There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who glows with kindness and a pure spirit.

I found the most precious, valuable thing, that's far more valuable than rubies.

Elizabeth Maria Lucero is going to ruin me.

She is going to ruin me, in many ways, for the better.

The things she says and the way she says them, will have a man on his knees, worshiping the ground she stands on.

I never thought I would be fucking crying, in the Bryce Jordan Center out of all fucking places, when I let go all the ten years of grief.

Uncle Steve spent years trying to get me to open up like that but I just couldn't. I have that stigma in my mind that men can't cry and it's just for pussies.

I'm surprised I'm not sick for how long I held part of that in. I mean, there is so much more left in my heart to let out with anger at PJ, anger at my mom for her selfish act, sadness because I'm just pretty much an orphan without Uncle Steve and Aunt Lisa. They are legit all I have as a family, besides the team and now the Jell-O enthusiast.

I've never had someone just be there that was open to just let me cry, well, quietly cry. Internally, I was snot-faced, stinging eyes, and just plain ugly crying, if that's even possible. All the adrenaline and flashbacks from the day hit me as soon as the whistle blew and I just played my heart out on the court, literally. Every memory came up until the point of seeing my mom on the sofa, was on the court. I couldn't hear any of the noise of the boos and cheers but just my eleven-year-old self trying to wake up my mom. Even with the final buzzard, I was so wrapped in the memory I forgot where I was.

My mind was trapped in my memories until Elizabeth Maria Lucero made her tiny self through the hustle and bustle of the crowd and welcomed me with those comforting gingerbread doe eyes.

Brown eyes are just brown eyes but brown eyes hit different when you care about someone.

What did I do to deserve someone like her to be in my life right now, when everything I feel like is in shambles? Especially because I'm trying to break ties with PJ, got a crazy ass chick trying ruin every last good thing for me, and just a fucked up heart. I still shake my head at how I've gotten a second chance, no a real chance, with Lizzie.

I sigh heavily and Marcus pats my shoulder. "You good?"

"I'll be alright," I said looking at my half-empty cup.

I need more alcohol.

My eyes laser at Lizzie and her friends grabbing more Jell-O shots with Jordy and Xavier at the bar because I refused to let anyone touch my precious gem. She said, 'just relax,' with a peck on the cheek while gazing in my eyes.

Damn, I don't deserve her.

Her light and energy is so pure, it disrupts the darkness inside of me. It confuses me. I know she is not my savior, I know she can't fix me, but every time I'm with her, she makes me want to challenge myself to allow her to see the real me.

After sitting in the gymnasium longer than we were probably allowed to, Lizzie finally encouraged me to have some fun and celebrate my big win with... Jello. I couldn't resist her enthusiasm and the sweet soft kisses she gave on my face.

Typically, I would have said no and headed back to my room. But she came all the way out here to see me, to be with me, to care for me in more ways than one. When she bosses me in that preschool voice to take a nice long shower, dresses cute, and gives me this cuddle coupon shit that I'll get tonight, my mind is made up. Big Red's dad sponsored their spontaneous girls trip, even a room at the same hotel we are in.

Lizzie still poked me in the chest, making it loud and clear that this isn't making up for my sleepover. I told Jordy already and all he said was, 'say less,' which earned him a slap behind the head. Because knowing Lizzie, she's probably got this fairy tale idea of having sex - roses, candles, feeding fruit, and all kinds of shit.

But, I love how Dum Dum is always looking out for me.

I don't know why, out of all the moments, she had to be here right now and why she came at this time. As much as she complains about how I'm unexpected with my plans, she's the unexpected in my life.

I have to shoot my shot and ask her to be my girl before it gets any more serious. After all, I did kiss her and she was probably waiting for those magic words. I was trying to make our first kiss right at the right time and I don't even know what I'm waiting for at this point but I just want to do all of it right this time.

I sigh, taking a sip of my Remy Martin as I scope the crowd of fans and Penn State college students in their local bar. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Ava and her demons, flirting it up trying to get my attention but my focus narrows on a beautiful, bubbly, newly Valentine's Day partaker who's holding small clear plastic cups with her best friends. Somehow Jordy beat me to it.

