Imma just say this now before everything, the beginning is kinda weird. Mostly because I only knew what I wanted for the middle/end of the story, but had not much thought about the beginning. It gets better though so don't be too concerned- 

In honor of the new series, have some angsty KolxShino (Don't mind me lowkey manifesting)

I'm just gonna say this takes place on a reality after whatever is gonna go on in My Hero Eternity, where Shino and Kol got to together

-Side note, my auto correct is doing this thing were it makes Kol's name in all caps, so if that happens pretend it isn't 🥲-

—~~—

Kol was finishing cleaning up after dinner when Shino came to disturb the peace. 

Shino made soft noises and shuffling sounds as he walked down the hallway. Purposely made to resemble the sound of a mouse, which Kol was extremely afraid of. 

Shino snickered at Kol trying to make noise to scare away the supposed predator. Shino continued making the noises, getting louder as he got closer to Kol. He peaked his head into the doorframe to see Kol hitting a fork against a spoon with a fearful look in his eyes. 

Shino couldn't help but laugh at Kol's bewildered expression. When Kol looked toward the sudden sound of laughter, he saw him, instantly realizing what happened. Kol rolled his eyes and dropped the utensils into the sink. 

"Ha. Ha. Ha. You're soooo funny Shino." Kol said while walking towards the "mouse".

"I know right?" Shino said with pride, still giggling at his little trick. 

"It's late, you're getting delirious, go to bed." Kol rolled his eyes again and started pushing Shino towards their bedroom. 

"Did you forget I'm an insomniac? Me and sleep go together like cereal and spoiled milk." Shino groaned, although not fighting against the pushing. He knew he was tired.

"Yeah yeah, Mr. insomniac, you can torture me all you want in the morning... I shouldn't have said that." Kol instantly sees the errors in his words.

"Oh can I now? See you in the morning Kol! Can't say you'll see me though!" Shino shrugs, smirks, and starts willingly walking to bed. 

As they got into bed, throwing the blanket over themselves, Kol brushed Shino's streak of yellow hair away from his face. 

"I love you." 

The words spilled from Kol's lips effortlessly as he settled for bed. Just as he closed his eyes, he could hear the soft sniffing beside him. His eyes, now open and aware, noticed Shino's pouring tears. 

Kol quickly sat up, pulling Shino with him. 

"Are you ok Shino? Did something happen? Are you hurt?" Kol asks while rubbing Shino's shoulder comfortingly, already worrying that he's done something to mess it all up. Maybe he shouldn't have forced Shino to go to sleep like that? Kol's fears start to show on his face. 

"No.. no.. nothing like that.. I just... I wasn't prepared for that.." Shino forces out in between sobs. 

"Do you want me to make you some tea while we talk?" Kol offers, knowing how much Shino likes tea. 

He would often tease Shino about it, claiming it's his British side kicking in. 

Shino nods softly, reaching for the tissue box on the nightstand. 

Kol gets up, trying not to look robotic, but his thoughts were clouded with worries. 

As Kol got the teabags and mugs, he turned on their kettle. He watched the glass light up, bubbles appearing, signaling that it's boiling. Soon enough it dings and Kol pours the boiling water into their mugs. Peppermint tea for Shino and ginger lemon tea for himself. Kol grabs the two mugs and carefully brings them back to the bedroom. 

Kol placed down Shino's mug on the nightstand and took a sip from his. Shino's mug was a pale yellow with a dashed line circling the cup until coming to a cartoonish bee, the brighter yellow stripes contrasting with the base of the cup. Kol's cup had the NASA logo on on it with various moon stickers on the outside. 

Shino sniffed and blew his nose. Kol could see the used discarded tissues that Shino had previously used. Shino smelt his tea softly before taking a long sip. 

"So... Do you want to talk about it?" Kol asked softly, sitting beside Shino with his cup. 

"It's just... You said 'I love you'... I wasn't expecting that because... I.. Can't... say it back..." Shino said, his finger rubbing the side of his mug. 

Kol looked at Shino, urging him to elaborate. Kol was worried for what would come next, but promised himself to stay composed for Shino's sake. 

"I really, really, really, really like you, Kol, I do... but... I just can't say I love you..." Shino's voice trembled with a mix of vulnerability and anguish. His tear-filled eyes avoided meeting Kol's gaze, as if afraid of what he might see in them. The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, filled with the struggle of his inner turmoil.

"That's perfectly fine, Shino," Kol spoke softly, his voice laced with warmth. "You're not obligated to tell me you love me. I don't want you to feel like you have to. If it's alright with you, I'd like to keep telling you how much I love you, even if you can't say it back."

Kol's words wrapped around Shino like a comforting embrace. They eased the burden of expectations and allowed Shino the space to navigate his own emotions. Shino looked into Kol's eyes, searching for any sign of disappointment or resentment. But instead, he found only love and acceptance. Shino leaned into Kol for a hug. They stayed in their warm embrace for a while. 

Sure, Kol seems content and secure, but inside he's crumbling. 

Does Shino feel this way because of everything that's happened? It's not unreasonable... It's hard to tell someone "I love you" when they tried to kill you on multiple occasions... 

Though their history is rocky, Kol still knows exactly how he feels about Shino.

Kol loves Shino.

But Kol won't force Shino to say or even feel the same way. 

Because someone who loves someone else would never that. 

If Kol could go back in time, he would. He would change everything. He would realize how he felt sooner. Maybe things would've gone differently. Kol wishes he could change the past, but that doesn't mean he won't keep looking to the future.

As Kol coaxed Shino back to sleep, he couldn't help but feel different to how he did yesterday. A new sense of understanding washed over him. He gave Shino a light kiss on the forehead, which Shino smiled softly to, then pulled the string on the lamp, darkness now coating the room as they slept.