Damn, she's fine.

I smirk, watching Lizzie checking herself in the vizor and frown at the faint hickey on her neck that she keeps thinking is an allergic reaction from using my body wash.

Arrogantly grinning, I look down at my jeans before busting out in cackles.

I love her innocence.

Just when I thought the beautiful kazoo player was about to go to bed last night, she managed to get out of my grip to get a huge gallon-sized ziplock bag full of candy and ate it in my bed. From Swedish fish to rejecting the Fruit Chews she tossed at me to eat to a busted box of nerds, she refused to let me open.

Still found Nerds on my pillow in the morning and I think one got in my ear.

Shrugging my shoulder up to my ear, a smirk pulls across my face at the Stuffed Animal Legal Representative still focusing on her appearance.

The more I get to know Lizzie, the more she fascinates me.

For starters, when she says ahorita, it means in a minute, but it really means she's going to be a long, long time getting ready.

Lizzie likes fuzzy socks because she says they cuddle her feet but not in bed, which I find weird. She must be a serial killer.

Lizzie likes hopeless romantic movies like The Wedding Planner because she believes true love still exists in this day and age.

I'm starting to think that too.

She only likes pink bubble gum but it has to be tape so she can rip it off for the thrill and the best kind to blow bubbles. I beat her last night though, so that caused a whole bubble gum blowing contest for at least ten minutes until her bubble gum tape was completely gone.

I chuckle softly, drawing her attention, side eyeing me because I blew the biggest bubble and got it in some of her face.

"What's so funny?" She crinkles her nose, observing the other side of her beautiful face.

"You," I deadpan and she arches her brow, mumbling in Spanish.

Damn, her voice is taking me back to last night when she uttered all those naughty things last night. Why didn't I record it to translate?

I sure know one word though, Papi. It sounded better in person than I imagined. The thoughts of it escaping her lips as I wrap my hands over hers... slamming my hips, fu... relax, Jaylan, relax. But hearing her giggle it in my ear made my skin tingle.

I was surprised that she likes my hands, no they turn her on... I almost fell out of bed when she said she likes the way I open jars... But now I finally get the driving one handed and stroking my chin turn-ons.

If she likes all that, oh my hands do a lot more sexier things... and I can't wait 'till she finds out.

I lick my lower lip, observing Lizzie pulling a small clump of her mascara that's been bothering her the whole car ride here. "I told you I wasn't going crazy." She whimpers, showing her finger with the smallest dot on the tip. I playfully flick up her hand and she grunts at my asinine behavior.

Damn, she looks so fucking good.

I reach over, softly rubbing her thigh. She looks over at me with a relaxed smile and back at the vizor, putting my favorite flavor of chapstick up to her lips.

The best thing I find interesting from last night is Lizzie likes exploring sensuality. She likes being touched, grabbed, fondled, played with, and just feels sexy about it. She likes when she has my heated gaze on her. There's an unspoken confidence in her and I want to tap into that just as much as I want... to do so many other things with her.

She likes scalp and back rubs, ass massages, cuddling, holding hands, hugging, and kissing a lot. I couldn't ask for anything better. I'm so glad her second love language is physical touch.

What I admire the most is that she's aware of how shy she is and struggles to communicate what she likes, so I'm assuming the games she comes up with opens up the opportunity for her to be expressive. Whatever language she's using, I'm all in.

I'm not too sure what experiences she's had with other guys but I enjoy doing the baby steps between us. How comfortable she is with me and trusts me to touch her brings out a whole new level of sexy in her that, with her beautiful brain and heart, is exciting.

Moving at her pace instead of fulfilling my usual selfishness is different, but she's reteaching me about intimacy. Sometimes it makes me nervous because, if I'm her first boyfriend... I'm wondering if she is still a virgin. And, if she is, that's okay. I just need to slow down and I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

In the past, I never, never, ever touched or even looked at one since Gabrielle. We took both of our virginities, which was awkward and weird because her grandmother came home early from Bible study and almost caught us. But after I adventured out, I just couldn't handle taking someone's virginity, especially without commitment. I turned down tons of girls because I just would have felt really bad for doing it.

