"Almost done, Cap," Hollis cheers on as I grunt loudly, lifting my legs up.

Rap music blares loudly in the weight room with loud grunts and weights clicking together. Again, Coach is on playoff mode which means no junk food, intense workouts and no shenanigans. I don't know how I'm going to break it to the candy consumer. I can't eat sugar this weekend with her even though she will need the support every day till Monday.

I definitely want these last couple of days with my sugar enthusiast to be good for her. I know a lot of big things are coming up for her, her parents' divorce finalization, mid terms, Ginger Snap leaving, Lexi gone for a week, and me of course. I want these last couple of days to be memorable and put her at peace.

Maybe I can get Lizzie to eat some fruit, but on second thought I don't want my sleepover taken away. I crank a smile as I imagine she would have the most wrinkled face on the planet if she ate raspberries. She repeatedly told me how much that is the worst fruit on the planet but every fruit to her is the worst fruit on the planet, except mangoes...

Widening my grin, sweat trickles down my forehead. Breathing out another chuckle, I lift my legs at the leg press curl and groan, "I hate leg day. Fuck, Hollis, why today?"

Hollis chuckles and playfully smacks my calf. "How else are you going to run down the court?" He boosts my ego.

Shutting my eyes, to feel mental motivation, Lizzie's spa photos float through my mind. The delicate white lace complementing her honey brown skin left little to the imagination, taking me back to Valentines Day and Senior Night. I just would love to touch her again but I have to respect when she is ready for that again. It really leaves me wondering what she has up her sleeve before I leave and how bricked up I'm going to be on the trip to Indiana.

In retaliation for the photo, I had Marcus be my wingman film just my hands making her little chocolate milk potion and I knew that would get her good. The only thing she sent back was a thumbs up emoji and was silent for the rest of the night.

I let out a ragged breath from the radiating burn in my leg muscles on the second rep of two hundred.

"Six more." Hollis taps the top of the leg curl and I grunt because of his stupid challenge.

I left my leg up again for the leg curl press, grunting at the weight Hollis challenged me to do tonight. He thinks he won but I think I got this.... In the bag.

I grunt loudly with sweat trickling down my forehead.

"Three more," Hollis grins, smirking while squirting water in his mouth.

"Fuc...k .... You," I grunt out, curling up to two.

"Almost there," he smirks like he doesn't think I do.

"Why did you challenge this to me again?"

"Work out that frustration you got down south," Xavier teases, doing his reps beside me, a lot more easily I notice.

"Shut up," I snap, making the guys' laughs echo through the weight room.

"It's not about sex," Hollis grumbles, side eyeing him.

"It's not about sex," Taylor mimic's Hollis voice.

"This is why you get left on read, with that little dick pic." Hollis points at Taylor, who shuts up.

I chuckle because his unsolicited dick pic is getting sent around by all the marching band because he has a thing for the girl who plays the flute. Last time I checked, all she wants to do is shove the flute up his ass and tell him to take a hike, according to his and Jordy's adventure last night.

"He isn't wrong." I add.

A loud ping echoes through the gym while Xavier, Taylor, Jordy, and pretty much the whole team stop. In the silence that follows, it feels like the world stops at my comment.

"What?" My smile grows big, knowing good that my teeth are fully showing. I ease up my last rep and the weight room is still dead silent. I can almost hear my sweat dripping as all eyes stare at me.

"Repeat what you just said." Xavier slants his eyes at me and I breathe out a chuckle, moving my legs outside of the machine.

"That it's not always about sex."

"You monster!" Jordy covers his ears. "What did you do with Jaylan?"

"Take it back." Taylor points at me like I'm some kind of murderer.

"Why?" Grinning big, my teeth hurt... Mainly because I'm smiling thinking about Lizzie, making my heart flutter.

They gasp with jaws dropped open and I chuckle, pulling my phone out of my pocket to check the time because I told Lizzie I'll pick her up by eight thirty at the hospital.

"You... the one who can't go a night without his dick being beat, King Kong, Mister Steal Your Girl, knows more positions than Maxin- I mean..." Taylor shuts his jaw because Marcus shoots him a glare that could make Taylor drop dead.

