I missed her laugh.

"Jaylan, I'm going to get dizzy!" Lizzie giggles as I twirl her one more time, to get a full view of this outfit she has on.

Her laughter fills the gymnasium like a sweet lullaby to my ears. Lizzie's eyes sparkle at me as I let out a smile.

"One more time." I spin her again and she softly grunts but as I turn her around she has a full on smile.

The cotton candy storm maker never forces herself to look good, she just does. Currently dressed in a tight, black tube top with Terps right across her mangoes, my eyes drink in every inch in front of me. The glitter across her chest and small, gold hoop earrings highlight her honey skin in the gymnasium light but let's not forget my favorite part I missed for a whole month. 

"Jaylannn," Lizzie scolds softly as I cup my hands perfectly on her ass. With a quick kiss on her forehead, my nose engulfs vanilla, making my mind hazy.

I can't believe she is in my presence right now.

"Don't you have to get ready?" Lizzie quizzes, as her eyes flicker back and forth into mine.

Play holding my heart, I stumble as if it's an earthquake and she giggles, sinking her teeth in her lower lip. "The moment I see you, you are trying to get rid of me."

Maxine laughs as she fans out her hand, looking at her nails when she notices Marcus motioning her over on the court. She arches her brow at me and back at Marcus. She presses her lips and ignores him.

"Maxxxx," Lizzie scolds her.

"What? He can wait....Is he really calling me?" Maxine screeches. Shee huffs and pops up in her seat and goes down to Marcus, who is smiling from winning the quick feud.

Lizzie and I both laugh at the same time and exchange looks at each other. I take her hand and we sit down at the court side. She sits down on the chair, the plopping sound so sweet to my ears as I groan, sitting down and she giggles with a sparkle in her eye.

I wrap my around her chair and lean over to kiss her cheek. "It's really youuuuu."

"I'm actually a hologram." She giggles with her shoulders bumping, looking at me through her eyelashes.

Rubbing my chin, I could see a hint of pink blush creep up on her face. Silence takes over and the music still plays as people start to filter in. I had to sneak Lizzie in through the way I came because I just couldn't not see her. Especially all the Instagram posts she and Maxine were posting of best friend selfies. I know Maxine was bragging just because she could but I couldn't resist.

I had to see her.

"So, are you ready?" Lizzie takes my hand. Her hands feel softer than I remember, mine wrapping around hers, and I just don't want to let go.

Thumbing her hand, I don't lose my eye contact with her. "As ready as I'll ever be," I admit softly "But I'm so glad you are here, baby."

"I am too. It's been too long." She whimpers quietly, dipping her chin down. I take two fingers and lift it up.

"I know and it was honestly the hardest thing I've faced," I confess.

She lets out a soft smile as I thumb right across the right side of her face, and she tries to move because her eyes begin to tear up. "It was hard for me too." She whimpers softly.

"I know, but you know what I realized while I was gone?" I ask.

Her eyes sparkle, filling a lightness into my chest. "What?"

"I miss you, Big Butt and I think it got bigger," I joke, arching my brow.

She furrows her brows at me and I softly chuckle. "Jaylann."

The moment is perfect right now as soft music plays in the gymnasium and not as much noise. "I know I know, but seriously I realize how much I care a lot about you, baby. I wake up wondering what you're doing in the morning, or what you're doing before bed. I love hearing your sciencey brain, the way you crinkle your nose at me for doing bad things, how you kiss me, how you just are so trusting of me, how you honor my mom, you introduce me to your family... And..."

Cupping her chin, my thumb pad strokes across her soft, smooth skin, making it dip slightly. Our eyes meet and the shade of brown so beautiful dims in the light of the gymnasium. Her teeth sink into her lip slowly as I breath out softly. "It makes me realize how much I love you, Lizzie."

Relief flows instantly in my chest, as I felt pressure build up in me over the past couple of weeks of just thinking and processing on where I want to go with Lizzie. To love someone is scary to me, after all my failed attempts of relationships, losing my mom, and PJ not loving me. It takes a lot for me to just love and be vulnerable like that but I couldn't think of one woman I wouldn't love more than life besides my mom is Elizabeth Maria Lucero, who will soon be my wife.