I thought I was fine after relieving myself in the shower before we played her game, but the feeling of her warm, soft breasts squished in my hand was everything I imagined they would be. Soft, grabbable, perky, bouncy, and large for her small, curvaceous body, each one was a full handful by itself.

And she had me suck her fucking toe. Shit, I don't ever go as far as that... Then she kissed my spot of weakness.

I shift my eyes again, with Lizzie singing along softly to some dude named Bad Bunny that she's been raving for me to play in my car because she said my car reminds her of a club. My heart literally fell out of my chest when she told me she went dancing the night she went skinny dipping with Maxine and Alexis. She was giggling up a storm last night from my reaction.

I'm glad she thinks my heart failure is a joke.

She even showed me a photo of them, not the one I wanted to see of her naked, honey-toned body dripping with water but her in this tight ass, satin, champagne dress hugging every curve. The fact the fucking Maxine hid her from me the whole time we went to Virginia Beach continues to blow my mind.

Looking at that innocent face looks like she could do no wrong, which is true.

Damn, I'm so lucky.

I bite my lip, taking in her attire tonight. She has on this black, long-sleeved shirt tucked into her jeans and her black heel boots give her a tiny bit of height. Her hair is straight, long, and silky. My fingers twitch, knowing I can't wait to run them through it. She finishes putting some of my favorite Chapstick on her lips, makes a kissing sound, and giggles.

"You ready?" I unbuckle my belt.

"I'm actually a little nervous," she shyly says, unbuckling her seat belt.

"Don't be. I got you." I send her a smirk, getting out of the car.

The cool air hits my face and I push up my hoodie a bit more, warming up a bit. I walk over to Lizzie's door and let her out the way mom always taught me. I smile thinking about how she would wait for me to open the door for her at the grocery store or any store rather.

The sparkle in Lizzie's brown eyes as I open the door is the same sparkle that drives me wild since the first time we met at her job. The neon blue and pink lights reflect in her brown eyes as she gets out the car, looking at me and retaining our eye contact, something we both can't get enough of. Especially last night, when her doe eyes got me and her in trouble.

"How did you find this place?" she asks, marveling out at the black night sky ahead of us, and I shut her door.

"I always see it driving past with Shawn sometimes going to see his grandfather in Virginia." I wrap my arm around her neck. She shivers and wraps her tiny arms halfway around me. I laugh and kiss her head. "We clean up his yard or house for him, like spring and fall cleaning."

"You help your friends a lot," she softly says, gently hitting her head underneath my arm as we.

Sometimes I don't feel like I help enough, especially the ones I've disappointed like Rashad. As much as we had our setbacks. Rashad is still my brother. I tried texting him this morning, just to check in, but he just left me on read. I truly understand where he is coming from, when you feel like no one understands losing a parent. It's not easy and I told him it wouldn't be easy. I guess he just hasn't hit the reality he needs someone or found something to work it out. I'm still learning that myself.

"I try to." I sigh quietly.

Her hip bumps me slightly with her next step. "It says a lot about you Jaylan."

"Like what?" I exhale sharply and glance down at her, expecting her to smile but she's beaming like she's discovering a secret.

"That you're dependable and loyal," she hits me with a solid compliment that I'm not expecting, but I tug her closer.

"You think so?" I softly ask.

Her head nods against my armpit and I can't help but smile at how she sounds like she's convincing me. "I think so. You committed to walk your neighbor's dog while he is away. Or when you drop me off to get ready, you still help Jordy get his project stuff at Target when he's doing it at the last minute. Or this morning, you helped me study and made me study when I just wanted to cuddle with you," she says sadly at the end and I just chuckle.

She definitely did, this morning she koala'd me, octopus-ed herself, and just did everything not to get up. It's wild how she's like a singing bird during the week but when it comes to the weekends, she sleeps in like a bear in hibernation.

Her compliment sobers me into the reality that I'm still a work in progress. "I wasn't always like that, Lizzie."