"Shut up," Marcus clips, knowing he wants to boost so badly right now about his night with Maxine.... again.

"You have so much growth to do, Taylor." Hollis shakes his head and Taylor presses his lips at him.

I chuckle, shaking my head but in slight disbelief I have not had sex in exactly one month. Honestly, it feels great.

I didn't realize how damaging being with girls every night was until I went without. At one point, it started to interfere with practice until Coach had a talk with me about it. Sex became not meaningful the way Uncle Steve taught me, that sex isn't for self-gratification, it's a mutual agreement. It's more than just physical attraction and when you realize that it will become even more incredible when you have sex with someone you care about it.

That's the belief I'm hanging onto while waiting with Lizzie.

I'm not going to lie, it's tough being patient with Lizzie at times but throughout this whole process of her being my girlfriend, it's just been us being raw and real. Our emotions towards each other are much deeper...They are on my end for sure.

I'm not sure if she feels the same way. I want her to. I hope I'm not falling in love too early, like I did with Gabrielle. But if I look back at that relationship, we were in high school and long distance freshman dating in college. She made me believe we were met to be but all her toxicity with her words showed me otherwise.

"It's just that time to settle down, you know," I continue, leaving the jaws on the floor.

"But y'all legit just started dating," Xavier says, slanting his eyes.

"Actually, since my birthday!" Jordy loves to claim because he already called to be my best man.... If that ever happens and he might have to fight Uncle Steve for that... better yet Marcus. Fuck, what am I saying here?

"I wouldn't say birthday maybe about the time her hair got caught in the zipper." Taylor cackles, squirting water into his mouth but starts choking.

"I say puking chunks are a great love story." Marcus throws in.

Knowing Lizzie and her sappy self, she would say the night we made candles. For me personally... It was definitely when I laid my eyes on her at her job.

"Well, I'll be." Taylor clears his throat, getting his voice back from choking on his water.

"I'll be." I smirk.

"Jaylan hanging up his fuck boy ways..." Shawn chimes in.

The guys continue to share all my laundry of my past nights but honestly they really dont mean anything anymore now that I have the sugar fairy.

"So likeeee... How is it?" Xavier bites his tongue afterwards, making Hollis slap the back of his head.

"I'm not telling anything." I shake my head but grin smugly.

"Oh, come you always tell," Taylor whines and I sigh deeply, knowing he is right but I can't do that to Lizzie.

"Nah." I smirk, sipping my drink, looking at my phone to see Alexis texted me. I swipe my thumb across to read her message as Taylor begins his story about his time with Jordy trying to corrupt the marching band girls. They will eat them alive.

Cackling as Jordy explains, how Taylor gets turned down, I arch my eyebrow.

Alexis: you're welcome link

I arch my brow and she begins sending all these pin boards about Lizzie's first time. My phone legit trembles in my hand at what my eyes see.

"What's wrong with you?" Marcus grins, squirting water in his mouth.

Clearing my throat, I wave my hand and he doesn't let the smile disappear from his face. "I.. I think this is a set up."

"From who?" Marcus laughs leaning over to me. He throws his head back and cackles but tries to not make it obvious to the other guys. Thankfully the clatter of weights and dull conversations offers me some privacy because damn, I need to digest what I'm seeing.

"Looks like Alexis trying to help you out here." Marcus leans on the weights equipment.

"HEY! Get back to workouts, we aren't done!" Coach hollers from the desk, eating some Doritos.

Fuck me.

I should not have seen any of this or should even look at this but my eyes couldn't stop looking at all her thoughts and ideas. I knew this is what she would want ...rose petals to candles freaking everywhere, a song playlist... Wait a minute, is this a trap?

Me: Um???

I take another sip, seeing three grey dots and pauses.

What is she getting at? This is probably the final set up before they both kill me.

Alexis: Just figured to be one step ahead of Lizzie, for Tuesday night! Ignore the title! Oh and you're welcome.

An Amazon link?

