It's been one post day of ten years without my mom and I still feel like shit.

Last night, sleeping with the beautiful, wild bed partner with no action, she once again allowed me a free space to just let go. I thought I got it all out, crying after the game and last night, but she told me you can't just be sad for one day.

On the ride back here, I could feel my eyes blur up passing by the old Mom and Pop restaurant mom and I would go to after our trips to Hershey Park because she would get free tickets from work and we would have Mom and Jaylan Day, riding all the rides with no lines to wait.

My heart sank when passing the great bear roller coaster and remembering how Mom lost her favorite pair of sunglasses but some nice guy found them and gave them back to her.

Nathan.

He actually followed us around after that, which, not going to lie, I was an ass towards him for trying to take our time away but Nathan turned out to be a cool guy, better than PJ.

He would come see Mom and I every weekend just to spend time with us like a family. Sadly, it ended after Thanksgiving the year before she passed.

Pj never raised me to show grief or a hint of weakness because it's just not what men do but when I saw how Uncle Steve cried and Nathan cry, why couldn't I cry too.

Nathan promised me if there was anything I needed to just let him know and PJ did not like that. I wish Nathan would have kept up with his promises. I'm curious how he is doing after all these years too and if he feels the heartbreak of her no longer here.

I sigh, looking up at the overcast blueish grey skies that mirror how I feel inside, a little bit of sun but still cover with grey clouds.

Lizzie says partly cloudy days are the best days because the sun continues to shine no matter what the clouds try to cover up.

Why do her words prick my soul, like she's going to break all these walls?

The fact I've known this girl for one month now doesn't seem real.

Yeah, a month. It's wild to think about. Surprisingly, she hasn't made any sort of celebration about it. She's shown me nothing but just what true, pure intentions are really like. I'm aware, painfully, that the first girl I meet who has no strings attached has me wound around her completely.

I smile thinking back to Jordy's birthday, how rowdy we all were and she was so patient with all of us, including my hook up for the evening. Her shyness is definitely a facade as I think how she warmed up to me so quickly with her quirky personality.

I'm actually going to surprise her today and ask her to my girl, in the way she is going to least expect it. I refuse to let no other guy put on a claim and have me take her for granted.

Who knew a five foot two at most woman, would be the most unexpected surprise in my life?

My lips curl up as I lean on my car, watching Big Red's demolition derby jeep zoom right into the parking spot right in front of their apartment complex.

A sweet giggle rattles my heart, as a small familiar figure hops down. Lizzie has part of her black hair tied up on the top of her head and the rest flowing down her back. Both her hands hold millions of bags from Target, Party City, Five Below, and some random black grocery bags which Ginger snap has a lot of.

Good Lord, they must have put Maxine's dad in the hole.

Lizzie politely gives Alexis her bags and gives her a furrow brow look, making me laugh as she points at me to make sure I don't see.

Alexis presses her lips at her and looks at me, giving me a look asking if I indeed receive everything my Valentine's Day observant will have this year. Lizzie bounces inside her condominium complex, probably to rush and hide whatever she got under her bed so I wouldn't see.

I'm not the one to celebrate Valentine's Day, honestly.

Hasn't been a thing for me since high school shit with Gabrielle. Even then, that was painful, especially having to show off just to satisfy her that the captain of the basketball team loved and appreciated her. She never once told me she loved me but I never did either.

Don't get me started on Ava's bullshit, with wanting to go to some expensive ass restaurant in DC and a hotel for the night.

You bet I didn't do any of that shit.

But I'm having a feeling that, this year, this picky candy heart eater makes it worth celebrating.

Considering all the things I figure she wants, she actually has low-key tastes. The Pinterest ideas Alexis hooked me up with are endless.

A life sized, well Lizzie-sized, giant teddy bear, which I grabbed up before getting here and is being protected in Jordy's room.

Assorted chocolates, no coconut, cherry, raspberry, or orange-filled man that was definitely hard to find.

Red balloons floating around her room.

