All the incorrect quotes because I want to come back to this and laugh one day soon.

IM SO INDECISIVE WITH HOW I WANT TO DO INCORRECT QUOTES OMGGGGG

All of these are my old incorrect quotes btw, so it's your not interested in seeing all of them again just skip this post 👍

Blake: Why don't you open up to people?

Artemis: I'm scared they might judge me

Rikku: I do!

Shino: I don't want people to think im weak for getting into such dumb shit so I suffer in silence.

—~+~—

Kol: Fuck you

Shino: I'd fuck me too

—~+~—

Artemis: Nobody likes me...

Flex: Aww don't say that, what about your parents?

Artemis:

—~+~—

Blake: Why is Shino crying?

Artemis: He looked at the mirror.

Blake: Damn I didn't know he hated his reflection that much...

Artemis: Oh no, he just wanted a different one.

Blake: I'm still confused, a different mirror or a different reflection????

—~+~—

Kol: Don't do drugs kids.

Shino: Practice what you preach dude.

—~+~—

Kol: What would you do if you heard noises in the middle of the night?

Artemis: Ask if anyone is there

Rikku: Hide

Blake: Leave

Flex: Scream

Ana: Get my chainsaw

Iris: Stay as quiet as possible and grab my gun

Collin: Staying as far away from those last two as I can.

Davis: Nothing. I hear noises every night, I've come to terms with it

Shino: Why do you wanna know? So you can predict what's gonna happen when you come to kill me? HA I have a plan for 50 different causes of the noises so you don't get to kill me before I do.

—~+~—

Shino: Awww you guys are such a cute couple.

Blake: We aren't dating.

Jack: Yea we're not together.

Shino:

Blake: Comon babe,

—~+~—

Kol: Have you ever stolen anything before?

Shino: Of course not!

Artemis: Pussy.

—~+~—

Artemis: I'm not saying you should go on a diet, I'm saying you need to go on a diet.

Artemis: Your fat.

*Shino holding back tears smiling*

I don't think this would actually happen it's just for comedic reasons 😭

—~+~—

*Database telling Dorm 8 what not to do on a school trip*

Shino: Counterpoint, how about we do wander off, consider breaking things, and then all that other stuff.

—~+~—

*Avian talking about the musculoskeletal system*

Artemis: Like the mushroom?

Shino: Those are truffles.

Artemis: Like the sprout?

Shino: Those are Brussels.

—~+~—

*Dorm 8 talking about a team name while doing midterms*

Heroes their fighting: WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT!!

Artemis: AND WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION, WHAT DONT YOU GET ABOUT THAT!!!

—~+~—

*Blake teasing Shino*

Shino with a cup of coffee: I will pour this on you, and it will burn.

—~+~—

*Dorm 8 + Blake, jack, and Shizu doing hero training on top of a building*

Artemis: How could you leave meeeeee!!!

Rikku: I saaaid jump-

Jack: He's gonna fall-

Blake: He'll be fine.

Shino: He's falling...

—~+~—

*Someone explaining their polarity quirk*

Artemis: *gasp* You can control poles.

Shino: No you dunce it means they have control over magnesium.

Artemis: Magnets are cool too...

—~+~—

*Artemis caught for taking random pictures of Shino*

Artemis: I'm a normal boy, with normal needs,

Shino: EXCUSE ME??

Artemis whispering while leaving the room: Normal needssss

—~+~—

*Artemis taking Shino to the rooftop*

Shino: Thanks Arty, I know I'm struggling but I'm not that depressed...

Artemis: Oh...I just wanted to have a moment but do you wanna talk?

—~+~—

*Artemis dealing with a rampaging villain*

Artemis turning into hero form: You just destroyed my favorite clothing store...prepare to die.

—~+~—

Kol: I hope someone will just naturally gravitate towards me so I have someone to talk to.

Shino: I hope someone does gravitate towards you.

Shino: A shooter

—~+~—

Shino: What's your biggest fear?

Artemis: When trip slips need parent signature.

—~+~—

—~+~—

Artemis: What's the worst mistake you've made of all time?

Shino: Survived birth.

—~+~—

Shino: Kol told me that a penguin lives in the North Pole and now I'm questioning our friendship.

—~+~—

Blake: You don't need so many copies of the same jacket-

Shino: To bad your opinion is...

*silence*

Shino: Just that. Your opinion. Get outta my face.

—~+~—

Artemis: You do this your way, I'll do it my way, hard work and persistence.

Shino: I'm just gonna guess until I get it right.

—~+~—

Artemis: Hey Shino. I just wanted to stop by to see if you were wondering how I was doing.

—~+~—

Shino making a joke about a robot: I wish I could get my advice from a microwave

Flex: They do that?

—~+~—

Artemis: You like books, I like shoes, let's go look at magazines!!!

Shino: Sounds like a plan?

—~+~—

Shino: This contract is OFFENSIVE. Did I read it? No, because I don't have the time for trash.

—~+~—

Flex: I'm always looking for modeling gigs, look at my headshot,

*showing Artemis an ugly/mediocre photo of himself*

Artemis: There are...no words...

