like you need me to help you want these math questions," I tease with a smirk.

"Oh no, Jaylan you can't help with nursing math, It's too complicated." She sounds so serious, making me laugh hard.

"How hard can it be?" I continue to tease, and she huffs with a smile as she turns on her phone.

"How hard Jaylan! How hard! Okay let's see if I can stump you with this.... It's about minimum and maximum dosage."

"Alright, Nurse Lizzie," I arrogantly smile as she scrolls, grumbling about, 'how hard does he think it will be.'

"Ahaha ready."

"Ready," I reply confidently.

"Calculate the dose of amoxicillin suspension in milliliters for otitis media for a one-year-old child weighing twenty-two pounds. The dose required is forty milligrams per kilogram per day, dividing BID and the suspension comes in a concentration of four hundred milligrams per five millimeters."

The words make me cross my eyes, in a joking way, but I have to think about what she's saying at first.

"I'll read it again. Calculate the dose of amoxicillin suspension in milliliters for otitis media for a one-year-old child weighing twenty-two pounds. The dose required is forty milligrams per kilogram per day40 mg/kg/day, dividing BID and the suspension comes in a concentration of four hundred milligrams per five millimeters," she says like a smart ass.

"Alright." I grin, trying to think what I would do first. "Would you convert pounds to kilograms first?"

She clenches her jaw trying to hide her smile. "Yes," she huffs.

"Okay.... Convert pounds to kilograms by taking twenty-two pounds and multiply one kilogram for every two-point-two pounds, which is ten kilograms, right?" I ask, and her eyes widen knowing I'm correct.

"What about the dose?" She presses her lips together playfully and I chuckle.

"I guess you would times the ten by forty? Which would give you four hundred?" I see numbers float through my brain, trying to map it out.

"You're cheating!" She furrows and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Lizzie, how the... how?" I stop the fuck right off my tongue.

"Continue," she sasses and I smugly smirk at her.

"What's BID mean nurse Lizzie? Oh, wait, I know," I deviliously grin and she gasps thinking it's something dirty and I cackle because I know it means twice a day because my mom made a song about it. I guess I should share it with Lizzie sometime.

"You aren't getting a sticker and it's twice a day." She tsks at me.

"Okay, so would I divide four hundred by two? And get, what, two hundred milligrams for each dose BID" I smugly grin at her and her eyes widen, holding her phone away from.

"What's the answer, smarty pants?" She presses. "Since you think you know everything, you have to convert to milliliters?"

"Easy, two point five milliliters," I end with a smug grin and touch her face, making her move her shoulders up.

"This... doesn't mean you can help me with my homework," she says in her preschool voice.

"Of course it does," I tease, although I'm pretty sure studying with Lizzie might end up as distracting as tutoring from Lizzie was.

She lets out a hearty sigh and fiddles with her phone in her hand and I take her hand back into mine. "You are something, you know that,"

"Something great," she adds and I chuckle. "Jaylan, I know your mom would be proud of you,"

That's the second time I heard that today. I guess that makes it true.

"Thanks Lizzie, so... What is your mom like?" I toss back the question, but she tenses up slightly while looking at her phone screen of her, Lexi, and Maxine at Chick-fil-a drinking milkshakes.

"She's nice,.. Umm, likes to cook a lot... She cleans a lot...And she does hair," she pauses, then smiles softly. "She gives the best hugs.... And she's bossy like Maxine."

"No wonder you can handle ginger dem-... angel." I shut my mouth as she watches me, giggling at how I shut it like a fish.

"She is a good woman...." she finishes, fidgeting her opposite hand on the door.

"Do you guys get along?" I ask, provoking her chemistry lab brain.

"For the most part," she softly says as if I've touched a nerve and twisted it, making it hurt.

"What's the most part?"

"Umm, I don't feel comfortable answering that," she whimpers softly and I nod, understanding her side of things.

"It's okay, umm, what about your dad?" I quiz and her chest relaxes at the word father. Given my circumstances with PJ, her reaction makes me really curious.

"He is a good man... really." She sounds like she's convincing herself, making a slight sting at the possibilities.

