I peek up at Marcus's window, watching him and Fireball smooch their faces off, after a long night of me overhearing the two of them go at it like rabbits since Friday.

Damn, he is getting more action than I've had in a week. Hollis is too. Shit even Jordy! What the fuck is happening? Maybe I should hit up Ava tomorrow?

Scrolling through my phone to look her up, Jordy's off tune humming to New Flame by Chris Brown and Usher catches me off guard.

"Baby baby, baby baby, let's make what we got here last forever." Jordy sings.

I throw my head back and cackle as he attempts to dance off our porch stairs like Usher in the video.

"Stupid." I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye.

Jordy twirls gracefully, stumbling slightly at the end. "Don't be jealous of my dance skills."

"Right." I give him a stupid fucking around look.

"She is still here." Jordy points at Ginger snaps Barbie Jeep parked croaked and dangerously close to Marcus car. Door to Door pretty much as close as it is.

"You didn't hear them last night?" I groan.

Jordy cocks his brow,"Here what?"

It's no surprise that he was likely immersed in Fortnite with those massive headphones on, blasting his eardrums. He'll probably be deaf by the time he hits forty.

"Those two were fuckin like they were going to die today." I yawn and stretch.

Last night, I walked into their heated conversation upstairs about how much they despised each other. I wasn't sure why she came all the way over here to tell him that but the deathmatch got intense walking past their room.

I thought she left, or Marcus was knocked unconscious, when it got a little too tranquil. Yet, I spoke too soon. Just when I was flopping onto my bed and trying to get some sleep when Boston's local singer began howling..... Till three fucking a.m

I was desperate for a good night's sleep, mainly because I knew workouts with Coach were exhausting for our upcoming match-up with Michigan State.

After the last loud gasp from Ginger Demon, I finally shut my eyes at three fifty. But my own mind began to deceive me, stirring up my soul on an impossible fantasy of a sweet doe face with the poutiest lips. It almost felt real, bucking my hips into the plump ass of hers. The long raven hair tangled in my fingers. The sound of skin slapping balls slap against her ass. It felt so real, so raw only to wake to a morning wood this morning.

Damn if only.

"Does he know his window is wide open like that," Jordy chuckles and gets into my car.

"They know, and they have no shame," I groan, shaking my head and watching the two fall onto his bed.

"She is going to get pregnant." Jordy shoulders bounce.

"I'll put in a wage."I type in our group chat immediately on wages on Marcus being a baby daddy before the NBA.

Me: my wage on Marcus is bout 250 right now for him becoming a sperm donor

Multiple likes including Jordy in our basketball group chat go off a mile a minute.

Marcus is a goner. But I'm glad because he was getting on my nerves last week, moping around like a lost puppy without his fireball.

Jordy clicks in his seatbelt. "I thought they hated each other."

I chuckle,"You would think." Clicking in my seatbelt.

"I mean the way they were at each other at the club was like Love and Hip Hop."

I cackle, throw my head back my seat "right."

Marcus tried to convince himself, and me, that Faith is the one, not Ginger Demon. Guess he didn't know how good he had it until she was gone. Kudos to him because relationships are not for me. Consistency guaranteed pussy aside, it's too much work, honestly.

As I start my car, my gaze is drawn to Jordy, who is fondling a familiar girly butterfly clip and clipping it to his freshly buzzed fade.

"Yo, the hell." I laugh at his childish antics. Jordy's child-like persona never ceases to entertain.

"I want to know the story." Jordy rubbing his hands together like he is about to get the best tea of his life but unfortunately ain't nothing happen.

I wish it did.

"Give me that!" I yank the clip from his head, making him cringe like a wimp "ouch jaylan, the fuck"

"You'll break it." I slant my eyes and clip the hair accessory above me.

"Someone got lucky last night," Jordy smile curls up to the side.

"I didn't."

"Yeah okay." He mocks.

I chuckle softly as silence takes over the car but Jordy can't help himself "Soooooooo." Jordy drags playfully.

My jaw tenses,"Soooooo nothin."

Jordy smile widens causing me to breath a chuckle.  "I'm waitinggg"

"On God nothin happen." I adjust my seat leaning back in the car. The Gold clip reflects on the windshield. 

This hair clip definitely suits her personality. It's porcelain, gold and glitters. It's very vintage, something probably her mom or grandma might have given her. It magnifies her joy, innocence, and lightens the life she brings.

