Content Warning

*Lizzie playing games || Mild Mature Content

*Sensitivity to the topic of parents getting a divorce.

I think Uncle Steve officially has a food baby.

Uncle Steve faceplants on the table and Aunt Lisa softly rubs his back similar to what I do to Jaylan when he eats too much.

Everyone groans with bellies full, especially Uncle Steve, who had the most tacos and flautas out of everyone at the table. His shirt is slightly tight and Jaylan has been teasing him all evening. I softly touch his hand to calm down for misbehaving when he pokes his uncle's tummy.

I still need to draft up his new behavior chart. He has been slipping.

"Looks like I'm going to be driving." Jaylan's Aunt Lisa snickers.

"Lizzie, I'm going to have to do like a full body workout after this, Maxine whines, rubbing her tummy.

My cheeks grow warm looking around the table of everyone on a corn tortilla high.

"Thanks, baby." Jaylan kisses my cheek softly and leans back in his chair.

"I think I'm going into a food coma." Jordy plants his forehead on the table.

"We forgot ice cream!" I beam.

"Lizzie, Uncle Steve is about to bust," Jaylan teases, with a sly smirk at his Uncle.

"Boy, get out here with that," Uncle Steve grumbles.

Aunt Lisa nudges Uncle Steve like I do to Jaylan too about being polite. He clears his throat and sends me a warming smile. "Wow, Lizzie. It was delicious." He rubs his belly and I giggle.

"You're welcome! I hope you have plenty to take home," I reply.

"You gave us a lifetime supply until graduation, now I don't have to cook." Aunt Lisa beams, patting his shoulder.

The g-word just doesn't sit with me, considering I haven't even asked Mamá or Papá about it. I was going to ask her about how to roll the flautas perfectly until Señor Ricardo walked into our conversation, putting in his input on how he does it. I didn't find that polite and I'm still mad at Mamá for not stopping it.

She thought it was cute.

Clearing the bee in my throat, I let out a soft smile.

"Gosh, that would be amazing if you could get your mom to cook finally!" Maxine gushes, and I nod softly.

I really hope they drop this subject.

"Aww they are coming? I'm sure she would be lovely, just like you." Aunt Lisa asks.

I bite the inside of my cheek, shrinking into Jaylan's arms. "Umm, I... I haven't asked yet, so just my sister and brother are coming."

Jaylan softly rubs my shoulder. "Tickets are going on sale soon and knowing my family, they'll probably want a whole section." Lexi shakes her head and Stephen kisses her cheek.

My smile fades because Lexi's family is very supportive of every decision she decides to do. I wish my family was that way, believe it or not they weren't really thrilled I was going to America but.. I had to get away and I had to have a future.. And I couldn't stay in that environment anymore, not by a long shot.

"Well, Lizzie, we can save extra seats for your parents if they decide to come. So we can be loud together, cheering the both of you on," Aunt Lisa brings back the conversation.

"As long as Uncle Steve doesn't fall down the balcony, it's fine by me," Jaylan teases and I shift my eyes, wondering if he has done that before.

Everyone laughs as I try to pull my smile back up. I look down and Jaylan's hand softly touches my knee. As everyone continues to talk about graduation and their family it was almost like background noise. Jaylan leans into my ear, sending warm vibrations down the side of my neck. "You want to wash dishes?"

Oddly, that turns me on, just there, but mixed emotions are also swirling inside me. I shift, looking up into his brown sugar eyes. Nodding, we stand up while everyone is recovering from their food coma. Jaylan leads me into the kitchen, holding my hand. A few bees travel up to my throat the more I think about my parents coming to graduation separately.

Am I supposed to seat them far apart? Are they even speaking now? Who do Isabela and Mateo sit with? I just don't know. 

Glancing over my shoulder, I notice Jaylan's shoulders slump slightly while taking some pots off the stove. I sink my teeth in my lower lip because the weight of both of our hearts for family speaks so loud right now, even in the midst of laughter and conversation.

Jaylan comes over to me, squeezing in the tight space by the sink. His body heat radiates off mine as his arm touches mine.

"You're so big," I tease quietly.

He looks down at me with an arch eyebrow and dips a pot into the warm, soapy water. "You would be big if you ate your vegetables," he claps back, making me cup my hand and pushing water landing on his wrist.

