https://youtu.be/YqJHqhukndc

Shivaay's Point of View

My heartbeat stopped for a second. Every inch of my core rattled. My thoughts formed a blank. The sense and logic I always tended to reign wisely rendered out of control. I stood still like a mute puppet finding myself speechless. The piano slowly awakened and set the mood of the night...

She walked slowly down the aisle with her innocent gaze set upon me. Her shadow hypnotized under the guise of the diamond lamp shades which danced the tango with the glitter of her sheer black dress. Her hands shakingly took a tight grasp of the boquet of white lilies as her dark red lips formed a nervous smile. My eyes followed her lucious wavy hair that cascaded down her shoulders only to reach the end of her dress's neckline. My imagination running wild on how it would feel to run my hands through those soft locks only to collide against her trembling lips.

Anika.

She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. No one has elicited such a sudden attraction within me the way she has. It's so wrong of me to even think of a stranger in such a manner, but it feels uncontrollable, unstoppable. No matter how much I am telling myself to pause this raw, unhinged feeling I am still holding on to it and not letting go of it. I am not that type of guy who is into emotions, especially romance and intimacy, but for some reason this is the first time I have felt this way and I rather not feel it-I have too much going on in my life and last thing I would want is something like this.

Flashback:

"What do you mean you found someone? How can you find someone when you are married to me?" For the first time I felt someone had grabbed my heart and ripped through it a million times. I felt a blur take over me and my thoughts became hazy, unable to comprehend what I was hearing.

Tia sighed as she stopped packing her suitcase midway and looked at me with guilt. She wiped away her crocodile tears and took a step towards me only for me to take a step back. Disgust filled within me unable to phantom I had dared to love a woman like her.

"Don't you get it Shivaay? Don't you see it? Or are you blind?" She shook her head in frustration though she had no right to show anger considering how wrong she was in this moment.

I clenched my fists tightly. A swarm of anger rose within me though I attempted to suppress it not wanting to lose my sanity over a worthless human being who doesn't even deserve my anger.

"Our marriage was over a long time ago Shivaay! A long time ago! When you started making decisions without my approval...when you decided to choose your family, your profession, your daughter over me! When you decided that it's okay to spend more time at your job than come home and be with me! You are the one who ruined us...not me! And since you always have chosen someone over me...I have done the same..." Tia paused for a moment. She gulped nervously and looked at me with some fear, aware of my temper.

My nails clawed themselves into the palm of my hand. Blood coursed itself through my veins as my heart pounded loudly against my chest. I felt a bitter, poison erupt from the anger I had bottled within me for a long time.

"Speak. Speak damn it! Tell me...tell me how you chose someone over me...Tell me TIA! I want to know! I want to hear it from you!" My empty voice echoed loudly in the room. Tia jumped back and let out a villainous smile like she had finally gotten even with me. She somehow sadistically enjoyed seeing me in this miserable state.

"I slept with Aryan okay?!" She screamed. My anger froze for a moment unable to believe what I had just heard.

Aryan? My best friend?......She slept with my best friend?

"Yes I slept with your best friend...and you know when? On our anniversary...when you decided to go to work and attend a patient over giving ME time...giving us time! That day is when I knew we were over...when you chose your job over me...it was the final straw Shivaay! I mean how many chances can I give you?! You always take a chance, make false promises, and then fail to keep up with them! I am tired of it!"

I stumbled back and took a hold of the wall behind me. Tears creeped themselves within my eyes, but I closed them shut not wanting my enemy to see them. No one deserves to see me this vulnerable, especially not the one who has backstabbed me the worse way one ever could.

"Shivaay...look...maybe we were never meant to be...maybe there is someone else out there for you who is okay with being neglected...being the second choice...being treated like trash...maybe someone else can understand you better than me...someone who is okay dealing with your shit-"

I sensed her hover towards me. Her hands gently ran themselves against my shoulder before I grabbed them and pushed them away.

"Get away! Get away! Out! Out I say! Out of my home!" Screams erupted from me. The vase shattered itself across the floor. My hand collapsed against the broken frame that encased our wedding picture. My mind hitting a dead end. I grabbed her hand and threw her suitcase out the front door. All I could hear was her senseless laughter, her pleasure from seeing me fall apart. She smiled proudly at my destruction and she left...left me alone. And just like that...I befriended loneliness and bid adieu to the idea of love.

Flashback Ends

I snapped out of the memory of the past to meet an innocent pair of brown eyes. Anika and I stood across from each other at the altar finding ourselves mesmerized by each other's presence. She gave me a soft smile, appearing to give me consent to admire her. If life had been different, I would have been tempted to pursue Anika. However, I cannot. I have made myself a promise to stay away from the realm of dating and romance-it's clearly not for me. I have too many commitments in my life that require my attention and they are more important than a mere thing called love.