This is some kind of virus to hack my phone or some shit? Which, for the record, there is nothing dirty anymore on my phone since Red Robin. Ava was the one who sent me the most anyways, took me a while but I felt good deleting her shit.

I click on Alexis' link anyway and I arch my brow.

Alexis: You're welcome again! Your own ball is in your court.

Wow, Alexis really needs to play basketball because her plays are real strategize but what the fu-... a sex toy? Nooooooo, my innocent Winnie the Pooh Celebrator does not need this... Wait. Fuck, does she use this... Oh, Shit...

Inwardly groaning, I narrow my eyes while reading the description of 'The most popular clit stimulator, g spot finder, nipple stimulation...'

The Rose?

Nah, fuck that shit... I refuse to use a sex toy on Lizzie... I mean, I've never needed anything else but I've probably never put a girl's pleasure before my own, if I'm truly honest.

On second thought, maybe this might be a way to explore Lizzie's sensuality to a new level... but, fuck a toy? Me, Jaylan Parker, using a sex toy though. Damn, the reviews are not helping either.

I never had such a fucking eternal battle in my mind right now. The mental images of Lizzie squirming from just my hand aren't helping.

I press my lips and turn off my phone, knocking the point down for Alexis. But why is my gut thinking this is a good idea?

"Whelp, I'm calling it quits." Hollis tosses a towel over his shoulder, then smugly grins while holding his phone.

"Yeah, same." Jordy yawns, stretching and showing his sweat stains from doing his arm workout that Coach has him on, which is actually improving. I raise up and smack my hand on his abs, making him leap back.

"Stop," he whines and Marcus does it too, to be an ass.

"Alright, workout's over. Morning workout's tomorrow at nine!" I clasp my hands over my mouth to shout.

The groans make me chuckle and Marcus sucks his teeth. He is Captain too. "Can we do nine thirty?"

"Make it eight!" Coach shouts from the desk, where he's playing Candy Crush still chowing down on the Doritos.

Why is he always on a ten? We all groan and Jordy is about to say something but Hollis covers his mouth and drags him to the locker room like a kidnapper. I cackle, shaking my head and placing my phone in my pocket.

I think I'm just going to shower at home because I want to take the little squeaker to the National Gallery of Art's ice skating rink tonight because tomorrow is the last day. The Sculpture Garden's fountain is frozen over for skating but they also have all this sappy photo booth, bar, food, and music I know she'll get down to.

Just how she does special things for me, I want to do the same before I leave. Like tomorrow, I'm going to take her to a drive-in theater close by because it's one of her dream dates and then on Sunday, one last dinner with everyone, which I know she will make special... Damn, I hope she makes those rolled up meat things again.. Didn't get a chance to eat them because Uncle Steve and Jordy are big hogs.

I smile, pressing open the front doors of the exit door while thinking how Fireball vowed to beat Lizzie and I at Headbands. Again, which is unlikely to happen because Lizzie and I got a system. I can't believe Maxine could not guess umbrella, like it's the most simple thing.

I chuckle, looking up and matching eyes with my sperm donor propped up against my car.

Fucking Hell.

I start my car from where I'm standing, roaring the engine, making him leap off and dropping the tooth pick from his mouth. Every time I see PJ, the more I can't wait to get the money from officially changing my last name. I know it's drastic, I know its unexpected but once I get drafted that's the first thing I'm going to do. Officially, I'll become a Robinson, the last name I will wear proudly instead of a worthless last name.

As I approach closer, muscles in my hand tighten as he waves a brown envelope in his hand, knowing inside is an easy one thousand dollars. That's not my life anymore and I don't want it to be ever again. I'm choosing me and my peace and that's something I wish my mom would have understood for herself but for some odd sick twisted reason PJ was her peace.

I glare at him as he smirks with deceit flashing in his eyes. "Well, long time no see, partner."

I ignore him, walking past but his free hand grips my arm and I shift, burning his skin with my eyes . "Don't touch me."

"Don't touch me," he mimics, rustling the bag at my side. "You're slacking."

"I'm not slacking on anything." I slant my eyes at him. "I told you, I don't want anything to do with you. I'm done"

He laughs as if my decision is a joke, making my chest burn. "How is your rent then?"