I love that my two favorite people are hanging out.

Lizzie's tits are out there for me to see and no one else. From the front, she's tightly hugged up in a long-sleeve, red crop top that's showing off her belly ring. The back is killing me, open across her shoulders and tapers to a knot tied right where my eyes keep focusing. Her high waisted jeans are suffocating her hips and her globe of an ass is making me so stiff, it hurts.

Her identity is not in her outfit attracts me the most. It's just clothes to her but, to every fucking dude in here, she's like eye candy. She is the center of attention tonight, along with her best friends.

Lizzie bubbly comes over, waving the plastic cups and making me chuckle at her because she is definitely a true light weight.

"Jaylan, look! They have mango," Lizzie beams with her widened doe eyes, handing me another tiny Jello shot cup. I take it from her and chuckle because her eyes are buzzed and she is overly excited. She hops on the sofa with me, more like on top of me, and sits on my lap... right on the center of the cobra, unaware by the fact she doesn't even blink down at what's pressing against her.

"How many flavors they got?" I lick my lower lip as she focuses on trying to get the lid open. She fucking's drunk and I love it, although I'm glad I'm here because I don't trust any of these local college guys.

"Mmm, they got peach, grape which was gross, lime, lemon, they had bubble gum, umm, melon fusion," she lists as she puts all the flavors on the table with Jordy. I blink a few times because they got a whole damn rainbow.

"Of all things, they didn't have lemon," Jordy grumbles, slurping his Jello shot.

"That's because I have them... for Marcus," Maxine teases, waving it in her hand. Marcus chuckles with no shame, pulling her on the sofa and making her whine like a brat.

"Me too, sorry Jordy." Alexis giggles, waving the lemon and cuddling up to Hollis, who kisses her cheek. Guess Xavier, Taylor, and Jordy will be rooming with each other tonight.

"It won't open." Lizzie's struggling sounds like a kid that can't open a child-proof lid.

"Here," I say, laughing and opening it with ease.

She grumbles and slurps down her next Jello shot.

That sound.

I chuckle smirking at this Jello expert, struggling to get the top open on the pink one. I pull her in with my arms and she giggles. She opens it and slurps it whole, swallowing and making me stiff as a rock. She reaches for another one, multicolored like a rainbow, and hands it to me. 

"Lizzie, come on photo," Alexis urges and Lizzie hops off my lap.

"Don't eat it." She furrows her brows at me and I throw my hands up with a smirk.

She gives me one last side eye... Well, her side eye, and she bounces over to Maxine, Lexi, and Jordy. I chuckle, shaking my head because Jordy's finally found where he belongs.

"Jordy beat it!" Maxine hip bumps him, only for him to smile bigger.

I chuckle, taking another sip as I watch them take the photo.  It feels normal being around the people I care about and I think that would be something my mom wanted today, even Aunt Lisa and Uncle Steve.

"Ay, leave him alone," Marcus growls at Maxine putting Jordy in a headlock, who looks deathly afraid. All of us laugh as the two bicker about who stands next to Lizzie but Alexis stands right between and the two take a photo.

For some odd reason, this feels like our family is complete.

"So, what's good with you and Maxine?" I sit back on the sofa watching Jordy, Alexis, and Lizzie dance to T-Pain, having some kind of Dance competition.

I look down and chuckle, looking back at Marcus

"She just wants to keep it like it is." He points, swirling his hand around at the team and the girls.

"You going to take your shot?" I slyly grin but Marcus' shoulders slump.

"Have missed too many times." He laughs and I laugh too watching Maxine pluck Jordy in the nose.

"You know she loves you though," I call it like I see it.

Anybody willing to come all the way to State College, give tit call plays for Marcus, who forgot to look at film yesterday.... That's loyalty.

"Kind of hard to believe," he says, looking at his cup.

"Don't let her go, no matter how crazy she is. Plus, we need her for the next game, in case you forget to watch film," Hollis teases and sips his cup, eyeing up Alexis' choice of outfit tonight.

"How did you guys work that out anyway?" Xavier chuckles.

Marcus looks down at his Jordans with a grin. "I can't tell that secret."