Jaylan gets behind me and puts his arms on each side of me, pressing his front against my back.  I let out a smile, looking down and washing at the stained pot from the inside and out with this dish wand. The smell of Dawn's green apple soap fills my nose as I press down on the pot to get the stain. Jaylan and I work together, moving in a circular motion on getting it out.

"Thank you for today, Lizzie. It means a lot." He kisses the top of my head.

A soft smile spreads across my lips, as our hands work together on the dish. His is so much larger, wrapping over mine. I'm not sure how but he's holding gently even while pushing firmly.

"Guess it's better than rabbit food, huh?" I tease quietly and he flicks water on me. I softly grunt as we finish on the pot and start on the next. The tranquil sound of the water sloshing around dampens the mood of both of us.  

"Definitely was," he rasps, sending chills down my spine. "I can't wait to meet your sister and brother at graduation."

His words freeze me where I stand. Stillness fills between us as heI lifts the clean pot onto the drying rack. 

"Me too," I softly say, thinking of the moment I run up to them hugging them at the airport.

"What about your parents?" he asks casually but the words are so heavy in my ears, I close my eyes.

"I don't know." I open my eyes again but the dishes blur in front of me.

"I'm sure they would love to see you walk across the stage." He's right but it just doesn't look like that in my mind, where I can't see past what happens after the end of their marriage.

My fingers tremble as I release another clean pan into the water. "But they're not together."

"It would still mean the world to them, Lizzie." He picks the pan up, rinsing it off and setting it aside.

When I whimper softly, he pauses us washing dishes by interlocking his fingers over mine on both hands. "Don't hold onto them because of their mistakes. No one is going to look at you any differently. I won't and you know Maxine and Alexis won't either. Neither Aunt Lisa or Uncle Steve"

Tears rise up in my eyes and when I admit words that I know are silly, they sound husky, "I just want them together, Jaylan."

"I know, Lizzie. I know, baby," he comforts me, squeezing his fingers against mine.

"It's not fair...." The tears trail over my cheeks, so I turn my head and rub them into my shoulders.

"It's not," he says quietly, tightening his arms around mine.

My chin dips down, pulling my head forwards because the bees are roaring up my throat. Silently, Jaylan leans over, wrapping his larger frame around mine. He doesn't say anything further but I don't need him to. Maxine and Lexi are amazingly supportive but he's the first person who I feel understands my isolation.

And the fact I am not good at explaining it but he still understands means more to me than any words could express.

He breaks out silence and softly asks, "Are you still spending the night?"

"Only if you want me to," I answer truthfully.

He chuckles, bouncing his chest against my shoulders. "Is that even a question?"

"Oh, I forgot about the candy game," I tease.

"ALRIGHT EVERYBODY OUT!" Jaylan shouts and I giggle.

Mi Novio

━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━

I knew this tank top would be too small around my mangoes.

Molds to large breasts... SHEIN lied.

Grunting and pulling up my Cami, I reflect myself in Jaylan's bathroom mirror as my black, multicolored dinosaur Cami and short set are halfway on my body. And by halfway, the shorts are hugging my conga drum nicely, with a cute scalloped edge.

The top however, nearly strangles me as I pull it down overhead. My left elbow gets stuck, pulling my arm through it, which I hoped stretched the top but this is harder than putting on a sports bra after a shower. Grunting, panting harder, and practically sweating, I finally yank it into place.

Great, now he can see between them.

Lexi grabbed the wrong pajamas. I told her I wanted my banana ones.

Frowning, I bump my funny bone into the door.

"¡Ay!" I whimper at the radiating pain that shoots out from my elbow, painting up my arm.

"Doc, what are you doing in there!" my impatient boyfriend frets from the other side of his bathroom door.

"¡Ahorita! (in a minute)," I grumble, only to hear him softly chuckle while I'm whimpering softly.

"Imma eat all this candy," he taunts, but I hear a bag crumpling open.

"Jaylan Alexander!" I scold. He laughs again but he won't be laughing if I go to bed.

I didn't think Jaylan would be this eager to play a game. I don't even know what I'm going to do with all this candy. He rushed up the stairs like a kid for Christmas, without cleaning the rest of the dishes or saying goodbye to his aunt or uncle or anyone else until he told everyone don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I couldn't even reach the sticker chart to take some off for that. But I'm glad he asked me to stay the night. I really need his trachea-crushing arms around me to make me feel warm and just comforted.

I originally bought the candy for stress relief because of all the problems arising at home. So I hope the President of the yucky grass food club, okay, we don't play anything involving candy tonight and just eat candy just because.

