Felix

"Okay, I've got the three suitcases, Griffin's activity tray, your parents' Christmas decorations, our emergency kit..." Everett tapped his pencil against his thigh while he studied his travel checklist like there was going to be a test on it later. He looked adorable when he was being all serious like this, but I was having a hard time appreciating that when I'd stayed up late last night wrapping presents after a full day of work.

I laid back onto the bed and let the warm scent of my mate relax me. It was deeply embedded into every part of our bedroom after our months together. I couldn't imagine ever sleeping again without it filling my senses, so much that I was bringing our duvet with us on our trip to Tourmaline to spend the holidays with Magnus and Mel. Sure, I'd have Everett with me, but he couldn't surround me the way a blanket could.

I was deeply relaxed and on the brink of dozing off when Everett said "Felix!" with such urgency my eyes snapped open and I automatically launched myself off the bed and positioned myself defensively between Everett and the door. I cast out my senses for some threat, but I couldn't see, smell, or hear anything out of the ordinary.

Everett grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him. "Focus! The presents aren't on the list and there's no way we'll have time to wrap everything before we leave. How could we forget?! This is Griffin's first Christmas with us and we've already ruined it!"

He was on the verge of tears and his breathing was coming in quick gasps that would make him pass out if he kept them up for long. "Hey, calm down. It's okay. I took care of it last night and they're already loaded in the car."

His eyes widened and instead of hyperventilating, now he didn't seem to be breathing at all. "You... you did?"

"Yes. And it would take a lot more than that to ruin Christmas, okay?" I pressed a kiss to Everett's head, but he still seemed stunned. Then his eyes filled with tears and I pulled him in for a tight hug.

Everett had been putting a lot of pressure on himself to make the holidays perfect for Griffin this year. We had the traditional picture of Griffin wailing on a mall Santa's lap and the house had been decorated within an inch of its life even though we wouldn't even be here for Christmas. Everett, his mother, and Griffin had spent most of yesterday baking. Now there was an army of gingerbread men and sugar cookies along with what had to be an excessive selection of icing and decorations packed away in the car, ready to be decorated with my siblings.

And that wasn't all. We had mailed out Christmas cards to everyone we knew that featured a photo of the three of us in matching reindeer sweaters and antlers. Every window in the house was plastered with cutout snowflakes Griffin and Everett had made together while I was at work. Everett had cooked us fruitcake even though absolutely no one was going to eat it, and he was all geared up to make minced meat pies tomorrow even though he had never even had one before. Everett was doing anything he could think of to make the holiday memorable for Griffin, who was young enough that he almost definitely would remember absolutely none of this. Griffin was loving it now, though, and that was enough for me.

The trouble was the stress Everett was putting on himself. He was always so focused on the next activity that I didn't think he had enjoyed any of what they were doing in the present. No amount of telling him to slow down had made a difference, and any help I offered only seemed to make things worse. The plans would get more elaborate, more demanding. Less relaxing for my mate.

So even though I knew it would upset Everett that wrapping presents had somehow not made his checklist, I didn't point it out to him. The last thing he needed was another thing to do, another box to tick. I was actually pretty good at wrapping, and this was something I could do for him.

Everett stared up at me and I could almost feel his mind working, could almost see him trying to decide just how upset with himself he should be. His eyes softened just before he dropped his head to rest on my chest. "Thank you," he said, sounding as tired as I felt.

"Of course. You're not in this alone, Everett."

He pulled away and stared up at me with glistening eyes. "Thanks to you, I'm never really alone."

My heart pumped faster, as though he and I hadn't been together for months now. As though there was something new about the intensity of my adoration for this man, or as though I was hearing him confess feelings for me for the first time. Would Everett always be able to stir me so easily, with just a few words?

I gently lifted his chin and leaned in to kiss him. Everett hummed his pleasure and relaxed against me as his tongue moved with mine. It was almost perfect; the only thing that could have made it better was if Everett didn't cut it off so soon.

"We need to get on the road!" he said, his eyes wide and worried. "If we get there too late, we'll never get Griffin to bed on time."

I was sure Griffin would be up late tonight regardless of when we arrived. He was too excited about seeing his Uncle Magnus and Aunt Mel for this to play out any other way, and I was excited to see him so worked up.

Then I thought about what he would be like tomorrow when he was cranky from getting less sleep, and it seemed a lot less adorable.