"But you're growing now, I can see it." She keeps beaming up at me, damn. "I admire that."

Warmth spreads across my chest as we step on the boardwalk to the Ferris wheel that's shining brighter close up, highlighting Lizzie's beautiful honey complexion face. "Thanks, Lizzie." I kiss her forehead and she rubs her hands on my jean jacket.

She lets go of my arm, handing me her phone knowing good and well what that means. Her hair flies off her back as she spins around freely and happily like I know she wants to be on the inside, even with a few things that are weighing her down. Once again, her dad called for the tenth time and she finally answered before I took her home to get ready tonight.

The sound of her voice crushed my heart, as they were softly bickering back and forth in Marcus' room for privacy. After their call ended, she whimpered and just sounded so sad, like she didn't know what else to do. I can tell that every time she talks to him, her light dwindles just a bit, but she tries to keep it burning brightly.

I do have to learn that she can't be my light for me because I have to be it myself. And that's going to be hard but I think spending time with Lizzie helps me discover my light each day.

"Here, hold it that way." She fixes her phone in my hand.

Being an ass, I tilt it and she furrows her eyebrows. She can't threaten me anymore with the stickers because guess who's earned twenty so quickly? That's right.

She even tried to peel one off but I just held the chart over her head and smacked her ass in return. To keep her from doing that again, I also hung it up high enough that she can't reach, even jumping on my bed.

In a moment that reminded me way too much of her jumping on the trampolines at Sky Zone, she tried. I let her for a few jumps because, well, it was a nice view.

We made an agreement in the car that we will have the sleepover the night before I leave. We both thought it was a good way to just spend time with each other. She even said she has more games up her sleeves....which I already know is going to leave me bricked up all the way to Indiana.

I'm not going to lie, I'm going to miss her voice, giggles, scolding... well, her cute version of scolding and just her presence. Very quickly she's warmed her way into my daily life, for the better. I know it's a stretch to believe it will be April 'till I see her but Lizzie specifically told me that we will have scheduled facetime and long distance dates. I lost count of the number of times she continued to emphasize 'scheduled.'

She told me that she will be very busy for midterms and I know she isn't lying. She's already stressing about this upcoming project and exam but the brainiac knows her shit, she just needs to believe it.

The girl has ninety-five percent in all her nursing classes.

I chuckle, thinking about how she was waving all these flashcards in my face, saying things about, 'Do you want me to save your life or not Jaylan' because I was rubbing her ass in my bed. My fantasy definitely came true, well partially, on some.

I share a grin and Lizzie gives me her famous, "Jaylaaaan," with her hand on her left hip. A slew of texts comes from her mom and then her dad... something in Spanish, then her mom again... and then her sister telling her to call her...

A text from Lexi flashes about 'Have a good time tonight, I'll see you tomorrow, I have your dice again!' and then another text from Maxine saying, 'Be home and be in my bed tonight be home at eleven!.' making me suck my teeth. I text her back quickly saying, 'Sorry, Jaylan's bed is more comfy.'

"Jaylan!" Lizzie says, catching me and I chuckle, sending the text anyway.

She turns and I take the photo to be an ass and she grumbles. I fix it and she does one of those VSCO sorority poses with the duck lips or holding up a peace sign? Now I know Alexis and Maxine did not show her that, especially with the photos they all take... Nah, I need to fix that because I'm not having them rag on me or her.

I look over to the railing near the ferris wheel's entrance. The Potomac's water looks black but the lights bounce off it. I take her hand and place her by the edge.

"Alright, tilt your head back, baby," I call out, framing the picture on her screen.

She arches her eyebrow but listens to my instruction,.While she's combing her straight hair with her fingers, I unsolicitedly take the photo. The ferris wheel highlights her honey complexion, making the photo look extra well to her liking.

A breeze catches and lifts her hair as she poses again and I take another picture. This one I send to myself. I didn't think it could get me stiff but it is... The streetlight and black night are framing her curves, her neck arching like she's offering it up, and....