I sigh, spitting out my tooth paste and reflecting myself in the mirror, observing my frown.

Isabela has been blowing up my phone all day about Mamá and Señor Ricardo this... and Mamá and Señor Ricardo that. I don't know what more she wants me to do 1,910.5 miles away. As much as I want us to try to save our parents' marriage, I can't, we can't.

I wish Isabela and I could team up together like Hallie and Annie in the Parent Trap. That's why I like that movie so much because their divorced parents found what they loved the most, that their children mattered to them and what they did to them was unfair.

I sigh softly, thinking I can't even help Isabela to pull pranks on Señor Ricardo like put rocks in his pillow or even a fake snake in the shower. He isn't a mean person, he's just not Papà. I know I am the big sister but I don't like having the pressure of feeling like I have to do something about what is changing in our family.  I didn't realize the amount of responsibility I would have to have especially right now because well no one ever expects their parents to get a divorce, I know I didn't.

I don't know what else to do or say, Read a Road Map Day didn't go as I planned and now look where we are.  I can only imagine the amount of stress Papà is under. He even asked me for sixty three pesos again because he ran out of money to buy himself a pack of cigarettes.

I....I.... sent it to him.

I know, I know. I just don't want Papà stressed and that's only thing he can cope wit-

My shoulder slumps at the stomach-churning sensation of the bees fighting with the butterflies. Jaylan's bathroom blurs under the hot tears that rise up in my eyes.

Just like usual, Papà covers joy over his sadness and grief. Even though we have our arguments about his habits and turning his health around, he needs a support system with everything he has going on, physically and emotionally.

With all this added stress, I don't wan-

No, no Lizzie, think positive, he is fine...

I sigh again, blinking and releasing the tears. They roll trails down my cheeks.

Having your parents divorce while in college is the worst.

Taking a deep breath, I shut my eyes because it becomes clouded and blink a few times. I swallow down the bees stuck in my throat, then wash my face clean. After I smile in the mirror, I open the bathroom door, and stop as soon as I step out.

Big Dinosaur is sprawled out, eating some peach rings. He's lying on his tummy with his conga drum in the air and typing on his phone.

The twinkle lights illuminate the room, highlighting his shirtless, tattooed back and drying my mouth up because his Nike shorts cling to his muscular thighs. His conga drum looks so fit in them too. My eyes trace down all the bumps and shadows that move as he shifts.

How can someone back's look so sexy like that? Look at the curves in his spine and tattoos.

Warmth spreads across my cheeks, down my neck, and fans out over my chest at how relaxed his muscles are after his long day. It was supposed to be a happy day for him and I'm sad for him that his mom is also here to celebrate.

He's so open at admitting he's sad. I wish I could be like Jaylan and communicate my emotions.

I know it's hard for him to feel grief but he just lets it out so easily. And the true, free flowing feelings he has, I want too. I just don't know how to communicate with him how I feel.

I sink my teeth in my lower lip and I crawl on to the bed, making it dip softly but not enough for him to notice. Maybe I shouldn't scare him but....

"Hi," I softly squeak at him.

Jaylan jolts, tossing the peach rings all over the bed, making me furrow my eyebrows. "Fuck... I mean, frick, damn it... Dang it, Elizabeth," he flusters out, erupting giggles deep within me.

The peach rings scatter as he moves and I frown at him for spilling them all. He furrows his brows at me and I grin wide, playfully slipping a peach ring in my mouth. 

"Serves you right for eating them without me." I poke his back one jab at a time.

He takes his hand and connects it to my conga drum, the soft smack echoing through the entire room. I giggle and shimmy my body under his arm. He sloppily kisses my cheek, making me crinkle my nose.

"Be a good girl," he says in my ear and I press my face on his arm, grunting.

"I am a good girl."

He playfully presses his lips, which melts as he sizes me up with his eyes. My skin warms as he keeps looking at me. He licks his lips, showing off his million dollar smile.

"I like your pajamas," he says, playing with the ends of my shorts. His finger traces over the scalloped edge on my hip, making my skin tingle with goosebumps.

"You do? I think my banana ones are better," I softly say.

He traces higher up the lining of the bottom of my shorts. Feeling his prickly finger near my conga drum is making my skin grow warmer and the butterflies slowly going down to my ovaries.

"I can't wait to see those too," he husks gravely, making the butterflies in my tummy a little wild and the bees to go back to their hive.