"Would this have any explanation of finding her bra in the gym on the hoop yesterday morning?" Hollis boyishly grins.

Marcus surrenders, throwing his hands up not saying a word.

"Coach T's going to have your ass if it's on camera, how y'all get in there?" Taylor laughs.

"We are captains, we got connections." Marcus winks.

I shake my head, laughing and knowing Coach T will make him wipe every crevice of our court with his bare hands if he finds a spec of Marcus offspring on the floor.

"Crazy as fuck." I laugh, taking the last bit of my drink and watching Lizzie do the cabbage patch with Alexis and Maxine dancing to some new Black Eyed Peas song.

She is something.

"I like crazy." Marcus chuckles, watching Maxine stand up with Alexis, dancing on the couch and pulling Lizzie up as they sing drunkenly while still dancing.

"WOOOO!" Hollis eggs them on, while Alexis squats down in front of Lizzie, giving him a personal show.

My eyes focus on Lizzie as she moves her hips so perfectly to the beat. She turns her chin over her shoulder and giving a close lip smile at me while I just scan her body up and down.

Lizzie is just as beautiful, sexy, and tempting as the first time I saw her dance but this time I feel more than just attracted to her. A rosy blush comes across her cheeks and she turns around as Alexis giggles in her ear at what she saw.

"You need anything?" Marcus sits closer to me, looking at my empty cup.

"Not really but, I'll be okay," I admit, watching Lizzie turn her body side to side as Alexis holds the camera, shining the flash on her body.

"You really picked a special one,"  Hollis adds, watching Lizzie giggling at Jordy squinting his eyes at some green flavor he tries.

"That's for sure." I smile, scanning my eyes down her body again. When I lift them and meet her eyes,  her nose crinkles at my gawking stares. I chuckle from getting caught but I don't fucking care because she is mine.

She skips over to me, plopping herself right back on my lap and making me inwardly groan landing right on my hard on. Lizzie reaches for the last Jello shot.

"Try ittt." She holds up the plastic cup as she holds hers.

"How many have you had?" I laugh and she furrows her eyebrows at me. 

"Jaylan, it's National Jello Week today, don't be Party Pooper."She sticks her tongue out at me.

I got to introduce the spank bank soon.

"Yeah Jaylan, don't be lame. Let naughty Lizzie come out," Maxine adds, licking her red Jello shot seductively, making Marcus and the rest of the guys clear their throat.

Excuse me?

"Naughty Lizzie?" I arch my brow, sipping my drink

"Oh, Naughty Lizzie is fun," Alexis adds winking and snuggling up to Hollis.

"Oh, there is no such thing." Lizzie shoos them off but I want to hear more. If she has a damn Pinterest board for that...

"You sure about that?" I laugh, licking my lower lip.

"Positive." She pats my chest with assurance.

"With a capital P?" I wink and she blushes moving her straight hair to her shoulder.

Lizzie eyes scan the table and looks back at me  "Where is your rainbow one?" She arches her brow.

I wave my cup at her and she cheers me and I do it back. "Ready?"

Her eyes sparkle at me over her cup. "Ready."

"Wait hold on," I say with a sly grin.

She crinkles her nose, midway getting ready to take her shot. I pull her waist until her ear is near my mouth and whisper, "Let's make this interesting."

With a slight pull back, she frowns but the sparkle in her eyes says she's interested. "Think about your stickers."

"Isn't that out the window?"

"Jaylaaaan," she warns but bites her lip, holding back a giggle by the way her shoulders bounce.

"Lizzieeee."

I wrap my arm around her body tighter and she squeaks, nuzzling herself into my neck.

"What do you have in mind?" She furrows her eyebrows and I breathe out a chuckle.

Flashing a wide grin,"Let's have some fun." I whisper in her ear and she looks at me with those doe eyes.

"What did you have in mind?"

I smirk and she slants her eyes. They shoot wide when I tap the plastic cup by her belly.

"Jaylan." She giggles and I laugh.

"Watch it, Parker... Ow, what? You quit," Maxine growls, trying to chaperone.

"We're supposed to take it together," Lizzie shyly says, making my cock so fucking hard that this one is going to be difficult to will back down.