Flex: No Artemis...It's...A...Photo...

—~+~—

*insert rude person talking to Artemis & Shino: I think you should set up that table next, it's the "No parents" table, looks like you'll both be sitting there.

Shino: Aw...how sad. Looks like you'll be sitting there too! Wanna tell me where your parents live by any chance?

—~+~—

Kol: We only have 17 packs of...6.2 grams of sugar! So really we have-

Shino: 105.4 grams of sugar.

Kol: I was gonna say not enough sugar for a cake...

—~+~—

Shino: I did some calculations and it seems you'll need 12 ounces of H2O and 32 grams of complex carbohydrates!

Flex: Don't you guys this it's cool when he makes up words?

—~+~—

Rikku: Au contraire mon frère Artemis.

Rikku: It means you don't know what your talking about in some other language.

Artemis: French, and no it doesn't!

—~+~—

Blake: I just failed my math test...

Shino: It's not that big a deal, don't worry.

Blake: Oh shut up Shino, if it were you, you'd be freaking out too!

Shino: Actually if it were me, the teacher would've made a grading mistake.

Artemis coving Shino's mouth: Eh! Not helping.

Shino: If your so worried why don't your schedule for a make-up test?

Artemis & Blake: You can do that?

Shino: Yeah? Didn't you read the Monarch Academy hand book?

—~+~—

Kol: I want new Pokémon cards.

Shino: I wanna die.

Kol: Oh...Oh ok...that's where we're going...

—~+~—

Shino: If you've heard anything bad about me, believe all that shit and leave me the fuck alone

—~+~—

Kol: I'm pretty sure my last words will be: Well shit that didn't work,

—~+~—

Shino: Fuck the patriarchy! I hate living!

Artemis: That's not patriarchy, that's affection!?

Ok but anyone in L.O.V.E then someone they care about-

—~+~—

Kol: It's only a crime if you get caught.

Shino: That is literally incorrect.

Kol: I only talk to you if I'm bored.

—~+~—

Artemis attempting to flirt with Shino: Save water, shower with me.

Shino: Save your breath, I'm worried about you since you look mine away so easily.

—~+~—

Rikku: I just burned my tongue on a fresh mozzarella and I think it is a perfect metaphor for the statement, even the things you love will hurt you.

—~+~—

Artemis sticking his finger with a needle: Ah, fuck...

Shino: Is anything in this world pure anymore?????

—~+~—

Artemis trying to understand Shino's fashion choices: When it comes to clothes, we have so many beautiful drapes, yet you choose a shower curtain.

—~+~—

Flex: When does a joke become a dad joke?

Flex: When it becomes apparent.

—~+~—

Shino: I would never say my partner is a bitch and I don't like them. That's not true.

Shino: My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

—~+~—

Kol: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you, or you really annoy me and I can't handle your shit.

Kol: Have fun figuring out which one.

—~+~—

Shino: Pro's and cons of dating me.

Shino: Pro's. You'll be the cute one.

Shino: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin.

—~+~—

Artemis: It's not ugly, it's just aesthetically challenged.

—~+~—

Flex: Don't joke about murder.

Flex: I was murdered once and it offends me.

—~+~—

Rikku: All of a sudden I got a random burst of energy.

Rikku: I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

—~+~—

Shizu: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just gonna lay down and accept my fate.

—~+~—

Shino: Sometimes I get so caught up in being gay that I forget I'm actually bi.

—~+~—

Kiyo: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will malfunction.

—~+~—

Artemis: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

—~+~—

Flex: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

—~+~—

Shino: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expected it to glow in the dark.

—~+~—

Shizu: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter, I'm still amazing.

—~+~—

*Flex takes a sip of milk and gags*

Flex: Oh my god, is this expired!?

*takes another sip of milk*

—~+~—

Kol: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?"

—~+~—

Flex: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

—~+~—

Shino: I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me first.

—~+~—

Shino: Do not come over to my house.

Shino: If the house is on fire you may knock once, if I don't answer, assume I set the fire and I want to burn to death.

—~+~—

Shino: What do you call disobeying the law?

Artemis & Rikku: A hobby.

Shino: *crosses their arms*

Artemis & Rikku: One we do not engage in.

—~+~—

Shino: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

—~+~—

Artemis: Could you maybe just like...Stab me...right in the gut...just REALLY twist it in there. 'Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

—~+—

Flex: I'm not a morning person

Flex: I'm barely even a person!

—~+~—

Artemis: I hate taking off my glasses because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

—~+~—

Shino introducing himself: I came into this Earth screaming and covered In someone else's blood and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

—~+~—

Shino: I'm a bad person, I'm a very bad person, I'm a horrible person.

L.O.V.E:

Shino: No you're not, Shino! We still love you Shino!

—~+~—

Kol: I do two things, and two things only.

Kol: I devastate sorry motherfuckers, and get shit done as an awesome leader.

—~+~—

Shino: You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.

—~+~—

Flex: Quitting! It's like trying but easier.

