"IT'S A GIRL!" They cheered, jumping up and down.

Billie Joe smiled softly. "She's all yours. Have you decided on a name?"

"Um not really. But we have a list Gerard wrote out." Dallon explained.

"Can I see it?" Billie Joe asked.

Gerard searched both pockets before handing over the crumbled list of names.

Girls:

Helena

Emily

Isabelle

Petekey

Boys:

Ray Jr.

Gerard Jr.

Esteban

Donnie

Mick

Petekey

Billie Joe studied the list for a moment before nodding his head. Then he looked confused. "What's Petekey? And why is it there twice?"

"Some weird name Mikey and Pete came up with. We couldn't tell if it was a girl name or a boy name. Maybe it's gender neutral- who knows. All I know is that it's weird and I don't like it one bit."

"I don't care what you think as long as it's about Petekey." Pete said.

"Pete you're not making sense right now." Frank said.

"Can it, Iero. Nobody asked for your opinion." Mikey said, defending Pete.

"No more arguing please. Why is Donnie under boys, I thought that was gender-neutral too." Billie Joe said, even more puzzled.

Gerard grumbled before pulling a greasy pen out of a third pocket and scribbling Donnie under the girls list.

"Pick your name and enjoy meeting your daughter!" Billie Joe said. "I see you have food out on the counter and a crib all ready to go. Has the house been baby proofed?"

"Yes!" Ray answered, remembering the tedious task he had done earlier.

"Then you guys are all set to go. Any more questions?"

"How old is she?" Mikey asked.

"About six months."

They all awed in delight.

"Good luck. I have faith in you." Billie Joe said before saying a quick goodbye and leaving once again.

"GUYS! HE HAS FAITH IN US! WHAT A COMPLIMENT!" Frank yelled. "THIS IS RARE AND PROBABLY WON'T EVER HAPPEN AGAIN."

Everyone cheered.

"So what should we name her? It can be Helena, Isabelle, Emily, Donnie I guess, or... or Petekey. Let's take a vote." Patrick suggested.

Patrick quickly ripped up eleven pieces of paper for the voting process. He grabbed an extra blanket that wasn't used when they made a crib earlier. He hung the blanket over two chairs and made sure there was enough light behind it.

"As you can clearly see I have just created a proper place to vote in private. You shall take a slip of paper from me, go inside, and write down which name you want to pick. Then put your slips into my fedora and I'll draw a name randomly."

"Can I vote?" Bob asked.

"Um..."

It was very uncomfortable.

"All in favor of Bob Bryar having the right to vote say aye." Patrick said.

Several people said aye.

"Okay I'm pretty sure most said yes. Majority rules. Bob, you may vote."

The process was smooth and went well. Once everyone placed their voting slips into the magical fedora. Patrick lightly shook the fedora side to side and shuffled up the slips. "Pete. Can you grab a fresh slice of paper and write down tallies for each name?"

"Please refrain from calling it a slice of paper ever again."

"One vote for Helena! One vote for Isabelle! Another vote for Helena!"

Four minutes later Pete had tallied up the points for Patrick and settled the score. He read the scores carefully. Three votes for Petekey, three votes for Emily, five votes for Helena, two votes for Isabelle, no votes for Donnie.

"Guys there are thirteen votes. There's only twelve of us including Bob." Pete said, shaking his head in frustration.

"Okay guys, fess up. Who voted twice?" Patrick said.

Everyone stared at Bob. He threw his hands up defensively. "It wasn't me! I voted for Isabelle and that's it!"

"Well if it wasn't Bob, which I am having hard time believing, then who was it?" Dallon said.

"Okay fine!" Mikey said. "it was me..."

"Really Mikey?" Gerard said, shaming his little brother.

"Sorry. I voted for Petekey twice..."

"Alright we gotta subtract one vote for Petekey. Here are the new results." Pete said, showing the chart he made.

Helena - 5

Emily - 3

Isabelle - 2

Petekey - 2

Donnie - 0

"Helena it is!" they cheered.

Everyone turned to look at the baby. So far they had neglected her and spent time voting while Helena lay on the couch by herself. She could have rolled off! How irresponsible of them! Patrick picked up the baby carefully.

"H-hi Helena." he said, smiling at the baby in his arms.

He sat down on his couch and rocked her carefully. He stuck his finger out and Helena carefully took it and wrapped her small fingers around his thumb. Patrick's eyes watered.

"Helena. We're going to be your dads for a whole day." Mikey said, tearing up.

"I think she smiled at you!" Ryan said.

"No she didn't. Babies can't smile. And if they do they don't mean it." Andy said.

"Yes they can and she just did." Patrick said.

"She is so adorable." Joe said. He sat down next to Patrick and stroked Helena's light brown hair.