A good morning kiss.

Heart shaped pancakes.

She's a true hopeless romantic for sure.

I don't think there is anything wrong with how she thinks about love. Her wish list looks like small reminders of affection.

There's no expensive jewelry, clothes, needing to be taken somewhere that proves we're together, or other material shit.

Not too many girls I've been with previously would want small, even overlooked stuff. Instead, they want the biggest, most braggable gifts because social media influenced their opinions about gifts being a responsibility and obligation in relationships.

Lizzie couldn't be further from that toxic shit. I want to give her what makes her happy because her smiles and giggles make me happy. I'm just both humbled and amazed that, to her, it means a good morning kiss.

My eyes travel as she walks out the building wearing a jean jacket, with her purse, a brown box in her hands, and a happy face on. A smile pulls across my face as Alexis hip bumps her and Big Red shuffles her hair, then shoots me a glare.

They love her a lot, I really can't fuck this up.

Lizzie notices me staring and she shyly comes over, glancing at what's in my hand. I laugh because she sinks her teeth in her lower lip and slowly takes the fuzzy heart socks she said she wanted last week at Target.

"Is this for me?" Lizzie eyes sparkle and holds the soft fuzzy socks up to her cheek.

"Of course, beautiful." I lean over and kiss her temple. She crinkles her nose at the word but she needs to know. She's beautiful on the outside but her true beauty is from within.

"You ready?"

She nods happily and looks back at her friends, who are already inside pulling in a big box together. She giggles and shakes her head because it comes up to their hip height.

"What is that?" I arch my brow and look back at her, whose hands cover her mouth.

"Marcus Valentine's Day present!" Her shoulders bouncing, she giggles uncontrollably.

I better warn him about Red Light District probably has some BDSM shit up his way. I need his ass not bruised up for March Madness. "What did y'all do in those five hours?"

"We went shopping for Valentine's Day," she chirps and I open her car door.

I arch my brow and she giggles more, making my serious face crack into a smile.

I softly shut the door and look right at her, as I still hear her giggles outside the car. Her laughter is like medicine for the soul, pulling a smile across my face. I get in playfully and look at her, who's still laughing. I lick my lower lip, my smile widening, and she continues as I start my car.

Before I pull out, I have to know. "What did you get me?"

"Jaylan." Her giggles quiet down right away. "You don't tell people what you're getting them for Christmas?"

"I do." I grin and she furrows her eyebrows at me, grabbing my hand softly but roughly for her.

I palm out of the driveway and in the corner my eyes, Lizzie eye's darken and slightly dilated. The fact she's probably turned on just with the most simple action makes me chuckle.

If she likes it that much, then I should get a new bed and attach a -

I should get a new bed. Mine is clean but a little worn out. Since Lizzie feels like a new start, I need to really make the right new start.

"Well, you're not going to know," she warns.

"I know what I'm getting you," I tease because I'm not sure she knows I have her whole damn Pinterest list memorized.

She covers her ears with furrowed brows and I crack up as I pull off campus.

"So, do you like-"

"LALALALA, I can't hear you! No puedo oírte, no puedo oírte. (I can't hear you!) " She shakes her head back and forth.

I cackle because she's so serious too. All I could do is grin and wait. As soon as I hear her lower her hands from her ears, I tease, "I'm going to-"

"¡Deténgalo ahora mismo, señor (Stop right now mister!)!" She grips my hand tightly, but it actually feels good. I continue to cackle, not having a clue what she is saying in Spanish and head back onto Interstate ninity five.

"Jaylan," her bossy nurse voice comes out when I drive up the on ramp, drawing my attention. "You have five stickers left, don't make me take them away."

"And you have one sticker taken away from your chart." I grin and she gasps as if she's done no wrong.

Her voice takes on a small squeak. "You can't switch this on me!"

"Why not?" I grin and shift into traffic.

"Because I'm Lizzie," she offers like that's an explanation.