Even so, part of me was strangely glad to have this particular problem. It was only possible because of the family I was lucky enough to belong to – my mate, who was everything I ever could have hoped for and our son, who might be a handful sometimes, but who brought me joy I scarcely could have dreamed of even though I had always wanted to be a father. What right did I have to complain about a cranky day when I had so much?

--

We arrived on Tourmaline territory a little after six, and Griffin had just graduated from being fussy to throwing an absolute fit. He didn't like sitting in his car seat for so long. He didn't like the snacks we'd brought for him, even though he had helped Everett pick them out just this morning. He didn't want to color or look at any of his books.

In short, he was having one of those little kid meltdowns.

I saw the way the border guard winced when I rolled down my window to pass him our ID cards. "Sorry, we drove through naptime," I said apologetically. And had Griffin slept? Not a wink.

Everett was sitting in the back with Griffin, trying valiantly to turn around his mood and failing at every turn. Thankfully, the guard didn't take long to record us in the visitor's log or to verify that Magnus, as alpha, had granted me unlimited access to pack land. I could come and go as I pleased, no escort needed. Soon enough, I drove through the winding forest roads and just a few minutes later, we reached the parking lot closest to Magnus' house.

When I parked the car, Griffin's wailing grew even louder.

"Shh, shh! We're here, okay?" Everett said desperately.

I got out of the car and quickly extracted Griffin from his car seat. "Look, do you see that big white house?" Griffin ignored me, but I carried on anyway. "That's where Uncle Magnus and Aunt Mel live."

That got Griffin's attention. He stared where I pointed and I thought I could see him trying to decide just how big of a fit to throw to get us there faster. I caught Everett's eyes over the roof of the car and he nodded. We'd come back for our things later.

As we neared the house, Griffin squirmed in my arms. When the door opened, he pushed against me so hard that I almost dropped him. I stopped fighting after that. I put him down and he ran on his clumsy toddler legs all the way up the porch steps and into Magnus' waiting arms.

Magnus swept him up and hugged him tightly, and I don't think he would have if stopped hugging him if Mel hadn't come out and wrapped her arms around the two of them.

"Gross! Cooties!" Magnus squealed.

"Magnus, we don't want to teach him that girls have cooties," Everett said.

Magnus managed to extricate himself and Griffin from Mel's hold. He stuck his tongue out at her and said, "I never said they were girl cooties. It's just Mel who has them."

Magnus darted into the house and slammed the door behind him before Mel could chase after him. She wasn't slowed down for long, though. She threw the door open and went chasing after Magnus, though I could tell neither of them were really trying – there would have been more crashing noises if they were. Instead, all I could hear were Magnus' playful yelps when Mel got too close, Mel's exaggerated growling, and Griffin's delighted laughter.

"It's like I don't even exist," I said, laughing a little as I watched their game of chase from the doorway.

Since Magnus and Mel had Griffin under control, Everett and I unloaded the car. It took far too many trips – seriously, if I hadn't seen for myself Everett's checklist and known how much thought and work he put into it, I would have probably complained starting the fourth trip we made. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and focused on Everett. He was so happy that I swear I caught him humming while we slogged back and forth between Magnus' house and our car.

When we finally finished, we found everyone sitting around the kitchen table with mugs of hot chocolate. Magnus' eyes grew wide when he saw Everett. "Sorry! I know we haven't had dinner yet, but hot chocolate sounded so good!"

Normally, Magnus' worries would have been founded – as a parent, Everett could be strict – but I was quickly learning just how much leeway Everett gave everyone during the holidays. "Hot chocolate does sound good! Is there any more?"

Magnus' wide eyes found mine and I saw how confused he was by Everett's response. I smiled and shrugged, and Magnus quickly got with the program. "Yeah, lots more! Let me get you some."

"Thanks!" Everett said. Then he jumped a little and said, "Oh, I'll be right back!"

He dashed out of the room before any of us could respond and returned a couple minutes later with a handful of candy canes. Everett made quick work of unwrapping them and plunking one into each of our mugs. He swirled his around, took a sip, and hummed in pleasure.

Everett was like the Inspector Gadget of Christmas – he had everything he could possibly need packed away in his bags.

After a while, Magnus and Everett started getting dinner together while Mel, Griffin, and I put together Magnus' old train set from his childhood.

"Needs snow!" Griffin said. He had gotten really into all the Christmas decorating.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We don't have any snow," Mel said, looking truly apologetic about letting him down.

I waved off her worries. "I'm sure there's something we can use packed away in our bags. Griffin, why don't we ask Daddy after dinner?"