Anika's Point of View

"And today we gather to celebrate the love Lily and James carry for each other. Love indeed is the only cherished feeling that follows us all to our grave. Love is what helps us survive the most darkest times in our life. Love is what helps us stand up when we feel down, ready to give up. Love is what makes home...and love is what brings life to this empty world."

The priest's words slowly tied the knot between James and Lily, but also between the hearts of us two strangers, Shivaay and I. I bit my lip and continued to snatch looks at Shivaay, feeling shy, but daring. It's so odd that there is a man who is giving me attention. That rarely happens. Very rare. In fact, the probably reason why I am still single at 29.

If someone would have told me tonight I would potentially meet a handsome, attractive man with whom I may share some future with I would have laughed. But darn it, I cannot deny the fact that I am quite attracted to this gentleman. I always laughed off at the idea of attraction at first sight, but how wrong have I been.

Why do I feel so connected to this stranger I have just met? Is something wrong with me?

Probably hormones, maybe I am PMSing...something is wrong with me.

I proceeded to have a mini existential crisis as James and Lily began to read their vows to each other. Hand in hand, they promised their commitment to holy matrimony. Lily and James completely in love seen in how Lily continued to giggle like a child while James held a goofy smile. Both innocently in love and I hope they always have it this way-not the way my parents did.

Flashback

"Mommy where are you going?! Mommy I want to come with you! STOP! Mommy stop!"

I stumbled along the sidewalk while dragging my teddy bear behind me. Mom held tears in her eyes. She stopped for a moment to turn and look back at me-the little girl with uneven pigtails who stood barefoot on the cold ground while sucking her thumb fearfully.

She knelt down and wrapped her hands into mine. Tears trailed down my cheeks as I stared at her hoping that she would take me with her.

"Sweetheart I cannot take you with me...I have dreams. Desires. And living here with you and dad will not help me achieve those dreams...You will understand when you grow up what I meant." She placed her hand on my cheek tenderly in an attempt to make me understand "grown-up" stuff, but I was not in the mood to understand. All I knew was that I wanted my mom to stay...to live with me and dad like a happy family.

"M-mommy...but I love you...I love you so so much, so stay mommy-please! Don't you love me?" Mom paused for a second and appeared to contemplate for a moment. However, before she could speak her hand was snatched out of mine.

"Stay away from my daughter! Leave now! Get out you cheat! Go be with that jerk of a man! Go live rich, live your dreams like you always wanted to!" Dad began to scream and pulled me back behind him to serve as a protective barrier.

Mom sighed in frustration and looked at me in silence. Not saying a word, she blew me a kiss and turned towards the black Lincoln car where an unfamiliar man sat in the driver's seat. Without looking back, she sat next to him and drove off-and that was the last time I would ever see her.

Flashback Ends

"And now I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

My thoughts crumbled as I looked up to see James swing Lily in for a kiss. Breaking into cheer, we all began to applaud loudly to celebrate to their union. Hand in hand, they ran down the aisle while us the bridal party followed them. I made my steps slowly down the altar only to stumble on the steps. A hand grabbed a hold of mine to save me from the fall. I looked up only to come an inch away from the pair of gorgeous blue eyes. The heat of our hands brushed lightly against each other briefly only to part and keep distance.

Shivaay gave me soft smile which I returned awkwardly only to look back and see a bouquet of flowers twirling straight towards me.

Lily threw her bouquet up in the air and allowed it run straight towards me. My eyes widened with realization I was about to claim ownership of it. Without a thought, I raised my hand and took a hold of the flowers only to have a firm, strong hand wrap around mine's once more. I gasped and looked back in complete shock realizing Shivaay and I had both grabbed hold of the bridal bouquet.

"Oooh looks like we know who is getting married neeext-Shivaay and Anika!" Ami sing songed the tease to the both of us. Lily and James erupted into laughter from seeing Shivaay and mine shocked expressions, in complete utter disbelief that we both could potentially be the next victims to marriage.

"Well I guess you two will be the ones I will be marrying next time." The priest joked behind us. Shivaay and I turned red in embarrassment, clearly, both of us having no desire for a thing called marriage at the moment.

"Here keep it," Shivaay mumbled and shoved the bouquet in my hands. I kept my eyes fixated on the ground and quietly wrapped my hands around the bouquet, definitely wanting to melt into the ground at this very moment from embarrassment. Always the center of attention despite not wanting to be.

Shivaay went ahead and walked with William, the other groomsman, to follow the bridal party out of the altar and to the reception hall next door. My pace slowed down as I found myself lost deep in my thoughts.