He softly touches my thigh, those scratchy pads of his fingers gliding up and down like sandpaper. I should give him a manicure.

I flicker my eyes, looking up at him through my eyelashes and meeting his darkening eyes. I lean up, my lips meeting his, which are already waiting for me.

"Did you have fun tonight?" I pull back and softly trace my finger on the flower tattoo.

"I.... did," he says, grunting like an old man.

With one turn over and a grab of my waist. I'm straddling on top of him. My thighs press over his hips and I'm sitting right on his lap.

I sink my teeth in my lower lip as Jaylan's warm, prickly hands touch the sides of my waist.  His eyes survey my face down to my tummy and softly strokes his fingers on the sides of my waist.

I nod softly, and he lets out a soft smile. "You know my Aunt and Uncle like you, especially Aunt Lisa." His thumb presses and applies pressure on my side, making me giggle.

"She does? Better than you?" I place my hands near my mouth.

I like her too.

Jaylan sucks his teeth. "Not better than me."

"You sure?" I speak in my hands.

Jaylan pulls my hands down slowly and smirks. "She definitely does. So much that she told me you can stay whenever you want with them while I'm away. She will even pick you up and you can study there." He taps my nose and I sink my teeth in my lower lip again.

Jaylan's Aunt Lisa is just what I need right now.

I actually had a really nice conversation about home after Jaylan tried to kick everyone out. She held her nose and told him to take a shower, which he listened to while she stayed and talked to me.

She wanted to know more about how I had overcome my homesickness, which I'm still slightly struggling with. She must have known my heart hurt a little when Mamá tried calling me back and I pressed Ignore.

The words to describe how I'm feeling swirl through my head, over and over, but just don't come out of my mouth. I feel like I am watching my family move in separate directions. But, when my parents call, I just can't bear to talk to them about what they are doing to us.

I definitely won't forget Aunt Lisa's encouraging words that she said to me, "Sometimes people don't realize you are the glue in your family until things don't stick together."

Isn't that the truth.

I can't get over how Mamà thought It was okay to invite Ricardo into our conversation earlier. When I call, it's specifically for just her and I did not want him to join in. Even though he only put in his opinion on what to put in the carne asada, I wanted Mamá's version. It hurts me that she doesn't value our FaceTime moments together anymore and it just makes me not want to talk to her at all.

She's acting like nothing is happening at the end of the month, the finality of her tearing our family apart, and that bothers me. I know it's bothering Papa, by the way he's going through more cancer sticks.

"Are you okay?" Jaylan strokes my chin, his eyes remaining the sugary brown they do whenever he's concerned.

He's looked at me like that a few times, every time he watches me decline my calls. I nod and try to move but his hands stay secure on my waist. "I'm just tired."

He flickers his eyes, knowing that it is not the truth. He is good at reading me now and he pries me open like a pickle jar with ease, to get me to open up.

"Too tired for one of these?" He smirks, holding up a sour twist.

I know I just brushed my teeth but he knows my weakness. I reach for it but the big sneak slips one end into his mouth, then lifts up the dangling end towards me.

Is he serious? How would he know...

I don't second guess his offer, lean forwards, and take the other end in my mouth. Giggles shake my shoulders as we lean in closer, our mouths chewing slowly until Jaylan takes a bigger bite, brushing his lips against mine.

My lips press his gently, then I pull back and smile at him. He honestly really just made me kiss him like Lady and the Tramp with candy. Surely he saw my pinterest.

I take another sour twist and balance it on his nose and it teeters back and forth, making me snicker. He places one on my nose. "Alright, first one to eat it gets to kiss first."

"Jaylan how... HEY!"

I grunt as I watch him halfway chewing, almost getting in his mouth. I crinkle my nose and it rolls easily in my mouth. A smile pulls across my face because I win his little game.

"Somebody's not tired," he teases.

"Still am." I giggle and he presses his fingers into my sides, making me giggle more.

"What about the game?" He pokes out his lip and I couldn't say no to that.

He shifts his eyes at me and pushes a few strands out of my face, circling his thumb on my cheeks. I tilt the side of my face onto my shoulder and he lets out a soft chuckle. I lean over into the Party City bag and grab the pack of gummy bears. He sits up, shifting me to where we are now at eye level and presses his forehead against mine.

"There is no game, I just made it up for the candy," I admit.