"He is?"

"Yeah, Papà makes every day a day to celebrate." She sighs happily and I stroke my thumb over her knuckles again.

"What's your favorite day to celebrate with him?"

"Oh Jaylan, there are too many," she stresses and I laugh because she is so serious.

"Pick one."

She huffs quietly and taps her finger on her chin. Her eyes light as if she remembers a memory and sinks her teeth in her lower lip. Damn I love when she does that.

"Read a Road Map Day," she admits happily, with a fading smile.

"What do you do on that day?"

"Jaylan the title says itself," she roasts and I laugh, shaking my head.

"You are a smart ass, you know that?"

She gapes her mouth open and I stick my finger in there to be funny.

"Jaylan, there's so many germs on your finger!" She frets.

I cackle how she stroking her tongue with her nails to get it clean. I'm actually glad she has that reaction because if she'd closed her lips around my finger then I'm pretty sure I would've crashed the car.

"Answer the question."

She furrows her eyebrows and sticks her tongue back in. "Fine," she says in a yuck voice, "I like it because Papà would make it a whole family event and pick a random area to travel too in Mexìco."

"Where was your favorite place to go?"

"Oh, definitely Las Coloradas." Her entire face erupts into absolute, pure happiness. "Its cotton candy-colored waters, pastel blue skies, and soft white sand beaches. And they added pink flamingos just to make the experience ten times better. I have photos here, let me find them "

She says happily and gets on her phone again, but slowly her face starts to become the same clouded sadness she wore last night. Thankfully, traffic is gridded up to a parking lot standstill because she holds her phone up to show me Little Lizzie, her sister, definitely her brother, and mom and dad kissing. She nibbles her lip and places her phone back in her lap.

"That was the best Read a Road Map Day ever," she softly says and looks out the window.

I can't help but feel I've made her sad again, rain on her sunny heart. That's the last thing I want to do. . "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just miss my family," she says but something in her voice tells me there is more to that.

I'll let it be.

"I know you do," I softly say, kissing her hand and she looks at me with a loving smile.

She shyly loops her arm around me and holds up her phone, taking a photo. I kiss down on her head and she snaps that too. I laugh softly because she's really trying to get this Pinterest thing going for her.

"You know I will be the one to make you famous on Pinterest," I tease and she grunts at me but takes another one, so I put my middle finger up. "JAYLAN!"

I cackle as she types on her phone, probably reasoning over why I can't get a sticker on my chart. Which reminds me...

"I know what I want for my reward," I tease, moving my shoulders, making her head bounce a bit playfully.

"What." She crinkles her nose.

"I wanttttttt a sleepover party at my house before I leave for March Madness," I throw it out there, although I'm not sure what her reaction will be.

She sinks her teeth in, trying to hold back her smile and I chuckle.

"That's if you even make it to twenty," she teases and I lick my lips a bit, catching her gawk for a second... interesting.

"Oh, I'll get to twenty and I get my sleepover," I assure her smugly.

"Do you even know how to throw a sleepover party," she says like a smart ass again.

At this point I think I'm at hundred deposits into the spank bank. I'm getting rich by the minute.

"Lizzie, I will throw you the best damn sleepover, you won't even want to sleep."

She couldn't help but smile at the comment and taps my hand. "I think you probably won't get to twenty until November."

"Don't challenge me, Lizzie," I warn and she giggles.

Finally the traffic is breaking up and I begin to maneuver to make up for sometime because I'm fucking starving. I glance over to see she's already on Pinterest, beginning to pin things under a board labeled 'Jaylan's sleepover.'

Yeah, I like the sound of that.

What else has she got on that page?

"Now Entering Virginia," Google breaks the silence and Lizzie snaps her head up at me. I cackle as she narrows her eyes at me.

"Do you even want a sleepover?" she says in the cutest serious way, making me cackle so hard that my eyes water.

We laugh in unison, making it so perfect but a name announced from bluetooth silences all of the joy. I mumble 'shit' as Ava's name pops up on the screen. Lizzie starts to loosen her hands from mine but I keep them clasped. She nibbles her lip, looking down and I press the button.