I grin smugly at her. "Exactly. NAUGHTY Lizzie. Don't good girls get rewarded and naughty girls punished?"

"I'm not naughty," she defends and I laugh, kissing our clasped hands.

"I don't knowwww. That dance you gave me last night said otherwise," I'm teasing but she has to know that I like both innocent yet a freak in the sheets, I just know it.

"That's how you are supposed to dance at bars," she says, making me pause at the mental image of her dancing in a bar, single and carefree.

The thought of guys grabbing what's mine clenches my jaw, even thinking about how she was dancing with Rashad back at Terrapin's Turf that night.

"Oh yeah?" I look over at her for a second because I know her face is so scrunched up, but to my surprise, she is smiling.

"Yes, Captain Smarty Pants," she states matter-of-factly.

I can't help but laugh but rub my jaw, knowing it's taking everything within me not to stop the car, take her back in the back seat, and withdraw from the spank bank.

Instead, I'll play her game.

"Lizzie that's not nice, I think you just lost yourself another sticker," I tease and she huffs. "Make that two."

"We'll see about that." She grunts and shifts her body, laying her head on my shoulder. I kiss her forehead and she sighs softly. "But I'm glad you're doing okay."

Her reminder makes me swallow hard, as I pass a slow car in the left lane on our way to Baltimore. I haven't been here in years but know the exact route in my sleep. The fact I haven't been here in so long makes me thankful for the company."I'm glad you are coming with me."

"Thank you for inviting me." She squeezes my hand and smiles softly.

Silence fills the car, with only cars zooming along with me making up for it. My eyes become slightly blurry, so I shrug up my opposite shoulder to catch the tear.

Fuck.

I sniffle a bit and feel Lizzie's head move. She reaches up and catches a tear with her small pointer finger. I kiss her finger and she softly sighs.

The longer we remain quiet, the more I'm honestly regretting even making the decision to go to my mom's gravesite. Uncle Steve and Aunt Lisa go all the time because that's where my grandparents are and she's right near them. They really did a nice job putting stuff there and keeping it cleared but I just never had the courage to go by myself.

"It's okay Jaylan," Lizzie's voice breaks through my internal debate.

My mouth feels stuffed with cotton balls and my vision becomes blurry. My chest continues to cave in like bricks are stacking one by one. I can't say any words because I knew if I did, I'll probably crash the car because I couldn't see in my tears.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie." I clear my burning throat and she swipes away another tear. My chest feels like it's full of cement, so I maneuver over to the right land and pull over. People on 95 zoom past, shaking the car as I lean my head forward on the steering wheel.

Fuck man.

"Jaylan, it's okay." Her small hand softly touches the crown of my head.

I let out a soft cry, pain burning within my chest. Tears sting my eyes once again, as Lizzie softly rubs my back. She lays her on my shoulder, taking my hand and kissing it softly.

That's just when I just lose it.

"I'll drive," she offers softly and I nod, closing my eyes under the weight of my emotions.

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

The sun begins to lower as a mixture of purple, magenta, and blue covers the sky. The golden sunset rays highlight Lizzie's honey complexion face as she parks right at the place I tell her, Saint Alphonsus Cemetery .

Her dimples are so visible as she happily realizes she did it. I was a little bit nervous with her driving my baby but she drove it with such care, and slow as fuck for a V6 Chevy Camaro. She even played some of her choice of songs. Interestingly, she chose Cardi B Wap.

She thought I was asleep but my eyes were just closed.

I bet she is a certified freak, all shy girls are.

I smile, thinking about how she was so into it too. She's definitely Alexis and Maxine's best friend, no doubt. She told me last night that I was her friend too, which I have mixed feelings about but right now I'm glad this tiny friend is holding me up.

The tiny little uber driver was so cautious, with all the maniac cracked-out Maryland drivers, but she took her time. With every kiss I kissed on her hand, she said she had to be eight and four at the wheel, which earned her a dose of good medication of my laugh.