"I can't believe we get to have her for a whole day!" Gerard said.

~~~~~~~~~~
One hour later
~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe we have to have her for the whole day!" Gerard cried out angrily, desperately trying to jam the earplugs Joe gave him in his ears.

"Does anyone else need earplugs? I got plenty more. Andy sure is a snore-er so I packed enough for me and Pete and Patrick for a week's worth, plus extra." Joe said.

"She won't stop crying!" Pete sobbed, rolling around on the floor. Pete seemed to be in some strange state. Every time the baby cried louder, he cried just as loud as he riled around on the floor yelling. It was quite disturbing.

Andy sat on Pete's chest holding a pillow over his mouth trying to muffle his cries without accidentally killing him. This way they'd only have one crying baby to deal with.

"Andy stop, you're gonna suffocate him!" Patrick said, pulling Andy off of Pete.

"I'll gladly suffocate him!"

In case you couldn't tell, everything was just complete chaos. It was far too loud and everyone had headaches. Helena had been wailing on for the past forty five minutes. Her cuteness had only lasted a good fifteen minutes before the crying began. Now everyone was turning on each other.

"We were so stupid to think this was going to go smooth." Brendon said, pouting himself an invisible beer.

"Brendon!" Ryan snapped. "You can't drink in front of children!"

"So what? She ain't tellin' anyone."

"Whatever." Ryan said before taking a sip from Brendon's invisible cup.

"Oh gosh I almost forgot about your weird invisible drinking habits." Ray whined.

"Shut up." Ryan yelled.

"Let's remember that none of us are dads so we don't know what parenthood is like. All we need to do is stop and th-" Mikey started.

"Shut up, Mikey! This is a dire situation here." Gerard yelled.

Pete cried harder.

"Guys I'm going to bring Pete to his room. I'm worried he's gonna hurt himself rolling around like this." Patrick said.

"He'll equally as likely to hurt himself in his room. He might even fall off his bed." Joe said, suspicious.

"I'll just... stuff him in the closet."

"No Patrick that's weird. You're holding Helena here too! I'll take Pete upstairs." Joe said. He grabbed Pete's hand and helped him up before bringing him upstairs.

Patrick frowned.

"Shut up, Gerard. You're just jealous that the baby likes me more!" Mikey said.

"Oh gosh they're still going at it?" Frank asked.

"No she does not like you more!" Gerard said, stomping his foot like a two year old. "You wanted to name her Petekey!"

"So what? It's a beautiful name! Patrick, gimme Helena I want to show Gerard she likes me more."

"Um..." Patrick said, not sure if it was safe to give a baby to an angry adult.

"No Patrick, give her to me!" Gerard yelled.

"Um..."

Dallon stepped to the right of Patrick and leaned in his ear. "I'll take the baby, don't worry. You go find Pete. I got this."

"Thanks." Patrick said while handing Dallon the baby. "I owe you."

Dallon gave him a reassuring smile before Patrick took off to find Pete. When he got to the top of the stairs he realized Pete must no longer be upset. After all, he didn't hear any crying. He knocked twice before he heard Pete tell him to come in. He opened the door and smiled at Pete who looked as if he was never crying.

"Where is everyone?" Pete asked.

"Downstairs with Helena." Patrick answered

"Helena?"

"Yeah. The baby. You don't remember?"

"Oh the baby! Petekey?"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "No, Helena. You seriously don't remember this? You were acting so weird." Patrick said, laughing a bit.

"I was?" Pete asked, straightening up, smiling.

"Yeah! You were rolling around on the floor in tears! You were in a strange state."

"I was?" Pete asked again, shocked. "No, please tell me you're joking, that's humiliating. Did everyone see?"

The two were laughing hard now.

"Yes! Remember the Dijon mustard incident that one time?" Patrick asked, wiping tears from his eyes.

Pete was laughing too hard and couldn't speak. He nodded his head and laughed even harder.

"I told you it was Dijon! That's what you get!"

Patrick was talking about an accident that happened a few months ago. The members of Fall Out Boy were having a cookout at Andy's house. Andy accidentally bought Dijon mustard instead of regular yellow mustard and Pete, being the fool he sometimes is, didn't believe Patrick's warning. He covered his hot dog in the stuff and when he bit into it, he went into a shock from the bad taste. He rolled around on the ground crying and yelling about how bad it was. Once he came to a few minutes later, he had very fuzzy memory. It made no sense.

After they stopped laughing, silence came across them and it was awkward. Pete, not knowing what to do started to say something and then stopped. The he did something crazy. Something he had wanted to do for a long time. He slowly leaned into Patrick and closed his eyes. He wondered if Patrick was leaning in too.

"Oh my god! Come on you guys!" Andy yelled from the doorway.

Pete jerked away and opened his eyes. He quickly noticed Patrick's were closed too before they flung back open and stared at Andy. He was standing in the door frame observing them with a look of annoyance and slight disgust on his face.

"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the gooddamn door?" Brendon asked from behind Andy.

Andy and Brendon snickered and giggled like a bunch of annoying schoolgirls.

Patrick realized he never shut it on his way in. Oooops. Rookie mistake. His face reddened and he lashed out. "What are you guys even doing here anyway?"

"Well we need your help." Brendon said.

"Badly." Andy added.

"We found out what's wrong with Helena."

"And why she won't stop crying."

"What? What is it?" Pete and Patrick asked.

"Is she okay?" Patrick said, standing up in fear.

"Yes. She's okay. But... but we have a code red."

"Code red? What is that?" Pete asked.

"We got a full diaper."