Chapter Thirty-Six

So, you'll be the one to bend

I'll be the one who breaks

From: Slut Next Door Received: 11:59 PM

I've got a lot of things I want to say to you, but not exactly enough time for me to say them. First things first... I'm sorry. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. You have every right to hate me, I deserve it. What happened last time I saw you, you have to understand that that isn't me. I'm not like that, I would never hurt you like that... Ever. I understand that you probably don't believe me, and that you probably don't want to ever see me again. It hurts thinking about that, but it's the least I deserve. I guess I just want you to know that I meant it when I said I love you, and if you're going to give me that whole bullshit excuse that I don't know what love is. I don't want to hear it. I might not know exactly what love is, but I know what means to love you. I won't bore you with the details, just thought I'd let you know. I also thought I'd let you know that I'm leaving. Don't really know for how long nor do I really know where I'm going. I guess I'm making this into one of those cliche girl movies... I guess this is goodbye for a little while Slut Dresser.

I just stared at my phone, my hands shaking as I read the text over and over again. I didn't really know how I was supposed to feel.

Happy that he apologized?

Angry about what he did?

Pissed that he left?

Sad that I didn't stop him?

I didn't know, I honestly didn't.

"Niall? You okay?" Alex's voice sounded from the living room, forcing me to leave the kitchen to see what he wanted. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate Alex's help, in fact I really did. He was a great guy, and has helped me through a lot since we met each other.

"I'm fine... I thought you went home?" My voice was a little hoarse, from the screaming or the crying I honestly couldn't tell you.

"I did... I uh... I wanted to make sure you were okay though, cause like... I know that... I know that Harry left and I just... I don't know why I'm here really." Alex gave a defeated sigh, looking down at his feet.

"That's nice of you Alex... Thanks." I gave him a tight smile, but really my coldness wasn't meant for him. My emotional turmoil concerning Harry was driving me crazy, sadly I couldn't lash out at him.

"Do you want to like... Talk about it?"

"It's nothing that concerns you." I noticed how Alex flinched at the coldness that was more than evident in my voice.

"I'm just trying to help."

"Well then stop trying. I don't need you to come in and ask me if I'm okay every fucking second of every fucking day. I am more than okay, I'm fucking perfect okay? So leave me alone." I hissed, not really feeling all that bad that I was being a monster to Alex. He needs to stop acting like he knows what I'm going through.

He doesn't know what I'm going through.

"Niall... I'm not leaving you alone like this. Last time I did that you nearly hung yourself from the living room fan."

"So what?"

"You're suicidal, that's what."

"It's not such a bad thing."

"It is when I care about you." Alex looked me right in the eyes, I could see the fear that swam in the brown irises, but I could also see the kindness. Yet I still I had the nerve to scoff at him, almost spitting in his face.

"You can't care about me. I'm not someone you care about Alex. I'm just some time bomb waiting to go off, and the sooner I light the fuse the better for everyone else. You can't care about me." Alex shook his head, taking a step towards me as I took a step back.

"That's where you're wrong. You might be a ticking time bomb, but I can help you keep that fuse unlit. Just give me a chance Niall, that's all I ask from you."

"Why should I even give you the chance?" My wall was slowly starting to crumble, the rational thoughts starting to come back. I stopped backing away from him, my eyes looking right back into his.

"I don't really have a reason for you to. I just... I care about you, and I think somewhere deep inside that little head of yours... You care about me too. I'm not going to lie to you Niall, I'm not going to do what he did. I'm not going to hurt you." Alex was closer to me now, his face a few mere inches away from mine.

"How can you be so sure?" I whispered, biting my lip a little as I looked at him.

"I'm not, and I guess that's the beauty of it all... I'm diving into this head first, in hopes that I can help you. You don't deserve what he did to you Niall, god you never deserve anything like that. What you felt with Harry... that wasn't love, and you know it. He doesn't have a single idea what love is, but... I do. I'm not saying I love you Niall, cause I don't yet. I'm not forcing you to do anything with me, nor am I saying you need to be in a relationship with me... But I want you to realize that I'm here. I will always be here. Remember that when he comes knocking on that door again begging for forgiveness." Alex backed away from me, leaving me breathless for a moment.

"Why do you even care?" I asked after a moment, my voice finally back to normal.

"I could give you a million reasons why, but for right now I'll just settle with one... I care because someone as beautiful as you, doesn't deserve to cry over someone as heartless as him. ."

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"LIKE OH MY GOD ALEX IS SUCH A DICK." 

No.

No he's not.

Remember that Harry's the one who lied to everyone. 

There are no good or bad guys in this story.

You guys can pick your sides, but don't go around calling a character a dick just because he said a couple things against the main character.

Now with that out of the way, I feel like it's about time I let you all know that I've got a sequel planned for this story. 

There's going to be about 45 chapters for this story. 

So yeah. 

Dedication: 

mynarrycupcakes

Comment

and

Vote

Connie xx