"I love you, Elizabeth Maria Lucero," I recite.

She gasps softly, her eyes moving quickly searching mine in happiness. "I love you too, Jaylan." The confidence in her voice matches how her shoulders relax and chin lifts.

My jaw falls down playfully and she giggles, crinkling her nose and bumping her shoulder into mine. "Jaylann."

"You love a stuffed animal abuser?" I cackle, as she covers her face mumbling, 'oh no.'

"Oh yes." Still laughing, I lift her chin up and her eyes brighten.

Hard beats pound in my chest, surging my feelings through my veins like electricity. My eyes slide closed as I dip my head down, leaning down for our lips to meet when a piercing sound of a whistle bursts my eardrums.

"PARKER, GET OVER HERE! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOUR- Oh, hi Elizabeth."

Lizzie giggles as a few tears slip from her eyes. "Hi, Coach T!" She waves.

Laughing, I hang my head down low but relief feels so good in my chest. "I'm going to go now."

"I'll see you after the game." I stare deeply into her eyes.

"With the confetti kiss?" those lips whisper and fuck, I want a taste.

"With the confetti kiss," I promise, leaning in again.

"PARKER!"

🏀🏀🏀🏀

"Line your legs and feet up beneath your shoulders.... That's it Jay." Mom laughs.

"Here we go Terps! Here we go!" Cheers echo through the arena, in sync with music.

"Rebound by Snyder, KNOCK DOWN BY Ellis!!!! Wow WOW!"

"Keep your knees bent... a little bit.. Oh, honey, watch the bat." 

The crowd roars in cheers as Shawn jogs down the court and spins around, passing to Marcus. He jumps, making a clean shot.

"It's too hard, Mom."

"Hoover rebounds, goes down the court again, passes to Synder again, knocks away from Ellis again!" The announcer's excitement shouts through the arena.

"But I believe you baby... Here, look. Plant your back foot."

"Defense, Defense, Defense! Defense!"

"Stay loose and ready.... Relax, relax."

"Cross takes the rebound going down the court but stops short by Hoover, who now secures the ball. Hoover dribbling down the court oh wait... PLAY DESTROYED.... Parker secures the ball, moving full speed ahead down the court..." The announcer shouts.

I dribble as McCoy tries to block me. I step to the right and spin around to keep pressure down the court.

"Here... Oh, it's coming. Raise your arm, Jay."

The crowd roars, tightening my chest. Flashing lights flicker white spots into my eyes as the courtside photographers capture the moment about to happen. 

"Oh, Jay, here it comes. Here it comes." She laughs softly.

A smile pulls on my face and I lift my arms. The ball arches perfectly to the basket. The crowd goes silent as all I hear is Crisp Swish with the final buzzard.

"You did it Jaylan, you did it! I'm so proud of you! See, you just have to focus." She rubs and rattles my helmet.

The loud roars could probably be heard throughout the state of Indiana. I'm surprised I didn't hear Uncle Steve right now.

Oh SHIT. We just won.

"I love you, Jay."

"I love you, Mom."

We just won

We just won!

Fuck.

We fucking did it.

Damn.

Pointing up to the ceiling to thank my mom, I bend down, shutting my eyes as the memory continues.

"I'm so proud of you, Jay. We just have to keep practicing."

"Can we get ice cream?" I beam, bouncing up and down.

"Ice cream? We haven't had dinner, silly." She squats down, radiating her beautiful smile.

Hitching my breath, hot tears stream down my face as I keep my eyes shut. Thinking about how we ran down Federal Hill Park, racing each other to get back to Mom's car to see who would win tugs at my heart. The laughter of both of us caresses my chest, warming it up.

I will never forget that memory because she made me feel so proud of myself and not giving up on me. 

"THE MARYLAND TERPS PULLED IT OFF, NEW CHAMPIONS OF THE NCAA TOURNAMENT! WHAT A GAME!" the announcer cheers along with the crowd going absolutely nuts. Howls and screams rain down on us. The sound of the arena thundering pierces my ear drums as my eyes squeeze tighter.