The tranquil, eerie silence of the nearly empty cemetery crushes my chest as I look around. Lizzie gazes her doe-shaped, gingerbread eyes at me, then points down between my legs. "Jaylan, watch your feet by the brown box."

"What is it?" I look down and she clears her throat softly.

She reaches down between my legs that are taking up half the space. I help her pick up the box and place it right on my thigh.

"Open it," she softly says with a smile.

I knewwww she had that celebrating one month thing stuck in her mind. A smile pulls across my face and I open the box. My heavy heart sinks deeper when I see this white floral arrangement made over a cross.

If she can't be anymore fucking per....fec..t

Unexpectedly, she pulls out the candle we made from her purse. My throat is so dry that my lungs burn and I forget how to breathe.

"I'm ready when you are," she softly says shyly, pulling out her rosaries from jean jacket pocket. I nod, although I don't yet feel ready to step out of the car.

Lizzie's free hand slips into mine as I clutch tightly on the cross she kindly brought. My heart squeezes painful tight when I look over at all three of their graves together. They're all neatly arranged and kept up by Uncle Steve and Aunt Lisa.

My hands begin to shake on the door handle and Lizzie gets out of the car without any word. She lets the sunset rays hit her face, looking up to the sky and letting out the softest smile. Her angelic presence takes me over, watching as she stretches her tiny limbs. She softly grazes her hand on the hood of my car, dancing her fingers over it, and walks over to my side. She opens the door for me and squeezes her tiny self right onto my lap, curling up like a cat.

I kiss the side of her face and one of her fingers toys with my gold chain. She flutters her eyes closed and I shut mine. For a few minutes it grows quiet, just our breathing making noise.

"Alright," I say.

Her eyes flip open, warm and soothing. "Okay?"

I nod and she moves her body from me as our eyes catch. I flick my eyes down to her soft tinted pink lips and lick mine. She gets out first, pulling her leggings up because they were falling and grabs the candle and a titty lighter. I arch my brow and Lizzie taps my chest.

I'll ask later.

A cool evening breeze hits my damp cheeks as I stand up and Lizzie threads her fingers in between mine. They're so soft, and small, but she's holding me up at this point. My smile releases when I glance over at the first two gravestones.

Until we meet again.

Nellie Ann Robinson and James Alexander Robinson

And my eyes shift, looking at hers.

In loving memory of Evelyn Marie Robinson

Lizzie squats down onto her knees crucifying herself. She lights the candle right away and mumbles something softly. My chest remains tight and my eyes well up with more tears as they trace each letter of Mom's name.

I have not been here since honestly before I left for college. From where Lizzie's kneeling, she flicks her eyes up at me. Her doe brown eyes are shining so beautifully in the sunset, like the warmest invitation.

"Are you ready?" she asks so softly, she sounds like a breeze through the air.

I nod tightly. "I'm ready."

I let out a raggedy breath as my chest begins to tighten again and Lizzie leans her head on my hand, rubbing it softly. With a slow surrender, I sink to my knees, feeling the soft grass sink under my weight. The candle begins to glow brightly, perfectly painting highlights onto the three headstones as the sun sets.

Another soft, cool breeze hits my hands, making Lizzie cuddle into me. I lower my head, reading and rereading every engraved letter that haunts me in my sleep every night since she's no longer been here with me.

A tear escapes from my eyes as I take in a sharp breath. My hand shakes both mine and Lizzie's.

"I can't do this," I start to move but Lizzie looks up to me with assurance in her soft eyes that I can. She takes her other hand, placing it on top of mine and stilling its movements.

Silence takes over again as the wind hits the overhead tree branches, making a little eerie scene. The slight distraction makes me clear my throat again from the burning sensation.

"Hey mom," is all I can manage to get out. With a slight lean forwards and double hand squeeze, I rub my other hand on top of the gravestone. The coolness of it chills the tips of my fingers.

"I'm sorry... I haven't been here in awhile," I admit softly as tears blur the letters in front of my eyes.

