Waking up to someone you love is always one of the best feelings. You get to catch a glimpse of their peaceful state after yesterday's relations. You even get to admire them in the morning's ray's shining down upon your lover as if giving him a more handsome effect. You blink your eyes open finding the same man you fell in love with years ago right beside you. A soft smile tugs your lips gazing at the way this moment captured him like a marvelous picture you could not remove your eyes from. His fair skin shimmering on his skin to give him depth along with the sheets. You finally awaken after thirty minutes. You lay on your side propping yourself on your arm to run your fingers through his blonde hair. You feel it's soft texture. You couldn't believe you dyed his hair. You were indeed a hell of an artist. Your fingers wander down to his chest. You feel how hard they are tempting you to bite his chest and mark him. Your fingers draw circles on his chest as you lose yourself in thought. You bite your thumb nail determining how you wanted to phrase your words wisely or maybe you had to make a decision for him. You had to be prepared for what you are to say. You feel him shift. He groans as he stirs awake. Everything he's doing has yet to break you out of your trance until you feel his touch pulling you close. He plants a kiss on your temple. You gasp, startled by his affection.

"Are you okay? You looked kind of gone for a second." You nod spacing out or at least scramble through your thoughts. Your head rests against his chest staring at nothing in particular.

"(Y/n)...about last night." He starts. Something you wanted to avoid. The only thing to stray him from the subject is morning sex. So you did just that. You kiss his chest letting him talk then rise to his neck placing kisses in random parts of his body. "You cried and I want to know why. Is it your depression?" He asks concerned. His body heat rises, breathing pace speeds up as he feels you stroke him under the sheet. He grunts. "(Y/n)..." He utters. You smirk and shut him up with a long kiss. You bite his lip after awhile.

"Let's talk about it later. I promise to tell you. Let's not soil this moment. You have a friend in need of attention and I'd like to take care of him." You baited. You slide down, under the covers to bring his morning wood into your mouth. The second your wet, tongue touches his hot length, his desire for you begins. He tosses his head back enjoying the feel of him in your mouth. Your tongue massaging his shaft. The small nibbles here and there and your hard sucking. You tried to take all of him in your mouth making you nearly gag. One hand massages his sack for an ultimate, pleasurable experience.

"Baby wait." He grunts. His hand resting on your head as it bobs. "I have to go to work soon." You pull away leaving a 'pop' sound echo. Your lips trail kisses from his thighs up to his lips. You pout at him.

"Come on, just a quickie love. It won't take long. It will be something to remember me by all day while you work." You seduce. You lick the shell of his ear. His chest rumbles at your teasing. You give him two pumps still holding his sex as you try to convince him. He grips your hips groaning at the sensation.

"Screw it. He can wait." He flips you on your back to loom over you. His lips smash to yours as he slides himself inside slow at first then slams right in earning a gasp from your lips. You wrap your arms around him bringing him into a make out session.

After your morning copulation, you watch him get ready, recording everything he does I to your mind. One last time. You hoped it wasn't. He finishes adjusting his bow tie in front of his mirror, he takes steps towards you. He lean down to give you his good bye kiss. It was just a peck, but you made it longer pushing his head deeper into the kiss. When you pull away you remember the taste of his lips. Foreheads pressed on one another as he nuzzles you. Your heart races at the affectionate gesture.

"Will you be okay?" You take a second to think about it. Both emotionally and physically. You sure hoped so.

"Yes." You reply. "Celty is taking me to work. You take care okay? Don't go overboard."

"They have a tendency to piss me off but....I'll try." Your man rises to his feet and takes his leave. Your heart wrenches as you watch his back retreat to the living room. Him walking away is a painful imagine to paint, because today you are going to tell him. You will confess and hopefully this weight will be lifted. The door clicks indicating he left entirely. You wait a little longer in bed listening to nothing but silence before laying flat on your back on the bed. You sigh and stare at the ceiling. A tear trails down your face. Then one by one it turns into a waterfall. You cry silently in bed with an arm thrown over your head.