—~+~—

Shino: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

—~+~—

Shino: I keep a picture of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

L.O.V.E: Awwwe-

Shino: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

L.O.V.E: Oh.

—~+~—

Kol: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens,

—~+~—

*Flex turning into Artemis*

Artemis: Okay, are you like BLIND?! You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag a comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

—~+~—

Shino to L.O.V.E: And remember if I get harsh with you it is only because you're doing it all wrong.

—~+~—

Artemis: I'm hot, I'm tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

—~+~—

Shino: I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it.

Shino: A slender majority of the panel decided in my favor.

—~+~—

Flex: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Flex: Me too!

—~+~—

Shino to Artemis: *powers up gun* Go to bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a threat.

—~+~—

Artemis writing a letter to his parents: Remember when we played hide and seek that one time? Because I don't. I just remember waking up and you were gone.

—~+~—

Kol: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a "I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences kinda way"

—~+~—

Shino: Sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing voices.

Shino: Then I remember it's my last bit of sanity trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

—~+~—

Shino: Okay, I'm going to get the wedding cake.

Artemis: Perfect, while you do that I'll check on the ring bear.

Shino:

Shino: You mean the ring bearER, right?

Artemis:

Shino: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

—~+~—

Shino: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Artemis: Wow. They sound stupid.

Shino: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.

Artemis: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... Hey! I love you!

Shino: I guess you're right. Hey Artemis, I love you.

Artemis: See! Just say that!

Shino In His Head: Holy fucking shit.

Artemis: If that flies over their head then, sorry Shino, but they're too dumb for you.

Shino: Artemis.

—~+~—

Artemis: Regular soda is too sweet!

Shino: Diet soda has a weird after taste!

Artemis: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY!

Shino: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda!

Artemis: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink!

Shino: I'm going to physically attack you.

Artemis: Which is better, Rikku?

Rikku: Oh, I usually drink water!

Shino: Wha- NO!

Artemis: DISGUSTING!

—~+~—

Artemis: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Rikku: I really care about your feelings!

Shizu: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Artemis, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Kol: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Shino: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

—~+~—

Kol: I'm a reverse necromancer!

Flex: Isn't that just-

Shino: No. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You are literally so fucking unfunny that it hurts. It physically hurts my body knowing that people still think murder is funny. I cant believe im saying this but do you guys know how chronically online you all are, thinking that saying "oOh iM a rEVeRsE nECrOmANcER i LOvE tO kiLL pEOpLe" is genuinely funny and will get everyone in the room shitting themselves from laughter?? cause its not. It's fucking not. In fact, it's the unfunniest fucking joke ever. Not just any joke about killing people. This one specifically. It's so unfunny and stupid. Nobody is fucking laughing at that, Kol. It makes you look like a greasy emo kid who has never been outside once in their life and uses tumblr religiously. Like not even the funny side of tumblr. the fucking unfunny side filled with overused jokes about murder and illegal acts. Honestly, you're so unfunny, Kol. Fuck you.

—~+~—

Shino: I never tell people off the bat that I'm bi. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm bi right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Kol:

Kol: I like you.

—~+~—

Shino: You disgust me.

Kol: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don't care.

—~+~—

Rikku, holding a scooter: Shino! Can I go outside and play with this?

Shino: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?

Rikku, running outside: Thanks Shino!

Shino, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

—~+~—

Shizu: So, are they your friend or...

Rikku: They're like Artemis, but if Artemis was ordered to be around you.

Shizu: Oh, so Shino.

Rikku: Precisely!

—~+~—

Kol: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Shino: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Kol: Yes.

Shino: I'd sleep.

—~+~—

Kol: *texting* Wyd?

Shino: Eating cereal.

Kol: Wanna hang out?

Shino: Depends, can I bring the cereal?

—~+~—

Artemis: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?

Shino: I feel like we've all done that at least once.

Rikku: I ate it too-

Shino: See?

Rikku: -On purpose...

Artemis & Shino: ...What?

—~+~—

Rikku, texting Shino: Any plans for tonight?

Shino: No.

Rikku: Loser.

—~+~—

Shino: I hate you sometimes.

Shizu: Well according to this picture Flex drew of us holding hands that's not true.

Shino: Shizu, you drew that.

Shizu: It doesn't matter.

—~+~—

Artemis: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything?

Shino: I had a lizard that I burnt.

—~+~—

Shino: Hey, what's the name of the guy who lives down the hall?

Flex: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.

Shino: That's not what I asked.

Flex: That is all the information I have.

—~+~—

‼️⚠️NSFW/Dirty jokes and cussing ahead⚠️‼️

—~+~—

Shino: This food is too hot... I can't eat it.

Artemis: You're very hot, and I still eat you.

Rikku: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

—~+~—

Shinzo Asking For Artemis' Opinion On Silk Pajamas: How does this look?

Artemis: Like it slips on and off really easily.

Shino:

Artemis: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Rikku: We know what you meant.

—~+~—

Flex: sapnu puaS

Kol: What??