Lizzie places the floral arrangement into my hands. "Umm... I guess you're doing okay up there... and, well, you know me," I softly say, not acknowledging proudly everything Mom saw.

"I miss you." The words come out from the pits of my heart, out of the dark ambience I usually lock up. "A lot."

"Uncle Steve misses you too and his Walmart flannels." I chuckle because Mom always roasted Uncle Steve with his outdated fashion. Lizzie giggles quietly, almost a sweet sound to uplift this moment.

"You know Jordy finally got his license?" I actually forgot to tell her the last time I was up here with him. His brother is here too, so I should pay my respects afterwards. I should have brought Jordy.

I lower myself down to a seated position. Lizzie does too, sitting in between my legs. "He still can't make a three point turn." I chuckle.

My eyes shift down to the sea of black hair in front of me and the heart of gold on the other side of it. "Uhh... I wanted to introduce you to someone too... Mom, this is Lizzie. Lizzie, my mom Evie."

"Nice to meet you Miss Evelyn." Lizzie snuggles into my arms shyly, as if Mom is actually here... and I feel it. I wrap both my arms around Lizzie, hugging her chest. The lighter feeling in my chest and the easier way words flow of me feels freeing. "She's going to be a nurse like you." I sigh softly.

My eyes blur up again, thinking Mom will never give Lizzie nursing advice tips on being a new grad nurse like she always did. She loved prepping the new nurses and even went as far inviting them to our house for dinner because most of their families were not from Maryland.

Lizzie giggles quietly. "I hope so," she corrects me, leaning her head back.

I press a soft kiss into her temple then shift back to where Mom is resting. While this isn't the introduction I would've hoped for, Lizzie continues in a conversation about nursing struggles like Mom is sitting across from her. I can practically see her, smiling back and forth between me and Lizzie, silently telling me this one is a keeper.

🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀

After about an hour until the sun is completely gone, Lizzie and I remain cuddled up in front of my mom and grandparents. After a small introductory conversation, her body fit so perfectly against mine as we sat on the ground in silence.

With immeasurable patience, she allows me to cry, allows me to feel, allows me to just be able to have a sense of feeling. I know self-improvement shit doesn't happen like this overnight but it took years for me even to get to this point. The negative things I would do to numb this feeling of just not having a parent or family now show me how bad of a place I was in.

I guess, so far this year, honestly, is for me to just learn that it's okay to not be okay and ask for help when it's needed. I secretly ask within the darkness of my heart if there's anything light to come out of this year and Lizzie's proven to me there is.

After Lizzie smacks me on the arm for not telling her before we got here about Jordy's brother, she picks a flower off Mom's arrangement. With an apology, she promises she is giving it to Jordy's brother and she'll bring another to replace it.

After we pay our respects to Jordy's brother Andrew, we silently leave. On the drive back, I look over at the little speed racer bouncing her head and singing along to Ariana Grande. Normally that shit would not be blaring loudly in my car but how could I say no to that face.

After all she has done these past three days, I can't even put into words how I'm feeling.

I playfully touch her under her chin, cupping it in my palm, and she scrunches her face. "Jaylan, I'm trying to drive. You're distracting."

"Now you know how I feel," I tease.

"Yeah yeah yeah." She shoos me off, waving her tiny hand and clasping on to the wheel.

She honestly so close to the fucking steering wheel, it's hilariously dangerous.

"Turn right there, babe." I point at the old run down brick building of the YMCA and her eyes grow from the word. I laugh and she grunts with a smile, puffing her cheeks a bit trying to fight back a blush. "You good Lizzie?"

"Aterciopelada (Peachy)," she squeaks, parking the car.

I couldn't help but smile at her as her hair covers some of her face as she looks down. She turns, tucking her upper lip at me and avoiding eye contact. I chuckle, licking my lips at her. "Come here,"

She looks like she's going shrivel up like a prune at the simple command. I lean in and softly kiss her lips out of appreciation.

There she goes, with the mango Chapstick.