"Hello?" I say dryly.

"Jaylan, can we talk? Please." She sighs softly and I catch a glance at Lizzie, who is fumbling with her opposite hand and shuts off her phone.

"You know the answer," I remind her and she sighs even more heavy and dramatic

"When are you getting over this phase?" She huffs.

I glance over at Lizzie, who's now looking at me and trying to let go of our hands, but I lift it up, kissing it.

"It's not a phase, you knew what we had wasn't permanent," I answer Ava but my eyes direct to Lizzie so she knows I'm serious.

"Jaylan, we are going to discuss it. How about this Thursday?" she says, our key hook up date.

"I have plans," I lie and Lizzie looks over at me with a gape mouth for being bad. I chuckle because I didn't care but I wanted to know where Lizzie stands and she needs to know where I will stand.

"Whatever Jaylan, I'll be ready on Thursday," Ava velvets her voice, but I only respond with gritted teeth.

"Don't plan on it," I joke, making Lizzie smirk, shaking her head at my lack of planning.

With that, Ava hangs up. Lizzie's eyes soften at me and her shoulders hang low still.

"Hey." I say, placing my hand under her chin softly as traffic slows up again. We share a quick glance as traffic stops. I push some strands out of her face. "I want to make this right. I know I have some baggage but I just want to let you know that I'm serious about you. "

"But what about the girl at the restaurant?" She softly says but puts her hands over her lips.

I take a deep breath since I could have made a better first impression. "It was nothing,"

"But what about Bree," the hurt in her voice stabs into me, but I deserve it. "The... girl at Terrapin's Turf?"

"That was nothing too," I assure her, looking directly into her eyes.

She looks down at her Slides again at my confession and she lets out a sigh that tightens my chest. "Will I be nothing?" Her voice is soft and meek but the hurt behind each word strike me harder than if she slaps me. The weight of my mistakes presses down on me when her eyes gloss over and shine with tears.

Despite being with all the women I have been with, only except my ex-girlfriend Gabrielle had an effect on me in terms of caring for a girl as a person. It was just sex, a means to numb all the pain I can't handle. I still can't handle my pain but I know that if I did that to Lizzie, then I would never forgive myself.

The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else and I care for Lizzie. Her worth is immeasurable. I realized the night in the ball pit when all she wanted was to have fun, nothing else. With literally no other angle or motive, she's more than a hookup. There is nothing more pure and beautiful than a person who always speaks truthfully with a childlike heart. That's Lizzie. She could never be nothing to me and for the first time, I'm okay waiting until I know her as a friend.

Technically, my brain is okay waiting. My blue balls, that's another story. But my heart agrees with my brain and is telling me it's worth the wait.

"A beautiful, Bubble Gum Day celebrator can never be nothing." I let go of our hands for a second and thumb her plump cheek, swiping a tear escaping from her eye. She softly giggles, making a few of those strands of hair fall perfectly over her angelic face. "You're the opposite of nothing, Lizzie."

"Jaylan," she says my name softly almost as if she moans

"I'm going to earn twenty stickers, just you watch," I lighten up the mood and she giggles, nibbling her lip and looking up at me.

"You just officially earned one," she proudly says softly.

"Oh yeah?" I smirk at her and she nods.

She turns up the music to Hakuna Mata, bobbing her head and making me chuckle at her childlike heart. Honestly, if Jordy was in the car this would be blasted to max.

Those two.

Her eyes light up with a thought and she turns toward me. "So, do they really give a good portion of endless fries?"

"More than you can imagine," I reply with a chuckle because her eyes get bigger than her body.

"Is there a cutoff?" She furrows her eyebrows

"Nope, Jordy ate like six baskets." I laugh, thinking about how Marcus and I had to carry him out because he could barely stand.

"Oh my." She giggles, holding a hand up to her lips. "We should bring him some back then."

Traffic lightens up again as we continue to our destination, listening to Hakuna Mata. It was a fitting theme song for spending every minute with my soon to be Shower With a Friend Day participant.

Edited by: still_just_me