Yeah, I'm hard.

Who am I kidding? It's Lizzie, even when she doesn't even mean to. She giggles and comes over to me, furrowing her brows whenI take her phone and tuck it in my jeans.

She grumbles and takes my hand roughly, for her, heading to the ferris wheel. Thankfully, the line is short because A, it's thirty three degrees, and B, it's thirty three degrees but that didn't stop us.

The sound of the water swishing from the window pulls Lizzie closer to me and I chuckle. "Jaylan, I don't know," she says unsure.

"We'll be fine." I try not to laugh, rubbing her back. I'm not sure she realizes that we'll be sitting in self-contained, close-door pods.

I take out my phone and do an Instagram story.

"Lizzie." I deepen my voice.

She looks up and covers her face, making me laugh and I finish the clip. Smiling at the video, you would never know the pain she hides so deep within. "Where are we anyway?"

"We are at the thinn line between Maryland, DC, and Virginia." I grin, making her eyes slant at me. I plant a soft kiss on her cheek again and she softly grunts at my spontaneous out of state adventures.

Shifting my eyes up, the view of the National Harbor is breathtaking, as the water reflects the starry night sky. I guess Lizzie is thinking the same thing and she leans back in my chest. I wrap my arms around her tiny body then rest my chin on top of her head while waiting for the next turn.

Moments like these with Lizzie will remind me when I'm away that after March Madness that there will be many more. I'm torn between feeling like things are moving too fast and like I've known Lizzie longer than I actually have. Either way, I'm glad she's my girlfriend now because I'd go crazy knowing she was available while I'm gone.

She's warmed her way into my heart, not just feeling like my close friend but my daily dose of a form of serotonin I didn't know existed. When she's not there, she's the first person I think of in the mornings and I'm happier when she's sleeping next to me, violent jungle gym climbing and all.

Damn, I sound whipped.

I laugh into the shell of her ear and she scrunches up her shoulder. "Beautiful." I continue to kiss her ear again, moving my lips gently around the shell, and her skin continues to grow warm.

Silence grows between us but our warm bodies make up for it. Her fingers toy with the grey strings of my hoodie and we step forward again, inching closer to the Ferris wheel.

"Let's see..." She pauses, tapping her finger on her chin and pretending she's thinking. "I know you like vegetables, rabbit food to be exact, like math, wear opposite socks for every game, head lock people in bed, umm, give good kisses, kind, know it all, giant tease." Every time she speaks, I just breathe in her ear, laughing, knowing she's right, and letting out the giggles I love the most.

"What else do you know?" I rasp.

"Mmmm, you're disciplined... focused... determined." She lightens up her words, lighting up my heart but I squeeze her tighter against me.

Bending down, my lips press into the top of her head, her hair tickling my chin. "That's kind of you to say."

Her eyes gaze off in the water but a smile pulls across her face. "That's all I'm saying."

"You forgot sexy," I tease, leaning down and kissing her on the neck.

"No, I didn't," she dismisses with a giggle while I tickle her.

"Welcome to Capital Wheel, how many will it be tonight?" A five foot eleven Aeropostale model attendant calls out to us from behind a glass window, shooting his eyes straight at Lizzie.

"Two."

"Okay, that will be forty dollars and sixty cents."

The guy opens the door on the car for Lizzie and she gets in. Right in front of me, his eyes drop and he shamelessly looks at her ass. I groan inwardly because she really wants me to fight Chad over here.

"Would you guys like beverages?"

"No thank you," Lizzie answers before I even ask what they had. Damn I could really have gone for one of the beers looking so cold in that refrigerator.

I chuckle because she is excited, staring out the window with her black hair cascading down her back. She turns back, seeing me squeeze in... barely. My head is practically on my shoulder, so I sit down. Thankfully, the guy shuts the door, giving us the pod to ourselves.

"How are you going to fit?" Lizzie giggles as I slump down in the seat, then stretch my legs out and bump my feet into the bench on the opposite side.

Don't say it, Jaylan.