After an initial taste, I deepen the kiss, swiping my tongue teasingly in her mouth. She softly moans as I gently swipe it over hers, the contact making me clasp my hand at the back of her neck. I slowly pull back to see her eyes still closed and let out a soft laugh.

This girl is a mess.

I like that shit.

"You ready?" I rasp.

She uncovers her face, revealing a pink blush on her face that's highlighted by the street light. "Yes," she softly squeaks.

I laugh getting out of the car, with her staying in there. I walk around, stretching my limbs as the cool winter air hits my face almost in relief.

I can do this... I can do life.

I walk over and open her door like the beautiful queen she is. With her hand in mine, I help her out and pull her into a hug, rubbing her back softly. I look down at her and she looks up at me with a crinkled nose, making me grab it. She blows it into my hand with a sweet laugh and I crack up.

"Ready to bat?"

"What?" She blinks a few times at me.

I arch my brow. "You forgot already?"

"Forget what?"

I gasp, holding my chest in shock and she slants her eyes, not following. I act like I'm going to pass out from her still not knowing how she said she wanted to go to the batting cages. She giggles, holding on to my arm, more like swinging because of her height.

We walk playfully inside the YMCA and I see my old childhood friend Vaughn standing behind the desk.

"WHATTTTT? NBA STAR!" His strong Baltimore accent loudly echoes through the empty lobby.

"What's up, man?" I dap Vaughn, showing a smile. Lizzie is timidly holding on to me, knowing good and well that her and Vaughn are going to kick it off as soon as he shows her some candy. He gives it to all the kids waiting to leave Stay and Play.

"Your Uncle was up here balling again." Vaughn shakes his head. "Socks halfway up his calves and traveling on every possession."

"I wish he would retire." I chuckle, thinking about Uncle Steve rags on everybody about traveling when he is famous for it. "What was he with, the retirement home league?" I joke, and Lizzie hits my arm for roasting her future buddy.

"He was. My pops was here too, and who's this?" Vaughn smirks right in Lizzie's direction and she gives a shy wave.

"My girl," I introduce her. "Lizzie, this is Vaugn. Vaugn, this is Lizzie."

Her eyes grew four times bigger than her body but quickly switches out of her shyness as she smiles at Vaugn. "Hi."

"Nice to meet you Lizzie, and nice to see this knucklehead settle down." He looks directly at me because he knows my fuck boy ways but also I never brought any girl here.

Coming to the Y is basically like coming to counseling. Every worker here knows my story and just allowed me to vent and open up in every room, whether it was the weight room, basketball court, boxing room, shit even the nasty ass pool Vaugnh swears they clean every night but the water's murkiness tells me otherwise.

"He is quite a handful," Lizzie roasts.

I laugh, shaking my head.

"He definitely is," Vaughn agrees with a laugh, then looks back at me. "So what brings you in this late? Don't y'all have school tomorrow?"

"I don't, he does." Lizzie presses her lips and I laugh, shaking my head and licking my lower lip.

"The batting cages actually."

Lizzie looks up with that sparkle in her eye but also a side eye at that.

"Making me work but alright come on." Vaughn shakes his head, pulling a blow pop out of the kids-only bucket under the desk. Predictably, Lizzie's eyes brighten.

"Umm Vaugn, could I have that blow pop?" She points at a green apple one.

Nothing will ever stop her from eating candy.

"Of course beautiful." Vaughn, not carrying, hands her the lollipop but I yank it from him and give it to her. I could read her doe eyes saying 'no sticker.'

We follow Vaughn down the hall and all the memories flood back to me from when Uncle Steve would come bring me here for our one-on-one games together. Or when Aunt Lisa made me get a job here to work for the summer camps. Man, those kids were bad.

I got into my first fight here because some lame ass Tristian Jackson was picking on Jordy in the game room. Yeah, that wasn't going to fly with me. Handmade art and plaques cover the white brick walls as we head down to the hall, to the right where the sports complex is.