My grandmother said once, when butterflies fly around you, they are approving your actions and that you are on the right path.

"So we just going to pretend that there is a girl item on your dashboard." Jordy mentions.

"It's nothin." I sigh deeply remembering grandma sitting in her small backyard pointing at the tiny butterfly saying it was my mom saying hello.

"Come onnnnn, I need a story time." Jordy whines.

"Nah, it was even like that," I correct him.

"Most be if she left her clip in your car." He touche's me.

"Nah."  I chuckle, ignoring his question and pulling out of the parking space finally. Not even four minutes down the road, he huffs like a kid, not knowing the surprise.

"You cappin because I know for a fact, Ava didn't leave with you last night," he investigates and flicks on my radio as if it was his.

"What are you the Feds?"Turning out of street.

"Somebody has to be with your lifestyle." Jordy teases.

"Shut up." My eyes slant, processing how he touches my radio, knowing my car rules since eleventh grade.

"It's a hair clip; I know you are just bubbling over to spill," He eggs on, bopping his head to the chorus, 'Fuck up some commas.'

"Nothing happened," I genuinely confess.

As much as I wanted to have that trip to sonic. Man, I wanted her to try sour slushie just to see her face twist-up cutely.

Damn, what the fuck am I saying.

"I'm your best friend. Have I ever blabbed?" Jordy nags.

I cut my eyes at him as he cockily reveals his perfect white teeth. You can't tell Jordy anything without someone finding out. And the last person I want to find out is Ava. He is worse than Donkey from Shrek; you can't tell him a secret to save his life.

"Right," I clip.

"Come onnnnn," he tosses his head back and dramatically begs, just like Donkey.

"Her name is Elizabeth," I surmised his anxiousness.

"Wait, wait... Maxine's fine-ass friend with the big booty. The one she swore to cut your sack off." He laughs.

"Yes," gritting my teeth, changing lanes to get into the fast lane.

"In your car?" he deadpans.

"Yes," I stress, trying to pass a slow-ass car.

"Damn, and you got head?" he tests.

"You want to walk to Baltimore City?" I remind him.

He chuckles, throwing his hands in the air. "So, how do you manage that?" he continues.

I grumble because I think between him and Donkey, Jordy is winning. "She was going to walk across campus to get to her dorms at night," I hinted, slowing up the gas as all the cars ahead are hitting their brake lights.

Why fuck is there traffic on a Saturday?

"She doesn't drive?" Jordy astonishingly asks.

"I don't know her life like that," I sarcastically joke.

He throws back his head and lets out one of his contagious laughs. "Well, I'm sure it was great, her lips-" he stops himself.

"I will pull this car over right on ninety-five," I give my final warning.

"I'm messin, I'm messin," he surrenders and tosses up his hands.

"Plus, she is going to tutor me in Statistics."

"Right, tutor. What's the probability you will get in her pants?" He mocks with a chuckle. "One in Fifty?"

Jordy flies forward as I brake check him. He sucks his teeth, and I smugly grin. "You were saying?"

Jordy sucks his teeth, "You play to much." He groans, bending down and snatching the white cheddar Cheez-It box.

"Don't be nosy."

He shoves a couple Cheez-It's in his mouth. "I have to be, I'm your best friend."

"That is true but you just being nosy."

"So, what you know about this Elizabeth?" Jordy mimics a therapist, puffing out his chest.

I know he won't give it up. "I have no idea."

"Uh huh," Jordy hums and writes on his phone as if he is taking notes or he actually might.

I actually want to know a lot about Elizabeth for some reason.

She is mysteriously beautiful and different.

I chuckle, rubbing my hands down my face at Jordan's humor. "She is a nursing student," I smile, actually acknowledging a connection.

"You know what they say... I mean, that's different," Catching himself, he shoots me a side eye look with a lopsided grin.

"Right, she has something going for her. It's attractive," I admit.

"Which not all jersey chasers d-.. not all girls do here on campus." He sheepishly finishes but shuts up.

"Pushin' it," I threaten, switching lanes and swearing quietly because the traffic stop was only so people could spy on an accident in the south-bound lanes.

"Is that all you know?" He tosses a Cheez-It in his mouth.

"I mean, she holds her own, from what I've observed," I mused.

He hums and crunches down another Cheez-It. I dip my hand in the Cheez-Its box, tossing one in my mouth.

"Think she can handle King Kong." He talks with his mouth full, sending a few bits of Cheez-its onto his chest.

