Everett

The next time the door opened, a man carrying a tray entered, followed by Meleri balancing two trays. She lit up when she saw me. "Everett! I have to admit, I thought you might bolt."

She passed me a tray of food and pulled another chair over to Felix's bedside, then set her tray down next to his feet. Meanwhile, the man who had preceeded her into the room did the same on the other side of the bed.

"I'm Magnus," he said, nodding at me with a friendly smile. "Felix and Meleri's brother."

"He's the youngest," Meleri said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"And how is that relevant, Mel?" Magnus demanded.

She shot him a glare and said, "Everett is Felix's mate. He should start learning about the family."

I balanced my tray on my knees and stared at Meleri. She couldn't be serious. I didn't need to know about their family. I was here to do a job, that's all. "Magnus, it's nice to meet you," I said. "Has Meleri mentioned the deal she and I made?"

Magnus' friendly smile disappeared and he suddenly looked very sad. "Yeah, she mentioned it."

"I need you to agree, too. You can't tell anyone anything about me or where to find me."

Magnus ran a hand through his hair and looked between me and Felix. "You're set on leaving him, then?"

My stomach twisted and I found myself squeezing tighter at Felix's hand. I looked over at him and tried to imagine leaving. It was impossible to picture, but not any more impossible than when I tried to imagine staying. "I don't know," I admitted. "This is... well, it's a lot. I know he's my mate, but I'm straight. I don't know if I can do this."

I glanced back at Magnus, who looked sympathetic. "I understand that, I really do. But you two are meant to be together. You'll never find a better match for yourself than my brother, and..." Magnus inhaled and exhaled deeply before continuing. "Look, Felix has been dreaming about finding his mate since we were kids. He was always so excited about it, and he still lights up when the topic comes up. I really want him to find with you the kind of happiness he's always dreamed of."

That made me feel sick, since I had always dreamed of my mate, too. I didn't think a single day had passed since I learned about mates where I didn't take some time to wonder what my mate was doing, when we would meet, how things would be between us. Even with Felix unconscious for our entire acquaintance, he had already made me feel more in one afternoon than anyone else had, ever. I didn't want to live a mateless existence.

But... how could I be with him?

I forced myself to focus on Magnus. I liked him already, which made it easier to ask something I had been wondering about all afternoon. "Don't you think he might be a little put off by the idea of a male mate?" I asked.

Magnus snorted. "No, he always knew he would end up with a man."

Meleri giggled and added, "Seriously, Felix is as sausage-loving as it gets." Her eyes widened and she threw her hands up in a panic. "Not that he's been promiscuous. You don't have to worry about that."

Magnus shook his head at her. "This is why you should let me do the talking, Mel."

I looked back to Felix. I had no idea what I expected a gay man to look like, but it wasn't like this. Maybe the beard was throwing me off? It looked unkempt and I suspected he usually kept himself clean-shaven when he wasn't in an indefinite sleep.

Magnus cleared his throat. "Everett, I understand what you're going through right now and I really appreciate that you're staying to help my brother. I swear to you, I won't do or say anything that will lead him to you after all this is over. Just... please, consider staying. You wouldn't be mates if you couldn't make each other really happy."

I nodded and let the conversation drop. We ate our food mostly in a companionable silence, with Meleri and Magnus occasionally sniping at each other. It was always good-natured and I enjoyed having some noise in the room. When it was just me and Felix here, the silence was oppressive.

After we were done eating, Meleri stood up and stretched, groaning. "Well, I'm exhausted. I'm going to go home to sleep in my own bed. It's so nice to be back in Lakota." She looked between Magnus and myself. "Do either of you need anything before I take off?" she asked.

I almost said no, but then I realized she could help me out. "Would you mind bringing me the bag that's in the trunk of my car? I don't want to let go any more than I have to," I said, indicating the hand I had joined with Felix's.

Meleri smiled sweetly and said, "Of course! Keys?"

I dug my keys out from my pocket and tossed them to her. Meleri collected our meal trays and left me alone with Magnus. The silence that fell wasn't comfortable and I was acutely aware that my only function here was to hold a complete stranger's hand.

Magnus leaned back in his seat and eyed me casually. "So, Meleri said you're from the Delta pack?"

Ah, so we had reached the small-talk portion of the evening. "Yeah, that's right."

He quizzed me on my position within the pack, my family, my hobbies - typical getting-to-know-you type questions. I, in turn, learned that Magnus taught science at the Lakota pack's high school, coached swimming, and didn't have living parents anymore. They had died while Felix was still in high school, and he had taken responsibility for his two younger siblings ever since.

After Meleri dropped off my bag and said a cheery goodbye, Magnus studied his brother pensively. "We've always been really close," he said. "All three of us. Mel and I refused to leave Felix's side after his injury until Paula got him stabilized, then she insisted we go out looking for his mate. I didn't want to go since the odds of finding you weren't great and I was afraid of missing him waking up, but it turns out she was right."