A massive impact on my body, like I got hit by a truck, knocks me out of memory... My brothers are surrounding me in victory and excitement, bouncing on their toes around me. Hand after hand palms my back and shoulders.

"WE FUCKING DID IT" Marcus shouts, over the loud crowd.

"WE DID IT!" Hollis pounces on me.

"I can't believe it!" Shawn exclaims, letting out a ragged breath. "You did it, Jaylan."

"No, no we did it," I rasp.

Coach T comes over and joins us, shouting and cheering with the announcer's excitement about the best bracket-breaking team in NCAA history.  My eyes open and in the midst of the Maryland side, body after body jumping up and down. My attention draws to the little confetti kiss girl right in her seat, holding up her sign and bouncing on her heels. Her fingers point at her poster showing all the memories of me as a little kid.  All those photos were my motivation tonight. Little did Lizzie know each memory was a good one and it kept me in a good head space.

"WE DID IT!" Jordy repeats, his eyes wide with his hands over his head. 

A smile pulls on my face as roaring cheers pierce my ears. Sweaty bodies surround me but I push through them. My main goal is to get to Lizzie. I need to touch her, hold her, speak to her, be with her in this moment. 

The jumbotron flashes Champions, making me laugh at the reality that it just fucking happened. I know Uncle Steve probably broke his chair right now.

Poor Aunt Lisa.

"We did it, we did it man!" Marcus tightly grips me.

Holding onto him, I don't lose my gaze on Lizzie, who is covering her mouth with tears in her eyes in pride. I take two fingers, kissing them, sending it right to her, and winking. Her face gets pink while Maxine smiles down at her. Ginger Demon looks at me with pressed lips but she is happy for us. 

Maxine and Lizzie begin to walk down the stairs as people move up or around people in shock being seen on the jumbotron. The jumbotron shows highlights at Buffalo Wild Wings, Terrapins Terf, CP Looneys, and just around Maryland people celebrating the big win.

We did it.

Testudo does a dance along with pom pom demons, trying to close in on us, but I shift a bit to back up a bit. Ava catches sight of me, giving a faint smile as she twirls her pom poms while cheering. She shifts closer, trying to get a photo op, but I maneuver around her. It's an easy, long step because she is in crutches. 

"Jaylan"  Ava softly says, reaching out to me. I shake my head no and she looks down at her feet. Looking away, she tracks everyone else's movements but keeps glancing back at me.

I avert my eyes and look at Hollis, who is completely all smiles with wide eyes. "We did it!"

"We fucking did it," I breathe, my chest shaking on the exhale.

"YESSSS!" Xavier shouts, throwing his hands in the air.

"No more whistle!" Jordy praises loudly, clasping his hands together.

Jordy's choice of victory song begins with All Me by Drake. He been on a fucking Drake kick for about two weeks now. As the guys become more hyped up by Jordy leading the dance and mouthing the words, I just shake my head.  Marcus hypes him up, bouncing his head and I chuckle, keeping my laser focus on Lizzie. Her eyes pull wide, marveling at the chaos around the area as Big Red tugs her down the stairs.

My heart tugs because she missed half of the weekend. A bittersweet reality stings but it definitely changed me to humble myself when it comes to loving someone and sacrificing for them.

Reporters bum rush me and I respond with minimal answers to the mics and cameras pushed in my face. My eyes can't get off Lizzie who is nearly inches from me. Lizzie and Maxine get stopped by security, who shakes his bald head no at them. I jog over quickly, picking up my pace with each step because I don't want the Confetti Kiss Association Founder to miss her opportunity because they are getting ready for it to drop. 

"I'm sorry but you guys can't come on the floor. You have to have special access passes," the security says, with Lizzie's smile fading even though she can't see me.

"Do you not know who I am? I won last night," Maxine reminds again.

"I know, congratulations, but we have to secure the area to switch the staging and confetti coming down any minute," the security guy remains firm, sticking a muscular bicep in their path.

Maxine grumbles, throwing her hands in the air. I hear Lizzie whimper, which pains my heart and I clear my throat. "It's alright, they are both with me," I say deeply, Lizzie eyes lift up and she bounces on her heels, looking at me.