My eyes catch sight of Lizzie really enjoying that lollipop, slurping for a sec. She swirls her tongue and tosses the lollipop to the side, typing on her phone with a smile. Holding it up, she takes a photo of her sucking a lollipop. To invade her privacy, I rest my chin on her head, biting my lip and making her crinkle nose for me being obnoxious.

Vaugh gives me a slight frown. "Alright, uhh, let me load the balls. But just know, y'all got an hour before closing."

I suck my teeth and playfully shove him. He laughs, going to the pitching machine. Lizzie's still going to town on this lollipop, still sucking innocently but my mind is shifting the more she wraps her lips around it and sucks.

"Take a photo, it'll last longer." She giggles and takes off her jean jacket, revealing this tight floral top hugging her mangoes so good. I groan internally because her stomach is slightly showing, flashing that belly ring again.

"Don't tell me that, I still have that shower pic." I wink at her, causing her eyes to grow bigger.

"Jaylan!"

I cackle at how she stomps her foot and I stomp it back to be an ass. She crunches down on the candy, making me cringe at the sound.

"Have fun you two. It's on thirty miles per hour." Vaughn winks and I shake my head because he knows Lizzie can't do anything above fifty.

I take off my sweatshirt, then pull down my undershirt. When I look at Lizzie, her eyes are shut because she was caught probably because my abs were showing. I know she was trying to count all eight last night.

"You're funny, sweetheart." I wink and she tucks her upper lip in again.

I love how shy she gets, never gets old.

I walk over to the baseball rack, where a dozen metal, scratched bats sit. Touching it feels forbidden, knowing I haven't hit since, well, the day my mom was on the sofa. I trashed my baseball equipment, uniform, even T-shirts in the dumpster and refused to play.

But I don't want baseball to be a memory like that anymore. I want it to be healing for me, just like basketball.

"You ready" I say and she nods happily, grabbing a safety helmet that's like three times bigger than her head.

"Is there music?" she asks.

"Just the sound of a bat hitting the ball," I answer, then frown when she grabs a helmet and shoves it into my chest.

She crinkles her nose and places her helmet on her head. I couldn't help but laugh because she reminds me of a little kid. "Safety first, Jaylan."

"Oh, absolutely." I slyly grin, putting mine on and she playfully clenches her jaw, grabbing a bat.

I search on my phone to play Childish Gambino, placing my phone on the table. 3005 comes on and Lizzie shakes her butt playfully as she pretends to swing, almost knocking me out with one rotation.

"Watch it, shorty," I pull back, because teeth are important.

She giggles, looking at me with a goofy grin.

"Here, let me set the timer and we'll start," I assure her, she nods as she bites her lip timidly.

I send her back at the hitting end and smile, jogging down to check the pitching machine and the settings. Vaughn's really trying to break her fingers and mind. I slow the time, adjust the speed, and make my way back. Lizzie's taking a photo with my phone, puckering her lips and holding the bat but gets caught when I peek in there. She smiles big and puts her phone down.

"Ready?"

She nods eagerly and we stand together but I get behind her, who lifts the bat up like she's ready. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Easy tiger, we got a few seconds. Here, fix your grip." I grab each of her wrists, helping her adjust her hands.

I lean over, pressing our bodies together and molding us perfectly. From under the edge of her helmet, her hair drapes on to my forearm, tickling my skin. Don't get me started on where her ass is nestled against me, but I run my hands down her arms, straightening them and raising a trail of goosebumps.

Focus before a ball hits your head.

"So, first step plant your legs slightly more than shoulder-width apart. Your toes should point towards the plate and your legs will be spread apart," I say and she does it in the cutest way. So I chuckle and help her fix her posture by caging my body around her.

"Good," I whisper. Too bad this damn helmet in the fucking way because her neck is too close not to kiss.

She wiggles slightly, lifting the bat up. "Now what?"