I giggle, slipping a red gummy bear in my mouth, only for him to tickle me, forcing me to spit it out onto his chest. He wrinkles his face and laughter echoes through his room as he wipes it off. I slip an orange gummy bear into his mouth with him licking my fingers in the process. Silence takes over the room, with just faded R&B music in the background.

"I have a game, Candy Bandit." He presses his forehead against my forehead again, lining up the bridge of his nose against mine but even that of his is bigger.

I tilt my head back, lifting up my shoulder up slightly. "What game?"

"Called Would You Rather." He perks up with his voice.

"How do you play that?" I slip another gummy bear in my mouth, only for Jaylan to pull it out from between my teeth to eat it.

Oh, the germs.

I crinkle my nose and he smirks with chipmunk cheeks.

"Gives you options of what you would rather do in certain circumstances. If you answer then you get whatever gummy bear you want but if you don't answer then you have to eat a sour head." He swallows with ease and I watch as his throat muscles contract and relax with the movement.

Why are his throat muscles attractive too?

I crinkle my nose and he smirks, adjusting me on his legs so now he is leaning against the headboard for him to be more comfortable. My eyes flicker around his face, taking in his more relaxed muscles and brighter eyes. I take his brush-groom beard and light brown lips as he swipes his tongue over them, making the butterflies smile really big at him.

"Alright.... Would you ratherrrr eat broccoli or green beans?"

I slant my eyes at Jaylan, who tosses his head back and laughs. Crinkling my nose, I plead the fifth and take a green sour head packet and open it. I stick in my mouth and crinkle my face from the sour sweet apple salvatiating my mouth. Jaylan cackles and holds my waist as the sourness diminishes. "But you ate Aunt Lisa's green beans."

"That's because it had flavor," I answer honestly.

"Ahhh, so the trick is to make sure vegetables have flavor." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I grunt and he softly laughs, kissing me on my forehead.

He's so kissy lately. But I like it.

"Okay.... would you rather explore outer space or explore the deep sea?" I release my strained eyes and suck on the sweet apple candy now.

"Hmmmm..  Good question." He adjusts his arms around me, hugging me close to his warm, hard chest.

I like how he makes me feel when he cuddles me, I feel like I'm the only girl in the world to him. "Let's see. Space seems pretty cool but I also would love to see what's in the deep parts of the ocean too, like the hidden things in the dark place of the ocean.. So I'm going with the ocean."

His eyes narrow at mine, flickering his light brown irises and looks down softly.

"Hadalpelagic Zone or, well, the trench zone?" I cover my mouth at the blurted out nerdiness and Jaylan smirks softly.

"Don't cover your mouth," he pulls my hands down and cups my cheek in his large, scratchy hand. "Why do you do that? I like how smart and curious you are."

He tucks some strands behind my ear. My butterflies are spinning in circles getting dizzy right now.

Back at home, and even here, guys really are really put off by a girl knowing knowledge. Papa told me I spent too much time with my nose in books. Spencer was even taken back and I really thought he would have appreciated it. But Jaylan liking my knowledge about science makes me feel more confident about having a smart brain.

"Thank you," I said softly and he takes his index finger and middle finger, tilting up my chin to meet his eyes.

"Lizzie, I appreciate your beautiful brain." He plants a kiss on my forehead. "Don't be ashamed of it."

He makes my tummy feel all weird when he says things like that. It's like the butterflies drank too many margaritas.

"You liking the ocean explains a lot about you," I confess.

"Oh really, like what?" He licks his lower lip with a smile.

My cheeks grow warm at his intense stare, causing me to look away. "Water can inspire us to be more compassionate and connected. Flowing freely, it allows us to be calm, open, seeking depth, wisdom, and, most of all, rest." I toy with his chain and he plants a kiss on my fingers.

Jaylan takes a deep breath and his lips pull up at the corners. I know I just boosted his ego but I meant every word.

"What would you rather? Space or ocean, babe?" Jaylan toss back my question with a deviant smirk

I crinkle my nose at the b-word. "I like space."

"I know one reason why you don't like space... but what else makes you like it?"

"Just the vast beauty of it," I admit softly. "There's so much out there, it's endless."

"I can see that... Space is mysterious and there are secrets up there, untapped, and it's unexplored. And the stars shining so brightly in darkness reminds me of someone like you." He strokes my chin.

I'm not sure if I have a second-degree atrioventricular heart block or Jaylan's really good with his words.

