"Thank you for coming, Odd S—uh, Odd...d'ah...ah...ah-CHOO!"

"Gesundheit!" Agent Oscar and Agent Opal immediately told her.

The old bespectacled woman sitting at the elementary school teacher's desk in front of them sniffled and reached for a hankie. "Yes, thank you. So sorry, I—uh, I can't—oh dear, I—ah—ah-CHOO!"

Oscar started to say gesundheit again, but Opal flicked her wrist to stop him. "Can you tell us what your odd problem is?"

"Yes, one moment." The woman loudly blew her nose and tossed the used tissue behind her into a disturbingly large pile on the floor, then after a moment's thought, proceeded to plug her nose. "I have this odd allergy, you see," she continued in a nasally voice, "and I can't find a doctor to give me any medication to help with it."

Not for the first time, Opal wished her doctorate was completed already. Barely a month into the Specialized Odd-ology portion of her studies, she hadn't yet covered the topic of allergies. This is clearly a problem for a real doctor, she mused, not an agent-slash-doctor-in-training. What is an agent even supposed to do in this situation?

It was Oscar who quite obliviously answered her question. "Well, um, d-do you know what y-you're allergic to?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm allergic to kids."

The two agents gaped. "Kids?" they echoed.

"L-like us kids?" Oscar asked, flabbergasted.

"And like your students?" Opal added.

"Yes, like you kids!" the woman moaned. Taking her hand from her nose, she gestured at her second-graders, who were sitting quietly in their desks watching the whole ordeal in awe. "And yes, it makes it very hard when I have students to tea—ah-CHOO!—teach."

Oscar frowned. "Th-then why'd you choose to be a teacher?"

"Never mind that!" the woman snapped, her face scrunching up with the effort of holding back another sneeze. "Ju...juh...ah-CHOO! Just get me—ah-ah-CHOO!—cured!"

Opal and Oscar exchanged glances. "What do we do, Opal?" Oscar whispered out of the side of his mouth. "Do you know how to cure this yet?"

"I'm an agent, not a doctor!" Opal hissed back.

"Soooooo is that a no?"

Opal rolled her eyes. "Let's just take her back to HQ and let the other nurses deal with her!" She turned to the teacher. "Ma'am, we'll need you to come with us. The equipment and the agents to help with your allergy are back at Odd Squad Headquarters."

Oscar scratched his head. "D-does that mean we're s-s'posed to take her back in the, uh, tubes? Are adults e-even allowed in the tubes?"

"How should I know? I'm a doctor-in-training, not an agent!" With a shrug and a sigh, Opal ignored Oscar's confused look and stepped forward to take the teacher by the arm, bidding her to stand up. "Here, this next part may be a little unnerving for you, so just stay calm and do what we say, okay?"

The woman nodded and opened her mouth, but all that came out was, "Ah-CHOO!"

"Come on, Oscar!" Opal beckoned for her partner, and he hurried over to take the teacher's other arm. Leading the sneezing woman over to the pencil sharpener on the wall, they pushed her through the tube entrance with a loud "Ah-CHOOOOOOOOOoooooooo..."

As Oscar jumped in after her, Opal turned to the second-graders (who she realized were about her age) with the most serious face she could muster. "Class dismissed for the afternoon!" Amidst loud cheering and applause, she too hopped into the tubes.

In the end, the teacher had to wait nearly two hours in a gigantic building full of kids before any of the nurses were available to help her, and another hour for the preparation of the EpiPen because her constant sneezes kept ruining the nurses' concentration (not to mention the fact that none of the nurses knew how to prepare one without a doctor). Opal and Oscar were indeed reprimanded for bringing a grownup through the tubes, but there was little Ms. O could do since they weren't real agents and hadn't learned that. On the plus side, as a result of the fiasco, Opal was consequently allowed more time off from work to pursue her studies.

* * * * *

In all five years of knowing her, Oscar had never seen his partner so stressed out before.

Opal was sitting at her desk, frantically going through a crammed notebook highlighting words here and there, scribbling on flashcards from time to time, only pausing now and then to toss her blonde braid back over her shoulder whenever it fell in her face. She'd been doing this for the better part of the day now, even skipping lunch to continue studying. Oscar knew why, of course: her first set of Odd-ology Finals were at the Big Office tomorrow on August 4th, and she couldn't afford to fail now. Not after eight years of passing all the normal medical exams.

The problem was, Opal was clearly growing frustrated. From time to time she would clench her fists and shake them, slam her head on the desktop, even angrily growl and moan loudly about how impossible it was to remember everything. Combined with the constant fluttering of paper and pencil scratches, it made Oscar exhausted just to watch her. Eventually he couldn't stand it anymore. Setting down the Hoverinator he'd been examining, he got up and went around to her desk. "Opal, d-do you need some help?"

Opal rested her chin in her hands and let out an overwhelmed sigh. "How?" she muttered. "You can't take the test for me, and I don't think you'd want to."

"Th-that's not what I m-meant. I meant, do you n-need some help studying?"

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so." She handed him her pile of flashcards. "Read me the terms and I'll tell you the definitions."

Looking at the cards in his hands, Oscar remembered once watching an agent display calendar pages in midair, and had an idea. "Or we could try this," he said, reaching for the Hoverinator. "Look, watch me be awesome!" Tossing the flashcards in the air, he whipped up the gadget and fired.

And missed completely.

Instead, he hit one of the security agents walking along the balcony above, who then began to shout in alarm as he rose into the air. "Sorry!" Oscar called, quickly changing the settings on the gadget and firing a reversal beam. That settled, he looked down to find the flashcards littered all over the floor and his partner glaring at him. "M-maybe we should do it y-your way, heh," he said in embarrassment, bending down and quickly scooping up the cards. "So, um...l-let's start with Pirate-itis?"