"It's none of your fucking business," I spit out between tight teeth.

"You don't have to be proud. Go ahead, sell tonight." He shakes the bag again.

Normally, I would have caved in to make the quick thousand dollars selling to the medical and law students but I don't think any ounce of me could do that knowing what all could lose making a decision like that again. Selling drugs was for PJ to like me... Love me.... But nothing I do will ever be good enough for him.

"I'm not fucking selling anything, PJ," I snap at him.

"What, you think you're too good now?" he clips back.

"No. I'm just actually thinking for myself." I gloat.

Thinking for myself, speaking up for myself is something I could never do with PJ because he believes emotions are for the weak. But these last couple of weeks I have learned that being weak makes you strong and more clear in judgment and understanding.

"Since when," he presses with dead eyes. They're the same color as mine, which I fucking hate.

"Since when I realized you have always been the fucking problem. I'm sick and tired of you thinking one day you'll realize you were wrong but you never will, you won't learn. You haven't learned since the first time you got locked up... I don't want you in my life anymore. I'm done."

After all those words, he tips his chin up and grins. "Sound just like your mothe-"

Grabbing his neck and bumping him against my car, his eyes widen at the anger transferring out of my body as I tighten my grip.

"Don't you ever talk about her like that," I warn him, my fingers digging into his throat. They're the same color as his skin tone, another trait I wish we didn't share. My heart throbs in my chest and my skin heats the longer I pin him down.

His voice strains more the harder I squeeze, "Why.... are you... still defending... her, she never lo-"

"Shut up!" I warn with a rough shove until his cheek presses into the car.

"Afraid to know the truth and believe in it?" he scoffs.

"She loved me," my voice comes out strong but inside his words still cut into me, fueling my anger further.

He knows talking about her triggers me and the anger, sadness and grief are just coming out through my hands every squeeze.

"If she did, she would still be here." Even pinned down, he tosses me up a grin.

"Shut up!"

"And it's funny how you fell so quickly for little Mamacita who's following right in your path, just transferring all your mommy issues to her," he rasps out a laugh that vibrates his throat under my fingers. "Does she know?"

My eyes squint and all I see is red. Red on my car, red on PJ, red surrounding us like it brightens the night sky. On autopilot, I raise my right hand, my fingers squeezing tight into a fist so hard that my knuckles tremble.

"Jaylan! Don't!" A familiar fatherly sound yells out from behind me.

My fist is inches from PJ's face and my eyes avert to see Coach T rushing over to us. PJ pushes my chest and I push him back.

"Jaylan!" A firm call from Coach T, along with his hand touching my shaking bicep, pulls me back. My chest is heaving with ragged breaths.

"Listen to your coach, Parker," PJ smugly grins and Coach T holds me back along with Jordy coming up from behind. Their hands bracket around my chest and pull me back a few steps.

"Stay off this property Paul! I don't want to see you here, not even on a security camera," Coach T threatens.

"Just giving Jaylan his job duty." He drops the envelope on the hood of my car and throws me a smirk.

"Get that shit out of here! He isn't doing that anymore! Now, get out here or I'll call campus security," Coach T warns, pointing to his tan Toyota Camry. PJ picks up the brown envelope shaking in front of my face and Coach T knocks it down.

"You're messing with the wrong one, both of you." PJ sneers first at Coach T, then me, making me lurch forwards.

Coach T shoves me back, then steps forward until he's right in PJ's face. The close confrontation makes Jordy draw in a sharp breath, but he holds me back, along now with Marcus.

"If you jeopardize his future, I'll make sure you will be behind bars for the shit you put him through!" Coach T barks, gritting his teeth and pushing PJ back away from my car.

The same brown eyes I see in the mirror flash at me. "Are you really going to let this happen, Jay?"

I look away because if I do, then I will legitimately kill him in this fucking parking lot. My arms tremble from how tightly I'm clenching my fists.

"Stay away from him!" Coach T orders.

"This isn't over, Jay." PJ sneers again, curling his upper lip back.