I try my best to not turn it into a dirty comment so I just share a smirk, looking at her up and down. "Don't worry, sweetheart."

She rolls her eyes and scoots closer to me. I drape my arm around her shoulder and she leans in. The Ferris wheel begins to move, slightly rocking the pod and making Lizzie leap.

I laugh as one of her hands clings to my shirt. "Relax."

Some Indie instrumental fills the silence as we lift higher, offering more of the black water view around us. I rub her shoulder while she relaxes and tries to stretch her legs out like me, reaching her feet to the other bench, but hers stop way short.

Lizzie's eyes beam up at me, framed by her thick lashes. The ferris wheel lights pass over us, streaking highlights over her face and shiny black hair. My heart flips a little when her lips part. "This was a good idea, Jaylan."

The view is amazing but my eyes stay on the woman right in front of me that I want to know better. "It sure is, Nurse Lizzie."

She sighs with a soft smile and toys with my grey strings. Her lips press together and her eyes read like she wants to open up but she stays silent. I just kiss her head again to allow her time to fix her thoughts. "So, what made you choose the hardest major in the world?"

I'm positive that Lizzie has a reason. A young, single mother like my mom, her motivations were determined by support for my life and wanting to help Grandpa with his uncontrollable diabetes. I remember watching Mom so active in Grandpa's life, checking his sugar, preparing his insulin, and changing his diet. Mom was determined to be his home nurse when she finished and she kept her promise with Grandpa to the end and stayed with him 'till he passed away on Hospice.

Damn.

I'm sure Lizzie's story is just as compelling and I've wanted to know that about Lizzie from the first time I found out she was a nursing student.

Her eyes drop to where she's wrapping my strings around her fingers. "I like science."

She's not convincing me, so I tease, "But did you just wake up one day be like, I want to be a nurse so I can take care of a really hot NBA star?"

She giggles in my chest and sinks her teeth in her lower lip. "Nooo, it's more to it."

"You know my mom became a nurse because she wanted to take care of my grandfather?"

Lizzie's head pulls back and those gingerbread eyes finally lift to mine. "She did?"

"Oh yeah, my grandfather had uncontrollable diabetes." My eyes close for a moment. It happened so long ago but I have some memories of Mom's motivations. The one thing I remember is that Grandpa loved to eat and cook. No matter what it was, he would throw it down in the kitchen. It got him into trouble a lot with his sugar readings with Mom at night.

He always didn't like the diabetes recipe book. He said it tasted all dry and flavorless... Sounds like Lizzie. I wish he would have been able to meet her and Grandma too. They would have spoiled Lizzie, more than I do.

I softly smile at Lizzie and her lips turn down. "I'm sorry, Jaylan," she offers quietly, putting her hand on my closest thigh and patting gently.

"It's okay." Placing mine on top of hers, I cover it completely and she giggles.

The Indie music takes over again and she snuggles more under my armpit almost like it is a cubby hole for her. I softly rub her shoulder to ease her small trembles.

"I actually wanted to be an astronaut for the longest time," she tosses out in a completely serious voice and straight face.

I tried to hold my composure about how serious she is right now but she giggles from me, straining not to laugh.

"I know, how silly," she says sheepishly.

"Lizzie, I think you'd be great." I release a sly grin.

"Go ahead, laugh it up" Lizzie grunts, cupping her mouth and holding back her giggles.

Warmth spreads across my chest and I throw my head back and laugh. She follows after, placing her hand on my chest. The mental image of Lizzie bouncing on the moon in a spacesuit, capturing the moment for sure, isn't helping.

"Oh really?" I can't hold back and cackle, which earns me a swat of her hand in my chest.

"Yeah." She nods and smiles, but her eyes look anything but happy. "I had application papers signed for NASA and everything."

My shoulders bounce a few times from a few more laughs. "Why did you want to become an astronaut, babe?"

"Many reasons, the plants, the moon, it's silent... and even wanting to see the blue sunsets on Mars!" Her excitement fades and sadness fills her eyes and fades her smile. "And you can't smoke up there either."