"Have you ever tried a body shot?"I question, with a confident grin and take both our cups, placing them on a table.

Her eyes track my movements, then flick back up to mine. "No" she breathes.

"First time for everything right?" I lick my lower lip again.

A glint in her eyes makes her lips curl up into a smile "I'll try it"

"Here watch, lay back," I whisper with a husk and gently guide her shoulders down. "Try to stay still."

"Jaylan, it's cold and stinky." She groans with laughter but lays down.

Her laughter is serious therapy, I lean forward and her laughter gets louder as my face gets closer to her stomach, where I pour my shot. It puddles right around that gold belly ring of hers and I'm literally licking my lips for the most sugary version of shots ever invented. I dip my head right in the middle, pursuing my lips and slurping up the shot, making her laugh harder.

The taste of the awfully mixed Jello flavors and vodka make it bittersweet, bitter in an awful taste but sweet because my face is right in heaven. My chin presses into the top button of her jeans and lips brush over her soft skin. Connecting my lips, I gently drag my tongue over what's left to lick her clean. She giggles, cradling my head to shyly protect anyone who sees but her friends make it known with cat calls and egging on the naughty exchange.

She softly whispers, "Jaylan!" She giggles as I continue to kiss my new favorite spot.

"Jaylannn!" She giggles loudly, making everyone laugh around us.

"Ow ow!" Maxine cat calls and encourages it.

The way her eyes sparkle and head tips back as she giggles, I don't think Lizzie ever had this much fun out. Even though this is not her scene, she's definitely made the effort to make me feel special. So I offer her a shot, "You want to try it?"

She sinks her teeth into her lower lip and shyly looks around at everyone. Knowing she's probably a little intimidated by everyone on the team watching, I squeeze her hand. "You don't have to."

Her eyes catch a glimpse of someone and she looks down quickly. I turn my head, noticing Ava and her friends laughing, whispering, and taunting Lizzie. My blood boils and I look back at Lizzie, who holds her elbows over her stomach and curls her shoulders like she's caving inward.

I lift her chin gently and her soft eyes, absent the sparkles they just had, wreck me. "Don't worry about her."

"I'm just..-"

"She is nothing okay"

Lizzie twirls her shot cup in her hand as her hair cascades over her face like she's thinking a little too hard. The last thing I want is for her to feel less than what she's worth. She mumbles something and squeezes her Jello shot.

"Here," she says, lifting up the shot and sinking her teeth in her lower lip.

"You sure?," I assure her.

"Open your mouth big mouth." She giggles and I say no more.

She dumps the red Jello in my mouth and chases it with hers. I don't know what's sweeter, the artificial red Jello or Lizzie, but she tastes like an entire aisle of candy. Her mouth is a mixture of strawberry, ten other artificial flavors, and her mango Chapstick. I slowly push my tongue between her lips and she moans at the new feeling of me exploring in her mouth.

I grip her body tighter, my hands feeling the soft bare skin on her back before I move them down to cupping both around her ass. My lips cover Lizzie's as I deepen the kiss and stroke my tongue over hers.

She slowly pulls back, giggling and covering her face because she wasn't expecting the new way to kiss. I lightly tap her ass and she tucks herself in my neck, laughing and looking over to her friends. Both Maxine and Alexis are just in awe of Lizzie showing herself off.

She giggles, dips her chin down. Shit, I must have activated something. Her eyes sparkle at mine and she holds up her hands, giggling. I lean in and kiss her hands, pressing my lips over her knuckles and the valleys in between. She leans in my chest and looks up at me.

"Are you having a good time?" she asks so kindly.

I thumb the side of her face and she turns it locking eyes with me, "Thank you, but honestly, I would love to leave and just cuddle with you."

Did I really just said that out loud?

'Jaylan." She giggles, pressing her forehead on mine.

"Is that too hard to ask?"

"Only if we dance to one song." She sinks her teeth and holds up her pointer finger, bending it like a caterpillar.

I laugh, kissing it, and she gets off my lap, holding out her hands to try to help me up. I get up with ease without her help and attach my hands to her waist then down to her ass, making her squeal. Fuck yes, I'm touching there. She pushes her butt back at me in defense.

