"SEE, HERES HOW IT WORKS: there are people with powers. My power is to remove their powers when they're around me. So, if they want to remove their powers, they can pay me and I...I dunno, stand next to them?" Ned shrugged. He hadn't thought that far. He held up a piece of paper and added, "I even made a fly - Luna!" 

The girl had leaned forward, doing her best to eat the paper. Ned blocked Luna with his free hand, holding the flyer out of reach. 

Perhaps a toddler wasn't the best sounding board. But Ned was the only person Jerry trusted to watch her kid, and what was he supposed to do? Say no? He was pretty sure she'd fire him. Besides, Luna was a good kid when she wasn't trying to eat everything within five inches of her face or floating out the window. 

You see, it wasn't that Ned was Jerry's most trustworthy employee. Actually, he was pretty sure she wouldn't have trusted him with a goldfish, let alone her kid. But Jerry happened to have also been born October 1st, 1989, and while her ability to float had been developed enough to not be problem, Luna's was not. Her last baby sitter had strapped a brick to her. Which wouldn't have been too bad...if not for it caused her to cry so hard she threw up (and also that was probably considered a form of child abuse.) 

On account of his brick-less method, Ned ended up considered the better option. As long as he stayed near Luna and made sure to strap her into the highchair when he walked away from her, she was fine. 

"Uncle Ned, can have sherbet?" Luna asked.

"First of all, not your uncle. Second of all, no," Ned said. "Your mom said you already got some."

Luna pouted.

"So," Ned held up the flyer again. "Thoughts? I felt it was a little crowded, but it gives the vibe, you know?" 

"It looks like sherbet."

"I guess the colors are a bit -" Ned paused. He squinted at Luna as she started to giggle. "Well, aren't you clever? I'm impressed, but you're a bit too early on that one. Shoulda waited until I forgot."

Luna leaned forwards again. This time her eyes widened and began to water. Her lower lip began to tremble. Ned just gave an incredulous look. The toddler was at the age where she believed she could get anything by looking adorable enough. Ned had no clue where the idea came from. Jerry definitely didn't give into that sort of stuff. Maybe Brick Babysitter felt bad about the pseudo-child abuse. 

"No, no, I will not be conned by a four year old."

Luna's eyes widened even further.

"Okay, that's just creepy, kid."

She started to whimper. Shit. Ned needed to think fast, because the last thing he needed was Luna wailing about the injustice of not getting her favorite treat. 

"What if I let you make a video, huh?" Ned offered. 

That seem to get Luna's attention. She sniffled and wiped her eyes. 

"Can I make it pretty?" Luna asked.

"Yeeesss," Ned said, doing his best to hide his reluctance. 

Ever since Ned had begun his project, Luna had basically been the Co-Captain of the group. After all, he wasn't going to leave her alone while he worked, but he also wasn't going to put his plans on hold. There had been one thing Luna had become obsessed with: the video editing software. It was one of those cheap things that had a hundred different effects options that only seemed to get worse the further you went. She loved it. It was the greatest thing in the world to her. 

Unfortunately, she wasn't exactly an artist. Luna's idea of "pretty" meant practically caking the screen in flowers, glitters, and bubbles. That wasn't even accounting for the hundreds of goofy transitions she insisted they must do. 

Ned could barely seen the actual video and he somehow ended up sounding like he was on helium through the entire video. He didn't even know what they hit to make that happen.

 So of course, Luna loved it. 

"You'll keep it, right Uncle Ned?" Luna asked.

"Still not your uncle." Ned squinted at the screen. It certainly had...character. "You know what? It'll get attention. Good job, kid."

Luna beamed. It was only after Ned gave her a bowl of sherbet as a reward that he realized his mistake. 

━☽【❖】☾━

IT DID NOT GET ATTENTION. Ned was going to eat his shoe. Sure, he knew he was pushing his luck. There was barely any of them. Not counting the Sparrow Academy, Jerry, and himself, there were only 33 others who could possibly want this services. And that was assuming every kid survived and every single one was totally shit at their powers. But still. Come on! He'd even posted it on those forms where people just bitch about how their super cool super powers got them called weird once. 

Like seriously. It wasn't even that expensive. His inhaler cost more, and he needed that fucking live. Of course, he wouldn't have been afford it either, but that was for a different reason. 

His mother. 