I don't bother to look and Jordy comforts me with his hand patting my trembling body. All I hear is PJ's poor engine start up and tire screeches.

He isn't wrong when he says this isn't over and he means what he says. I wish he would have died instead of Mom.

Coach T picks up a gold bullet PJ pinned under one of my windshield wipers and looks at me, frowning. "Jaylan, has he been leaving this on your car?"

Dropping my chin down, I can't even answer. Coach T just looks at me with a fatherly concern. Silence grew in the parking lot as my throat burns and just pain, my own damn... never mind... He doesn't deserve to be called my father.

My vision blurs and I feel Jordy hold my arm. Seeing bullets reminds him of his brother Andrew and I know if anything happened to me, it would devastate him like the first time and it still does, with no justice given to his family.

"I'm glad I came out here, I just wanted to give this to you." Coach T comes walking over to me, gluing me in my place. I'm still shaking from the aftershock rush of anger, grief, sadness, the emotions still swirling inside me like a tornado.

I just want to get out here.

Coach hands me a white envelope and I glance down and look at him and look back down. My chest heaves reading the words a few times before they sink in.

An endorsement deal for Powerade?

"We all got one and each sport team gets a featured drink during March Madness," Jory quietly says, and he taps my back.

"Wow," I say as my eyes scan it. Flipping over the envelope, my fingers trace the postage stamp date, 2.11.

Mom is with me.

My vision blurs, this time under a set of hot tears, and Coach T brings everybody in. "Jaylan, remember what I said, just pass the ball when you need it."

"We are here in the court of life Jaylan," he continues, looking at Marcus and Jordy..

I look up at the night sky, not wanting to look at everybody seeing the captain break.

"We got your back man," Marcus puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks, I gotta go and pick up Lizzie," I croak, patting the envelope in my hand softly into my chest.

With heavy steps, I walk to my car while silence lingers behind me. Jordy immediately goes to the car and gets in and Coach T gives me his sharp-eyed, 'Call when you are ready' look. I get in the car and my breath hitches.

Jordy looks out the window but I feel his heart heavy because I didn't tell him about what PJ was doing. I always tell Jordy, he knows everything about how PJ has treated me or what he has done to me. I pull off and, by the end of the one way street. I just couldn't hold myself together anymore. My throat burns from holding back and I put my car in park, resting my head on the steering wheel.

"I'll drive," Jordy offers quietly.

With those two words, I violently shake over the steering wheel. Raspy breaths pass through my lungs, my throat tightens with each sob, and I cry loudly. The dark feeling of loneliness surrounds me all over again from the situation with PJ. Taking me back like I was eleven all over again on the nights where I just felt like life was too much to bear and handle without my mom.

I fucking hate PJ.

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

"Treasure, that is what you are.... Honey, you're my golden star......You know you can make my wish come true..... Come on Jaylan!" Lizzie sings off key, swaying her body back and forth and holding the steering wheel tightly with her ponytail perfectly swinging across her back.

I would never let anyone drive my baby into DC with the crazy ass drivers but, knowing Lizzie, she'll stay in the slow lane and take side streets to avoid feeling unsafe. When I told her she could drive, she reached into my pocket, digging in and making a little bit of a turn on with how she kind of tugged my belt with aggression, well, aggressively for her.

It honestly took me a little longer to pick her up but she said it was okay because she was helping her patient to the bathroom and sneaking in a candy bar for another one.

She would.

I cried all the way back to the house in the passenger seat and Jordy just let me. I've seen him cry but he has never seen me, which was new for me. He ended up crying at the end because he didn't want to lose me to gun violence. His words wrecked me but things like this I have to speak up against because honestly PJ could end my life for not doing what he asks.

Didn't stop him from killing someone before, well, having someone else do it for him.

I cried all the way upstairs but a warm shower eased all of it away. Just the stress for what's to come in March and just family shit sagged down my whole body worse than my workout.

But I remember a tiny, chocolate consultant telling me it's okay to cry. Just thinking about last night as she dipped her fry into the milkshake, eyes filled with tears but with a smile because it tasted so good. How can someone who has so much crap in their life be so happy as she is? She bounces back too quickly, even though I know the day she dreads is coming up. The prettiest eyes cry the most tears, the kindest hearts have felt the most pain, and that's my girlfriend.