Shizuo met up with Tom at their destination, took care of their problem and withdrew to their next route.

"I was worried something happened. You came a little later than normally."

"Your cousin held me back." The brunette raises a brow.

"Is she not feeling well?" He asks.

"No not that. She's fine. I mean do you really want to know?" It took quite a moment for Tom to realize what he was hinting.

"Oh....Oh! Man, what the hell I don't want to know. Ugh!" He pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes off the images suddenly implanted. This only had him even more curious. "Did you do it last night?"

"Yes." He said.

"Well did you at least use a condom?" The blonde pauses. It took longer than usual. "What? You didn't use one? Then you knocked her up?"

"Shit, I was so caught up in the moment. We weren't thinking. I hope she's not. It's only been a day. We'll have to wait and see."

"You failed to do one thing. Let's hope she doesn't. If she is you know you're going to have to be there right? I'm not going to let you go that easy."

"I know. I really don't mind. If it's with her I think I'm okay with that." The two cross the street. Shizuo is left in a daze of his mind. Having a child with you would never be a mistake. Yes it's scary and uncertain whether or not this will last or if his child would be a burden, but he would be determined to be there for you. Tom scoffs as he discovers he has nothing to worry about anymore.

"Well, how was your date?"

"It was fine. She enjoyed herself. I finally got to see her smile." A smile ghosts over the brunettes lips.

"Yeah? I guess it helped her. Something she needed."

"I also learned that (Y/n) has depression. Did you know about this?" Tom sighs.

"Yeah. Right after the accident she struggled to regain her memories. Doctors said not to force them and in time will come back. This pressed her into a depressing state. She wouldn't eat, sleep always looked so upbeat. It never got serious like suicidal. She was just upset. We took her to the hospital, gave her meds and assured she would be back to herself in no time. She no longer takes the meds but she goes off and on. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just comfort her when she does fall."

"I guess that's why she's been upset. She cried to me out of nowhere."

"Yes, it happens every so often. But if she cries harder than she is supposed to then that's not normal and something is up." The news about your depression made him concern more over you. What is it that he's able to do to make you happy? The real question is, what is bothering you? Sometime during their work, you sent a message to Tom.

You: Hey I'm going to stay with you from now on. I'll explain back at your place. Please don't tell Shizuo about this message. Keep it between us. I'll see you soon.

This really has him worried. He types back and shuts his phone off just in time before his partner emerges to his side. He takes glances of the blonde wondering what was going on. He shouldn't jump to conclusions. He trusted both of you and was willing to wait for an explaination when he gets home.

You packed your bag making sure you took every belonging of yours before departure. You wouldn't want to come back if he suddenly dumped you. You know how Shizuo is. He would never want to see a returned face if he had problems with them. Relationships on the other hand are something you are not sure it applies. The only girl he's been with that you know of is you. If he had any in the past is beyond you. Regardless, you're collecting all of your thoughts as you sit just outside of his apartment. You lift your head up to the sky. What was once sunny has now been replaced by dark, gray clouds casting over the infamous city as if setting the mood. At any moment, droplets of water will start falling from them. Slowly you are consumed by this brief bit in time. Everything and everyone around you is blocked away except for the coolness that is the wind brushing against your skin. Your spacing out it broken when you hear the familiar footsteps. One glance of your peripheral vision and you know all too well whom they belong to. Your (e/c) irises cast down to the cement. There is no glint of light within them, just sorrow. You're afraid of the outcome, but you knew it wasn't right to keep him at bay like this. You loved him too much. You wanted to spare him. Yet you know in your heart that whatever happens, you needed time for yourself. Foot falls stop. Your heart pounds, drumming your ears from the suspense. It's already hard to face him.

"(Y/n)? What are you doing out here?" Your hair shades your eyes. You clench your bag's strap on your chest.