No no no. This has got to be a joke. Seriously?? Me next in marriage? And why the heck did this one also grab hold of it with me? This has to be a serious joke that God is playing on me. Out of all of the unlucky days I have had, and the bad luck I have had with love, today is the day I encounter a good-looking guy, who gives me attention, and also catches the bridal bouquet with me-and let's emphasize this is happening all while I am caring for my dying father.

This has to be some sick dark joke...because no way in hell is everything going right for once and I don't want it. I do not want things to go right. No I do not.

I rather be alone...yes be alone.

Marriage is something I cannot afford, nor do I desire to be grabbing a man's attention who I know has no interest in pursuing me.

But then he is good looking Anika. Come on give it a chance. The angel on the shoulder told me.

Yeah let's give it chance only to lose him like she lost her mother right? Love is a fantasy. The devil told me.

"So I guess I am going to be attending your wedding next!" Ami hit my shoulder teasingly. I rolled my eyes and gave her a "are you serious" look.

Ami giggled and wrapped her arm around my shoulder to comfort me. "Okay sorry for teasing you, but it is funny that the woman who is the last to marry on this planet caught the bouquet with the man, who has a reputation for having a poor track record when it comes to relationships!"

I shot her a curious look about her comment regarding Shivaay. "What do you mean?...And by the way who is he? I thought Kendall was supposed to be groomsman, so where did he come from?"

"Ohhh yes, well Kendall got too drunk in Vegas at the Bachelor party last night and was way too hungover to make it here. Also the fact he met a random European chick and decided to marry her...anyhow! Shivaay was James' original choice. They both have been best friends since childhood, but Shivaay was very busy with work, so he declined, however, James' needed a last minute replacement and Shivaay finally decided to be a good friend and take up the position."

"What work does he do that he is so busy he cannot be his best friend's groomsman?" I asked pretending to be nonchalant, though very curious to learn more about him.

"Interventional Cardiologist." I stopped in my track and looked at her quite surprised. You got to be kidding me.

Ami burst into laughter upon seeing my "deer caught in headlights" expression.

"Yes, he is a doctor just like yooouu." Ami teased while I ignored her and quickly began to make my way to the reception hall.

"I quit medicine remember-barely part time at the local clinic." I snapped back at her while she laughed and ignored my line.

"Yes, yes we know how much you despise corporate medicine Ms. Part-time physician turned art teacher."

"So odd how both of you are alike." Ami noted in an attempt to make a connection. And of course she had a point, however, best to keep my feelings to myself. I rather not start openly sharing how I am a teensy winsy smitthen by him.

"And so odd you know so much?" Ami and I walked into the reception hall going directly to the bar.

"One gin for me please and one glass of coke for this lady!" Ami smirked and looked back to eye William who stood in deep conversation with Shivaay across from us.

"William told me last night when we did it." I let out a loud gasp completely shocked from what I was hearing. I took a large swing of my soda unable to phantom what I had just heard.

"You what?! You did it with the groom's brother! Shut up!" I exclaimed only to see the guests next to us throw a look. Ami giggled and shushed me.

"Shh...Lily cannot find out! She will literally freak! Remember her non bridesmaid shenanigans rule?"

I threw my hand against my head and shook it dramatically. "And of course you would break it Ami-of course you would!"

Ami laughed and began to share the details of the rendezvous while I stood there wanting to cleanse my ears, definitely not wanting to know the goriness of it.

Shivaay's Point of View

"So yeah, that's how me and the bridesmaid Ami hooked up last night. I had zero intentions, but she was looking quite something at the rehersal dinner...and I took my chance. I mean how much longer can I stay hung at Emily who already has moved on. Am I right?"

"Uh huh..."I muttered though completely ignoring him and staring at the giggling beauty across from me. She ran her hands through her dark waves only to flip them to the side. Taking a swing of her drink, she nudged her friend and continued to divulge in gossip. My eyes wandered down to eye the dress that etched her sensous curves.

"And you have completely zoned out and are not listening to me." I let out a chuckle and looked at William who took a sip of whiskey.

"Sorry mate, I got distracted..." My eyes wandered back to Anika who appeared to have spilled soda on her dress and was wiping it off furiously. She took a dramatic loud sigh and began to let out a childish fake cry. Truly, she was something...different...and I could tell there were layers to her.

"Let me guess you want to hook up with the other bridesmaid?" William chimed the devilish idea. I threw him a glare and shook my head in a "no" though that was a thought that passed my mind.

"I am way past the age of hook ups."

"Shivaay you are 32 and a doctor. I am sure you can get plenty of hook ups." I denied his idea and leaned against the wall behind me. A sense of dread passed through me from remembering the past.

"Yeah, but I have aged in terms of experience William. Nothing is the same anymore after you know the divorce." I took a sip of the brandy in attempt to soothen the bitter memory.

"Well move on you idiot. It's been two years already and last time I heard Tia is set to get married."