I laugh cockily at the childhood team nickname that's carried over to the team.

"What else?" He seeks, smacking his lips after now sipping on some glacier freeze flavored Gatorade.

"She definitely from another country," I arrogantly remark.

A boyish grin spreads across my face thinking about how fucking hot it would be to hear her call me Papi one day. I can see it now, me kissing and sucking on her neck, pulling sweet prayers out of her lips and begging 'mas por favor Papi'

I have a Spanish kink I didn't know about..

I shake my head and realize I'm sitting with Jordy.

"I thought that, but I didn't want to seem racist," he mentions, shifting his hands back and forth.

I slant my eyes and look at him for a second. "I swear, Jordy," I laugh at him.

"What," he says cluelessly.

I smile at his goofy wits and take the exit onto Interstate six ninety five finally. Jordy and I are finally collaborating with our old high school teammates to play ball this weekend at the YMCA, our old stomping grounds. When he first mentioned it, I shut him down because sometimes going home was painfully hard. While some people would love to be in my situation living, forty five minutes away from home, I feel like it wasn't far enough. After Jordy's desperate pleas for yes out of me, I finally caved when he mentions having a team dinner like old times.

In those old times, while everyone was laughing around the table, I couldn't fully embrace it, worrying about what I didn't have. A family.

What does family mean to me? Well, I'm still trying to figure that out. If I could be honest with myself, I desired a family but I'm just too afraid if I accept it, then it breaks immediately like the first time. I don't understand why I don't deserve a family.

I didn't ask for this.

"MANNNN, your Aunt Lisa's crabcakes, are calling my name and the Mac and Cheese," Jordy preaches, clapping his hands together.

I chuckle at his giddiness, raving about the perfect combination seasoning Aunt Lisa uses. I never understood why Jordy loved my family so much when he had a loving mother and father. Sure, they are divorced, but they work as a team and do whatever they can to support Jordy. So why was he so engrossed in mine?

I take the exit off 695 and Jordy perks up in his seat. "It feels soooo good" He shakes his fist proudly.

I nod in agreement while pulling up to the YMCA.

"Yo, look at Big Mike thooo," Jordy roasts, grinning from ear to ear.

His excitement is infectious, and I mimick it back with a cheesy smile. The old team huddles around Malik's sissy lime green mustang. I park closely, gently tapping the bumper to be obnoxious. Jordy hops out of the car and daps everybody animatedly.

I slide out on my side out the driver's side and shut the door.

"KING KONG!!!!" Jahday hypes me up.

I let out a laughing sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. "What's up, dark knight," I greet my childhood friend Jahday, connecting my hand to his.

All of us welcomed each other with roast when my eyes spotted a familiar old blue honda Sante Fe.

"Yo, when one of y'all get drafted, make sure you get coach a new vehicle." My other childhood friend Malik cringes while Uncle Steve pulls up next to us.

Uncle Steve comes out ready to play, which develops a roast out of us at his outfit of the day. His old coach's shirt with bleach stains stretches across his stomach and long, blue jersey shorts hang off him. His socks are up so high, they can touch his chin. He knew it was coming, welcoming his hands in on the roast.

"Alright, alright," calming us down.

"Coach Steve!" Jordy flails his arms around Uncle Steve.

Uncle Steve shakes his head at Jordy's high-spirited energy. "Jordy, you are always on a hundred," Uncle Steve crabs, making us all laugh.

"Try living with him," I add.

We laugh, walking inside the Y. Women's eyes laser in on us as we walk to the basketball court inside. I usually would feed into it, but my mind is elsewhere on a raven-haired woman.

I'm wondering what Elizabeth could possibly be doing on this Sunday evening. She's probably sprawled out over her bed, reading all those nursing books, teething her pencil while wearing nothing but a short shirt with her ass peeping out.

Fuck.

I discreetly adjust this growing erection, averting my attention to my friends.

"Old fashion dribble, knock out?" Big Will suggests.

"As long as you don't knock me out, I got to play against Michigan." Jordy gives the dry punchline.

Big Will sucks his teeth and chuckles the ball at his chest.

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

Masculine laughter fills the Park Heights row home from all of us sitting around the dining room table with bloated stomachs from Aunt Lisa throwing down in the kitchen. Aunt Lisa gets up, collecting some of our plates. I stand up and take a few from her. She shoos me by smacking my hand, but I chuckle, ignoring her hospitality.

