Felix

Everett asked if he could come with me to my appointment with Paula on Monday, which was a surprise. I agreed, of course. I wanted to encourage any degree of involvement from my reluctant mate. It was actually kind of adorable, the way he intensely watched Paula as she did my check-up. Any time her brow furrowed even a little bit, he got anxious and asked what was wrong. The third time it happened, Paula threatened to send him out into the hallway until she was finished if he didn't calm down. Everett scowled until he saw me fighting back a laugh – then he blushed and looked down, keeping quiet, though the worry didn't quite leave his eyes until Paula proclaimed me to be healthy and recovered.

Paula cleared me to go back to work, which broke Everett's sulking silence as he leapt to his feet and shook his head, his mouth open and moving, but the words seeming to get caught in his throat. His eyes locked on mine and I read the clear panic there. "Give us a minute?" I murmured to Paula, who quietly left the room, shutting the door behind her.

As soon as the door was shut, Everett's arms wrapped around me in a crushing hug. "Woah, calm down," I said, hugging him back just as fiercely. I was taller than he was, so I was able to engulf him in my embrace in a way that felt completely right. Everett's head tucked against my shoulder and he showed no sign of letting go any time soon.

I rubbed soothing circles over Everett's back until he leaned back enough to look up at me. "You're worried about me going back to work," I said.

Everett winced. "Yeah."

I nodded, watching him thoughtfully. Since he seemed less panicked and more ready to talk it out now, I pulled him back onto the exam table so we could sit side-by-side. I kept Everett tucked snugly against me and he leaned into the contact, sending shoots of excitement and warmth through me. It had been hard to respect his boundaries over the past couple of days, and it was only getting worse as I got to know Everett better. Finally being able to hold him like this brought me acute relief.

I looked down at him, taking in the way his teeth worried at his lip and his eyes darted around the room nervously. I decided to try a logical approach. "You know, I've been doing this for almost a decade now and this is my first bad injury. I'm very good at protecting myself. They wouldn't have me training others in defense if that weren't true."

Everett jerked in my arms and shot an indignant look at me. "This wasn't your first bad injury," he protested.

I frowned at him. Even if I had been injured badly before – which I hadn't been – how would he know? Everett rolled his eyes at my confusion and jerked the neckline of my t-shirt down to show the thick scars on my chest.

"Oh," I said. "Those weren't anything serious, Everett."

His eyes bulged and he shook his head. "Not serious? They scarred you, Felix. It takes a lot to scar a werewolf."

"All of those scars are from the same week," I told him, hoping more information would calm him down. "A pack from up north lost their land when the government claimed eminent domain. They tried to purchase some of ours, but we wouldn't sell... so they tried to take it by force. Since they had to move everyone in their entire pack, anyone capable of fighting did, not just a smaller strike force like we would expect. I've never seen anything like it – dozens of wolves led a sneak attack in the night. If we weren't so good at patrolling, they might have succeeded in assassinating the higher-ups in Lakota and winning by dawn.

"Instead, we rallied and forced them out of our land. It took days of fighting, with those of us taking part in the battle running off to sleep only when we absolutely had to. We weren't able to spend energy on healing because of that, so we got scars from wounds that normally would have healed completely."

My hope that the explanation would calm Everett down was dashed quickly. He shook his head in horror and asked, "How do you live like this? Felix, why does anyone live here, where there's so much fighting?"

I stared at him and caught something in his eyes. This was weighing on him, I realized. He honestly didn't understand why anyone would stay... did that mean he didn't see how he could stay? "We are exposed to more violence than you're used to, Everett, but this is completely normal for most packs. The Delta pack is unique in that. You guys have too firm a foothold in the human world. Where the rest of us live off the grid as much as we can, you guys make yourselves known to the humans with paper trails to protect you. Anyone trying to steal your land would have more trouble than at another pack where there was no record of the people who lived there except a name on the land deed. Besides, your land isn't where the value of your pack lies, and land is all raiders could take."

