Have you ever just wanted to strangle but be intrigued by a sexy guy at the same time?

Impressed but angry...

Captivated but furious...

Curious but completely turned off...

Is that even possible?

I want to just rip his clothe-

Woah, wait a minute.

"Bye, Lizzie." Jaylan's syrup brown eyes roam over me.

Like every time he looks at me, warm and rich with heat, my skin warms and tingles like when I'm watching Amor En La Calle Trienta y Tres when Valentina and Juan smooch their faces off.

With two outgoing, social butterfly-like and, umm... active roommates, I am often content in the confines of my own room. Yes, I see boys in my classes and Spencer but no one has ever looked at me like Jaylan. He looks at me like he has a full course meal in front of his eyes and leaves none for others. Other times, like at the bar, he's drinking my eyes like he's wondering where have I been all his life.

In N100, that's where I've been, Jaylan.

When Max falls into a coughing fit, I quickly look away, covering my most likely berry cheeks with my hand.

What is wrong with me? I should not be flattered by this guy for missing his appointment!

He called me Lizzie!

"It's Elizabeth to you!" Max viciously snaps.

When I look back at him, I feel like flowers grow in my chest, or I am about to go into cardiac arrest from lack of sleep...

Is that even possibl-?

"Alright." He flashes me a gorgeous boyish grin and my heart reacts like mentos dropped into Pepsi.

Very cool experiment, besides getting yelled at by Mamà because the bottle cap gave Mateo a black eye.

Yeah that was not good.

"Move along Parker." Max motions her hands shooing him away.

"Max" furrowing my eyebrows at her.

"What he needs to know his place!" Her voice bounces off the wall.

Jaylan chuckle vibrates the walls sending sensations all over my body.

He has a really hot laugh.

"Would you beat it!" She orders.

If my face couldn't be anymore beat red. Glancing back  He doesn't budge but fixes his tall Polar Bear height with toothy grin. I never seen anyone stand up to Max like that before.

"What are you doing still standing there!" Max stomps her foot, and his deep chuckles fill my ears as he walks out of the study room.

"Crazy ass." He murmurs.

"I heard that!" She spat.

"Good!" His voice travels breaking the library rules.

I couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably.

"It's not funny!"

"It is." Bouncing my shoulders.

"What did he say! Did he touch you!" Max spite fires questions.

Throwing my head back at her dramatic interrogation.  I don't know if I'm feeling parasomnia from the one hour of sleep I got or smitten over his charm. I don't know if it's delirium or did he just wink at me?

UGH! I sat here, in this very study room, for ten minutes past the fifteen-minute window. Combined with the time I arrived early, I have been sitting her more than an hour. Ms.Nusbaum promised me I will still receive my money for no shows.

Otherwise, I would have push the big dinosaur down and smother him with Conor. Thankfully, Max waited with me since she was my ride home, even if she is now scowling at me like I've done something wrong.

"Hello, Earth to Lizzie!" She snaps in my face.

"Max it's okay."

"Lizzie, you can't just talk to strangers like that!" Maxine chides me.

My lip quivers as I'm trying not to either burst into tears or laughter at how this day transpired.

Did that just really happen? ¡Señor ten piedad! (Lord have mercy) I'm tutoring Jaylan!

"Thank God I got here! Who knows what would happen, he's probably trying to spread his STIs," she says and puffs up her chest heroically.

"He was just saying hello." I defend only for Max eyes to stretch big "That's how it begins!"

That's all it takes for the delirious giggles to come out of me by the shocking revelation of who I will be tutoring this semester.

Yeah, that's right, this wholeeeee semester, don't get me started on that. I need sleep.

"Lizzie!" Max dramatically whines.

"But we do know him," my whisper squeaks over the contagious giggles.

Max couldn't help to join in yet stopped to sigh dolefully and shakes her head. She closes her eyes for one breath, then two. "I didn't think it would come to this, but I think we need to have 'the talk.' "

I squint my eyes suspiciously as she looks at me in sadness.

"That talk?" I ask, puzzled.