Anger crept up within me from remembering the news headline "Famous Oil Industrialist, Leo Sharma's daughter, Tia Sharma set to marry CEO of BeeTech Adam Schwartz". Of course, she would run after big money. First she ran after mine then decided to go find a bigger catch who had the bigger house, more yachts, no responsibilities. Her and her mother are the same-people were right the apple does not fall far from the tree. Like mother, like daughter. I should have heeded to people's warnings.

"Good she is fucking moving on-good riddance. And I have moved on too mind you William. Tia is a nobody to me now, a complete stranger." I emphasized the last sentence wanting to make sure William engraved that in his mind, but more so it was to remind myself that she should hold no value in my life.

William slammed my shoulder proudly and forced my drink down my throat.

"Good! Then move on and make a move on the bridesmaid. Tia is nothing compared to that bridesmaid Anika. Ami was telling me that in fact she is a doctor herself-"

"Doctor? Her?" I began to tap my memory to remember where I might have seen her, but couldn't remind myself. I don't believe she works at Sandwell Hospital where I am employed. Never have seen her. Wonder what association she is part of.

"Part-time more so. She works as a primary doctor for the city's underserved clinic at Ashwood." I let out a small laugh from hearing that.

"Underserved clinic and that too part-time? How much money does she take home? And to top it off she has student loans to pay. Quite a character..." I muttered though somewhere impressed by her tenacity.

Altruism over money. I like it. Rarely, women like her exist these days, most run after money.

"Well, you would be humored by the fact she is also a part time art teacher at the local elementary school-Pinebrook elementary." I shook my head silently, finding myself admiring her choice of careers. Certainly, there is more to her than what meets the eye.

Anika let out a loud laugh and continued to joke around with Ami. She has a certain grace to her, despite, how jestful and dramatic she can get. Interesting.

"And why were you and Ami talking about us while hooking up? You do know that is weird?"

"Oh please it was after we hooked up. Ami and I came up with the idea we both should introduce you too-you both are physicians and seem to be troubled-"

"Uh huh yeah sure!" I waved my hand off at him wanting to ignore the troubled idea he had given.

Our conversation was soon broken off by the sound of the DJ who was ready to introduce the bride and groom for their first dance. Soon, the two doors were bolted open and in came James and Lily hand in hand. I attempted to focus on them, but found myself distracted by Anika who stood across from me and played with the bridal bouquet nervously in her hand.

Indeed, it was quite the fate that her and I both had taken a hold of that bouquet at the same time. As a doctor, I have learned to not believe in these foolish beliefs, but for some reason my heart sure did skip a beat when we caught those flowers-somewhere finding myself curious if beliefs like these are actually true.

Anika's Point of View

I admired from afar as I watched Lily twirl like a princess as James spun her effortlessly on the dance floor. Both of them deeply in love and completely having forgotten any worries or any doubts they had before walking down the aisle. Love can do wonders on people. I wonder how it feels like to be truly that much in a love with a stranger, someone completely unknown.

"Shivaay has been staring at you all night. Have you noticed that or is it just me?" I blushed quietly and shook my head pretending to have not noticed. Though, every time I snatched a look at him, I did see him boring his eyes at me.

"Probably just you." I chimed and took a sip of my drink before placing it at the bar counter.

"Well he is walking towards us now, so clearly I am right." Ami threw me smirk as I looked back immediately to see him making his way towards me. He appeared to straighten his broad shoulders and smoothen his stride. An air of confidence surrounded his aura.

My heart flip flopped and dropped on the ground beneath my feet. The ground beneath me took a shake as I felt my knees weaken. My gaze fixated on him not daring to look away. His charm being a magnet to my shyness that dared to not show face. Clearly, he had an effect on me and boy am I not liking it.

"Hey..." His husky voice breaking the silence between us. Shit. His voice. His voice the perfect blend of hotness and confidence-the perfect tone that would make any woman take a run for her money and fall weak in her knees.

I gulped nervously and forced a daring smile, not wanting to reveal how his mere presence was enough to snatch bits of fearlessness within me.

"Nice to see you again as well." What the heck did I just say? Am I a grocery store cashier who says this generic line to every customer who enters the door. I facepalmed myself mentally and lowered my eyes in embarrassment. Clearly this is the reason why I still haven't gotten my first boyfriend.

"Are you enjoying the reception? James mentioned you are on a tight on call schedule tonight for the hospital. He was scared you might not even make it to his wedding altar as the groomsman." Ami attempting to break the air of discomfort that surrounded us.

I noticed a playful smile form on his lips as he continued to stare at me. He appeared to be enjoying the awkwardness between us-as if he was amused by it.

"Yeah I guess I am not needed tonight at the hospital. We have been fairly busy, so the silence tonight is an exception."