Shino: What language is that?

Flex: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Shino removed Flex from this groupchat*

—~+~—

Shino: I like your new pants!

Artemis: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Shino: I'd like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Artemis: The store can't just give away clothes for free.

Shino: Thats's... not what I meant.

Artemis: That's a terrible way to run a business, Shino.

—~+~—

Shino: Dude-

Artemis: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Artemis: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me dude??

—~+~—

Shino: Hey, I'm getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Artemis:...Have you never taken a shower before?

—~+~—

Shino: Know why I called you in here?

Artemis: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Shino *Stops Pouring Two Glasses Of Wine*: Accidentally?

—~+~—

Shino: When are we gonna fuck?

Artemis: What?

Shino: Oh sorry autocorrect. When are we gonna hang out?

Artemis: First of all those words aren't even close to each other. And second of all, this is a verbal conversation.

—~+~—

Shino, pointing: May I sit there?

Artemis: That's my lap

Shino: That doesn't answer my question, Artemis.

—~+~—

Shino: I put the pun in punishment.

Rikku: I put the cute in execute.

Shizu: I put the ass in class.

Umbra: I put the D in Shino.

Shino: ...What have I started...

—~+~—

Artemis: What's sexting?

Shino: I'm not having this conversation with you.

—~+~—

Shino: What are you in the mood for?

Umbra: World domination.

Shino: That's a bit ambitious.

Umbra: You are my world.

Shino: Aww...

Umbra:

Shino:

Umbra:

Shino: OH.

—~+~—

‼️⚠️End of NSFW incorrect quotes‼️⚠️

—~+~—

Shino: I have trained myself to never flinch.

Kol: Oh really?

Kol: *attempts to startle Shino*

Shino: *backhands*

Shino: I never said nobody would get hurt though.

—~+~—

Rikku: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Kol...

Shizu: As you should be.

Rikku: No, for real, they're kind of-

Shizu: As. You. Should. Be.

—~+~—

Artemis: *nudges Shino at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Shino? Wake up, Shino! Listen! They're sexless!

Shino: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

—~+~—

Shino: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Artemis: Yes.

Shino: I love you.

Artemis: It back.

*Later*

Rikku to Artemis: Why is Shino crying face-down on the floor?

—~+~—

Aries: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Aurora: >:O language

Ana: Yeah watch your fucking language

Flex: Okay, who taught Ana the fuck word?!

Kol: 'The fuck word'.

Shino: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Aries: Oh my god they censored it

Kol: Say fuck, Shino.

Aries: Do it, Shino. Say fuck.

—~+~—

Rikku: What's the worst thing you guys have done?

Artemis: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.

Kol: I kicked Blake in the shin-

Blake: -So I kicked Kol between the legs.

Shino: I burned a town down.

Rikku: What?!

Blake: What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Shino: A lot of things.

Kol: No shit.

—~+~—

Rikku: You're just being paranoid. Again.

Shizu: When have I been paranoid?

Rikku: Um, when you first met Kol you thought he was an undercover cop...?

Shizu: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera!

Rikku: And last year you were sure Artemis was a mermaid!

Shizu: He hates wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?!

*Later, when Shizu 's theory is proven wrong*

Rikku: Do you have anything to say for yourself?

Shizu: I still think Artemis is a mermaid.

—~+~—

*Artemis and Shino texting*

Artemis: Please bring back PURIFIED water. NO minerals added. NONE!

Shino: I got spring water.

Artemis: NO!

Shino: With EXTRA minerals.

Shino: Its like licking stalagmite.

Artemis: DONT COME HOME!

Shino: Mmmmmm cave water.

—~+~—

Artemis: I know we're not exactly friends, but-

Kiyo: What do you want?

Artemis: I've been stuck with Shino for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.

Artemis: Help.

—~+~—

Artemis, at Shino's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*

Artemis, leaning over Shino's coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead.

Shino, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.

—~+~—

*L.O.V.E is playing a board game together*

Kol: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Ana: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Flex: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Shino: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Flex: *flips the board*

—~+~—

Shino: We're getting married, bitches!

Artemis: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

—~+~—

Shino: Artemis's amazing at concentrating. Once he starts designing, the only way he'll notice you is if you take his pencil away. Not even if you hit them or shake them!

Kol: That was him ignoring you.

—~+~—

Shino: I love hearing Artemis shouting at someone else.

Shino: It makes such a nice change.

—~+~—

Rikku: Today at 7 am, Shino poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Artemis: I watched Shino brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm.

Iris: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

—~+~—

Shino: Your existences are weird.

L.O.V.E: Why?

Shino: Your presence in annoying but I'd hate myself if anything ever happened to you.

—~+~—

Artemis: Where are you going?

Shino: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Artemis: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Rikku, knowing full well that Artemis got Shino an engagement ring: *eating popcorn* 

—~+~—

Shino: Die.

Artemis: Please don't die!

Shino: DIE!

Artemis: PLEASE DON'T DIE!

Shizu, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?

Rikku, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Artemis wants Shino to accept it as their kid.