I look back at my computer, where everyone has logged out of the study group meeting.

Oh no.

I facepalm myself and shut my laptop. Glazing at my phone I see three messages appear from Spencer.

Spencer: you okay?
Spencer: what did Jaylan Parker want 🤔
Spencer: he is trouble!

I twist my lips and type,

Me: turns out I'm tutoring him 🥸

I see grey dots disappear and appear but Max pacing back and forth in the room. I quickly pack up my belongings into my bookbag.

"Yes, the talk." She heaves a deep breath.

After I zip up my bookbag, I look up at her combing her fingers in her hair. She tips her head back and looks up at the ceiling, and I couldn't help but giggle at her again.

My shoulders bounce, "You are so dramatic."

What would happen if she didn't show up so soon? I probably would have told Jaylan to Kis-

"I didn't think it would be so soon," Maxine says in disbelief. "I'm sorry, Lizzie."

"Think what?" My forehead tenses as I frown, putting the straps on my back.

I push my hair to the side, the long strands getting tangled in the book bag straps. Maxine looks at me then shakes her head. Her green eyes are seeped deep in sadness again.

"Come on, let's go, we'll talk in the Jeep," she said in sadness, or is she sad?

We head to the elevators, while Max keeps looking at me in sadness which makes me slightly concerned about what this talk may inquire. While we walk silently, my mind holds an internal argument with itself.

I can't believe he called me Lizzie again.

He wasted your time!

So, what he is, muy guapo!

The guy made you wait for an hour.

But his smile...

Wilmer Valderrama smiles better!

But his deep voice -

I smile thinking how perfectly he said my name with no hesitation, with confidence, with-

"Oh no, it's beginning!" Maxine cringingly sorrows.

"Què?"

What is she freaking out about?

The elevator doors open, and my eyes meet the front doors. The road and sidewalk are lightly traced by pure, white snow. Large, fluffy flurries were heavily coming down, making a little dance in my heart and relaxing this wildly emotional day.

This day is much needed for Hot Chocolate and chocolate chip cookies. I wonder if Jaylan likes hot chocolate. I bet he would like look so ho- nevermind Lizzie you are going to deep here.

"Quit day dreaming about that that pest" she huffs.

Bouncing my shoulders Max opens the door, and we swiftly head to the Jeep. Maryland weather is bi-polar, yesterday was forty five degrees, and now it is seventeen. When Max and I get into the Jeep, she glances over at me again as if I lay on my deathbed and starts the ignition.

What is wrong with her?

"Max?"

She glances at me with as her lips curl down. "It's already a lost cause."

"What is."

"Jaylan meet you." Her shoulders slump.

"Maxxxxx, he seems nice."

"Seee," she whines.

"See what?"

"That's what he wants you to think." She huffs drooping her shoulders.

She is so dramatic.

The ride back home is silent, heavy, and uncomfortable. I glance over at Max, who's mumbling a whole conversation to herself. Her eyes glaze over with a faraway look but at least she's driving within the lanes.

I sit back and glance out the window, watching all the students make their way home in the snow. A smile pulls on my lips when I see a few kids drop their bags and start a snowball fight.

There is nothing like a snow day in college. I wonder if Lexi wants to go sledding tomorrow if we have a snow day.  Better yet, I should ask Spencer! He has the best sled! It has the ropes in the front and you can get some good traction.

Shifting my eyes down at my phone, warmth spreads across my chest at the photo of Isabela and I.  I need to call her, I know she has a lot to say recently and I am not personally ready to confront it right now.

Me: Want to go sledding this afternoon?!?

Not even three seconds before shutting my phone off, three grey dots appear.

Spencer:   Oh most definitely what time?! And just looking out for you Lizzie.

Lightness fill my chest of his caring words

Me: I know! I can't believe I'm tutoring math out of all things.

Spencer : 👀 how did you get that gig? lol I thought you hate math? ETA on the sledding?

He isn't wrong.

I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't sleep one by was mortified by Ms.Nusbaum's kindly heinous email. I made it my mission not to remember anything about Statistics anymore. Maxine and I burned all of my notes in a nearby dumpster at the end of last semester because she stated she wouldn't hear another word from me about it again.

