vance

How can I forget my name, though, if I do not know it in the first place?

"Vance, are you quite alright? You look ill," a voice beside me says. It belongs to a tall man with soft features and mousy brown hair, and though he seems familiar, I cannot place him.

I ignore him as I wash my hands. He must be mad, I think, talking to a mirror like that. And someone named Vance, too. What an odd name.

"Vance. Vance."

Wringing my hands underneath the cool water, I rub the soap into my skin well, before I rinse them, shake off the water droplets with a few shakes of my hands, take a paper towel and dab the moisture from between my fingers. Deciding not to throw him a judgemental look, I make for the door of the lavatory.

"Hey, you."

I stop with my fingers ghosting on the doorknob, and I turn around. "Me?"

"Yes. Vance. What's the matter with you?"

"Why are you calling me Vance?" I demand, my brow knitting itself into a frown.

The man looks shocked, worried. Does he know me? Do we know each other? Is he a friend, perhaps, that he seems to care about me? "Because that's your name."

I scoff. "No it isn't."

His next expression is challenging, albeit unamused as he crosses his arms over his chest. I pay attention to the way his blue jacket creases up where it slopes gently down towards his shoulder, where his fingers grip the fabric, how it stretches over his elbows. "Then, pray tell, what is?"

I have no answer to that.

As a result I allow him to take me by the arm and lead me out of the bathroom, escorting me to the nearest security guard. I watch them, blankly, as they exchange murmured words. The next thing I know is that the guard is now leading my by the arm. I feel like a child.

"Where are we going?" I ask, as we turn a corner.

"Sir Beneš demanded you were taken back home, Sir," he answers.

"Why?"

I don't receive a reply to that. The guard drives me home and leads me up into my apartment, only leaving once he has ensured that I can fix myself a cup of coffee, unaided.

Within the hour, I receive an unexpected guest. A ring at my doorbell. Once. Twice. Urgent, pressured, and yet monotonous, calm. I open the door without hesitation, and greet my intruder with a muttered 'hello' as he pushes past me into the living room. I shut the door behind him and follow him as he traipses through the glass apartment, finally pulling us both into the lavatory.

I'm flattened against the locked door. The intentional discomfort is a piece of genius architecture: the minute amount of privacy that we have behind this one door is one that is not supposed to last; unarmed by security cameras, the area is tight, cramped.

"Project Chrysalis," the man says, and I turn my head around to look at him properly. Certain judgemental thoughts run through my head then. Is this his form of greeting? Not even a hello, good day, how are you- but then again, this is Project Chrysalis. And yet, why would he come to me?

His face is familiar, but one that I can't place. It's lost in a great sea of facts, all blurred, all beyond my reach. I can't pinpoint a single one. Every person is now a soul in my head, their expressions engraved in my now passive memory, stored somewhere where my conscience can only scratch the surface. I'm stuck in my own mind, and it terrifies me, that I don't know anything.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Project Chrysalis. Tell me what you know about it." I can feel the urgency in his tone, see the fierce desperation in his eyes. He wants knowledge. He wants information, and only I can give him that.

Except I won't.

Because it isn't in my place to give away information to people like-- Bernard. "Bernard," I suddenly whisper. "Bernard?" I repeat. His expression confirms everything, and in my relief, I sag against the locked door, running a hand over my face and repeating his name, shaking my head. Oh, thank goodness.

It was only a side-effect, then. The period of terror is over, and I know I owe him nothing.

"I don't know anything, except for the fact that it will save Tetrahmon." I smile. "It is the future."

The sound of gritting teeth ensues. "Not if we can help it."

"We?" An infantile giggle escapes me as I still try to recover from my intense relief, my heartbeat slows, my vision stops spinning. "Who said anything about we?"

"I did. And know that if you breathe a word of this to anyone, she will gut you like a fish."

She? She. Yes, of course, she. But we don't have fish anymore, and so nothing matters except for President Malcolm and the state. Their threats no longer scare me.

"Tell me what you know." He is restraining from raising his voice as he pulls me in close by the collar of my well-ironed shirt.

"It will save us," I hiss.

He is gone before I can say another word.

▿

"Vance."

"Yes? Adamík?"

"Are you alright?"

"I am, thank you. Is there anything the matter?" I ask, as I begin to unbutton the topmost buttons of my dress shirt. The night falls rapidly, far too rapidly. Soon, they will announce the dormant time. That is the schedule: we sleep at ten, wake at seven, and then, we go to work, to school, and carry out our planned days.

"Project Chrysalis is now in its first stage," he begins. "With the injections."

"Yes, I am aware. What's the next stage?" I ask.

"Global implementation. There are things beyond the Wall, Vance, threats to the city. Soon, they will be sending out troops and scouting drones to scan the planet for any survivors of the storm."

I smile. "A saviour for the world. At last," I whisper.

"Nobody has asked anything on your leave yet, although show up for work tomorrow and everything should stay as it is. I told them you weren't looking well."

"Thank you."

"Now sleep well, Vance. I'll see you in the morning."

Finally, Tetrahmon will become a planetary mission. Finally, our world will achieve what it has always been lacking of: perfection.

a/n: here's the new chapter! how did you like that? Did that come as a surprise, what do you think of Project Chrysalis?

how to be the bee's knees: vote, comment, add this to your reading list, or even follow! Remember, you might (probably will) get a dedication for the next chapter!

Cheers,

Sarah x