Felix

First, I was aware of movement and a sudden lack of warmth.

I drew in a breath so I could complain about the change, and with that breath came a new awareness. The most wonderful scent in the world was heavy in the air. I inhaled again, trying to place it. I was still groggy and my mind was sluggish, refusing to cooperate, but one word pushed itself to the forefront of my mind: mate.

Joy like I had never felt before spread through me. My mate was here. After waiting for so long, I had finally found him. Or... maybe he had found me. I struggled to get my body to cooperate. I wanted to open my eyes, wanted to reach for him, but all I managed was flexing my hand.

I gritted my teeth, refusing to accept such weakness in myself. The harder I fought, the more my body woke up, until finally I opened my eyes. They settled automatically on the man who sat next to me, his hand resting on my arm while he looked at the screen of his phone. Tingling heat radiated out from where our skin met.

How was he touching me so casually, like this wasn't something new and wonderful? Irritation swelled as he continued to pay attention to his phone instead of to me.

Finally, he put the phone down and lifted his gaze to my face. Our eyes met and the tingling sensation of his hand on my arm faded into the background of my awareness. All I could focus on were his eyes, the warm amber shade of them sending heat skittering through my core and radiating throughout my whole body.

He seemed just as caught in my eyes as I was in his, at least at first. Then his eyes widened with shock and filled with tears. Before I could ask him what was wrong, he leaned over my body and pressed a button on the side of my bed.

For the first time, I looked at my surroundings, taking in the wide hospital bed, the tubes going into my skin, the machines that were humming nearby. I looked back at my mate, who had withdrawn his touch from me and was staring at me, the shock still dominating his beautiful features.

The door was flung open hard enough that it hit the wall behind it. Paula came rushing through, her eyes wide. When she saw me, she burst into tears.

I looked between her and my mate for some kind of explanation, but none was forthcoming. Paula hurried to my side and reached toward me, pulling her hand back before it made contact with an apologetic glance at my mate.

"How do you feel?" she asked me.

"Confused," I answered honestly. My voice came out hoarse and broken, so I cleared my throat before I spoke again. "What's going on?"

I couldn't focus on Paula long, not with my mate sitting right next to me. I reached for him with my right arm, which was free of needles and tubes, brushing my palm against his cheek. My mate tensed at the contact, his neck pulling taut with tension and his eyes snapping shut. He leaned into it, though, and I took that as an invitation. I let my thumb caress his high cheekbone before sliding my hand up to feel his hair, which was cut short and tickled against my palm.

"Felix?" Paula asked hesitantly. "Do you want me to come back in a little while?"

I blushed, but couldn't give up touching my mate now that he was right here with me. I reached for his hand, entwining our fingers before I turned back to Paula. "That's okay. What's going on?" I asked again.

"You've been in a coma for almost two weeks," she said, speaking slowly and clearly with her eyes locked on mine. They were full of sympathy.

I gaped at her, shocked. That was a long time. I shook my head automatically. It couldn't be. But Paula wouldn't joke about something like this, and when I looked at my mate, his gaze burned into mine. There was no humor in his gaze, just worry. Worry for me? What had happened to me?

"You don't remember?" Paula asked cautiously.

I frowned and thought hard. The last thing I remembered was taking my class out for their first border patrol. Leo had been hyper, darting ahead of everyone and then bouncing on his toes while he waited for us to catch up. Lissa and Ursula wouldn't stop giggling nervously and whispering to each other, no matter how often I hushed them. Thomas was on high alert, the only one of them to take this completely seriously. He stayed close to Ursula's side, hovering protectively and setting off more giggles.

We had finally reached the border, making way too much noise as my students crunched through the forest. They were doing better than I had expected, though.

Then, a scent on the wind. A foreign wolf without the smell of our pack on him. No, he reeked of Tomahawk. He howled and another two wolves flanked him.

Had that really happened? It all felt so distant and the details were wavering, almost like the fading tendrils of a dream after waking. But I could feel a lingering soreness in my body, and how else would I have ended up here if it weren't real?

Okay, there were three wolves from a hostile pack. What next? I squeezed my eyes shut and really concentrated, and dredged up more of the story.

I had yelled for my students to shift just before doing the same, and dove for the nearest wolf. I landed on him in my wolf form, claws digging into his skin, teeth clamped on his throat. That one went down easily – too easily. The other two wolves realized I was the biggest threat and split up to attack my students, effectively splitting my focus.