"See? I can get deep like you." He grins big and presses his long fingers into my sides, making me giggle.

I blink softly and look up, to see his eyes right at me again.

"Alright, would you ratherrrrr go to the beach or the mountains?" Jaylan smirks because he assumes my answer is the beach and probably wants to see a bathing suit photo.

He spammed my Instagram last night, liking and commenting on all my beach photos with Maxine and Lexi.

"That's a tough one but I love the beach, I live near the mountains by my house," I admit quietly.

His eyebrows lift. "Really?"

"Oh, yes." I shift my eyes to my phone, which I'd set on his nightstand, because I have so many pictures. "It's so beautiful."

Even though the four hour hike is a killer, the top of the view is beautiful by the fence, seeing the city from above.

I reach to his nightstand and grab my phone, to see a missed call from Mateo now. I twist my lips to the side and open my photos. The heat from Jaylan's eyes presses on my skin as I swipe through my selfies and go all the way back to Papà and I at Cerro de la Silla. He had his arm around my body as we stuck our hands out to the side like we did it.

"You look like your dad." Jaylan grins and I travel my eyes down at Papà beaming brightly at the beautiful city behind us. It took us a while to get up there because Papà was out of breath.

I bite the inside of my cheek when Jaylan asks, "Do you hike a lot with your dad?"

"Not really not as much as when I was younger and he didn't smoke," I confess and Jaylan kisses my forehead for that, sending warmth in my body.

It wasn't out of pity but more compassion. "I'm sorry." He strokes my chin.

I flick my eyes down and show him another photo of Papa and I holding his hand up like V like we did it. "Is he funny like you?"

"Papà is funny." I smile at the photo, thumbing it but an escaping tear falls. I try to trap it but Jaylan cates it with his thumb.

"What did he do that was funny?" Jaylan shifts me to sit right next to him and tightly pulls me into his arms.

My eyes look down at our feet as I move them back and forth and Jaylan mimics me. His clown feet are so much bigger. I giggle at him trying to cheer me up.

"He would make up the best bedtime stories and act them out. My favorite story is El Puma Recibe una Lección. He even had stuffed animals and Isabela and I loved that, especially the voices. But the story was to tell us the cricket reminded him that life isn't about how strong or big you are, that even the smallest individuals are strong when they unite against danger and work together." I point my finger in the air and get excited thinking how Papà worked so hard to find a cricket stuffed animal to make the story even better.

Papà would always tell us bedtime stories before he went out for a smoke.

Jaylan smirks and kisses my cheek. "Is that why you are a stuffed animal advocate?"

"I'm a stuffed animal advocate because people like you don't take care of them well," I tease him with a smirk.

"Ahhh Giggles, there's more you don't know," he laughs. "I had a stuffed animal."

"Nuh-uhhh," I shake my head, bumping my cheek into his chest.

He tickles me but tightens his arms around me as I squirm.

"You are going to miss this stuffed animal." He points to himself.

"Mmmmm... nope." I giggle as he leans into my neck playfully landing a wet kiss.

"Imma make you take that back." He groans in my neck, planting a softer kiss almost like a feathery touch. 

He goes right to the rash on my neck and softly kisses there. He blows a hot puff of air on the spot, making the butterflies bunch together in my stomach. He parts his mouth, softly making my lips part and tilt my neck for access. He clamps his hand around my neck, softly kissing from behind my ear and making a trail down my neck.

"Here, lay back," he says gravelly, my body sinks down into the bed, making it dip. He climbs over me, leaning over so close and radiating heat between us as he cages his arms around me.

"I'm sorry you've been so sad." His upper body applies some pressure to my mangoes, squishing them slightly, making me whimper under the contact as he continues to plant kisses by my ear. He softly moves the stands of my hair out my face, cupping my chin. Our eyes lock and he parts his lips "Can I make you feel good?"

Melting like chocolate fondue, my eyes open slightly. My head nods to his request because I do want to pick up from last time at how his hands work on me like magic. When Jaylan touches me, I feel like I'm going to Candyland.

Like now.

He deepens the kiss into my neck, parting my lips with a light gasp at the wet contact on my skin. HIs free, warm, prickly hand slowly slips up my tank to the closest mango to him. My lower back arches, pressing me more into his hand. His fingers tense, kneading softly into my skin and drawing a low moan out of my mouth.