It spoke well of Felix that his siblings were willing to do so much for him. I wanted to learn more about him but wasn't sure how to ask without seeming too interested. I really didn't want to get Magnus' hopes up. There was one question I badly wanted to know the answer to that wasn't too personal, though. "What happened to him?" I asked. It was a question I had been avoiding so far since I was afraid of what my reaction would be, but I needed to know.

Magnus' open, light expression disappeared. "Felix is a warrior, but his favorite job is training pack members as they age into being allowed to fight. He's been working with his latest class for the past few months and finally took them out for their first border patrol. There was an attack. One of his students claims he would have been mauled if Felix hadn't protected him."

"Who attacked?"

Magnus' lip pulled up in a snarl. "The Tomahawk pack. They've been pushing at our borders for the past year. We've had skirmishes, but Felix is the first person to be badly injured."

I looked at Felix while I tried to untangle my emotions. I felt stupidly proud of him, knowing he was only in this state because he protected his student. Fear was also clawing its way up my throat, fear that he would never awaken. And I was anxious that something like this would happen again if he stayed here in Latoya.

"He'll be okay," Magnus said. I looked at him, frowning, and he smiled a little. "Now that you're here, Felix will be okay. I really believe that."

"Thanks," I said, feeling exposed. "What are his injuries?"

"He has several broken ribs and the wolf that got him almost tore his throat out, but the real problem is his head. He was thrown into a tree and hit his head pretty hard. The doctor said there was some bleeding, but not enough to need draining. We're still waiting for swelling to go down. They run scans every morning and every day there's been improvement. The swelling is almost gone, but he hasn't shown any signs of waking up."

That was so much worse than I had imagined. Brain injuries were serious. We healed faster than humans did, but something about the brain confounded even our biology. It was the area of the body most likely not to recover fully if seriously injured. "Could he have brain damage after all this?"

I studied Magnus closely, wanting to be certain that I caught any evasion on his part. He just shrugged, though. "Yeah, it's a possibility. Paula doesn't think it's likely, though, especially not with you here."

This conversation haunted me after Magnus left me alone. Images of myself taking care of my disabled mate flickered through my mind, making the whole thing seem more impossible to me. How could I possibly stay? But how could I leave him?

The next morning, I woke up to Paula's smiling face as she checked on Felix. My cheeks heated when I realized the position she had found me in. My head was tucked on Felix's shoulder, my legs entangled with his, my arm hooked around his waist, anchoring me to him. I couldn't have touched Felix more unless I was laying on top of the man.

I carefully disentangled myself, though I didn't ever let go of Felix completely. It took a little maneuvering, but I managed to get myself back in my chair with his hand clasped in mine. Having Paula there watching me made it much easier to pull away from Felix, so I supposed I was grateful she had come in.

I watched in silence as Paula went through the same routine she had done yesterday afternoon and that the night nurse had echoed a few hours later. When she was done, she glanced at me and smiled when she found my eyes riveted on her.

"He's doing better but he still isn't responding to stimuli. Now the wrapping on his ribs is going to come off - it was only still on as a precaution and he won't need it going forward. I'm also going to change his bandages. I might have you help me with this part if you don't mind."

"Of course," I replied automatically.

Paula took the blanket from Felix and my eyes fixed on the expanse of flesh I was seeing for the first time. His torso was completely bare - something I couldn't have helped noticing last night when I crawled into bed with him, but it was dark then. The only clothing Felix had on was a pair of faded black sweatpants sitting low enough that I could see his hipbones peeking out over the waistband. I barely stopped myself from reaching forward and bracing my hands there.

I ripped my eyes away only to have them land a little higher, on his sculpted chest. There were a few old scars there, the skin paler. I wanted to run my fingers along each one. I bet the skin was smoother there. My canines lengthened as my more animalistic side took over, ready to pounce on him. That side was easy to reign in - I just had to remind myself that he was injured and I regained control of myself.

I glanced up and Paula smiled, her eyes amused. "Ready to proceed?" she asked. When I blushed in response, she chuckled. "Sorry, I know this isn't an ideal situation. You shouldn't be seeing him like this for the first time without being able to act on it, and you certainly shouldn't have to have another person in the room. Let's just carry on the best we can, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Paula." Her unwaveringly cheery demeanor and bluntness were exactly what I needed.

"Don't worry about it, Everett. Now, we're going to need to get him into a sitting position so I can unbind his ribs. I think the easiest thing would be for you to position yourself behind him so you can hold up his shoulders and his head. I'll do the rest."

This was only the second time I had let go of Felix since I entered this room fifteen hours ago - the first time being when I changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt, used the bathroom, and brushed my teeth before going to sleep. I had felt rushed and panicky then, feeling the wrongness of leaving his side in every cell of my body.