"Well perhaps fate desires you to be here tonight and take a break for once..." Ami nudged my elbow and gave me a wink as if the line was meant more for me than him. I rolled my eyes and tapped my hand lightly against the glass of sparkling water the bar tender handed to me.

Shivaay let out a chuckle as he chugged down the pint of brandy he held in his hand. Clearly an experienced drinker-not something I like. Good Anika...point out his flaws-point at them and run. The last thing you need in life is falling for an alcoholic-so what if he is handsome? If he can chug down alcohol he is not likeable-that is the rule remember?

"Yeah...well work can get busy. A lot of physicians left the workforce after covid, so now I am managing their previous patients and mine as well. Last few months have been tough in terms of the bureaucracy, insurance issues, and of course patient compliance...I am an interventional cardiologist by the way," Shivaay pointed his finger towards me-attempting to emphasize that he is an interventional cardiologist in the city of New York who is making bang for his buck-the richest of the rich doctors amongst the specialties.

I felt a grimace cross my lips as I formed a frown not liking his need to show off. So what if you are an interventional cardiologist? Do you really think I will be impressed by the amount of money you make?

"Nice Anika is a doctor downtown as well." Ami spoke on my behalf. I sighed and saw Shivaay's eyes brighten from hearing my occupation that I oh so dare to hide.

"Yes I heard from William about that. Truly, you must like medicine for working at such low pay."

My eyes widened as I bit my tongue from frustration. Yup, typical East Coast breed. Of course, how is it you can find a nice, handsome gentleman who does not open his wide mouth and go on to chatter about how much money he has, the cars he owns, and the multiple penthouses where he throws raves in the city? All these men are the same. Not one bit different.

"I love my job. In fact, for me it's not about the pay really, but what I am doing to help others. Sure, I don't make 800K a year like you Mr. Interventional Cardiologist, however, I am satisfied with the money I make considering the background I come from. I am proud to say I once was from the inner city and always dreamn of going back and helping those who suffered like me. 200K is basically a million dollar pay for me-I don't run on dissatisfaction like some people."

I snapped myself like a grinch. My face turning a deep shade of red as I felt my body shake vividly. The hair behind my neck rising up to the tension I had just stirred in the atmosphere. I bit my tongue instantly realizing I had said too much-an overreaction is an understatement.

Silence surrounded the three of us. Ami clicked her tongue loudly.

"Welp, this one is running too..." She muttered to remind me this is like the 30th guy I am shooing away with my dramaticism.

Okay fine I am passionate about my beliefs and sure I say too much when being quiet is better, but my intention is always good.

His lips tightened and he cleared his throat awkwardly before taking a step back. He appeared to tap his fingers nervously against the side of his glass. I could tell he was taken aback by my unexpected outburst. What surprises me the most is that he hasn't reacted rashly to my statement. In fact, he seems borderline nervous and anxious-I can tell I have made him uncomfortable.

Smile smile smile like sunshineeee. Smile smile like sunshineeeee. My phone's ringtone suddenly blaring loudly and shattering the silence between us.

I looked up to see Shivaay biting his lips to surpress his laughter. Clearly, my ringtone is a contradiction to my grumpy, growly mood at the moment.

But hey, my psychiatrist told me I have to surround myself with positivity and bright, happy things, objects, colors-basically anything that will not make me be boring as a fucking rock.

I chucked my phone out of my dress's pocket and noticed it was my father's nurse, Ms. Sheikh. My heartbeat began to increase out of nervousness-a stark reminder how much I haven't come to terms with the fact I am going to be losing my father very soon in the upcoming months to his terminal illness.

"Excuse me, I have to take this." I heard my voice crack, a contrast to the loud booming one I had just bellowed moments ago. Without another thought, I immediately cascaded through the crowd of guests to find myself a private spot.

"Hello, Ms. Sheikh, is everything okay?" I slipped through the glass doors which led to the large open balcony.

"Hi Anika. Yes, your father is doing well. I just finished feeding him dinner and tucked him into his bed. I thought you might need an update, so just wanted to let you know." Taking a sigh of relief, I wiped away my tears and smiled softly.

"Thank you Ms. Sheikh for all you do. I appreciate it. How was he today by the way?"

"He is the same as always. He really isn't present mentally in terms of his environment and what is happening around him, however, he behaved well and did not seem to be upset today unlike last week..."

I could tell she was referring to last week's incident when dad suddenly began to shout and yell violently because of condition. I remember how I ran into the bedroom and saw Ms. Sheikh running towards me to find safety. My hands lunging towards him and holding him into an embrace to calm him down.

"I am glad he did okay today and didn't hurt anybody. My apologies again for what happened."