The security guard widens his eyes and he lets out a smile. "Congratulations. Sorry, I didn't know."

"Thank you." I pat his shoulder. "Could you let them both through?"

"Oh, yes of course." He nods quickly, dropping his arm.

Lizzie and I's eyes lock as the security guard moves out the way. Maxine puts her hand on the security guard's shoulder "For the record, she's with him, not me," she says snarky.

Breathing a chuckle, I laugh and catch Lizzie's mid-run. My hands cup the curve of her waist and I pick her up, spinning her around. Letting the sweet giggles fill my ears, the sound warms up my already hot body. 

"It's overrrrrr!" I say, as I spin her around again. She tips her chin down, strands of her long, black hair trailing her spins. The rest of the arena blurs as I turn faster, making her giggles rain down on me like music.

I missed that sound.

Maxine makes a playful gagging noise, shoves me in congratulations, and sashays over to Marcus. I catch sight of him waiting for her to come to him with a smug grin.

Lizzie steals my attention when she wraps her tiny legs around my waist. Her thighs squeeze my waist, her arms koala hugging me tightly, and - in the second best part - her mangoes smash right in my chest.

Fuck I miss this.

She rocks her body back and forth like she is squeezing me like one of her stuffed animals. I laugh softly and my thumb strokes the side of her face. She flicks her eyes back and forth at mine. 

"I'm so proud of you Jaylan!" she beams, flopping the poster around.

"Thank you," I rasp.

Leaning down, I go to lean in for her lips but she averts them playfully, making me groan and kiss her anyway. My lips peck hers like a chicken, each one lingering longer than the one before because I can't get enough of the warm, smooth skin where those dimples live. Her laughter echoes through the gym, making my heart swell full and want to explode in my chest.

Pressing my sweaty forehead against hers, I get lost in her beautiful, gingerbread eyes all over again. My teammates and white camera flashes blur into the background, ruckus noises fade into hums, and I caress her soft cheeks. My fingers almost melt at the touch because it's been so long.

"Jaylan, your mom is so proud of you," she rasps, with tears in her eyes. The sight of them makes me want to sweep them away but her words make my own tears well up, blurring Lizzie.

"Thank you," I strain out, blinking my eyes to fight the tears.

"Believe it," she assures me.

Her eyes wander into mine and I get lost in hers. Time freezes as I cradle her in my arms, one hand cupping her ass. Little flurries of confetti of red, yellow, black, and white come flowing down, fluttering and blanketing Lizzie's hair like the snowflakes on our ice-skating date. A few stick to my sweaty shoulders and sides of my face, tickling my skin but I laugh when one lands right on the tip of her nose and she crinkles it.

Tipping her head back, Lizzie's full lips round into an 'o' shape and her eyes light up. I mimic her as if she's a little kid.

Leaning my head up, she wraps her hands around my neck. When our lips meet, it almost feels like eternity.

It's so long overdue, my mind can't wrap around what I'm feeling other than one single word...

Finally.

Cupping her face, her lips hungrily press into mine. I part mine, pressing back and I deepening our kiss, tasting every bit of her tropical flavored Chapstick. She tastes like pure sugar and feels better than I remember, and not just my lips covering hers.

Lightness fogs my brain as I kiss the woman I love harder. Her tiny hands cradle my face as I adjust her around my waist, gripping my hand on her lower back and pulling her flush. She's practically weightless but this tiny, beautiful woman is the only thing keeping me grounded.

She hums as she slowly pulls away pressing her forehead against mine. "You did it, Jaylan."

"I did it," I pluck some confetti off her head, collecting it in my palm. Knowing Lizzie, she'll want to keep at least one of every color.

I plant a gentle kiss on her lips and lean in closely to the shell of her ear. Over her shoulder, my eyes catch sight of Testudo jogging over to Lizzie and I. He gives us both high fives and rubs a big hand over Lizzie's hair. She giggles and taps its nose.

In a move I didn't expect, Testudo unmasks himself, revealing it to be Hollister boy. Lizzie gasps, looks at me, and tucks herself closer.