Just the shift of her tone shoves the roar of laughter down my throat. She sighs softly, adjusting herself on my arm and resting her head against my chest.

"That's true." I clear my throat a bit.

"Papà actually is the one who changed my mind about becoming an astronaut," She softly begins, her eyes filling with sadness before she drops them. The look in her eyes tugs at my heart of what she may reveal.

"How come?" I ask gently, rubbing my hand softly on her shoulder.

"Just his health, and not being able to manage it well." Her voice heightens a bit, pulling my heart and wondering if Lizzie's dad is sick.

If her dad is sick, it's got to feel worse because she's a thousand miles away from home.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie." I sigh apologetically. She softly whimpers and I hold her close to me. She looks up at me and I look at her. Her iris lit up every breath she took like it was hard to explain. I've honestly been there, especially talking about my mom. I stroke my thumb over her chin and she tucks her chin down and leans back into me.

"It's his fault, oh look," she softly replies, closing her eyes. She points at the stars decorating the night sky almost like she wanted to end the topic there. I adjust my arms around her to continue and she looks at me like she didn't want too but I brush the strands in her face in assurance

"Why is it his fault?" I question softly.

Her chest lifts as she breathes in slowly, then exhales loudly. "Because he won't stop smoking and it's been really hard on our family." Her voice painned causing my throat to dry a bit.

Anytime someone is addicted to drugs, sex, gambling or something to occupy their mind, they're blocking out what they don't want to feel. I know because I'm trying to get out of that mindset. It's easier said than done and no one path heads out of the darkness without light.

I empathize where she is coming from how one little thing can hurt the family especially if a parent doesn't think of their actions.

Lizzie isn't revealing any new information but I feel like there's a piece I'm missing, what's personally hurting her. "I know you said that before, but is there a reason why he won't stop?"

"No, I just feel like he does it to just do it. Trying to cope when there are so many things he could cope with but he chooses that." Her shoulders lift and the closest one bumps gently against me. "It's recreational for him, it always has been."

I softly kiss her cheek hoping that helps her relax because since knowing Lizzie, communication is what she struggles with. I don't know if it's because she feels like her thoughts and feelings don't matter, which they do and I want her to know that.

"Do you feel like he chooses cigarettes over you and your family?" I quiz, and the trembling of her arm against my skin sends uncomfortable vibrations to me.

"All the time." She whimpers, "Lately, he doesn't even appreciate the fact he's still alive," she mumbles and closes her eyes.

Her words crush my heart, thinking her life is meaningless compared to cigarettes. Lizzie's life to me is worth more than rubies, finer than gold, and a diamond in the rough. She doesn't deserve to feel like a second option to tobacco. No one's child should ever have to feel like that from one of their parents. What Lizzie and I both have in common is fighting for somebody's attention who just doesn't want to give it.

Since I still don't feel like I have the whole picture, I press, "What do you mean?"

"I...well.. It's hard to explain."

I didn't want to push but how she's trembling beneath me almost reminds me of how I couldn't stop shaking when discovering my mom. She shifts more into me and I rub the side of her arms.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

She gazes her big doe eyes up at me, glossing over and turning lighter brown, like brown sugar. Seeing the hurt she stuffs down and suffocates with joy, strikes a pain into my chest. Without saying a word, she looks away and sniffles. "I don't know where to begin."

The hopeless empty feeling Lizzie feeling of just not feeling cornered resides in me because anytime when I feel like no one can give me a clear answer I shut down and numb it out.

I kiss her temple and she sighs sorrowfully, the sound twinging my heart.

What Lizzie and I have in common is that family is supposed to be our safe haven but it's not. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache.

"Our family isn't a bad family, we just have problems like everyone does," Lizzie voice strains.

"I know," I console.

"W... w...we were never like this. never" She sniffles quietly.

She clasps onto our hands, like she wants me to believe and I do. She told me last night how her family used to have family dinners after they went to church similar to how I used to with Mom, Uncle Steve, Aunt Lisa, and my grandparents.

