Chapter Twenty-Eight

Hey, you're taking all my pain away

You're shaking like an earthquake

"Come on Horan... You can do this. You can fucking do this." I chanted over and over again as I stood in my doorway. I hadn't left my house yet... too nervous to walk over to the house next door.

I was nervous.

God I was so nervous.

"Stop being a chicken... Go talk to him. Let him know that you still... That you still care." My hand was hovering over the door knob, but for some reason I just couldn't open the door.

"C'mon Horan... Stop being such a pussy..." I was seriously having a conversation with myself. I knew I was going insane, I just didn't think I was to that point yet.

"If you don't do this now, you can forget about ever being with him. You have to do this." I let out another breath, nearly forcing myself to open the door. It didn't take me long to make it over to Harry's house, but I found myself once again very hesitant to even touch the door. 

"You can do this."

So I did. 

I knocked, only to end up waiting. 

"He's probably not even awake right now... God Horan you're an idiot." I whispered to myself, getting ready to turn around to leave. The door opened as soon as my foot hit the first step. I probably turned around a little too quick... a bright smile on my face that soon faded the second I saw it wasn't Harry. 

"Can I help you?" The boy asked. He was wearing nothing but his boxers, his disheveled and his cheeks a light pink. 

"Uh... Who are you?" 

"I'm Ashton, who are you?" 

"I'm Niall... I uh... I live next door." 

"Oh, you're Harry's fuck buddy." 

"Wh-What?" I felt hurt, really hurt... I should've known better... 

"Yeah, that's what Harry called you last night. Said you guys weren't anything more than fuck buddies. Well newsflash buddy, you've been replaced." Ashton smiled, and something about it just made me feel even more like an idiot. 

What would Harry want to do with me? 

I'm just a virgin who doesn't know about anything to do with sex... 

Why would he want me, when he can have Ashton?

He was obviously better looking... 

"This was... This was a mistake. I'm sorry for bothering you... I'll just go then." 

"I'll let him know you stopped by." 

"No... That's fine, he uh... He doesn't need to know. It was nice meeting you Ashton..." And just as quickly as I came, I left. But I didn't go home.

Instead I walked.

To where?

I'm not quite sure. 

All I know was that I wanted to get out of there... I couldn't be near him right now, even if it was in my own home. 

My chest hurt.

I felt sick.

It was like I was going through heartbreak all over again. 

And that was a feeling I never wanted to feel again. 

I stopped for a moment to compose myself, taking a deep breath as I tried to ignore the pain my chest and the overwhelming urge to cry. 

"You don't need him. You'll be just fine without him..." I whispered to myself, but for some reason even that felt like a lie. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, bouncing on my feet as I tried to be calm. 

I wasn't doing a very good job. 

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I answered it within a few seconds.

"H-Hello?" I croaked out, still bouncing on my feet.

"Hey! Are you okay?" Alex's voice said on the other end, and I just shook my head... then I remembered I was on the phone and he couldn't' see me.

"N-No... Can y-you come ge-get me?" A few tears rolled down my cheeks, my lip trembling as I finally broke a little more than I could handle. 

"Of course. Where are you exactly?" 

"B-By the park.... "

"I'm on my way, just stay right where you are love... I'll be there in a few minutes." 

"D-Don't hang up." 

"I won't babe." So I just stayed where I was, silently crying with Alex on the other end of the phone. Just as he promised Alex was there in just a few minutes, pulling me into his arms the second he saw me. I buried my face into his chest, my body shaking a little from the cold air. 

"Let's get you in the car... you're shivering." 

"I'm j-just cold." That just made me want to cry more. Harry used to say that all the time. 

Harry....

"That's why we're getting the car. We're gonna go to my place and you're going to explain everything, okay?" 

"Yeah..." 

______________________________________

"So what happened?" Alex was sitting on the other side of the table, his expression expectant. I looked down at the cup of hot chocolate in front of me, taking a deep breath as I closed my eyes. 

"I went to talk to Harry..." 

"I thought we both agreed it was better if you just stay away from him..." 

"I know... I just... I can't stay away from him Alex, he's like an addiction and I hate myself for even letting him get underneath my skin. I think.... I think I love him." 

"What do you know about love? You've never been in love." 

"You don't need to be so rude." 

"I'm just saying. Besides, Harry doesn't deserve your love or really you for that matter." 

"I know... I realized that today when I went to his house to find a nearly naked boy there. I thought... I thought I could change him Alex, I thought he would be willing enough to change for me." 

"That's the thing about Harry... He's never going to change. He was like this even when we dated, he makes you think he loves you... He sits there and tells you lie after lie. He's obsessed with breaking people's hearts. He's not who he says he is Niall, and I think it's just best if you stop talking to him period." Alex grabbed my hand, smiling at me as his brown eyes twinkled. 

"He always talked about how you broke his heart, but I don't see how... You're nothing like what he paints you out to be." 

"That's because I didn't break Harry's heart, he broke mine." 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Picture on the side is Alex.

He's played by my bae Alex Caplow.

Even though he's a dick in this story...

I just wanted to bring him in cause I love him more than life itself. 

I have fanart... 

But I feel like you guys need to know what Alex looks like. 

Told you Ashton would play a bigger part...

#SDA 

Dedication: 

ScribbledWords

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Connie xx