Hollister boy half-smiles, sweat clinging his hair to his forehead, and looks down and back at me. "Congratulations."

"Thanks" Nodding at him, he tucks his head back on. Pointing at the both of us, he runs back in the crowd. Lizzie's lips stay parted open as she watches his retreat.

"Did you know?" I arch my brow at her.

Lizzie shakes her head. "No, I didn't. I had no idea," she says, watching Testudo, well, Hollister boy, doing the nae nae dance with Jordy. I'm a bit shocked he is Testudo but that turtle's interest in Lizzie actually starts to make sense now. He probably was just looking out for her protectively.

Lizzie wiggles her shoulders in rhythm, almost wanting to join in the fun. "Want to dance?"

"I thought you would never ask." She lets go of her death koala grip, sliding down my chest, and gets down. She clasps her tiny, smooth hand into mine, grabbing a handful of confetti collecting on my shoulder and putting the souvenir in my other hand.

I playfully dance our way to everyone else, who are forming a half-circle around the floor. Looking down, I cackle at Jordy making confetti angels. Confetti sticks all over him, including a few places he'll be digging out later.

I'm happy for him. He deserves this.

We all deserve this.

This celebration is not just because we won but it shows how much we can endure hard shit. Every game we pushed, pushed passed our limitations and pain. 

Tonight, I tried not to let my mom's death be the main source of this game but I played remembering how she encouraged me to keep trying to hit the ball. She never gave up and when I finally got it she was so proud of me. I just felt like I could hear her say it over and over again.

I just wish she was here tonight.

My eyes shift as I see Jordy and Xavier pick up the orange water jug, knowing exactly where that's going to empty.  Lizzie's long black hair catches my attention as I watch her spin confetti, gazing around in awe.

"Gatorade timeeee!" Jordy and Xavier hoot, holding up the big orange container right above Coach T's sweaty head.

"Don't Don't Don't Don't Don't!" The sound of the splash right over Coach's head makes Lizzie giggle, vibrating my chest.

"Lizzie, you want a photo?" Maxine teases, pulling Marcus by the hand. By his big ass smile, he knows he is going to get a celebratory gift.

Lizzie hands her phone to Maxine, who presses her lips playfully. Marcus wraps his sweaty arms around Maxine's waist, towering over her and she grumbles under her breath.

A few cameramen bystanders halt, gawking at Lizzie's ass as she bends over to pick up a few more confetti pieces, putting them in her pocket. Blocking their view, I glare at them and they cup their hand on the side of their face. 

Yeah, walk away.

"I don't have all day," Maxine reminds, breaking Lizzie and I's exchange.

"Maxine, I hope you know there is a new behavior system," Lizzie claps back.

Maxine clenches her jaw but couldn't help but smile. I scoop Lizzie up bridal-style, cupping one hand behind her knees, and she giggles as I grip the other hand tight on her conga drum. We pose a few times and what feels like sixty photos later, Maxine hands Lizzie back her phone.

"We have to call Aunt Lisa and Uncle Steve." Lizzie beams as she holds up her phone. Confetti is officially covering both of us like we'd done our own confetti angles, which I have to say it's a bit of sensory overload.

But this moment has been worth every moment leading up to it.

Lizzie's phone rings and she is bouncing on her heels. I couldn't help but place another kiss on her cheek. It is so warm, just like I remember, soft and squishy.  Aunt Lisa connects the phone and smiles really big at the both of us.

"Jayyyyyyyyy! Hi Elizabeth, did you have a safe flight?" Aunt Lisa coos loudly.

Lizzie nods with a big smile and pats the side of my face.

I really want to turn that into a dirty joke but I'll tread lightly. "We did it. Is Uncle Steve okay?"

"He is recovering." She shifts the phone to see Uncle Steve with an ice pack on his bald head. I cackle, throwing my head back because I see the busted chair is not just tipped over but officially broken.

A snort leaves me and Lizzie nudges me to be kind.

"Thank you, Lizzie." Aunt Lisa looks directly at Lizzie for affirmation.

She nods happily and she smiles at the camera. "I am so proud of you, Jaylan," Aunt Lisa says.

"I am very proud too, I wear a size four-XL," Uncle Steve chimes.