I let out a smirk as she hits the high note and I playfully touch her cheek. "Jaylan, I'm driving."

"I know, Squeaker."

She furrows her eyebrows at her new nickname but tries to hide her cranked up smile, which is revealing her breathtaking dimples.

I don't know how I'm going to tell Lizzie about PJ but I want to tell her tonight. I feel like I need to be more open and honest if we even take our relationships to another level of intimacy. I don't know how tonight will go but if I don't tell her, somebody else will and I don't want that.

"Right there, babe," I say with a smirk, knowing she is tightening her grip on the wheel.

She turns into the mini parking lot but her eyes marvel at the lighten up garden entrance and she sinks her teeth in her lip. "What is this place?"

"You'll find out." I smirk and get out of the car with ease. I stretch big and zip up my black Nike jacket, knowing this is going to end up being on Lizzie because she only had her work jacket and that's not going to cover her up on the ice skating rink. I don't want her to get cold, plus this jacket will cover up her ass because fuck her scrubs just hug it so perfectly. Navy blue is her color for sure.

I open the door and she springs out like a jack-in-the-box, tucking herself under my arms in excitement.

"ICE SKATING!" She beams, pointing at the wooden 3D neon Edison bulb sign.

I chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck. She wraps her arms around my body, her warmth and love transferring to my aching heart right now.

"You are so cute!" She grabs my face and wiggles her nose into mine.

"I'm sorry you couldn't change." I look down at her work clothes.

"I don't care." She shrugs and tries to pull me to hurry up to the greenery fake garden wall path. The string lights hanging from each side highlight Lizzie's beaming face as she turns around.

"This is so awesome but how are you going to fit in the skates?" She giggles and I wrap my arms around her body like a bear, making her squeal in laughter echoing the path.

"Always roasting me," I tease.

"More like cooking you," she corrects and I nuzzle my face into her neck, getting a whiff of her faint vanilla.

"Thanks for driving," I mumble into her ear, then pull back.

"Anytime. Actually, maybe on the way back?"

"Not a chance." I smirk down at her and she furrows her brows.

"But I never get to drive," she says like I didn't just let her drive.

"Never say never" I remind her.

"Never," she tests and I arch my brow at her, making her smile at my firmness.

I've thought about lending Lizzie my car at least for her to get to work and drive around campus because I refuse to have her walking home late while we are all gone.

Her face lights up with excitement. "Jaylan, I got to see someone guts come out this afternoon!"

I wrinkle my whole face as her eyes widen and she giggles, bumping into my arms. "That's fucking disgusting, Lizzie."

"Hey." She hits my arm, well, pats it. "It was cool, I've never seen what a stomach looks like."

"What's it look like?" I slant my eyes, not sure I want to know, and she taps her chin.

"Like pale pinkish, had a lot of blood though." My own stomach clenches but she just lifts her shoulders.

"How the heck are you calm?"

"Easy, just pretend everyone has a red clown nose on." She giggles, lifts up on her toes, and taps the end of my nose.

I softly chuckle at her seriousness as we walk into the open space of the secluded area in the Museum of Modern Art's Sculpture Gardens. IT's such a gem, to be honest, and there are not a lot of people here when I bust my ass.

"Oooo look!" Lizzie points at a food truck Burger Mania. I could definitely go for grease comfort right now.

"Ooo look!" She continues pointing, this time at the photo booth and I knew she was going to geek over that.

Lizzie's happiness, the way she's bouncing on her feet and smiling so brightly, is so contagious. It relieves the heavy feelings I have for a moment, making the bad situation better. "What do you want to do first?"

"Definitely ice skating." She skips over to the booth, leaving me hanging but I take a couple strides and softly grab her waist.

"Easy cowgirl." I pull her into me and she pushes her butt out.

"Hi, welcome to Capital Rink. How many Are in your party tonight?" A chestnut brunette twirls a strand of her hair, locking eyes with me and batting her lashes.