"Jaylan, you don't have to." She tries to send me away.

"Aunt Lisa," I warn her, taking the dishes out of her hands.

She follows me in the kitchen on my heels. I turn on the warm water and put the stopper in. Washing dishes was always my outlet to opening my heart. It was the way to connect to my heart when my mom knew I was upset after she attempted to invite PJ over for dinner.... Expectantly, he would never show up, leaving us always dinner for two.

I wish she never gave him so many chances.

Aunt Lisa laughs, putting her hands on her hips, watching me start the dishes, and judging my technique.

"College sure has changed you." She cringingly confesses.

"I've learned," I arrogantly reply.

"I see that." She beams and joins me, rinsing the dishes while I wash.

"Aunt Lisa, come on, you have done enough," I take the dish out of her hands. She huffs, stomping her foot, and I teasingly do it back.

"College hasn't changed your stubbornness," she remarks, ignoring my command.

The silence speaks for itself while we communicated through washing dishes. It's not an awkward silence, just comfortable. Interestingly, the heart understands each other in silence. I choose to live in silence because, in silence, I find no rejection.

"What's on your mind?" Aunt Lisa begins drying off a dish.

I bite my lip, resting a dish in the suds. "I messed up." I disclose, handing her another dish.

"How?"

"With PJ," I quietly profess.

I waited for a disappointed sigh, but she grips my arm to comfort me. "What happened Jaylan?" She hushes her voice.

I turn to see through the doorway Uncle Steve trying to do a tik Tok with Jordy and Big Will. I chuckle at his poor coordination and turn back to look down at Aunt Lisa.

"I just got myself in another web," I bright to light, slumping my shoulders.

"Jaylan," she softly coos my name, tenderly rubbing my arm up and down.

"I know, I know. I came back to give the rest of PJ's money. I'm not doing it anymore," I assured with my famous sentence, repeating myself like a broken record.

"Jaylan, you know better," she affirms with love in her voice.

"I know," I utter, handing her another dish.

"If you know, then do it," she prompts with her eyebrow raised at me.

"I don't know what I was thinking," I admit, knowing that deep down, I could make him proud of me.

She sighs sorrowfully. "Jaylan, don't let him have power over you,"

"I wish I could," my voice cracks. Her words are so simple but easier said than done.

"It may take time, but you can, Jaylan."

My throat burns from her words, straining back the overwhelming sensation to cry. I clear my throat, dipping another plate into the less soapy, lukewarm water. Aunt Lisa's tough love hits deep, but it is a necessity for my life because if I don't have it, then I will never grow. She rips my heart out and puts it back together so I can learn to be a better man.

"Jaylan, you know I'm proud of you." She smiles through her words.

"There is nothing to be proud of," I brush her words off and look down at the murky water that reminds me of the path of my life currently.

"Jaylan, it takes a lot of courage to push through hard times. Never give up, honey. Good things are coming your way," she concludes. Her final remarks wash over me like a strong wind shaking and trying to uproot the pain and grief that ties me down.

"I love you." Aunt Lisa wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me into her to hold me like I'm eleven again.

"I love you too," I quietly whisper.

The guys immaturely coo, and I shoot them a look. Before I could get the last word, my phone goes off repeatedly. This better not be Ava. I grumble, reading my screen. I cockily smile at the unexpected text from Maxine.

Ginger Demon: whatever you saw or heard, keep your mouth shut!

I lean my butt against Aunt Lisa's counters and grin down at someone's secret.

Me: Of course. Hey, can you tell Lizzie she left her hair clip in my car, and I'll give it to her on Wednesday. I'll be happy to give her a ride after our session too.

Ginger Demon: You are dead, Parker, when I see you!

I grin arrogantly.

Me: You mind giving me her number?

Ginger Demon: 💣 💣 💣 💣 💣

My mouth gapes open when I see the attached contact.

Lizzie Wizzie 💃🏽🍭🧁

My eyes laser in on Maxine's choice of photo of her and Lizzie, with green face masks all over their faces. I want my own picture with her. I deleted her girly contact name and change it to my own.

Ginger Demon: you can only text her for school!

Me: what about Sonic?

Ginger Demon: 🤬🤬🤬

I text Lizzie right away with the biggest grin on my face.

Me: Stirred the pot a little but see you Wednesday!

The three dots automatically begin from her typing but disappear. I let out a chuckle.

Lizzie: That's if I make it to see Wednesday!

Edited by still_just_me