"Shizuo...we need to talk." Your tone of voice held him on the edge. Something was wrong. He searches through his mind to check what he might have done wrong or what made you feel the need to do something. The only thing that comes to mind is your sudden breakdown of last night. Looking back, maybe he's made you unhappy and it was obvious yet he denied those ideas. Now he comes to find it's been the truth all along? Your bag held with you is another confirmation. You bite your lip trying to contain your emotions and force the words out. "I have been meaning to tell you something very important. The day we went to see Shinra he told me something. He confessed why I actually left." The blonde shifts to curiosity. It wasn't what he's expecting. A confession. Something did indeed happen and he was ready to pumble that Shinra for whatever it is he told you. The reason why you left? What other reason could there be? It wasn't your choice. It was just family matters. He stood back waiting patiently to go on. "The reason I left wasn't because my mother was promoted and asked to transfer at another country for her job. It was all Izaya's doing." His eyes widen. Just hearing that name irritated him. Now he comes to find he's behind the reason for his heartbreak? How he stripped you away from him? That crossed the line.

"What? You mean to tell me that rat bastard is the reason you don't remember? Why he took you away from me? I swear that prick has interfered with my life for the last time!" He snarls.

"There's more." You said.

"There is no need to tell me anything else. He's to blame for everything. I'm goanna go find and break that rat's neck!"

"IT WAS MY CHOICE!" You cry out. The blonde pauses. Had he heard right? You chose to leave? No it couldn't be. He slowly turns to you dumbfounded. Tears stream down your cheeks. "He threatened me yes. Then one day he went too far. He threatened my family, nearly ruined my father's career and had us on the brick of breaking down. I never told you this, but I just didn't want you to see me as weak. I didn't want to burden you with my problems when you had your own demons to fight against. I was trying to be your rock when everything came crashing down." You touched your arm recalling those marks your father planted on you and your mother. "I met up with him one day and asked what he wanted of me. He made a contract with me. To break it off with you, leave this town, the country itself and in turn he will leave my family alone and give my mother a great job opportunity that will save us from hitting rock bottom." You hiccup, your body shivers as you tell him the story. You force yourself once more to get it together. "I took it. I broke it off with you and left. I had no choice. I had to do it for my family. I couldn't take it anymore. All the pain and suffering I've endured felt like a twilight zone. One day you're happy the next is a freaking shit show you never expected would happen. Everyday just kept getting worse, but it was one of the hardest choice I ever made." Shizuo processes it all in to comprehend everything you managed to tell him. How is he supposed to feel? How is he supposed to react to this? He didn't know. It was a mixture of a stab to the heart followed by guilt and pity over you. When he meets your eyes, he notices how dark and sad they are. Nothing but genuine sorrow. "Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted Shizuo. You know this, but I can never forgive myself for taking that option rather than being strong and figuring out a solution. I wasn't strong enough back then and I'm not strong enough now. I know this now and I feel like whatever you choose will be fine with me. I won't blame you, but you deserve the right to know what's been eating me alive for these past few weeks. I'm so sorry Shizuo. I don't deserve you and I can't trust myself. So this is goodbye." You search for an answer but none came out. All he did was stare at your irises with confliction.

Disappointed, you turn to leave when he stops you mid way. "Wait!" He scans over your surprised face. "Don't go." Is all that slipped out. That's all he knew to say. His body reacted on it's own. Watching you leave was something he didn't ever want to witness again. In your eyes you saw the scared child that he was back then. He held you tightly, but not enough to harm you. You sadden having an answer all ready for him.

"I can't. We both need space to think and you know it." And just like that your hand slips from his fingers sliding off to the touch of his finger tips. He stood at the entrance as you walk away. Never once looking back for the sake of both of you. In that instant your figure is out of sight, on cue, the rain starts to pour suave then heavily making the scenery a lot more depressing. He looks at the hand which held you one last time. He balls it into a fist until his knuckles turned white. He failed to keep you again and this time it wasn't Izaya's doing. It was himself. The larger obstacle he hoped he wouldn't be.