"Uhh, two," I hope two and Lizzie beams, not paying attention to this chick. She just holds my arm and looks up at me smiling and I smile back.

"Oh umm, okay... We have about an hour and forty five minutes 'till this closes. It's going to be forty-five dollars for the entry fee and skates." She relaxes her smile as Lizzie clasps my hand into hers.

"Alright, no problem." I reach for my pocket and grab my wallet.

"What size skates?"

"A six and he's probably like a twenty," Lizzie roasts.

I smack my lips but a little flattered about the shoe size but I'm fourteen. I laugh, shaking my head at her roast. As the girl hands our skates, I hand her a fifty dollar bill as Lizzie marvels with these sharp blades in her hands. I grab them before she cuts me unintentionally.

"HEY!" She grumbles as I hold them up high to keep us both safe.

"Enjoy." The chestnut brunette sighs in discontent, watching Lizzie in jealousy of her well-deserved spot.

Lizzie stomps her feet to the bench, grumbling in Spanish and leaving me to smirk at her frustration. I walk over and lean down to sloppily kiss her cheek.

I sit by her and place the skates down. Lifting her leg, she topples over into my arm. I laugh and she furrows her brows. I slip off her bright pastel crocs and she wiggles her planet anklet socks. A dangling anklet catches my eye.

"Who gave you this?" I ask, grabbing a skate to help her put it on.

"My sister Isabela and I have matching ones."

I trail my fingers over the delicate gold chain around her ankle, I remember seeing it playing her little game on Senior Night. "I like it."

"Me too, I never really take it off. Reminds me always to call her, when the moon scratches my skin and makes me itchy." She answers as I slip her first foot into her skate.

"Does she like science too?" I ask as I shove the skate all the way on and start tying her laces.

"Pfff, that fresa only likes to go shopping. That's her favorite subject to study." Lizzie giggles as I put on her second skate.

"Fresa?"

"Fre-s ah means she's prissy." She helps and I repeat the ah, making her giggle. That sound is just what I need to hear.

She stands up and wobbles, plopping herself right back down and making me smirk at the sound of her ass on the metal bench. I fling up my watch that's draping down and my eyes catch sight of Lizzie's darkening eyes. I softly chuckle because I didn't even do anything and she's turned on.

Damn, she is turning into me.

"Stop judging me." I side eye her playfully while pushing my foot in these damn skates.

"Jaylan, how are you going to fit those skates," she says, sounding genuinely concerned as I lace it up then put on the second one.

I throw my head back and cackle, standing up with ease. I reach my hand for her to grab it and she softly connects it, so I pull her in.

"Don't let me fall," she warns me, gripping my hand tightly, well tight for her.

"If we go down, we go down together," I tease.

She whimpers, tightly holding my arm and I wrap my arm around her. Another reason why I chose ice skating is because my mom and I would do it at the Inner Harbor during Christmas. It was the one tradition we stuck by and I want to start again this year with Lizzie, so practice makes perfect.

"H...how are you so calm right now?" she stammers and trembles as we step onto the opening.

"Relax, you got it." I step out carefully and reach my hand to her.

She eases onto the ice and her legs wobble but I touch her back as she clings on to me with dear life.

"Easy," I comfort, holding her tight.

"What.... made you get into this." She tightens her grip, well barely, but she clings on to me like her normal koala grip.

"My mom and I used to go for Christmas." I push off my feet and we begin to glide but she stays stationed.

"I always wanted to but I'm too scared." Shaking her head, she stays planted.

"Come on, dominant foot first. Mom always said it's almost like you are marching in place with a little push."

I begin to start and she whimpers, afraid to move. "Here, you got it," I cheer her on.

"I don't know Jaylan." She shakes her head again.

"Do you trust me?" I slowly pull away, straightening my arm so she's a full length away.

She whimpers again but moves her dominant side first. "Yes "

"Alright, we can do this... together," I assure her, squeezing her hand.

"Together," she softly gulps.

She begins to move by herself like I knew she would, slips, and falls right into my arms. "Sorry."

"Don't be." I rub her back softly. "Want to try again?"