I'm thankful Uncle Steve still keeps that tradition. After they go to church, they stop at Saint Alphonsus Cemetery to visit Mom, Grandpa, and Grandma. Sometimes they even eat lunch there together. They always tried to get me to go sometimes but I couldn't bear to be there without feeling the heavy weight of them just not being here.

"It's just Papá wouldn't stop smoking and...Mamá couldn't take anymore because Isabela's asthma has gotten worse over the years." She exhales sharply.

"Mamà kept putting us in an awkward situation everytime she talked about Papá's smoking habits. It's like picking between cake and ice cream, like why not an ice cream cake? Mamá is not a bad person, she just...I don't know."

I'm sure her father loves all his children and the way Lizzie explains how he would go lengths for them to have special things says a lot. No part of me thinks her father is intentionally hurting her but maybe he can't see past his own struggles.

I kiss her forehead and she hums, trembling her lips softly. The waves remind me the first time I saw her getting ready to cry when I fucked up. The tug in my heart aches, watching her brush some strands out of her face. Her body curls up more into me and I hug her tightly.

"I'm sorry."

She hums again in sadness quietly and shifts her body. "Isabela had a really bad asthma attack one night and Mamá really was mad at Papá for triggering... it...but it was just us running away from him because we were playing tag and Mamá blamed him because of the smoke fumes from his clothes.... He said he was sorry."

Her gaze directs out the window next to her but her eyes hold a faraway look. "They argued so much that night after dinner... It was a rainy day... It was supposed to be a good night but... Papá and Mamá wouldn't stop fighting. We were in Abuela's room and they were fighting really, really bad..... Mamá broke some of her wedding dishes on the walls... yelling and screaming at Papá." She clears her throat and I kiss her forehead.

The vibrations of her shaking pulse up my arm. "It's okay, Lizzie. We don't have to talk about it."

She looks up at me and the eyes of brown sugarful sorrow just hit me. "No... it's only fair Jaylan."

"Only share what you can..." I assure her because there's no 'I share, you share' rule in relationships. No matter how much I want to know, she has to feel comfortable telling me.

Aunt Lisa said those exact same words to me, when I couldn't get the words out after being traumatized from replaying my mother's death over and over again.

"Umm...Mamá was screaming on top of her lungs that she doesn't want to deal with it anymore... None of us did... and she said she wanted a..."

Lizzie's voice breaks as her eyes shine over with tears. She couldn't even say the word but I knew where she was going. "It's alright Lizzie, take your time."

"A divorce," she finishes as a single tear tips over the edge of her lashes, then trails down her cheek, which I catch with my thumb.

Stillness fills the pod with her lightly sniffling. Wetness coats my thumb wiping her cheeks as it comes down.

"It shocked Papá so much, it produced a myocardial infarction and.... I don't think I'll ever recover from hearing a broken dish again or hearing somebody hit the floor."

I know what she means.

Even the sound of a guy tripping and falling on the court reminds me of the heavy, lifeless impact sound of my mom's body falling off the sofa.

"When we went to go see what happened, Papá had his heart over his chest and he was gasping for air," she whispers so softly, I lean over to catch her words "The color drained right out of him.... And he stopped breathing.... Nobody knew CPR but I read a book in school about it and I performed CPR.... He wouldn't wake up... I - I -"

With a raspy sob, she bursts into tears. Turning her head into my chest, her shoulders pitch silently. I rub her back and all she keeps saying is, "I tried and tried."

My throat tightens because I didn't even know the first step to try and save my mom. At least she knew what to do... she saved him, at the expense of damaging her.

"Lizzie, the best thing is he's here now," I remind her gently.

She whimpers, squeezing her eyes tighter shut. With my index finger, I lift her chin to look at me. The pain in those eyes kills me but she needs to know I'm in her corner, just like she is in mine. "Lizzie, I'm very sorry you went through that, baby..."

I think I finally understand that Lizzie's watching her dad slip downhill slowly, even after she brought him back up. I can certainly relate to how helpless she must feel.

"There are no words I can say to magically make it better...."