This time, I released my grip on his hand just as Paula reached forward and started pulling out the clips that held his binding in place. The back of her fingers brushed the skin just over his wrapping and a nasty snarl ripped through my lips. Paula snatched her hand back and stepped away from Felix while I smacked a hand over my mouth, shocked.

"I'm so sorry, Paula. That was an accident."

She shook her head and her smile came back. "No, I apologize. That was bad timing on my part. Why don't you lift up Felix? I'll do my best not to touch him again."

"It's okay, really. I don't want to make your job harder. I was just unprepared." Cheeks burning again, I hesitantly crawled back onto Felix's bed. I braced myself before carefully scooping one arm under his shoulders and pulling him upright. When his head would have lolled back, I slid myself behind him so that it would fall back onto my shoulder. His back rested against my chest and his warmth soaked into me through my shirt. My heart raced. This position was incredibly intimate and I had to fight against myself to keep from wrapping my arms around him and pulling tightly against me. I looked down at his face, which rested so close to mine I could feel his breath on my skin. Now that he wasn't carefully positioned in bed, it was easy to imagine that this was just a normal sleep. I wanted so badly for him to open his eyes in that instant that my own filled with tears.

When I got myself under control again, I looked to Paula. "Let's get this over with," I said.

She kept her movements slow and precise, which really helped me keep my composure. Paula finished unclipping his binding and started unraveling it. When it needed unraveled across his back, I took over and passed it to her on the other side. We continued like that, unwrapping him together, until the rest of his torso was exposed.

I diverted my eyes, focusing instead on Paula, who was winding the bandages back up. "Should I lay him back down?" I asked.

"Not yet. I still need to change the bandages on his neck." She took gauze and medical tape out of a drawer and laid them out with a tiny pair of scissors, along with a small tub whose label was turned away from me.

"How long has it been since he was hurt?" I asked.

"Twelve days."

I had never known anyone to sleep this long. Shouldn't she be more worried about him?

Paula stepped forward and winced apologetically. "I'm going to need to touch him quite a lot. Can you handle that?"

I hated that it was a valid question. I didn't want any hands on him other than my own and my canines lengthened just thinking about her touching him "quite a lot." He needed this, I reminded myself. She was helping him get better. "Yeah, I can handle it."

Paula and I worked together to keep his head propped up while we unwound the bandages on his neck. When his neck was exposed, nausea hit me hard and I think I would have lost my breakfast if I'd had any. How could it still look this bad after twelve days? I could see the deep punctures where teeth had torn into him. Whoever clamped on his neck had shaken his head while biting, shredding the skin. The worst of it looked like ground meat and oozed with reddish-clear liquid.

"It's going to heal just fine," Paula assured me. "I know this looks awful, and he will have some scarring, but that's all."

I replayed her words in my head until my pounding chest calmed and the nausea let up. "How is it still this bad?" I asked.

Paula shrugged. "His body has been splitting its healing between all of his injuries. Most of his energy is going toward that head wound, which is good, and his ribs are completely healed now. They posed more of a risk to him, so his body instinctively prioritized them over the neck once the bleeding had stopped. Now that his ribs are fixed and you're here, his neck should start improving again."

I looked back down at the bloody mess that was my mate's neck and pushed back a swell of tears. I was glad he wasn't awake to feel this pain. Also, selfishly, I noted with relief that one side of his neck was still relatively unscathed. My gaze fell on the place I would mark him if I stayed and my gums throbbed with the effort I put into keeping my teeth at bay.

I looked back to Paula, who was being incredibly patient with me. "Would it help if I licked it?" Our saliva had healing properties, especially for our mate. As gross as his neck looked, I would do it.

Her brows raised. "Would you mind? I know that's not something everyone can wrap their minds around, especially on a wound this messy and when you don't really know each other."

"I'll do it if you think it will help him."

"It would definitely help him. Let me clean it up first - most of the liquid you see is what's left of the salve I've been applying each morning. Your saliva will work much better than that ever could."

I held Felix up while she carefully cleaned his neck. It did look a lot better once the gloppy salve was gone. I could see that the wounds had a thin layer of fresh pink skin on the shallow spots, while the deeper punctures still glistened with blood.

"Okay," Paula said. "Your turn. Let me hold him up so you can reach his neck better, okay?"

I nodded and carefully withdrew myself from him while Paula took my place. Then, not giving myself any time to think about what I was about to do, I lapped at his neck, tracing over each wound with my tongue. My mouth automatically filled with extra saliva so I could really coat his wounds in it. When I was sure I had covered every inch of wounded skin, I sat back and examined my handiwork. I thought it already looked better.

Paula nodded approvingly as I reclaimed my place behind him, holding him up while she wrapped his neck again in many layers of gauze and padding. When she was done, she said, "I can't wait to see how that looks tomorrow."

If only I could do so much for the edema in his brain.