Now, Jerry always said he needed to remove his parents' access to his bank account. That the fiftieth time they'd taken out half of his savings for some random "necessity", after promising that they would stop, should have been a sign they weren't trustworthy. And Ned had tried! Honest. It was just...well...the response when he talked to them about it was always the same.

"Oh, we're sorry, we didn't think you would mind," Mom said, her voice sweet as honey. It made Ned want to smack his head into the side of the phone booth. "After all, you did say you wanted to take care of us, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but -" Ned started.

"Of course! You're a sweetheart, Eddie. So many children these days have not respect for their parents. And after everything they've done for them." 

Sure, right. There was a lot of things Ned considered saying: hey, it's not Eddie anymore, and it hasn't been since I was six. That still doesn't mean you can just steal my money, pretty sure that's illegal. No offense, but I'm pretty sure they're just mad the kids they treated like shit don't want to be around them anymore. 

Instead, he muttered, "Yeah, of course. Just...ask next time."

"Alright," Mom said. Ned almost let out a sign of relief. Then she added, "Of course, I don't remember making you ask when you needed things, but if that's what you want." 

"No...No I'm pretty sure you did," Ned said.

It was petty, but he knew where she was going, and he planned to stop it. 

Mom sighed.

"Is this about the time you broke your arm?"

"Technically it was the time Dad broke my arm, but -"

Ned was going to say but that's not the point, but instantly he realized his mistake. "That time you broke your arm" was the topic Mom brought up every single time she wanted to shut Ned up, because she knew he was going to protest, and she could turn it against him.

"Good God, we've been over this Eddie!" Mom sounded genuinely frustrated. Ned considered if he should hang up before she got started. "Remember what Dr. Ellis said..."

"It's okay to accept your mistakes..." Ned droned with his mom as she finished her sentence. 

Which was weird, because the only reason this disagreement was happening was because they refused to accept their mistakes. As Ned remembered it, his dad had just bumped into him while passing on the stairs and accidentally sent him down it. Not a big deal. Not like he was actively trying to hurt him. Except, apparently, no one else remembered it that way. Dad claimed he'd thrown himself down the stairs over a disagreement, and everyone bought it. Because of course. Ned was a kids and kids were stupid fucking liars. 

It wasn't the only time, if you asked his parents he misremembered 99% of his childhood, but it was the one that got him sent to a psychiatrist for his "pathological lying." Not that it worked. Ned was pretty sure most people would say it was still an issue (Jerry had, after he suggested faking his own death and pretending to be his nephew. Apparently that was "ridiculous" because "everyone knew he didn't have siblings." Jerry was right, but still. It hurt.) 

"Sure. Whatever. Glad to help," Ned muttered. "Hey, I think I'm about the run out of time, so..."

"Alright sweetheart! I'll see you -"

And then Ned hung up.  Mom didn't need to know why the call had cut off. For a moment, Ned wished he'd been able to tell her about his new plan. There was one thing his parents always respected: money. After all, Dad was the one who taught him all the tricks of getting quick cash. And while Ned occasionally suspected he had some illegal methods he didn't tell Ned about, it was probably the only thing they bonded over, and the only thing they were every proud of him for.

Except the conversation was already exhausting, and honestly? A little part of Ned knew why they were always curious about his income. They could benefit from it. And that little part was feeling really, really petty at the moment.  

Two hours later, and Ned had taken his parents off his bank account. Would he probably get a five hour lecture the next time they came for cash? Probably. Did he feel like he was going to throw up? Definitely. Was this for the best? Jerry said so. She didn't even mention how bad an idea the "get people to pay me to remove their powers" plot was when he told her. 

I don't usually write prologues, but I wanted to give an idea of Ned, and I really couldn't get that across with the short description before or a form. Luna and Jerry aren't going to be main character, don't worry, but they're definitely side characters that will show up (Luna especially, since Ned is literally her babysitter and - despite his insistence other wise - very attached to that kid.) 

Also, just in case, what Ned's parents are doing is very much abuse. Just because it's mental and financial (because, yes, while the broke arm was genuinely a mistake, the gaslighting after was not) doesn't make it any less abuse than if they were beating him daily. While the story has an over all light hearted tone, this part is not a joke, and I expect that this and any other serious topics is treated with the respect they deserve in the comments. 

I'm sure most of you are mature enough to understand that, but some people is weird as hell, especially when it comes to fan fiction, and I want to make this clear.