I absolutely loved watching his mind work. His brows furrowed and he studied the bare train scene we had laid out. "That's okay," he said decisively. I sighed in relief. I was not in the mood to try reasoning with a newly-turned three-year-old.

Naturally, when dinner came around, Griffin scarfed his food faster than any of the rest of us and then immediately started pestering Everett for snow. Everett said he had to wait until everyone's dinner was finished and managed to hold to that for about five minutes before Griffin's pouty face wore him down and the two disappeared to do their decorating.

"Someone sure caught the holiday spirit," Mel commented.

"Turns out Christmas is important to Everett," I said. "Really important."

Mel leaned in, her eyes focusing on me as they did whenever she caught wind of interesting gossip. "So what did you get him?" she asked.

"I originally got him a new laptop bag, but then I saw how excited he is about all this and I didn't want to do too little and disappoint him... so I talked to his mother," I said.

Mel snorted, but Magnus' eyes grew wide with excitement. "Oh, what did she say?" he asked, leaning in now, too.

"She told me to stop thinking of office supplies as gifts," I said sheepishly. When you put it that way, it seemed sort of obvious. Mel laughed in delight and I rolled my eyes at her. "I know, I know. So I got him a photo album."

"A photo album?" Mel repeated skeptically.

"Trust me, it's perfect," I said. "You'll see."

--

The next morning, we were woken up early by Griffin, who climbed up onto our bed and started shaking us. "Daddy! Pop! We have to open presents!"

I cracked open one reluctant eye, wondering if I dared look at the time on my phone or if knowing would just make it harder to get up. Everett groaned and rolled over, but after a few more seconds of Griffin jumping and hollering his excitement, Everett jolted and sat up, looking way too alert.

"It's Christmas!" Everett said. He wrapped his arms around Griffin and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"No! Presents, Daddy!" Griffin protested, wriggling ineffectively against Everett's hold.

Everett laughed. "Okay, okay. We'll be down in a few minutes. Why don't you meet us there? I have to wake up your Pop."

Griffin scrambled off the bed and I heard the sound of his feet pounding down the stairs a few seconds later.

How could such a little kid make so much noise?

"Felix?" Everett said, shaking my shoulder gently.

"Rrr," I groaned.

He laughed. "Come on, it's not that early." I heard Everett shifting a bit and then he said, "Actually, on second thought... don't look at the time."

Oh, no. That meant it was as early as it felt.

"Please?" Everett said. "For me, please get up?"

"I'll show you getting up," I grumbled, though in all honesty, I actually wanted sleep more than sex right now. The past couple of weeks of Christmas build-up had wiped me out.

"Maybe later. If you behave," Everett said in a faux-stern voice.

"What if I'd rather be naughty?" I asked, smirking into my pillow. He gently smacked my shoulder and I laughed, giving up on sleep and finally sitting up.

Everett laughed with me, though he tossed in an eye roll for good measure. "Come on, you can be naughty later."

I let him pull me downstairs, though I caught sight of the time on the stove as we passed through the kitchen and winced. It wasn't even six AM yet. We made it to the living room, where a trove of presents overflowed from underneath the tree. Griffin was already sorting through them and piling up some on an empty chair. He must have woken up Mel and Magnus, too, since they were slumped together on a couch. Magnus was blinking blearily, clearly trying to be alert, and Mel was possibly sleeping on his shoulder.

When Magnus finally managed to keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds, he frowned at the pile Griffin was making. "Can he read?"

Everett pulled me to the other couch and grinned proudly. "Not yet, but he knows his letters. He picks out his name by finding the letter G."

"Smart kid," Magnus said, sounding deeply impressed. That made Everett absolutely glow.

"He really is."

I decided to help Griffin sort presents, and there were so many that it took a good five minutes before we each had a little stack at our feet. Griffin had so many gifts that they overfilled the chair and some had to be piled on the floor. He was sorting through them with a serious expression. Meanwhile, I was growing more anxious about my gift for Everett.

It was sitting on top of Everett's stack, and all my confidence that this was the right present for him was evaporating the longer I stared at it.

"You okay?" Everett asked, nudging me with his shoulder.

Better get it over with, I decided. I picked up the golden-wrapped gift and held it out for him. "Open this."

He took it and read the tag, then looked up at me with questioning eyes. He turned the box over and carefully unwrapped it, and I wondered whether he was going as slowly as I thought or if I was really just that nervous.