—~+~—

Artemis: Someone's trying to break in. Call the cops!

Shino: *loads shotgun* I got this.

Artemis: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

—~+~—

Kol: I can't believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they're all just posers.

Shino: Kol, for the last time, we're at a funeral.

—~+~—

Artemis, holding a rock: Shino just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".

Shizu: If you don't marry them, I will.

—~+~—

Shizu: What are you getting Shino for the holidays?

Artemis: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Rikku: I'm getting Shino a divorce lawyer.

—~+~—

Flex: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.

Shino: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

Flex: Th-that's not how that works-

—~+~—

Shino: I never said I was gonna be his best friend again. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?

Rikku: No. No, Shino, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: Shizu gets eaten by a shark. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Shino calls Kol.

Shizu: I'm Shizu, and I approve the order of that list.

—~+~—

*The Squad is playing Chess*

Shino: *easily beats everyone because they know how to play*

Kol: *doesn't know the rules, but wins anyway*

Rikku: *doesn't know the rules, and loses*

Flex: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don't*

Shizu: Actually, you can't do that, because I said so.

Artemis: They named a board game after cheese?

—~+~—

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Shino: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Artemis: ...I did. I broke it.

Shino: No. No you didn't. Flex?

Flex: Don't look at me. Look at Kol.

Kol: What?! I didn't break it.

Flex: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Kol: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Flex: Suspicious.

Kol: No, it's not!

Rikku: If it matters, probably not, but Shizu was the last one to use it.

Shizu: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Rikku: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Shizu: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rikku!

Artemis: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Shino.

Shino: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Rikku: Shino... Flex's been awfully quiet.

Flex: REALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Shino, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Shino: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Shino:

Shino: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

—~+~—

*The Squad is playing Minecraft together*

Rikku: Ooh, a village! You know what that means!

Flex: Hostile takeover?

Shino: Genocide?

Kol: Steal everything!

Rikku: No, I meant-

Shizu: I didn't know we would fight the ender dragon this early! A village worth of beds isn't enough!

Artemis: WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING?!?!

Rikku:...I was going to say move into the village and become the mayors...

Artemis: Ohhhh! That sounds like a better idea.

Shizu: Agreed.

Shino: ...Genocide...

—~+~—

*Chibi Coven the day after the incident*

Shino: Is it still visible? Where Flex slapped me?

Rikku: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.

Iris: A palm reader could tell Flex's future by looking at your face.

Shizu: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.

Shino: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

—~+~—

Shino making a flirtatious joke: I'm staring at you so I don't have to look at all the ugliness everywhere else.

Artemis, offended: So I was the second choice???

—~+~—

Flex: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything Shino does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Kol: If Shino were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Shino jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Flex: You jump off a cliff!

Kol: Gladly, provided Shino did first.

—~+~—

Shizu: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Shino?

Shino: No.

Rikku: I do!

Shizu: I know, Rikku.

Rikku: I'm sad.

Shizu: I know, Rikku.

—~+~—

Shino: Good. Thanks, dad.

Kol: You just called Database "dad". You just said "thanks, dad."

Shino, offended: What? No, I didn't. I said "thanks, man".

Database: Do you see me as a father figure, Shino?

Shino: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure 'cause you're always bothering me.

Flex: Hey! Show your father some respect!

—~+~—

Shino: How would you like your coffee?

Rikku: As dark and as bitter as my soul.

Shino, getting materials: One vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar coming up!

—~+~—

Shizu: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do.

Kol: I'm gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Flex: I'm with you there...

Shino: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Artemis: Three types of people.

—~+~—

—~For this first one let's just say it happened before the birthday thing- ok? Ok.~—

Shino: I'm having problems with a guy...

Rikku : Like his dead body won't fit into your trunk kind of problems, or you like him kind of problems?

—~+~—

Flex: I have a 1:30 appointment.

Shino: Which doctor?

Flex: No, I want the regular doctor.

—~+~—

Artemis: Mint is just cold spicy.

Anyone in the room: ...

Shizu: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

—~+~—

*Shino is casually searching around the room*

Kol: Hey Shino, what're you looking for?

Shino: My will to live.

*Artemis walks into the room*

Shino: Oh, there it is.

—~+~—

Kol: Who wants to go out of the country on a road trip?

Aries: Yea, I could drink legally!

Flex: I could hang out with the boys!

Kiyo out loud, Shino in his head: I could hide from the consequences of my actions.

—~+~—

Flex: Ugh, there's always that weak bitch in the group who isn't down with murder.

Flex: *glares at Shino*

Shino: Well, sorry I have morals!

—~+~—

Aries: Shino gave me a get better soon card.

Aurora: That's sweet!

Aries: I wasn't sick, he just thinks I can do better.

—~+~—

Rikku: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Shino's birthday invitations.

Shizu: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Rikku: "Shino's birthday".

Shizu: So, what do they say instead?

Rikku: "Shino's bi".

Shizu:

Shizu: Works out either way.

—~+~—

Kol: Sweet dog you got there.

Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.

Kol: Still training huh?

Police: What do you mean?

Kol:

Kol: Never mind.

—~+~—

Shino: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Shino: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

—~+~—

Flex: Kol's refusing to wear his glasses!

Kol: Ana, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Kol: *points to Aurora* Aurora.

Kol: *points to Flex* Flex.

Kol: *points to Shino* rodent.

—~+~—

*L.O.V.E is on the bus, and a child is crying*

Kol: *rolls eyes to the sky*

Aurora: *makes funny faces to get them to stop*

Shino: *puts noise canceling headphones on*

Aries: *doesn't mind, doesn't bother*

Flex: *is the reason they're crying*

Kiyo: *enjoys in silence*

Colin: *watches in silence*

—~+~—

*Shino visiting Artemis in Paris.*

Shino: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Artemis: But...

Shino: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Artemis: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Shino: Yeah.

Artemis: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us babe...

Shino: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Artemis: Okay.

Artemis: alright.

—~+~—

Kiyo: Yeah, I don't like people.

Flex: Oh, well now that's not fair Kiyo. Have you met all of them?

Kiyo, Kol nodding behind him: I've met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

—~+~—

Flex: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?

Colin: Don't ever speak to me again.

—~+~—

Flex: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food!

Aries: You can eat a rock.

Aurora: Air.

Kol: The fabric of time and space.

Shino: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems.

Flex: You guys are not helpful.

—~+~—

Rikku: Would you slap Shino-

Kol: Yes.

Rikku: I didn't even finish!

Kol: Sorry, continue.

Rikku: Would you slap Shino for 10 dollars?

Kol: I would do it for free.

Shino: Rude...

—~+~—

Shizu: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

Flex: Eyy, homie!

Rikku: But then there's cootie...

Shino: Die.

—~+~—

Rikku & Artemis in the back of Shino's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!

Shino: We have food at home.

Shino: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*

Rikku & Artemis: YAYYYYYY!

Shino: *orders one coffee and leaves*

—~+~—

Rikku: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.

Shizu: Hot dog costumes!

Artemis: I'm sorry, what?

Rikku: What???

Shizu: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Shino, goes mad with hunger, we'll put these on. Shino hates hot dogs, so they probably won't eat us.

Artemis: Are you saying that Shino would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Shino: I do hate hot dogs.

—~+~—

*at a zoo*

Rikku: What are they in for?

Shino: Rikku, this isn't prison.

Rikku: So they can leave?

Shino: No, but-

Rikku, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

—~+~—

Flex: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?

Shino: ICARUS?!?

—~+~—

Shino: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*

Shizu: *standing on the roof* Bless you.

Shino: God?! Forgive me for my sins-

—~+~—

Shino: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Artemis: ...

Shino: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?

Artemis: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

—~+~—

*Artemis sneezes*

Shino: Artemis, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*Literally anyone else sneezes*

Shino: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

—~+~—

Flex, being dramatic after playing a board game: Well, first of all, I'd like to thank Shino, the love of my life, for telling me Kol was going to win so don't bother to prepare a speech.

—~+~—

Shizu: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Rikku periodically send me texts saying 'we need to talk.'

Shizu: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

—~+~—

*Shizu is cleaning the house and they find an empty bottle of orange juice*

Shizu: Clear orange juice?

Shizu: Oh, it's empty.

Rikku, who has been watching the entire time: I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot. I live with an idiot.

—~+~—

Artemis: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener.

Shino: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir's room because they are in love with them.

Rikku: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night.

Kol: Oh, to be the gardener's best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other.

Shizu: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending.

Flex: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir's personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

—~+~—

Rikku: I love you.

Shizu: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.

*Rikku and Shizu kiss passionately*

Artemis, to Shino: You owe me 20 dollars.

—~+~—

Shino: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Shino: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Artemis: I did...

Shino: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Artemis.

*walking away*

Artemis:

Artemis: He's gone Rikku.

Rikku, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in her mouth: Twankh uh!

—~+~—

Artemis: Helpful grammar tip: "farther" is for physical distance, "further" is for methaphorical distance, and "father" is for emotional distance!

—~+~—

Kol: I'm going to get myself some soup.

Shino: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.

Kol: Pfft, I won't burn myself.

*30 seconds later*

Kol, entering the room: I burned myself.

—~+~—

Shino: I CAN'T DO IT!

Rikku, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Shino: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Artemis: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Shino:

Shino: I appreciate it,

Shino: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Clover: Shino-

Shino: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Clover: Shino we gotta-

Shino: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Shino: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Shino, motioning to Shizu: NOT FUCKING THIS!

—~+~—

Flex, gesturing to Shino: Kol, look what you did! You made Mom upset!

Ana: Mom, please don't cry, we're sorry!

Kol, sarcastic: I'm sorry Mom... :(

Shino, near tears: I DON'T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

—~@wowowowowoowwoow, your headcannon.~—

Shino: *watching the microwave spark into flames*

Shino:

Shino: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot spoons are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

—~+~—

Artemis: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner.