"Oooh, I love this song." Her eyes grow big as she looks over her shoulder at me, so I nod ahead of us. I'm trying to think of every unsexy thought and image I have but the way her ass jiggles with each step, I'm failing.

Lexi and Hollis are already on the dance floor, along with Marcus and Maxine.

Lizzie beams in my face and pulls well, tries to pull, me on the dance floor. She clasps her hands around my wrist, tapping it to the rhythm.  She turns, looking at me through her eyelashes and sinking her teeth in her lower lip. Lifting our clasped hands, she makes me spin her around a few times but I better be careful or she will puke all over me with the amount of Jello shots she has in her.

Lizzie bobs her head to Jeremih's Don't Tell Em. We make it through the drunken, sweaty crowd and she twirls once more immediately, putting my hands on her hips . Winding her hips so smoothly, like the professional she is, reminds me of the first time again but this time I'm getting my dance. I've been waiting for this moment for a while.

And damn it is worth it.

Every time she gave, I gave back. And just like I knew when I saw her, our bodies mold and move perfectly together.

She turns her body around slowly, twerking her ass on the beat and making me groan from this painful erection. Her bare back presses against me and she surprises me when she winds her arms around my torso. My hands grip her sides of her waist but my fingers graze over the smooth skin of her stomach.

A quick scan around us shows Ava grinding all over some random guy. Her fuck-me eyes stare straight at me though, but I glare at her, then look down. I almost wish I hadn't because the view of Lizzie's breasts, sorry mangoes, bouncing as she moves are just as tempting as her ass pressed against me.

My heart pounds hard as I tug her into me, her ass throwed back right into my pelvis. Friction rolls between us from where she rubs right over my erection, which swells up so hard, she can't not feel it. I lean down and press my lips into the side of her neck, trailing over her skin with soft kisses. Her pulse throbs the more I tease her, but I blink a few times when all the old signs spring up. Heat builds up under my skin, my cock throbs for release, and I almost stop moving completely.

The normal way I use to dull my edge of pain isn't right with Lizzie. And I don't want to use old habits on a good woman like Lizzie.

"You finally got your dance," she teases.

"I finally got it," I admit, although now I'm bricked up like a damn wall.

She giggles, making warmth spread across my chest even though the lead weight building up in there is making it hurt right now to even feel.

"Let's go get you some food, light weight." I laugh as she spins around, dancing to the next song. I pull her in and flicker my eyes at her when she cradles my face with her tiny hands.

"Are you ready to go?" she kindly asks with a soft whisper.

I nod as the heaviness sets into my chest. "I am."

"Okay, let me go grab my things."

My eyes look around for a moment and she's still got the place's attention. With some guy nodding at her, she giggles, talking out loud about wanting another Jello shot before we go

"I'm cutting you off." I chuckle and look at the guy with daggers, who lifts up his cup to me and saluting my win. Yeah, Lizzie is definitely a big win.

"Jaylan, I only had like..." She hiccups, yeah she's definitely cut off.

"I only had this many" She giggles, holding ten fingers up at me.

I shake my head. "I think you had more than that, Lizzie."

"Just stay here, I'll be back," she says so confidently, trying to push my chest, but I grab her waist.

"I'll walk with you," I whisper down in her ear

"Jaylan." She narrows her eyes. "I'm twenty one."

"So am I and I'm walking with you." I arch one eyebrow and tap her gently on her ass a little more firmly. The smooth contact officially makes a withdrawal out of the spank bank. She furrows her eyebrows with a pout mixture of artificial coloring on her lips.

As we walk back to our side, my eyes catch sight of Ava. She's fuming at me but I release a smirk, knowing she just lost all chances for good. She mouths, 'fuck you,' turning with her hair flowing in the air. She gathers around with her friends, huddling together and glaring at me and then at Lizzie.

I don't know what she's up to, but I got to protect Lizzie at all costs.

"Lizzie, text me if he gets out of hand," Maxine says, breaking my concentration.

Lizzie giggles, pushing Maxine and whispering in her ear. Maxine side eyes me and Marcus whispers in her ear, making her straighten up. Lizzie hugs Lexi goodbye as the two kind of stumble. Hollis laughs, catching the two when they almost fall onto the couch laughing way.