"Easy. Airborne microbes that can only be contracted from the breath of a full-blooded pirate, permanently turns the victim into a pirate themselves. Treatable by soaking feet in brown gravy, reversible only with appropriate gadget. What's next?"

"Good! H-how about Acute Lobster-itis?"

"Disorder where ingestion of a lobster or crab claw diverts those cells to somatotropin or the human growth hormone, interfering with limb growth and causing anywhere from one to all four limbs to become crustacean. Reversible through either appropriate gadget use or hormone extraction and injection. What's next?"

"Okay, um, try Opuntia Braccaeviridis poisoning."

"Contracted through skin contact with the spray from the O. Braccaeviridis cactus. Interferes with somatotropin by increasing production and injecting hormones from multiple species. Reaction speeds up with increase of fear-induced adrenaline. Treatable with antidote made from equal parts unicorn tears, loganberry juice, giraffe's milk, and water. What's next?"

"Wow. You're d-doing great, Opal. Now try..." Oscar looked at the next card and couldn't help but grin. "Try the Jinx."

Opal gave him a rare knowing smile. "Type of telepathic influenza affecting the brain and vocal cords. Only appears in group outbreaks, causes victims to talk at the same time as one another and can only be contracted once before immunity is developed. Curable through appropriate gadget use, currently stolen and claimed by villain Jimmy Jinx which drove us insane when we both contracted the disease!"

Oscar chuckled at the memory. "It wasn't my fault Professor O g-gave you the Jinx on purpose so y-you'd be immune to it!"

"Well, it wasn't my fault Professor O wanted me to also give it to you on purpose so the effects could accurately be tested! And it certainly wasn't my fault Ms. O insisted we track down Jimmy Jinx ourselves, even when we were infected!"

Both agents lost it and burst out laughing. After months had gone by, the experience was now funny to look back on. They had been in such a terrible state that day, trying to interrogate other villains and communicate with each other while talking at the same time, that the Shapeshifter of all people took pity on them and found Jimmy and his cube herself. Never had it been more obvious that both Opal and Oscar were misfits in the Investigation Department.

Eventually they calmed down, and Oscar read through the rest of the stack of words for Opal to define. "Well, I-I don't see what had you s-so worried! You got everything r-right!"

"Thanks, Oscar," she said, taking back the flashcards. "I guess you're right. I shouldn't be so nervous."

"No, of c-course you should be! It shows you c-care," Oscar insisted. "Just don't l-let it control you."

Opal gave him a strange look that held something like awe. "Sage advice from a six-year-old," she murmured. Then she abruptly stood up. "I should go take a break from work and get a bite to eat. See you later, partner!" One moment later, over her shoulder: "Oh, and I don't like the new haircut!"

Oscar's hand flew up to his new mohawk defensively. "I g-got the idea from Agent Odie, th-thank you very much!" he yelled back. "He's got a mohawk t-too, you know!" Rolling his eyes, Oscar grabbed his Hoverinator and began tinkering with it again. Two more years with someone like Opal. Wonder who will drive the other crazy first, the older sister or the little brother?

* * * * *

One week later, the news came.

Opal arrived through the tubes to work that morning feeling strangely content and not sure why. But when she got to her desk, she was just in time to see the mail cart rolling away, pushed by whichever invisible maintenance agent was on duty. What it left behind was a large blue diamond-shaped envelope, postmarked from the Big Office in Cittàgazze and resting innocently in front of her computer.

Scarcely daring to breathe, Opal picked it up and slid her finger under the flap.

Slowly and ever-so-carefully she tore it open.

Eased out the papers and the cardboard sheet.

Convinced herself to start reading.

Let out a loud cheer.

And scared poor Oscar to death.

Opal whirled around to find her partner crouched in fright at the base of the stairwell behind her. "Sorry, Oscar! I didn't see you there. But LOOK AT THIS!" Throwing all seriousness to the winds, she dashed over and shoved the papers in his face.

Oscar leaned back a little and adjusted his glasses. "'Dear Agent Opal,'" he read. "'Congratulations! On behalf of Odd Squad, we are delighted to inform you that you have passed all three of your exams with exemplary marks!'" Oscar's jaw dropped and he stared at her. "You took all three tests for your Finals?"

He's shocked and yet not stuttering, she noted in amusement. Impressive. "Yes, I did."

"But...why?"

Opal shrugged. "You remember what happened the day we brought in the woman allergic to kids. The Medical Department needs a doctor. The sooner I can take over, the better."

"Three years in one..." Oscar clicked his tongue. "No wonder you were so nervous! Well, I'm happy for you, you deserve it." He skimmed through the rest of the letter, then flipped it around to look at the other papers.

"That's my diploma," Opal pointed out proudly. "It says I'm certified in Odd-ology and eligible for employment in the Medical Bay. I can put it with my Medicinal diploma from last year. Oh, and those must be my test scores! I have to look at these." Taking the papers back, she eagerly read through the numbers and comments.

Thus occupied, she barely registered hearing Oscar ask her, "S-so when do you start?"

"Oh, immediately of course!" she told him, unable to tear her eyes away from the printout. "At least, as soon as all the paperwork is in order. I suppose I should think about redoing my hairstyle—a normal braid just doesn't seem very doctor-like. And thank goodness I never have to wear a necktie ever again! Never trusted those things. Give me some good scrubs and a blue lab coat any day..."

In all her excitement, Opal never once noticed the sad look on Oscar's face. Nor that his stutter had returned.