"No, can I just hold on to you?"

I softly chuckle and lean down to kiss her forehead. "Of course."

We slowly begin to move around the rink as smooth pop instrumentals play in the background. Just a few couples are out here but the ice rink is so large, it feels like it is just her and I.

"How did you even find this place?" she asks, lifting her eyes around us.

"Resources," I tease.

Big Red actually recommended it, mainly because she likes my pockets to blow but anything is worth it for the Broccoli Exterminator.

"Did you ever fall when you did this with your mom?" Lizzie's feet catch, making her clutch onto my arm.

"All the time," I assure her with a chuckle and tug her gently.

"I'm sure you were the main cause," she teases, letting me pull her a few feet.

"Never, Broccoli Lover." I stop as her feet keep moving.

"Jaylan Alexander!" Her eyes shoot wide as she comes straight for me.

I throw my head back and laugh as she bumps her head into my arm. "What?"

She huffs and I lean down to kiss her cheek. "Did you guys do anything else?"

"Yeah, we would get hot chocolate at the Lexington Market and then go right to Uncle Steve's house to make Christmas cookies."

Well, Mom and Aunt Lisa did. Uncle Steve and I just made everything worse, getting sprinkles everywhere and then we got kicked out the kitchen and ended up watching basketball of course.

Lizzie pauses for a moment, sinking her teeth into her lower lip. "Umm... did your dad ever join?"

I sigh discontentedly because Mom invited PJ every time. "No... He wasn't really involved in my life, honestly."

Considering what happened earlier, I wish that was still the case.

"I'm sorry Jaylan," she offers in a soft voice, looking up at me with concern filling her eyes.

I offer her a smile that feels sad. "I want to say it's okay but it's not, but I had Uncle Steve."

"What is your dad like?"

"Selfish," I spit out bitterly.

"I understand that, but do you love him?"

I pause for a long time, until we go almost halfway around the rink. She still clings to me, her feet barely moving but waits for my answer. "Sometimes," I finally admit.

"Me too, I understand the feeling." she admits, dropping her eyes.

"Sometimes I hate him for not being there for me and just letting me deal with things alone," I offer the truth, I really felt that way for years.

"Did he comfort you when your mom died?" she asks softly.

"No, he doesn't really believe in affection." The words come bitterly out of my mouth.

"What do you mean?" Her voice soothes over like sweet sugar.

"He doesn't like crying or hugging, just stuff to feel emotions..." I stammer.

"Do you think he was hugged as a child?" she asks genuinely.

I rub the back of my neck and raise my eyebrows, at bit unsure how to answer that.

Mom did try to connect with my grandparents on his side. But they weren't really open to the idea of young parents and out of wedlock. The only contact I had with them was birthday or holiday cards.

"He probably was." I shrug.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring up touchy subject," her hand pats my chest, right over the part that's still aching from earlier.

"Lizzie, it's okay. I think it's time to tell you anyway about him." My chest tightens again. It's honestly why I had you drive tonight."

We stop by an area to sit down to rest on a bench nearby and my chest becomes heavy again to reveal what I've been dreading since the day Ava revealed to me what she knew about my alternative lifestyle. I want to be open but I don't know how Lizzie will take this news.

Lizzie leans her on my arm and clasps her hand with mine. "What happened, Jaylan?"

Fuck.. I really don't want to cry in the middle of this place but the burning sensation in my throat and the blurred vision are taking over. "Lizzie, I don't know how to tell you this," my voice cracks and she turns my face with a different type of furrow of her brows. This time her eyes fill with concern.

"I don't know where to begin," I rasp, releasing tears from my eyes

"You can tell me, Jaylan," she softly says, flickering her brown eyes, light as honey, between mine.

I don't know where this conversation will lead tonight but I do know being honest is worth it, in order for her to see the real me and why I did unforgivable things. I just hope knowing this dark part of my past doesn't change where I want my future to go, with her.

But even the Belle saw beyond the Beast.

Her tiny hand rubs my soft back and I just lose my restraint.

Here goes nothing.

Edited and spiced up by still_just_me like always!