Me: I need the money!  Maybe in two hours?

Spencer: word 😎! Well bundle up! You deserve it instead of worrying about Zscores and deviations! Ugh just thinking about it makes me want to 🤮

Me:  so true see you soon!

Bouncing my shoulders, he is absolutely right.  I don't want to cry over z-scores and standard deviations anymore. Don't even get me started on the bizarre symbolic equations accompanying it.

Professor Stencil's nefariously valley girl voice on lectures about mean, median, and mode jolted me up every time I closed my eyes. And her villainous statement about how I just needed to strive harder next semester mortified me.

As a tutor, I'm doomed. Last night, I wanted to suffocate myself with Conor and end everything, but I couldn't let Statistics ruin my life, at least not again.

Repulsively, I stayed up all night, creating this booklet of practice problems. Everything I battled with, I'm sure the person I was tutoring was battling with as well, with all the peculiar terminology. It took me a long time to understand the definition of inference because Statistics has its own unique concept of it.

Sleep-deprived and a boost of vanilla Starbucks coffee later, I work relentlessly on the booklet. I kept tossing the sheets away and starting over since the number ten didn't seem right. After a brief trip to Target with Max this morning, the booklet was done. Lexi said I was 'too involved,' but all I wanted was to make a good impression on my first day with the student I was tutori-.

Jaylan.

"Elizabeth, I want to talk to you about the birds and the bees," Maxine confesses and breaks through my thoughts.

My mouth gapes open to her terrifying statement as we stop at the stop sign. "Maxine!" I gasp.

"No, Lizzie, it's time," she shamefully admits and rubs her palm over her forehead.

I'm too tired for this.

"Maxine, I'm just tutoring him," I snicker.

"But, with him, it leads to sex," Maxine continues. "Always, he's just... that guy."

"He seems nice."

"That's how it starts."

"What happen to getting to know someone?"

"Can't you get to know Robert Quinton?" She whines.

"Max"I palm my forehead.

Trust me Robert Quinton is nice but from nerd to nerd. He is extra nerdy. Besides he got transferred to some prestigious school for cyber security I really believe he will be the future of home defense or something.

Max continues about how Jaylan only thinks with his penis and not his heart. That his penis is like a small magic wand, and he'll put me under a spell until I'm near brainless. She begins to tear up as she tells me how he will use magical Disney words to do it because I'm so innocent and kind.

She starts to go down a rabbit hole about how I'm too tiny and he would crush me with one thru-

"Max!"

"What?" She blinks at me a few times.

"Gosh I'm sorry, I just didn't think it would happen. I've just tried so hard to keep you away from him, Lexi too..." Max cries or -

Wait, is she crying? What's scary is that she is serious right now.

"I'm just going to have to supervise," Maxine faintly sighs.

"Maxine, it's okay, I'm a big girl." I giggle.

"I know, and it's sickening how adorably you just said that." She peeks over at me with an inverted smile.

"Maxine, you taught me everything I know. Don't worry" patting her knee.

"That's the bad thing I taught you all the bad things!" She defends.

"Told you not to say all those naughty things. You are feeding naughty Lizzie." I tease, watching her bite her finger nail probably regretting her Telenovela stories.

"You are two seconds away from me calling a Nunnery." She hinted.

"Whatever you say Max." Bouncing my shoulders at her having an internal meltdown believing Jaylan could actually do something to me.

But honestly, I don't think i'm his type considering impolite quesadilla girl hanging on him like a coat sleeve at work last Thursday.

"Lizzie, it's already started. Look at you!" Panic again fills Maxine's voice as her eyes shoot wide.

"What?" My lips curl up into a smile as she tucks her lip in and glances over at me with the same wide, unblinking eyes.

"I've already lost you!" she dramatically whines. "Your virginity is next!"

"Maxine," I sigh tolerantly.

She whimpers dramatically, and I pat her leg. "It will be alright." I comfort her.