"I don't think they make them that big '' I tease.

"Jayy," Aunt Lisa corrects.

Jordy puts a hat on my head, matching one he's wearing, and laughs. He places one on Lizzie's head but it's like four times bigger, making her unable to see because of the bill of the hat.

"Jordy!" Lizzie whines with a laugh, taking it off her head.

"Congratulations Jordy!" Aunt Lisa beams.

"Thank you." He beams and skips away. I shake my head as he starts dancing with the guys on the court in front of the camera. Shaking my head, Aunt Lisa smiles again. "I'll let you celebrate. Be safe!"

"Oh he will, I'm the safety police," Lizzie boasts.

I suck my teeth and both my two favorite girls furrow their brows at me.  "Behave, Jaylan. I love you," Aunt Lisa says.

"Love you!" Uncle Steve says happily in the background, ice pack and all.

"I love you both." I press end and playfully grasp Lizzie's waist, making her giggle.

"Jaylannnn."

"Lizzieee."

She looks up at memorizing my face as I'm doing the same. The familiar heat between us ignites my skin more. I touch the side of her face, stroking my thumb over her dimple and lean down, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I love you"

She covers her mouth and giggles, her eyes shining over her fingers. "I love you too."

"I don't think I can ever get tired of say-"

Jordy wraps his sweaty arm around my neck and I cringe but chuckle at the same time. "Yo, Jay come on! They are about to give the tro-" Jordy stops in mid-excitement, looking at his long-lost twin.

Lizzie waves at Jordy and Jordy takes Lizzie, picking her up and spinning her around, making her giggle. "Jordy you are going to make me dizzy."

"I missed youuu!" he sings, spinning her one last time.

"Alright alright," I protectively say, as his hand slips, touching her stomach.

Lizzie sinks her teeth in her lower lip and motions her eyes back and forth at both of us. "Go go get the trophy you've earned."

I give her one last glance and she motions her hand to go. Jordy and I jog over as Mark Emmert, President of the NCAA comes over with the most beautiful trophy I've set my eyes on and wanted to hold since I was sixteen. More confetti comes down like snow flurries but in full force, blurring the air around us. I keep my eyes on Lizzie, who's watching me in pride as the confetti covers her hair.

"We are proud to announce the head of the basketball commitment to the University of Maryland Terps,'" Mark Emmert hands me the trophy. I make sure everyone is able to touch it and lift it above my hand. The fans cheer loudly and white flashes snap as we hold it up in victory.

Victory that, with everything we have been through, has not been in vain or without cause. All the pain we endured we played on the court and came out on the winning end.

As reporters flood the area, I make my way back to Lizzie. She's taking photos with Maxine and I tap her on the shoulder. 

"Are you ready to get out of here?" I arch my brow at Lizzie.

"You have interviews to do. captain." Maxine presses her lips.

"And get Uncle Steve shirts and his souvenirs." Lizzie traces her finger on my jersey numbers, hypnotizing me.

I suck my teeth and Lizzie giggles. "It's okay, Jaylan. We will meet you at dinner."

"But-"

"It's okay," she assures, sparkling her eyes at me.

"But I want to be with you."

"Ugh, Jaylan let her breathe. We will see you later." Maxine clasps Lizzie's hand.

Her eyes still sparkle, radiating an emotion I haven't seen before. Specs of gold glisten in the light make me want to get up closer, enticing me to look deeper.

"I'll see you later," Lizzie softly says, giggling.

My heart tugs because I literally only had seconds with her. "I'll see you later."

I lean over and plant a soft kiss on her cheek and she leans in. Her whispered words shoot straight through me, "I brought the dress."

My eyes widen and she lets out the sweetest belly laugh. I arch my brow. "And the heels?"

"Mmm-hmm," she hums.

I lick my bottom lip and she sinks her teeth in her lower lip. I arch my brow again and she mimics back. Maxine tugs on her hand and as she walks away with an extra swish Before my eyes drop down to the best ass in the world, she glances over her shoulder, giving me heated eye contact.

I know she has something up her sleeve.

And I'm ready.

Edited and spiced still_just_me