I'm just gonna use this as some comic relief after I put ya'll through so much angst so uhm

Sorry not sorry?

Enjoy

—~+~—

Artemis: Flex, is that legal?

Flex: When there's no cops around, anything's legal! 

—~+~—

Shino: If you make me come in a dress, I'll come in a wedding dress, so that I'm prepared to efficiently, effectively, and effortlessly steal your man before you even walk down the aisle. 

—~+~—

Flex: Kol is a perfect cinnamon scone who's never done anything wrong in his entire life!

Aurora: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE! 

—~+~—

Shino: Hey, Database, I'm starting a new club called "C.H.A.O.S."! 

Database: Oh, really? What does it stand for?

Shino: "Confused Heroes Acting Out Senselessly"! Care to join? 

Database, holding out a ticket: That was not funny and you know that. 

—~+~—

Shizu: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.

Shizu: I need my socks. 

—~+~—

Kol: Who would you kill out of all of us, Flex?

Flex: Aries, easily.

Aries, laughing: What the fuck, man.

Flex: Well, Shino would be too easy. They'd probably be into it.

Shino, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!? 

—~+~—

Avian: Anyone d-

Shino: Depressed?

Artemis: Drained?

Flex: Dumb?

Kol: Disliked?

Avian: -done with their assignment... 

Avian: ...what is wrong with you people...

—~+~—

Shino: Hey, Kol. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Kol: To get to the other side?

Flex: You were supposed to say "I dunno, why?"

Kol: Uh... fine. I don't know. Why did it cross the road?

Flex: To get to the idiot's house.

Kol: ...Ok?

Shino: Hey, Kol. Knock knock.

Kol: No.

Shino: You were supposed to say "who's there?"

Kol: Fine... let's get this over with. Who's there?

Shino: The chicken.

Kol:

Shino:

Flex:

Kol: Listen here you little shits- 

—~+~—

Flex: And what do I get out of this?

Rikku: I will give you a dollar.

Flex: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Rikku: How bout two dollars?

Flex: You got yourself a deal. 

—~+~—

Rikku, getting information for the fanclub: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Artemis: We're chopsticks!

Rikku: Well... that's cute!

Rikku: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Shino: No, it means that if you take one away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing. 

—~+~—

Rikku: So, what's Shizu's type?

Artemis: Blue eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humor, witchy? 

Rikku, disappointed: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we're just friends.

Artemis: Did I mention oblivious?

Rikku: Yeah, why?

Artemis: Okay, just making sure. 

—~+~—

Shino: Rikku is so...

Flex: Weird?

Kol: Annoying?

Artemis: Adorable?

Shizu: Cute?

Shino: I don't know, maybe if y'all let me FINISH for ONCE IN MY LIFE, I'd tell you! 

—~2 Sneaky ShinoxKol incorrect quotes~—

Kol: If you want my advice-

Flex: No offense but you're the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. 

Flex: Multiple times.

Kol: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they've also tried to kill me.

Shino: It's true. It was mutually attempted murder. 

—~+~—

Kol: *angrily presses Shino against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

Shino: ...

Shino: Are we about to kiss- 

Kol: I mean...

Kol: If that's what you're into why not-?

—~+~—

Kol: When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Shizu: Make lemonade!

Kol: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with it's own shit. 

—~+~—

Flex: Hey Shino, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Flex: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Shino: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Shino: The fucking satisfaction. 

—~+~—

Rikku: Shizu, do you love me?

Shizu: Of course I do!

Rikku: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Shizu: Well, of course I... would...

Rikku: I mean something really, really—

Shizu: Rikku, what did you do? 

—~+~—

Kol: I'm not so sure you're stakeout material.

Shino: I'm a chronic insomniac, I was born for this. 

—~+~—

Artemis: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with Shizu recently.

Rikku: No, Artemis, it's not what it looks like, I swear.

Artemis: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Rikku: No! You're the only one for me.

Artemis: Is that so?

Rikku: I promise! Shizu and I are just dating, okay? They're my partner.

Artemis: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Rikku: You are still my one and only best friend! They're just the love of my life, nothing more!

Artemis: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Rikku: Of course! 

Shino: What the- 

—~+~—