His thumb grazes over my nipple, which tightens at full attention like my body is welcoming his touch. My mind relaxes too, as my body's sensations wash over me like waves of excitement and heat. His thumb circles around softly, drawing more lines of excitement as he continues to kiss my neck. The tingling sensations throbbing through my veins cause the butterflies to flap right into my ovaries, starting a bonfire down there.

My lips part in a silent gasp and my hands grasp the sheets at my sides as he circles faster and sucks harder.

"Jaylan." I breathe out quietly.

His circles become slightly faster, then he rolls my nipple between his index finger and thumb, tugging softly and making me push my heels down, sinking the bed slightly. I bite my lower lip as he breathes out, washing warm waves over my neck. With a slight tickling sensation, the edge of my tank slowly begins to curl upward and rise, making all the butterflies in my tummy do the wiggle dance.

Right when my lips spread father open, vibrations from my phone interrupts, taking over the heated silence between us.

"S...sorry," I rasp out, my chest heaving with uneven breaths.

"Don't be, baby... Get it," Jaylan rasps too, removing his hand from me and swiping the pad of his thumb over my lower lip.

Jaylan lifts up gently and I reach over to my night stand to see Isabela is calling. A deep sigh escapes from my lips and I swipe to answer it. The connection is slow on her end and I look back at Jaylan, giving him an apologetic smile.  He lets out a soft smile as his chest rises and falls unevenly, making me smile at the idea he's feeling affected by that too.

I reflect the smile and go right into his bathroom. My cheeks are bright pink and my hair a little messy, so I smooth it down with my free hand.

"Lizzie?" Isabela says softly.

The screen is freezing but I could see her with a mouth guard on which makes a giggle escape from my lips. Izzy dark chocolate pupils revealing her dimples at me. Her long chocolate brown curly ringlets pulled up into a sloppy bun perfectly. 

"Hola."

"Hola, I... I'm sorry to bother," she softly begins, dropping her eyes down.

My hand closes the bathroom door and I lean against it. Anytime when Izzy speaks in English, it's when she doesn't want Mama to hear.

"No no no, Jaylan and I were about to go to bed," I reassure her, sliding down the bathroom door and causing a towel to fall on my head. Izzy snickers as I pick it off my head and tuck it behind my back.

"Ooooh, can I meet noviooo?" she teases, squinting her eyes at me.

My eyes widen, place my phone down and crack open the door to see Jaylan's eyes closed like an old man.

"Jaylan" I whisper.

His eyes open and shift looking at me arching his brown. I lift up my phone and flip the camera around. Izzy eyes dilate eight , making me giggle.

"¡Ese eres tu novio! (That's your boyfriend!)" Izzy's big mouth echoes.

Jaylan chuckles with a grin and I grumble, getting off the floor with my congra drum tingling from the cold tile floor. I go over to Jaylan, climbing on to the bed. Jaylan's smile grows as Izzy rubs her eyes in disbelief of hiss handsome features.

I nudge him. "Say Hola."

"Hola." He waves and Izzy widens her grin.

"Thanks for taking care of my big-headed big sister!"

Furrowing my brows at Izzy, Jaylan throws his head back and cackles. "Of course, of course. You coming to her graduation, right?"

"Yes, can't wait to meet you! Lizzie talks about you all the time," Izzy teases, knowing that's partially true.

Jaylan turns his head, looking me up and down while smiling. I palm my forehead and Izzy giggles at the show. I climb out of Jaylan's bed and rush back into the bathroom, sliding right back down at my seat.

"I just miss you." She twists her lips to the side and I thumb her face over the screen, wishing I could hug her right now. Even on a tiny screen, her shoulders droop and head tucks down.

"I miss you too." I flick my eyes down as the feeling of the bees come, breaking up the butterfly party Jaylan started.

Silence grows between us, minus the dripping from the sink softly as the bees swarm angrily.

"It's so easy to talk to you, besides Mateo," she admits.

"Mateo's just, well, handling it differently," I shyly speak.

Mateo is like Mamá, he ignores reality and it won't hit him until the divorce is finally done. Mateo will put futbol in front of anything before acknowledging what's about to happen at the end of the month. When our parents took us to the beach and announced their divorce. Mateo stayed out all night, just kicking the futbol into the dumpster of our hotel over and over again.

Isabela is like Papá, who speaks her mind when something is not right and will try in every way to mend the relationship.

"Yeah, he's handling alright. He was playing futbol with  Ricardo this evening," Izzy speaks bitterly, shaking her head. "It's like he doesn't even care."