"No need to apologize Anika dear. It's not your father's fault-the disease just is overwhelming him at the moment and causing him to behave in this manner. Anyhow, please go and enjoy your best friend's wedding. Since the last few months, you haven't given yourself time at all nor gone out. I just wanted to let you know how your father is, so you can go ahead and enjoy the night. Okay now go go please."

Thanking her with my gratitude, I hung up the phone and walked steadily towards the end of the balcony. Leaning against the wall, I tilted my head down to look at the busy streets of Manhattan that were still bustling and bumbling.

Sliding my hand across the photos tab on my phone, I opened up a small picture of my father to remind myself of the man I knew before he had gotten sick. Standing in front of the Colorado mountains, he held a wide smile with a snowboard in his hand. His last trip to the beautiful mountains before he was diagnosed with CJD.

I wish I could do something to save you dad-I don't know why this illness chose you. You did not deserve this after everything you went through in life.

The fact he has forgotten everyone is what hurts me the most. or some odd reason, dad only recognizes me and nobody else anymore. Somehow, our roles have reversed. It's like I am his parent now and he is my child-my duty being to provide him comfort through his ill health before he passes away. His brain is degenerating and slowly he is losing his true self-the last thing any child would want to see their father go through. It hurts me everyday that piece by piece I am losing him and cannot do anything about it.

"You okay?" I jumped back immediately with my heart pounding at the speed of light. Placing my hand on my chest, I turned around only to bump into a large figure towering over me.

A pair of marble blue eyes met mine. He took a step towards me to bring light on to his face and reveal his handsome features. A sudden smoke covered his features and instantly into my throat triggering a violent cough.

"Shit what is that?!" I exclaimed as I jumped and hit my back against the balcony's railings.

He played with a cigarette in his mouth before taking another breath and blowing it into the cold, dry winter air.

"Sorry I didn't know you were here..." Shivaay turned his back and looked into the dark empty night. He dropped his arms across the balcony and leaned over it to only take a dreadful sigh. His strong, firm hand took a grip of his bow tie as he pulled it lose anxiously before taking another hit of his cigarette.

Tense, apathetic, and lost. The feature that can make any woman run away, but strangely I am not one of them. I can tell he is a broken empty soul-and yet I am attracted. Something about him is pulling me towards him and I want to stop myself, but I cannot.

"So Mr. Cardiologist, what is the number one risk factor for heart attacks in this country?" I leaned next to him-my shoulder brushing his gently. He appeared to shiver and distance the gap between us.

He tightened his lips in embrassment before taking another puff.

"Smoking I know..."

A small giggle escaped my lips as I let the wind run against my waves and pull them back gently. Shivaay's gaze shifted towards me and stood still upon me. He rolled his eyes and smirked-appearing amused.

"Anika, I am a hypocrite I know. We doctors are the biggest hypocrites in this world-we never follow our own advice."

"I know. I still eat a burger every week too and I am slightly overweight-we all have our weaknesses..."

Shivaay's smile widened appearing to like my comment. I crossed my arms and tipped myself closer to him. I surprising myself from my newly found boldness. Why am I even daring to flirt with a man, who I have no chance with? First of all, I never flirted in my life, so what is happening to me?

He tipped the cigarette in his mouth and slipped himself closer to me. The heat between our bodies burning like fire in the cool, misty night.

"What you call an extra weight on yourself-I call them curves and...I shall say you carry them beautifully." His husky voice drowning my senses. I felt my heart pounding loudly and my cheeks turning a shade of crimson red. I felt my breaths hitch for a moment. The smoke of his cigarette blended with his alcoholic breath-acting as the perfect conoation of intoxication.

"Umm....thanks I guess." Awkwardness surrounding me in the moment. I fiddled with my fingers nervously not knowing how to respond.

Why did he compliment me like that? Is he flirting back with me? Shit, oh shit. No no. No I should put the brakes on this or else I will make a fool of myself. I don't know how to proceed with flirting or beyond that. I am an idiot when it comes to these kind of things. Anika, you have lost it-stop it this instant.

"Sorry if I upset you in any way moments ago. I didn't mean to offend you Anika."

My heart dropping instantly as I looked into his apologetic eyes. Why is he apologizing for the mini outburst I had at him inside the reception hall? In fact I should be apologizing to him. Gosh, he is making it hard for me to run away from him right now.

"Shivaay you shouldn't be apologizing...I am sorry about how I reacted. Totally out of line right there..." I bit my lip and looked down ashamed from my act. It's not my fault. It's the new meds my psychiatrist prescribed to me-they have made me more moody and anxious rather than tuning me down.

I felt a warm hand brush against mine. The roughness of his skin slowly running against the softness of mine. Our hands wrapping around each other gently. My heart softened for a moment-having not felt a tender touch since a long time. I felt my eyes moisten and my throat wobble from a sudden tearfulness that overwhelmed me.