Shino: Artemis, It's 1:15 am, what the fuck.

Artemis: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not.

Shino: Well, I mean yeah.

Artemis: So come upstairs while they're still hot.

Shino: Wait, you just made them?

Artemis: Yeah, I wasn't tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets.

Shino: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Artemis.

—~+~—

*Shino teaching Flex to drive and taking Kol along for the ride*

Shino: That's a pothole. To the left!

Flex: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Kol, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Flex: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Shino, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Flex: Country Roads.

Kol: To the place.

Flex and Kol in unison: I Belong!

Shino, crying harder: What the fuck?

—~+~—

Clover: So, what's it like living with Rikku?

Artemis: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Clover: ...

Shizu: I love her so much.

—~+~—

Kol, watching Rikku & Shino panic: What's going on?

Artemis: Rikku is having a crisis and Shino is just having a panic attack.

Artemis: Oh shit I should probably do something-

—~+~—

Flex: I told Shino that their ears turn red when they lie.

Kol: Do they?

Flex: No.

Kol: Then why did you tell them that?

Flex: Because I can do this.

Flex: Hey Shino! Do you love us?

Shino, covering his ears: No.

*Kol & Flex smile at eachother*

—~+~—

Store Worker: Would a "Shino" please come to the front desk?

Shino, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Artemis and Rikku: I believe they belong to you?

Artemis & Rikku, simultaneously: We got lost.

Shino: I didn't even bring you guys here with me—

—~+~—

Shino: HYDRATE, DON'T DIE-DRATE!

Shino: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Kol: Uh... what's up with them?

Rikku: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Shino: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Artemis, crying: It's working.

—~+~—

Rikku: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: 'I am very proud of you. Love, Shino'*

Artemis: Oh yeah. I didn't think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: 'Don't blow anything up. For the love of god, I beg of you, don't blow anything up.'*

—~+~—

*Shino is talking about their past*

Shino: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow.

Shizu: Shino, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard! And you haven't even covered the teen years!

Rikku: Oh, I'm sure it gets better!

Shino: Ha! No, at seven, things really took a turn for the worst.

—~+~—

Shino, staring lovingly at Umbra: I would die for you.

Umbra, doing their own thing: Then perish.

—~+~—

Shino: I can't believe you've done this.....

Artemis: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Shino, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

—~+~—

Insert person: I couldn't do this without you, Artemis.

Artemis: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

—~+~—

Computer: Please enter a password.

Shino: *types in Artemis*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Shino: How fucking DARE YOU-

—~+~—

Kol: Why do you act like we're three year olds?

Shino, exasperated: WHY?!?

Shino points at Kol: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Shino points at Aries: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Shino points at Flex: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Shino: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

—~+~—

Flex: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!

Flex: First who would you kill?

*Aries points at Shino*

*Kol points at Shino*

*Kiyo points at Shino*

Shino, pointing at himself: It's fine, I would kill me too.

—~+~—

Artemis: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Shizu: Cannibalism.

Artemis: *confused chewing noises*

—~+~—

Shino, texting L.O.V.E's group chat at 4:20 AM: Strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.

Kol: Go the fuck to sleep Shino.

—~+~—

Flex: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'"! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Kol: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity. 

—~+~—

Shino: Hey, Jack, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?

Jack: Yeah.

Shino: And you, Blake?

Blake: Umm... yes?

Shino: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Jack: Did he just-

—~+~—

Flex: Do you cook?

Kol: I made a cake once.

Shino: Yeah, it was good.

Kol: Really?

Shino: Don't make me lie twice, Kol.

—~+~—

Shino: Ana, I know you love Flex. I mean, we all do, they're a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Shino: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

Kol: Don't talk about Flex like that! He's just special.

—~+~—

Artemis: *pulls back the curtain while Shino is showering*

Artemis: Hey did we, stop screaming it's me, did we run out of Cheerios?

Shino: First of all no, they're in the cupboard. Second of all, GET THE FUCK OUT!

—~+~—

Flex: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?

Shino: Hey, that's mine! *tries to grab it*

Flex: Aww, it's a love note for Kol?

Shino: No-

Shino: That's literally so unrelated to Kol, I have no clue why'd you even think that-

Flex: *opens it*

Flex:

Shino:

Flex: Some constructive criticism,

Flex: Make it a little less sad and depressing and add some more romance to really win him over!

Shino: Flex, that's a note to my therapist.

—~+~—

Flex: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Kol: Please, just say fuck.

*Shino wheezing in the back*

—~+~—

Artemis: Babe!

Shino: Yes, love?

Artemis: Not you bitch.

Artemis: I was talking about my pet fish...

Shino:

Shino: So I'm the side hoe????

—~+~—

Shino: You know, people treat me like a god.

Clover: How?

Shino: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

—~+~—

Artemis, breaks the silence while chilling with Shino: Shortie.

Shino: What?

Shino: I'm not even short, YOU'RE just really tall???

Artemis: And I'm better than you,

Artemis: Your point?