The pool of tears in her eyes seems like what I said is so meaningful, shading hers to that warm, gingerbread color. "And I know a divorce sounds scary to you... Nobody ever deserves to feel heartache like that... and I know... Everyone deserves family."

She hums, letting the tears stream down her eyes. The sight stuffs up my nose a bit because someone like Lizzie deserves to have a loving family, given how loving and kind she is.

"Don't give up," I whisper hope into her and it's speaking to me as well. "You are not alone in this. I'm here."

That's what she needs.

Tears continue to dampen her cheeks and I softly kiss them.."The most honorable thing is that your pain turned into passion to become a nurse. That's what makes a good nurse, your heart."

She flicks her eyes back and forth at me, looking at me like she doesn't believe me. "Jaylan."

I take her chin in between my thumb and index finger, tipping her gaze straight into mine. "It's true, Lizzie."

"He doesn't make me feel like I could be a good nurse," she whispers, her voice husky with tears.

"You can't be responsible for what your patient does... It takes adherence." I cup her face and swipe away some strands of her hair that are sticking to her damp cheeks.

"I wish it would be soon." she softly says

"In due time." I whisper in her ear.

She softly whispers, 'thank you' and lazily falls on top of me, hugging me tightly. I chuckle, laughing but I lift her up and point out to the wide-open view because our car is nearly at the top now. From here, we see straight into Virginia, the white highway bridges contrasting the black night sky and water.

"Quick!" She panics and smashes her lips on mine unexpectedly, making me laugh in between her attacks of kisses.

I don't know what came over her but I take control, gripping her chin and covering her mouth with mine. Deepening the kiss, tasting that sweet Chapstick I like from her, I kiss her back slowly and gently. Her lips part, so I push my tongue into her mouth as she does the same, well, tries too. Each time gets better with her kissing and I can't get enough of it, although my mind is completely confused right now.

My hands move on their own and pull her over to straddle my lap, cupping right over my favorite place to hold on her. Her tiny arms cage my neck and I pull back, capturing the flustered look in her eyes. With one hand still on her ass, I lift the other and brush some strands out of her face.

She bites her lower lip, flickering her eyes at me. The friction her hips press into mine makes me stiff all over again, like always, flooding warmth through me. Leaning in, she initiates kissing me again. I cup her ass again, squeezing my favorite support system. It really does fit perfectly in my hands. The soft presses of our lips connecting echoes through the ferris wheel as we float down from the top.

Slight vibrations roll through my mouth as she moans softly, making my hands squeeze a little bit tighter on her butt. My heart pounds louder and internally my body is groaning all over.

"Does Naughty Lizzie always come out this late?" I joke, pulling back from her kiss.

"Only when she is with her boyfriend." She bites one finger between her lips.

"Oh really?" I laugh, pulling her into me and smashing her tits against my chest. She teasingly winds her hips over mine, rubbing a warm friction in the right place. I arch my brow but internally I'm holding back with all my restraint that I squeeze her closer and flex my hips into hers for the full effect.

"Mmm-hmm." She bites her lower lip.

I've created a monster.... A beautiful monster, who diverted us from the conversation.

I lift one hand and skim my fingers over her hair, tucking a few strands behind her ear. "Hey...all serious though, Lizzie..."

Tracing her lower lip with my thumb, I pull back and look straight into her eyes. "I hate saying this, but everything will be okay.... I mean, not the way you want it but things will turn out good. Limit your expectations a little bit on your dad, it will free you."

"But hey, I'm here for you." Her eyes study me for a long time like she's searching for my intentions. My heart beats harder with each second of silence that passes, until she nods and gives me a soft smile.

She flickers her eyes at me, life sparkling into them one more time. She nods, kissing my lips again and slowly gets off my lap. "Thanks Jaylan. For... being here."

My chest lifts with a slow, deep breath and I exhale sharply, adjusting myself as soon as her eyes shift out the window. Slowly reaching over, I tug her against me again. "Your welcome, Lizzie."

Edited and spiced up by still_just_me