"Then why don't more packs live like we do in Delta?" Everett asked.

I shrugged. "You lose something, too. How much time do you spend as a wolf, Everett?" I asked, recalling how long and how painful his transformation had been for our run yesterday.

"An hour a week," he said, confirming my suspicions.

"In Lakota, we shift almost every day. I don't know anyone who would be satisfied living somewhere as populated as you do, hardly ever letting out their wolf." I could see Everett starting to take offense and hurried to add, "I know you're happy there, Everett. It's your normal. But it would be hard for others to convert. And you have to admit, all the nature surrounding us is beautiful. Not to mention how much easier it is on the nose."

The anger faded from Everett's eyes as he studied me. "Okay, I see your point. But don't you want your siblings to be safe?"

I snorted. "They're plenty safe, Everett. They both know how to protect themselves, and they aren't the kind of people who would be targeted in an attack. Besides, this is home."

"You see the problem, don't you?" Everett asked. "You wouldn't be happy in the Delta pack and I wouldn't feel safe here in Lakota. So where does that leave us?"

My heart twisted even as a strange happiness flooded me. Even asking that question, even thinking about where we would live together, was progress. I took a moment to consider my words carefully. "Everett, I know you don't have any reason to believe this yet, but you would be safe here. I would keep you safe, and you wouldn't have to do any of the fighting – though I'd like to teach you more self-defense as a precaution. I would have moved my siblings away from here years ago if I thought staying put them in any danger, and I certainly wouldn't want you living where you weren't safe. But if you really couldn't see yourself living here... I would move." It hurt to even think about leaving my life here, but Everett was my mate. His happiness and wellbeing were the most important things to me.

Now Everett pulled away from me, leaving me cold. "You can't mean that," he said hoarsely. "What about your job? Mel and Magnus?"

I shrugged helplessly. "What about you? If I weigh my life here against having you with me, it's not even close. You win." Please, let this get through to him, I thought desperately. And let him consider staying with me... staying with me here.

Everett swallowed and shook his head before dropping his eyes. "Felix," he said. He looked like he was searching for words that wouldn't come and I wished we had our mate bond in place so I could pull the words directly from his mind. Everett swallowed and tried again. "Felix, that means a lot to me. You have no idea how much."

He looked up at me again, his eyes searching. I didn't know what he was looking for, but he seemed to find it. Slowly, he leaned in until our faces were only an inch apart. I basked in his warm amber eyes and tried to decipher his thoughts. He looked... tender. There was a heat in his gaze I had never seen before and I was so caught up in it that I jumped when he put his hand on my thigh, squeezing gently before sliding it slowly up. As his hand moved, so did he, until his lips were gently pressed to mine.

I panicked a little, trying to restrain myself until Everett's lips moved and the tether on my restraint snapped. I grabbed his hips and pulled him even closer, kneading with my fingers as I deepened the kiss. How much would he let me get away with? Everett's tongue licked at my lips before his teeth bit gently. I opened myself to him immediately and when his tongue swept into my mouth, I groaned.

Our tongues danced and Everett ran a hand up my spine, making me arch against him. I felt him smile against my lips before he broke the contact, giving me a small peck before pulling away.

I lifted a brow at him and he grinned in response. "That wasn't so bad," he said laughingly.

I snorted. "Please. That was the best kiss of your life, admit it."

The playfulness left him and he smiled softly at me, eyes warm again. "It was." My heart leapt and excitement raced through me until he smiled and added, "It was also the worst kiss of my life. I was never interested in messing around with anyone who wasn't my mate."

My pulse sped and I forgot how to breathe while joy spread through me. "I always felt the same way," I told him. We smiled at each other until I cupped the back of his head and pulled him back to me for another long kiss, one that I led this time.

When I pulled away, there was so much I wanted to say to him, so much I wanted to ask. What did the kissing mean? Was he accepting me? And would he be asking me to leave Lakota? I didn't ask any of that, though. I wasn't ready to hear the answers.