—~Just a double whammy on Shino's height even though he's not even short, like at all-~—

Shino, dramaticlly: When I was your age-

Artemis, mocking Shino: When I was your height.

Shino:

Shino: Listen here you little shit-

—~+~—

Shino: Did you really eat my fucking Rice Krispie Treats?

Kol: I created you, made the pieces perfect, others marveled at your beauty... their gazes may have held envy, though, for none are perfect but you. I was only looking away for a moment, but you were gone. I had failed you. And I fell into despair. The only way to save myself was to create, but I knew... this time I knew I was only making you to die. And I apologize. For I will undoubtedly fail you again. For a short time, there will be peace and beauty, but none in the face of us shall lay undisturbed. The greatest have fallen, and will continue to fall, and I weep for you for being born unto this place, where brother eats brother, and the undeserving rise to fame. Those that have gone against you know they've wronged you, and they will stand before the creator, knowing they have sinned. Do not worry, little ones, you will be avenged.

Shino: ... I wasn't actually mad... I'll just get some more Rice Krispies...

Shino, to Kol: Hey, who even is the creator? I thought you were an atheist!

Kol: SHUT THE HELL UP, SHINO! I'M TRYING TO BE DRAMATIC AND MYSTERIOUS!

—~+~—

Rikku: Artemis and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Artemis: We what?

—~+~—

Rikku: Awww, why don't you like cats, Iris? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love??

Iris: I don't know Rikku, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor.

Rikku:

Iris: I'm ALLERGIC.

—~+~—

Shino: My life could be a movie.

Artemis: What genre?

Shino: Horror because I think some parts of my life would scare others. Action, cuz I'm a cool bitch. Comedy, because I'm funny as hell, and my life is a joke. Disaster, because I have some serious trauma...

Artemis: Sometimes I forget you had a life before meeting me... Need help?

—~+~—

Rose: You remind me of the ocean.

Shino: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Rose: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

—~+~—

Rikku: Good morning.

Artemis: Good morning.

Kol: Good morning.

Flex: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Shino, after staying up all night: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

—~+~—

Artemis: You're bleeding out! What's your blood type!

Shino: AB positive, but it's not even that bad, I don't need- (His actual blood type is just AB, but for the sake of the meme-)

Artemis: First of all, stop trying to make me feel better! Second, that's not even a proper sentence! "A be positive." ??? SEE, THE BLOOD LOSS IS GETTING TO YOUR HEAD!

Shino, staring at their pricked finger:

Shino, looking back at Artemis: Just get me a band-aid please and don't speak to me for the next 30 minutes...

—~+~—

Rikku, trying to educate people of the ways of the witch: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.

Kol: Sacrifice? I nominate Shino.

Shino: Wait, what?

Kol: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.

Shino: I'm 6'0, it's an above average height???

Rikku: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys!

—~+~—

Shino: I don't think the therapist is supposed to say 'wow' that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

—~+~—

Kol: Shino, fuck off.

Kol: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off then get your ass right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

—~+~—

Rikku, trying her first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Artemis, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds. 

—~+~—

Interviewer: What do you guys do when you're stressed?

Rikku: Try and calm myself down!

Kol: Sleep.

Shizu: Try not to think about it?

Artemis: Break down...

Flex: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out.

Shino: I don't.

—~+~—

Kol: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Scorpio and not symptoms of mental illness.

Shino: Being a Scorpio is a mental illness. That's not hate it's just a fact.

—~+~—

Shino: I have a problem.

Kol: Kill it.

Shino: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

—~+~—

Kol, walking into Shino's bedroom while he and Artemis are hanging out in the middle of the night: I had a bad dream.

Artemis: What was it about?

Shino: No, don't ask him that!

Artemis: Why not?

Shino: Cause he'll answer!

—~+~—

Flex: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Flex: One... two... three.

Kol: ...

Flex: ...

Flex: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

—~+~—

Kol: Shino taught me to think before I act.

Kol: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

—~+~—

Artemis: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!!

Shino: Artemis-

Shino: It- it was just an ant-

—~+~—

Jack: Made you all playlists!

Jack: Rikku, yours has a bunch of nightcore covers of popular songs cuz that seems like your vibe.

Jack: Artemis, yours is a mix of pop and R&B with some cool indie songs mixed in because I know you.

Jack: And Shino has a bunch of k-pop songs because someone told me it's his thing.

Shino, counting by threes to calm his frustrations:

—~+~—

Shizu: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Rikku: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

—~+~—

Kol: Present your best argument for eating bacon.

Flex: If animals don't want to be eaten, then why are they made of food?

—~+~—

Rikku: Do you love Artemis?

Shino: Yeah, I do.

Rikku: Shizu! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Shizu: We all love Artemis. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.

Shino: I thought that was implied.

Shizu: ...

Rikku: ...

Shino, looking straight at Shizu: Congrats Rikku, you just won 100 bucks.

—~+~—

Rikku: Help! I'm drowning!

Shino: Calm down. We're only in six feet of water!

Artemis: Just lift your head up.

Rikku: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!