"Rest on the balls of your feet and keep your weight back. The ball of your foot is the small area in between your toes and your arches, Nurse Lizzie. It will help pick up your front foot and step it on towards the pitcher's mound." She grumbles at my teasing and I tickle her side, making her jump and tap the bat lightly into the side of my helmet.

"Your feet should face in front of you. Do not splay your toes out to the side or in towards the plate." I step back and tap her butt gently.

She giggles and pushes her butt back for me to stop but that's only going to make it worse. I chuckle as she gazes her doe eyes at me from over her shoulder.

"Alright, grip the bat with both hands near the bottom but with your dominant hand." I hear my mom try to instruct me through me and slip my gold watch up because it's falling down a bit.

"Like that?" Lizzie shifts her hands almost perfectly.

"Yep." I nod and wrap each of my hands around hers again, moving them into place. "But make sure your middle knuckle of your upper hand lines up with the bottom of your fingers on the lower hand and part of the finger between your palm and middle knuckle."

"Why so many instructions?"

"This is how my mom taught me." I squeeze my hands gently around hers, hoping she'll focus.

She lets out a soft laugh and wiggles her ass against my pelvis.

"Alright, hold the bat up and in front of us," I raise our arms together.

"Okay," she says softly.

I move a bit so we are shoulder height to her, so we can hit the ball with power. I relax our elbows and she giggles. I hear the timer which means a ball is coming. My heart begins to race because this will be the first time I'll be doing this in eleven years.

"Alright, point your eyes and head toward the pitching machine," I warn her and her spine freezes.

"When is it coming?" She frets and I chuckle at her impatience.

"Soon. Keep your eye on the ball the entire time you are swinging."

The tube sound pings and the ball shoots out at full force. Lizzie tenses but together we hit the ball, making it ping against the aluminum bat, vibrating our arms as we swing through. She jumps at how fast it came, even though it's on the lowest setting.

"I DID IT!" she excitedly says and hugs on to me as the helmet covers her face.

"You did it, babe," I say, moving the helmet and revealing her blushing face.

She likes me calling her that.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" she shyly asks, as if she's reading my mind, and I lift up her chin so our eyes meet each other like always.

"You know what today is, Lizzie?"

She furrows her eyebrows at me and I do it back playfully.

"Sunday," She quizzically replies.

I laugh, holding on to her because she probably thinks I'm being an ass and she is still holding the bat.

"Today..." I lift her up by her waist, wrapping my arms around her. "Today would be a month since I first laid my eyes on you."

She tucks her upper lip in and I flash her smile. "It is," she admits softly.

"It is, baby." I squeezed her tightly overhead.

"Jaylaaaan," she calls out, laughing.

"Lizzieeee."

She looks down, one hand on the bat but the other toying with my chain, probably nervous out of her mind. Shit, I am too, I don't even know what she's going to say but I can't wait much longer.

"I forgot," she quietly admits.

"I know," I lower her down but keep holding onto her. "But I didn't. I won't ever forget when I first saw you, Lizzie."

She bends her knees up in happiness and leans down to press her back into my forehead. "Don't rub it in," she grits through her teeth.

"Oh I am," I fight the urge to tickle her while the ball machine's next timer barely registers in my mind.

"Lizzie..." I keep my arms tight around her and I'm sure she can feel how hard my heart beats into her back "I want to keep this going between us. And I know if I get comfortable, then I'll never ask you, so will you... be my girlfriend?"

Her eyes sparkle and a gasp leaves her. She looks scared for a second and wiggles down off me. After a moment where she just stares up at me, her free hand reaches for me when the ball almost knocks us both out. With a squeak, Lizzie drops straight to the ground and I'm right behind her.

Welp, moment ruined.

She begins to giggle uncontrollably and reaches her hand out towards mine. Threading our fingers together, I stand up and pull her with me. Before I respond, she leaps back up, wrapping herself around my body like a koala and nearly smacking me with the baseball bat before she drops it.

Pulling back, her eyes sparkle as they look straight into mine. "Yes, Jaylan Parker, I'll be your girlfriend."

Edited and spiced by still_just_me