"Bu-" Maxine picks up her phone to read a text that thankfully interrupts whatever this conversation is.

Her chest heaves and she growls under her breath. With a sharp crank of the steering wheel unexpectedly does a complete 180-degree turn in the middle of the intersection, causing me to panic and clutch the handle over my head.

"Max!"

"Sorry, Lizzie, " she apologizes. "My coach wants to speak with me."

Maxine values her basketball coach and anything she states is worth listening too. It matters to her considering her last basketball coach and trainer from Boston stirred her in the wrong direction.

Chris

"It's fine." I sigh deeply, swallowing my heart back down into my chest.

I lean my head on the passenger-side beam. My eyes begin to close gently with Max grumbling something about her coach is out of her mind if she thinks we have practice.

"How was your day?" I hum and shut my eyes.

"I had my internship at the school today," Max happily mentions.

This girl has an internal switch.

I snicker and shift, lifting my knees to cocoon myself. A tired yawn bubbles up as I assure her, "Maxine, you are going to be a great teacher."

"I hope so. This sixth grader told me I had a nice ass! A sixth grader!" Maxine admits, appalled. "He's like a future Jaylan!"

I giggle at her as she continues about how she explained to her students how to play dodgeball. She mentioned that the same flirty little sixth grader... not in her exact words but he threw the ball at her butt... Her voice fades out as I drifts off to sleep.

━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━

My eyelids flicker, causing me to shift my weight and snuggle into what was keeping me warm. I softly take a breath, opening my eyes fully and taking notice of Maxine's plush white North Face jacket. I comb my fingers through my hair as it's wildly sprawled in my face.

With a yawn, I stretch my limbs like a baby awakened from what felt like a three-hour nap. My eyes blink at the absolute whiteness that surrounds me, like Maxine parked her Jeep in the middle of a snowball. A few inches have accumulated on the front hood.

Shivering, I reach for the temperature gauge and turn it up higher. Another hand crank pushes the snow off the windshield. Within a few wipes, I gasp at the black sky that contrasts the white snow blanketing the ground and sidewalks.

how long was I sleeping? So much for sledding with Spencer.

I glance at the clock, and it is 5:58pm.

Wow, I slept for an hour and a half, and Maxine left me in the car!

I shake my head, recollecting the vast chain of events today.

I can't believe I'm tutoring Jaylan...

Oh my God... I'm tutoring Jaylan!

Why does the universe taunt me? I just want to have a simple, easy ride for the rest of the school year. Now, I have to tutor UMD's biggest heartthrob, who is inconsiderate of people's time.

But he is sooooo sexy. He looks at me like I look at strawberry cupcakes.

No, not when he doesn't value your time, Lizzie.

"But!" I blurt out, despondently sighing to myself.

I guess some people just aren't considerate of time. It's just time really matters to me, especially when I take the time to invest my efforts in a subject that I hate instead of sleeping. Mamá always told Mariana to never let a man waste her time twice when she was having trouble in paradise with her ex-fiancé.

Lizzie, you only meant him once, gez... and he opened a door for you, remember.

"He did," I admit.

After waiting for about an hour for Jaylan, I made up some time with my study group to do this concept map for clinicals with Spencer. It took me forever to teach someone who speaks better English than I how to pronounce Phenytoin. And for non medical students out there, it's a drug to prevent seizures.

I vented to Spencer how some people can just not care about other people's time. Spencer, siding with the defendant, said I may not know what they got caught up in. His entire argument changed when his eyes spoke a million ways to express jealousy of who was behind me.

Honestly, I get lost in those syrup brown eyes. The sight of him, muscular, inked arms crossed over his chest and standing with an adorable smile, I was surprised, flattered, captivated, nervous, curious, and a slew of other emotions.

I wanted him to speak but he did the same, leaving us both stubborn donkeys to make a move.

It was like he's formulating a hypothesis and figuring out the solution. He is good...

"Gosh, why!" I agonize.

I flick on the radio, switching stations as my eyes travel to see Jaylan playfully pushing Stephen Hollis in the arm. He flashes a smile while they hang out by his car. The snow softly covers his black Adidas hoodie on top of his head.