"He does care," I softly squeak.

"Well, he has a poor time showing it. I wish I could stay with  Papá but Mamá won't let me... She said it was unsafe. Papá is safe... He took care of us for all this time!" Izzy speaks louder but I whimper for her to be quiet. I really don't want Jaylan to hear any of this.

The fact  Mamá is saying Papá is unsafe creates a toxicity in my blood and my hand trembles, clasping my phone.  She knows  Papá is the kindest person in the world. What is she playing here?

"¿Puedes bajar la voz por favor? (Can you please lower your voice)" My voice strains and Izzy takes in my surroundings.

Mama's and Ricardo's laughter echo through Isabela and I's bedroom and we just look at each other. I drop my eyes down and Isabela sighs sorrowfully. Silence takes over as we hear them laugh and giggle like teenagers about being quiet. Isabela's eyes well up more and Bonnie snuggles in her face to lick her tears. 

I softly gasp as the clogging of my nose makes it hard to breathe. As if we were in the same exact room, the quiet cries of both of us reflect the pain of  Mamá freely laughing and in love again.

"Estaré allí un segundo, Ricardo... alto.......(I'll be in there a second...stop..)," she whispers but it felt like I was there in our room. 

Isabela looks right at me like, 'I told you so.' The reality that Mamá is not looking back at  Papá at all after twenty five years of marriage jolts me more than an AED machine.  My mouth moves but words won't come out of my throat because the bees sting so badly that its swelling and aching.

Isabela wheezes, heaving her chest trying to calm down as more giggles escape out of Mamá's mouth. Isabela gets up, shaking the camera a bit, probably to grab her inhaler on her dresser. I bow my head in between my knees, hitching my breath.

"Lizzie?" Jaylan says from the door making me quickly pop my head because I quickly forgot I was in Jaylan's in the bathroom.

"Ahorita, (in a minute) Jaylan," I softly squeak.

"Alright." He yawns like an old man.

A faint smile cracks but my attention draws back to my phone as I hear Izzy's inhaler shake and she sprays.

"Hold your breath for ten seconds, Izzy." My nurse instructions kick in for a second. I quietly count as I hear Mamá tenderly sigh at the door. "Isabela?"

"¡vete! (go away)," Isabela gasps out.

Mamá is about to bust in the door any second right now. We never tell  Mamá to go away, whether we are mad at her or not.

"Isabela, solo queria decirte buenas noches y te amo ( I just wanted to say I love you and good night)," she speaks softly.

What, not even a bust door down from the cops or a shoe banging?

I furrow my brows and Isabela doesn't respond, only leaving Mamá sighing deeply.

"Isabela," I softly say.

"Nothing is working Lizzie," she rasps out, her shoulders shaking.

"We just... have to..." my words fade because I have no answer.

I have nothing, even less than if I was there in person.

"Pray? Lizzie, nothing is working... our family is breaking." Her shoulders pitching, she begins to wheeze again.

My heart feels crushed and I'm trembling but I just still. I'm stuck, completely stuck, and this is crippling me. "What do you want me to do, Isabela?"

"Be here," her voice strains, invoking hot tears welling up in my eyes. They spill over, wetting my cheeks and dripping down to where my knees meet my chest.,

"Solo soy una persona Isabela (I'm only one person, Isabela)," I say the words to her but they feel like I'm admitting failure.

I am one person and... I... can't fix this.

She remains silent and hitches her breath. Bonnie snuggles in her arms again, licking her hot tears from her face.

"Solo tenemos que aguantar... Izzy... cinco meses más y puedes quedarte conmigo... encontraremos algo, no pierdas la esperanza. (We just have to stick it out... Izzy... Five more months and you can stay with me... We will figure out something, don't lose hope.)

"You mean that?"
"Lo prometo con todo mi corazón (I promise, with all my heart)."
Silence takes over again around us with the dripping water and my conga drum officially numbs. I wipe the tears away with the back of my trembling hand, close my eyes, and draw a sniffly breath.

If it's one thing I know, at this very moment, is that in order to move forward with what's to come, I need to be a big sister for Isabela. No matter if I'm 1,910.5 miles away from home, I am her sister.

I can't let her down or Mateo.

But another thing is...

I don't think I can keep this from Jaylan any longer because I need him now more than ever to get through these last days.

Edited and spiced up by still_just_me!