This moment making me realize how for years I have submerged my emotions into a grave and not dared to unlock them. A realization hitting me how I have been suffering for months after my father's diagnosis-and how much stress and grief I have been carrying unbeknownst to me. I have avoided being touched with love, let along kindness since years. I have always avoided my emotions and avoided being touched by others-oddly in this moment I am letting a stranger's touch comfort me and I like it.

"How about we bury the hatchet and start our introduction anew?" Shivaay noted. A small smile appeared on both of our faces. Somehow we both were enjoying this conversation and thought.

"Sounds good to me, Shivaay. Can you throw that cigarette away before we do that? I do not like smokers." I smirked and slipped my hand out of his grip. He gave me a teasing look and threw the cigarette under his foot.

"Anything you want, I shall do." He whispered in a low tender voice. I blushed slightly and looked down at my phone to distract myself, but clearly failing at it.

"So, where are you from originally? Because that accent is definitely not a native New Yorker's."

"You caught me. I am a Cali girl." I winked at him and let out a laugh, allowing my Calfornia accent roll out of me.

"Ah the great golden state-and what brings you into this state?"

"I like New York City-I always imagined myself here." I looked out towards the beautiful city skyline as Shivaay clicked his tongue and leaned himself against my shoulder.

"Why?"

"I like being a city where I am a stranger to everyone and can do whatever the hell I want."

Shivaay let out a loud laugh and threw his head back. "Anika, I must say I am becoming a fan of your blunt attitude."

"Thank you very much. And what about you? Who are you?" I questioned with curiosity, finding myself intrigued by the mystery he carried.

A serious look drew over him. He appeared to lose himself in a thought as he took a deep shaky breath and leaned closer towards me. The heat of his mouth teasing the side of my neck and arousing goosebumps upon it.

"Just a guy trying to survive."

My heart pausing for a moment. Sadness rippling through me. His small statement triggering my own hidden thoughts-somewhere I found myself relating to it.

"I know how that feels. Just surviving is a huge task. Isn't it Shivaay?"

We both held a melancholic smile and found ourselves encountering tender comfort amongst the both of us. He slowly leaned in closely towards me. Silence dancing elegantly between the both of us. Our hearts beated gently against each other. His chest touching mine briskly only to move back an inch.

"Are you trying to survive as well?"

A tear snatched itself away from me and slid down my cheek. Vulnerability embracing me tightly.

"Trying to survive and someone I love survive as well."

Shivaay's eyes widened for a moment, having been caught off guard from my confession.

"Helping my father survive is definitely more important than my own." My voice cracked for a moment as I bit my tongue to hold back my tears. His hands slowly wrapped into mines. I felt a current run through my skin. My fingers merging into his gently. The stranger's touch feeling like my own. If this was another moment, I would be running, but somehow Shivaay seems different-it feels like I have known him forever.

"I am sorry to hear that..."

"It's okay...l rather not talk about it."

We stood quietly with each other. His touch smoothening the wrinkles the grief that I carried within me.

"I am surviving for others too. It's hard, but you have to do it." Shivaay confessed as he leaned in more towards me.

"Who are you surviving for?" I asked as Shivaay raised his ear to the sound of music that was running out from the reception hall.

"Everyone left me except one. So for that person I am trying to survive-" Shivaay paused for second and smiled. The song "Love Story" slowly musing itself out of the hall. He turned and looked towards me with a smirk.

https://youtu.be/YqJHqhukndc

"If you don't mind, I would like a dance...with you on the most cheesiest song ever."

I let out a laugh realizing this song was likely from both of our teen years-somehow turning us into giggling, inexperienced teenagers once again.

My gaze lowered in shyness. I played with my hands nervously considering the fact I never have danced with a man before. If someone tells me this a dream, I will certainly believe it because it surely feels one. How many times have I seen this dream, every morning, where I am graced across the floor by a mysterious man, who fails to reveal his identity because right at time my alarm clock goes off?

"Um...sure." I spoke in a soft voice.

Before saying another word, he slid his hands around my waist. A sudden heave escaped from my lips. My hands took an instant hold of his shirt. Our terrified hearts collided against each other. His heartbeat bounded vigorously against my palms. A burning desire clearly lit itself between us.

Our bodies began to move gently in a rhythm. My eyes remained lowered staring at his bare chest that revealed itself underneath his shirt-his barren heart appearing to drown in an ocean of yearning.

"I got problems." I whispered-wanting to push myself away from him knowing fairly well I might bring my chaos into his life.

He pulled me out and twirled me back into his arms. My back colliding against his only to be pulled back. Our feet fumbling against each other as my clumsy self attempted to take a fall.