Yeah we got to soak up that alcohol.

I shake my head and grab Lizzie's jacket and purse... Did she really bring her nursing book?

I'm not surprised.

I tuck it underneath my arm and Lizzie waves a hotel key card in my face, dancing to the music. I chuckle, shaking my head as she pretends the key card is a fish, swimming and dancing with it, pinching her lips together.

We walk through the bar to the exit when Ava, being a bitch, bumps into Lizzie on purpose. Lizzie's so drunk, she doesn't even pay attention to Ava's nonsense. Lizzie just twirls her finger in the air and dances on our way out without a car in the world.

Quicken my pace to catch Lizzie who is dancing out the door. The cold air hits me like a ton of bricks, pricking my heated skin.

"Ohhh man, Jaylan we left at the best song," she wails as Unforgettable by French Montana blurs outside the bar and I chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck.

"We have other times" I breath a chuckle and she grunts at me.

Lizzie sways her body to the music as we begin walking down the the sidewalk. "I should know how to pick up I'm gonna catch the rhythm while she push up against meee" Lizzie holds up her arm screeching to the song.

With a smile, "Lizzie, come on, put on your jacket." I hold her jacket but she twirls around, beginning to skip.

I can't help but laugh as she wiggles her body in a silly way. "You are unfortagableeeeee I need to get you alone!" she sings loudly, curling her finger at me.

I try again, smiling and shaking her coat out. "Lizzie, come on."

She giggles and dances around me like a merry go round. "I got a little drink but it's not Bacardi, If you loved the girl then I'm so, so sorry," she continues, holding my hands and swinging.

I need to record this shit.

She continues to dance back and forth, skipping while some people laugh at her while she shakes her ass. I pick up my pace as she gets half way down the street.  Her tiny legs can move, shit.

"You're on your level too, Tryna do what lovers do," she continues, swaying her body and making her hair move in the air.

I hold my phone up, letting the flash shine on her face and she grumbles.

"Quit!" She sticks her tongue out and I laugh, still recording as she continues to sing the song.

As Lizzie continues to sing and dance to me nonexistent music, my mind still remains where it doesn't want to be. It took me forever not to feel grief. It takes strength to make your way through grief, to grab hold of life and let it pull you forward. I don't know how I will be pulled forward but I know with this Jello enthusiast that anything is possible.

"OOOOH Jaylan!" Lizzie eyes marvel at the golden arches, the lights highlighting her honey face. She pulls me inside and the smell of the salty cholesterol is already clogging my arteries as we speak. 

"What would you like?" Lizzie gives me doe eyes, making me feel completely obligated to cave into her catering.

"I got it Lizzie," I offer because greasy, salty food will sober her up a little.

"No sea dificil señor (don't be difficult, mister)."

I let out a soft chuckle in my chest, throwing my hands up because I have no idea what she said.

"How about we get a twenty piece with two large fries?" she suggests.

Those workers are going to hate this ray of sunshine.

"Alright. I nod."

She sinks her teeth in and spins, walking up to the counter and smiling brightly at the unenthusiastic worker. I chuckle as my phone goes off and I check it to see that it's Uncle Steve.

Tubby🥸: [gif] yaaaaa boy, I just can't wait for that first paycheck you owe me. Great work son, proud of you, and thinking of you. I know your mom would have been real proud tonight!

Warmth spreads across my chest, burning slightly as I clear my throat. Rereading the text over and over again, I have no idea how to respond. What do you say to that?

Me: Thanks Uncle Steve, first paycheck I'm buying you a new wardrobe.

I chuckle, knowing for sure I'm getting him brand new Nike Aires as soon as that NBA check hits at midnight.

🏀🏀 🏀 🏀 🏀

"Little Mermaid, what's the hold up? I'm hungry." I bang on the bathroom door and hear a baby grumble and I chuckle as some stuff falls in the bathroom.

I'm so glad I took a shower first because I knew Lizzie was going to drown herself in there. Little does she know, I've been eating her fries, knowing good and well she's not going to eat them. Our food is probably so fucking cold, considering Maxine had to get our room, so I had to get a larger suite on the fourth floor, down the farthest door towards the hall.