Finally, Everett held the album in his hands and I watched as his eyes filled with tears as his fingers traced over the embossing on the front. I'd had it custom-made so the cover of the big, leather-bound book had our family tree stamped into it. It started with our parents at the top, then us, and finally Griffin. There was plenty of room to add any future children we had, too.

"Open it," I encouraged. Everett did, and he flipped through the few pages of pictures I had already added – not only of us and Griffin, but of our parents and my siblings, too. "Your mother helped me with some of those," I said quietly.

He carefully closed the album and set it on the arm of the couch, then wrapped himself around me. I returned the embrace and kissed the top of his head. "It's perfect," Everett said through our link, and even his mental voice was shaky with emotion.

Thank goodness for his mother – Everett never would have reacted this way for a laptop bag.

After a few minutes – and when Griffin was already almost halfway through his present stack – Everett finally pulled away and wiped at his wet cheeks. Then, he started digging through my gift stack and came out with a little white box with a green bow on it. "Open this one," he said.

This was our first time exchanging gifts, so I had no idea what kind of things Everett would come up with. I quickly got the box open and pulled out a folded-up stack of papers. A quick glance at Everett told me he was amused by my confusion, and I could see excitement sparkling in his eyes.

It took me longer than it should have to understand what I was looking at once I unfolded the papers. There were printed-out boarding passes for flights to Iceland on top, then a booking confirmation for a hotel in Reykjavik, and then page after page of tickets for activities like touring volcano tunnels, hiking on a glacier, and swimming in natural hot springs.

"Everett?" I said uncertainly.

"You and I are taking a trip. Griffin will stay with my mom during the weekdays, and then Mel and Magnus are taking him for the weekend. I thought it would be nice to have some time to ourselves," he explained.

I continued to stare at him, still too shocked to even begin to put together a response.

"I know we jumped into parenthood really quickly, and I know you wanted to make sure we still got time just for us," Everett said, looking anxious now. "I just thought... Well, I already cleared it with Spencer, if that's what you're worried about."

Oh, gosh. Now he was looking self-conscious and worried. That was unacceptable, especially when he had done something so wonderful. "You're incredible," I said. "Everett..."

I didn't have words, but maybe I didn't need them. I cupped a gentle hand around the back of his head and pulled him in for a deep kiss that I hoped conveyed how I was feeling. When we separated, I whispered, "Thank you."

He looked up at me, bright-eyed and pink-cheeked. "You're welcome. Though I feel like I cheated a bit since it's sort of a gift to myself, too."

I laughed. "You deserve it," I assured him.

I looked back down at the papers in my hands and went through them again, already daydreaming about our trip.

"You two done over there?" Mel asked. "I know Everett just won at Christmas, but you're both the only ones who still have presents left to open."

I looked around the room, which had scraps of wrapping paper strewn everywhere. Griffin sat amongst a mound of toys and books and clothes while Magnus helped him decide what to play with first. Meanwhile, Mel raised a brow at me as though she was annoyed, but I could see the warmth in her eyes and the smile she was fighting back. I stuck out my tongue.

"Gift opening isn't a race," I said.

"Sure, but I'd like to have breakfast sometime, ya know, before lunch."

Everett laughed and took his next present off the stack. "Don't worry, I brought cinnamon rolls. We'll get them out soon."

Mel's eyes lit up and she stopped complaining, finally joining Magnus on the floor with Griffin. Everett turned to me and said, "Better get opening."

And even though it was an ungodly hour in the morning – even though by all rights, we should not have even started our days yet – this was already the greatest Christmas of my life.

--

Well...

When I started this, it was meant to be shorter, smuttier, and all-around less focused on mushy Christmas things.  That's what I wanted.  I think what I needed was a reminder, in this insane pandemic year, of what Christmas usually feels like.  I don't know about all of you, but my holidays are going to be hollow and I'm already mourning missing out on seeing so many of the best people in my life.  I sincerely hope that you all have the best holiday season you can, and I hope that this brought people at least a bit of the comfort I felt writing it.

And for those reading in the future, when covid has blown over and things are somewhat normal again -- maybe take a moment to appreciate what you have.  I know I've taken closeness with the people in my life for granted far too much, and I hope this year has taught me better.

On a less gloomy note - I'm going to be putting out more chapters in the next week (writing this as of 12/18/20).  No promises, but I'd like to do at least one more extra for this book.  I have a few ideas, but if there's ever anything in particular you'd like to see, let me know!

Thanks for reading,

Nia