I stare, mesmerized, disappointed, curious, angry, frustrated, and captivated by his charm, persona, and rich, caramel looks. There is definitely something about tall guys with cute laughs and deep voices that I'm very attracted to. I press my thighs together at the strange feeling radiating up from between them when he shifts his body against his car.

He is my new favorite feeling.

I giggle, watching Birthday Boy throw a snowball right in his face, something I want to do myself for leaving me hanging like that! He coolly scoops some down, flashing me a view of his backside in the process, and perfectly throws it back with ease, getting Birthday Boy right in his chest. My heart is experiencing sinus bradycardia watching him flash his smile widely and flicker his eyes at the-

"¡Ay!" I squeak out.

My head swiftly drops to my legs like I'm bracing for an airplane crash, praying he doesn't catch me gawking at him like a fresh pitcher of Horchata.

I hope he didn-

A tap on the window causes me to slowly lift up my head. His beautiful syrup eyes are up close, peering in the window. My heart rate accelerates, getting dysrhythmic as he reveals that earth-shattering smile. I cover my face, shielding my eyes but his laugh tickles my ears and makes me peek through my fingers.

Please go away go away.

He taps the window again, this time with his tattooed knuckle. I tuck my bottom lip in and wind down the window gradually. He leans in close effortlessly, his elbows resting on the window seal.

"You spyin on me now beautiful?" I almost forget it's seventeen degrees outside because the warmth between us feels like we're below the equator. He's so close, I couldn't help but flicker my eyes down to his juicy.... Full... kissable, lickable, biteable lips.... It almost makes me want to.... No No No No.

I breathe out a chuckle and flick my eyes back at him, realizing he is closer. I purse my lips to the side as I fixate on his beard, which has sprinkled flurries on it. When my gaze flicks up to his, he's smugly smirking and licking his bottom lip.

"So, what were you going to say to me earlier?" His lips exhale a rich husk.

The cinnamon's breath wafts over me, giving me chills as it floods my nostrils.

Oh, his new name is cinnamon rolls.

I drop my eyes for a moment, and take in his hand that clutches his nearest elbow. For a man, his large hands are beautiful. My eyes travel up his neatly trimmed nails, long fingers, the dark ink painted beneath his skin around the curve between his index finger thumb, and large, protruding veins that run up his wrists like rivers and disappear into the cuffs of his hoodie.

"Make sure you do those problems," I offer, tilting my head. "So that I know you're serious."

Our eye contact is a work of art in itself. Warmth flows through me the longer I study the golden flecks that sparkle even in the early night sky. A white puff escapes into the chilly air as he lets out another crystalline chuckle, entangling me again in his cinnamon breath.

"I got you sweetheart." He confidently says, touching my cheek playfully. Unexpectedly, his touch is gentle, even with his prickly thumb.

Do it again.

He licks his lower lip at me again as if he wants to bite my baby cheeks like a grandma does to a fat baby. He rolls his tongue in the upper part of his lip, holding back a smile and I furrow my eyebrow trying to put on the best resting Max face.

"You-"

"Yo, let's go!" Another deep voice says in annoyance.

Jaylan turns around, nods his head up at whoever it was, and smiles back at me. Hope fills his voice as he asks, "I'll see you next Wednesday, right?"

Come on, Lizzie, speak up for yourself! Don't let his ho-

"Are you going to show up?" I challenge him, confidently arching my eyebrow.

He laughs as if it was a joke and licks his bottom lip again.  A flicker of guilt appears in his eyes and I want to believe he's genuine when he says, "I'm sorry beautiful, I-"

"Seriously, Parker! I will chop off your tiny dick and bury it in the snow if you don't stop humping the side of my Jeep!"

At my ginger knight and shining armor, Jaylan flashes me one last smile and turns around. Like he can't resist, he turns back, leans over, and looks me straight in the eyes.

The warm pulses between my legs return at the seriousness in his voice, like he's making me a promise. "I'll be there. I'm very serious, Lizzie."

Edited by: still_just_me