Lizzie was still a sight, skipping and rambling off why sweet and sour is better than any other sauce or how she began to rant about why her professor gave her a last-minute reading assignment because she forgot to tell the class, making her fret in misery. 

Those girls brought so much shit for one night, it looks like a bomb went off in their room. Lizzie's area was neatly put together and she knew what she needed for the night. She even brought the raggedy giraffe because Olivia was going to be sad that she didn't have someone to sleep with and he would be alone.

"Elizabeth, don't make me come... in there," I threaten her.

The door swings wide open with a tiny angry doll looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and long, damp hair. Her butterfly-print pajamas cling to her, with her top stretched so tightly snug on my favorite fun bags. Even her nipples look ready and attention for me but... I'll see them soon.  I can't wait to get her to participate in Take a Shower With a Friend Day. We might celebrate that early soon.

"You are not getting a sticker for that," she warns me.

"You are not getting a sticker for that," I parrot back in a squeakier voice, not much though.

She crinkles her nose, still brushing her hair and walking past me. With one step, she hops on the bed, looking at the half-empty cartoon of fries. I smirk and she huffs at me. "You're not being nice."

"I'm always nice Elizabeth." I tease, tossing a fry in my mouth.

She looks over at the stuffed animals slumped over on top of each other, which I purposely did. By the time she looks at me, I flash a bigger smile.

"I'm glad you are having fun." She smiles at me without a scold because Olivia is getting more action than me tonight

"Trying, Doc." I dip a nugget in buffalo sauce.

She pauses for a moment, then touches my wrist. "Jaylan, grieving doesn't make you imperfect. It makes you human."

"Thank you," is all I can get out, trying to stuff down some of the emotions she's pulling back up.

Silence fills around us except Lizzie softly brushing her hair and eating a fry.

"Here, let me," I offer and she looks at me through her eyelashes.

"You don't have to Jaylan." She blinks a few times and looks down at the strands hanging over her shoulder. "It's a lot of hair."

"I want to," I offer, because I do.

She tucks her upper lip in and I softly laugh, knowing she is probably freaking out in her little body right now.  She turns around, folding her feet under her knees and guarding her chicken nuggets in her lap. With a look over her shoulder, she hands me her brush. When I gather most of it in my hand and gently tug back, she scoots back and eats on her chicken nugget while flicking through her phone at photos she took tonight.

"I like that one" I point out of her and I on the gymnasium floor.

"Me too"

Even slightly damp, Lizzie's hair is soft, thick, and yeah, there is a lot of it. It spills all the way down to my lap in a small, black puddle. Starting at the bottom, I take a test drive and drag the brush through it. Surprisingly, the way it straightens and curls through the brush relaxes me. Lizzie having long hair tells me it's her glory, so I need to be careful.

"Look at this one!" Lizzie giggles, holding up her phone and showing me a photo of Jordy balancing a Jello shot on his nose, with crossed eyes.

"He is one of a kind," I admit and shake my head. Once the bottom knots are worked out, I move upwards. Her hair is long but so are my arms.

"Just like me," she teases.

"Just like you." The way her shoulders relax and head tips back slightly as I start higher on her head, I think she likes this. In a weird way, I think I do too.

"How did you guys become friends anyway?"

My hand pauses. "We have gone through the same pain."

"He lost his mom too?" Her head turns and her eyes meet mine.

"No, he lost his brother Andrew," I answer sadly, then turn her head gently back to facing forwards.

"Oh wow, I can't imagine losing Mateo, how old was Jordy?"

"He was about eleven too." I wrap my hand around a strand with a knot in it, tugging what I hope is gently enough to work it out.

"Wow," she breathes out the word, slightly shaking her head.

"He is strong though."

Silence fills the room again but Lizzie munching away makes me laugh while I'm still brushing her hair. Her naturally empathetic manner has me wondering if she's experienced loss, so I ask, "Have you lost someone?"

"Just my great grandparents," she murmurs quietly, dipping her head down.

"I'm sorry." My heart pinches slightly for her as I drag the brush down.  Again, weird but therapeutic.

"It's okay," she assures me but her sniffle suggests otherwise.