His strong hand taking a grasp of mine and pulling me out only towards him once more. Both of us breaking into laughter as we found ourselves twirling and gracing across the balcony. The moonlight falling on both of us-further igniting our temptations.

"So do I..." His lips cascaded down against my hear-making me shiver against him.

"I am messed up." I spoke up once more as we met each other's beloved gaze. He brought my hand up against his and brought it between our hearts. We slowly moved in a circle finding ourselves further enticed.

"Aren't we all doctors messed up? We all are broken...so we go and heal others hoping that somewhere we can heal ourselves..." We paused for a moment. Confusion filling us both-how we are able to confess our deepest thoughts to each other without any hesitation.

"Once something breaks, it's hard to gather the pieces together."

"But eventually they are gathered Anika."

Shivaay looked at me with hope. I can tell he is a broken man-and somehow he thinks my mere physical touch can heal him for a moment. Of course, like other men he see's physical touch as the treatment for his wounds-but little does he know it's only temporary.

"I don't have the energy to heal broken men. My sufferings already have burdened me enough." I was about to slip out of his arms only for his hands to slide up against my neck.

The moment took a pause. I reached a standstill and stopped in my tracks. The moonlight scattered across his innocent blue eyes. Longing simmered through our hearts' flesh. Our souls began to drown into each other slowly. His hand quietly pushed the strand of hair off of my cheek. Both of us taking a deep breath, trying to gather strength, but weakening our defenses to each other.

"I don't want to be healed." His speech slightly slurring from the alcohol that was intoxicating his senses. My nerves attempting to pull me back, but failing to do such.

I never have been kissed. Ever. Let alone has a man dared to come so close to me. My walls have always been too high-that they only have pushed people away rather then let them in. And in this time, I know this wrong. It's wrong to be with a stranger-everything that has happened so far tonight between him and I is wrong-wrong to the conservative morals I have grown up in, but how long will I let myself not experience life? Such a teenage thought, but it is true.

"Everything is so wrong right now, but why do I feel it's right with you?" I replied, wanting him to end whatever we are making right now, right here.

But, no he pulled me closer. Our lips barely an inch apart. Our breaths running rapidly against each other.

"Because it is..." And before he was able to complete his sentence, he let his heart take over.

Our lips collided against each other. His lips taking a soft, gentle hold of mines. My lips trembling against his, but pushing themselves harder against his. Our hands taking a sudden control of each other. His hands wrapping themselves into my hair only to caress my cheeks as my hands took a firm control of his shirt.

His toxic alcohol breath, scented with cigarettes driving my senses wild. Desire erupted between us. Heat wrapped itself within us letting us drown into a lake of fulfillment. Our bodies leaning against each other only to crash against the wall behind us. The moonlight teasing us with raindrops slowly falling upon us.

I felt my soul immediately grasp familiarity. It felt as if none of this was new-it felt like I was coming back home-as if I have known him since forever. He deepened the kiss and let his tongue roll on to mine only for me to push back and continue to hold on to my breaths.

And suddenly we stopped. His hands dropping away from me. Our bodies parting. Shock overwhelming the both of us.

His eyes appeared widened. His senses taking over his intoxication. He placed his hand on his mouth unable to believe he had sinned. My fingers ran itself against my own trembling lips, not able to gather to myself.

And before I was able to say a word, he clasped his hands against his mouth.

"Shit." And he made a run for it.

Just like every man I have met before, he ran. He ran like his life depended on it.

I collapsed against the wall behind me unable to believe what had just transpired.

Well that's a first kiss.

And I just gave it to a jerk.

Promo:

We stared at each other in silence. The elevator moving like a small snail down towards the lobby.

"Well we both clearly have problems." Shivaay muttered in annoyance.

I smirked and crossed my arms proudly.

"We both share the same psychiatrist office-what are the odds...?" I scoffed as Shivaay rolled his eyes and walked out of the elevator.

But, before I could make the beeline for my car, I heard his voice behind me.

"What are the odds to share the same psychiatrist office with the girl who gave me the best kiss of my life?" He announced loudly and proudly.

I shrieked in shock and looked back at him before slamming my purse against his shoulder. He broke into laughter as I walked away with a small smile playing on my lips.

****

"And what's your name little one?" I stared at the hazel eyed angel sitting quietly in the corner of the classroom. Her hand tensing up around the red crayon she held.

She looked up at me shyly before place shaking her hand through her bouncy curls and placing her thumb in her mouth.

"Khursheed...Khursheed Oberoi." I smiled from hearing her beautiful name as I stared her finding myself being reminded of Shivaay. 

****

Sorry for the delay in update, I just got very sick from a viral and had a rough two months on my surgery rotation for medical school. Everything is well now and I am sorry I have started writing after a long time and my writing is a bit rough, but hopefully the chapter was somewhat enjoyable. Thank you :).