"Were you close to them?"

"Oh yes, I love their house." Her head turned slightly and she smiled brightly. "They had the best candy."

My chest bounces from how hard I laugh. "How do you still have any teeth?"

"I brush them, the whole candy giving cavities is a myth," she offers in that bossy nurse voice of hers.

"Is it now?" I say sarcastically then give Lizzie one last brush through. The hairbrush looks like it's caught a small animal in it, but I think I did pretty good. Her hair looks glossy and free of knots, so I tap her on the shoulder with the brush.

"Thank you for brushing my hair Jaylan."

"There's a kiss charge," I boast, making her turn around furrowing her brows at me.

I smirk and she pecks my lips like a chicken. I chuckle, press my lips against hers, and prolong the kiss. I softly kiss her lips as it just melts into mind and clasp my hand softly behind her neck. The motion between us is almost like she is trying to deepen the kiss so I laugh softly helping her out but she slowly pushes us away with her hairbrush. I chuckle and she hops off the bed, giving me a view of her ass and little to the imagination seeing a little bit of her ass hanging out her pajama shorts.

Now, if we were talking about last year Jaylan, I would have never offered to brush a girl's hair, let alone have her stay in my room without expecting anything in return. After care means intimacy, commitment, and well just being locked down but Lizzie deserves to be treated like royalty heck, more than royalty. I want to take care of Lizzie how she's been taking care of me and just, with brushing her hair, I want her to show my appreciation.

"I'm sleepy." Lizzie yawns, stretching her tiny limbs.

I lean forward to tickle her hips and she holds the brush in her hand like she is going to beat me. 

"What, you going to beat me? "I smirk arrogantly, accepting the challenge and imagining how easily I could toss her on the bed, pinning her down to hear her scold me in her preschool voice.

"Don't you underestimate me." She furrows her brows. "Dynamite comes in small packages."

I take the brush quickly, holding it over her head. She gasps, trying to reach up for it and jumping in the air. Her mangoes are legit giving me flashbacks from Sky Zone, this might have been a bad idea. "You pedo!(fart) give back."

"You threaten to hurt me, I'm telling Aunt Lisa."

"Not if I tell her you are doing this!" She jumps, out breath from trying to get it and then huffs, giving up.

Her aggressive defense is hugging me around my torso. But this hug makes me feel everything I tried not to feel once again after leaving the arena tonight. I lower my hands and wrap it around her body, rubbing her back and kissing her forehead. She flicks innocent eyes at me and snatches the brush, giggling and running to her suitcase.

I laugh, shaking my head at her naughty behavior and watch her as she moves around me. Silence fills the room as Lizzie cleans up our food mess and straightens up Jordy's area. She clicks off the lights, only leaving just the table lamp glowing. I get under the covers and she playfully gets in, scooting next to me and shoving these stuffed animals in my face.

I chuckle and pull her close to me, pushing them out the way but she grumbles, putting them close to us. Losing that battle, I reach over and click off the lamp. Darkness invades the room and the only sound is her breathing close to me. Her hand touches my face, the tips of her fingers rubbing my beard softly.

Under the heaviness that starts to drag me down, I kiss her hands and shut my eyes.

"How are you feeling?" she whispers.

"I honestly just want to cuddle with you, not feel anything," I admit honestly because I'd give anything just to remove this pain completely. It weighs me down every year.

I know she's sinking her teeth in her lower lip, but when she speaks, all I hear is a quiet confession, "Jaylan, the only way you can heal is to feel... I wouldn't say that if I didn't experience myself," she meekly says.

Trust her, is what she's basically saying.

Trust....

The word I've heard so many times but been deceived so many times.

But when Lizzie says it, the word is straight out of the pureness of her heart. She really wants nothing from me tonight other than to be here with me through my storm and that intensifies the heaviness in my chest. I reach my arms around her, tugging her close so her head rests on my chest this time.

"Goodnight, Lizzie," my voice rasps, releasing a single tear that trails down my face.

I don't know how she knows but her fingers lift up and wipe away the tear, followed by a soft press of her lips into my cheek.

"Goodnight, Jaylan."

Edited and spiced up by still_just_me