Leo circled with the leader while the other snapped at Lissa and Ursula, who danced back whenever his teeth came near. They needed to get more aggressive with him. Couldn't they see he was only playing, driving their fear while he waited for the right opening to kill them?

It was starting to really come back to me now, almost like I was still in the fight. I could hear and feel my heart racing, but I needed to know what happened and kept picking through the memories.

Since Lissa and Ursula were still two against one and Thomas was sneaking around behind their opponent, I rushed for Leo. Before I could get to him, he darted forward and swiped powerfully at the leader, blood welling up in his wake. Leo followed that up with a tackle and dug his teeth into the leader's belly. It didn't kill him, but the leader shifted back into his human form so he could clutch at his intestines, which threatened to spill out.

Leo jumped away and shifted back into his human form, whooping loudly and dancing in celebration. A dark form leaped from the forest: a fourth wolf. Leo wasn't paying any attention, though. The wolf was going to kill him. I could see its eager eyes, its bared teeth. I dove between them just when the wolf would have hit Leo. Pain flared, but I lashed out with tooth and claw, trying to deal as much damage as I could even as darkness encroached on my vision. The wolf and I landed and he growled ferociously, then sprang toward me again. I was weak from blood loss and couldn't dodge him in time. There was a hard impact and then I felt myself being launched through the air.

I didn't remember landing.

I didn't remember anything after that.

"Is Leo okay? And the rest of my class?" I demanded, finally opening my eyes and looking to Paula for answers.

Stark relief suffused Paula's expression and she grinned at me. "Yeah, everyone's fine. You're the only one who got really hurt."

I squeezed my eyes shut again while the painful knot of fear loosened its grip on my heart. "Good. That's good."

"Now, do you mind answering some questions for me? You took a bad blow to the head and I want to make sure everything's in working order before I leave you with your mate."

I glanced back up at my mate, whose expression was impossible to read. There was a coldness there that made the fear trickle back through me. "Okay," I agreed hesitantly.

Paula asked me about my name and birthday, about my family, about current events. She asked about my parents. She checked my hearing and pulled out a letter chart so she could check my vision, too. She also shone a light in my eyes and made me squeeze her hands as hard as I could before she seemed satisfied. The whole time, my mate was a silent, stern presence at my side.

"So far, so good," Paula said brightly. "Do you think you're ready to try walking?" I nodded and watched Paula remove the needles and tubes from my flesh. The pinching sensation was unpleasant, but I was glad to be free of them. She also sent my mate outside the room while she disconnected the catheter I hadn't been aware was helping my bladder. Then, we had an immensely humiliating exchange where she had to both explain that I'd been given a rectal catheter, and remove it.

I vowed to myself never to think of this again.

Once Paula was done freeing me from the wires, tubes, and machines that had been supporting me during the coma, she opened the door for my mate to return and went to write something down on her clipboard. Meanwhile, my mate's eyes scanned me, and I saw them soften a bit. Was he checking to make sure I was okay?

Paula pulled over a walking frame I hadn't noticed from against the wall. "Nice and slow," she cautioned. "Stand first, and once you're sure you're steady, then think about taking a step."

I tested my body, stretching and flexing my muscles before swinging my legs over the side of the bed. My mate stepped closer and hovered while I gingerly slid to the side of the bed and stood, clutching the walking frame while my legs wobbled.

"I'm not going to fall," I told him when I was sure it was true. He didn't relax his guard, though. Instead, he moved by my side, looking adorably protective, as I took a couple of small steps forward.

"I feel a little weak, but stable," I told them.

Paula had me walk a couple of laps around the room, smiling her approval the whole time. I felt stupid being praised for walking, but Paula's praise made my mate's gaze warm a little, so I didn't complain.

"I want to see you do this alone now," Paula said. "Try without the frame. Everett, let him try this alone." She added the last part when he stepped in and braced a hand under my elbow before I could release the frame.

I looked up at my mate – at Everett – and grinned when he scowled at her. His gaze shifted to me and I sank into it willingly.

"Will you be okay?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," I assured him, loving that he was trying to take care of me. Everett's hand slipped from mine, but he kept his arm stubbornly outstretched toward me, ready to catch me at the first hint of weakness. I walked forward and Everett moved with me until we reached the bed.

"Are you satisfied now?" he asked Paula.

"Very," she said. "I'll work on discharging Felix. He can go home tonight as long as he isn't left alone. It's just a precaution."

"Thank you," I said, and sighed in relief when she left and I was alone with Everett.

I opened my mouth to speak but didn't get any words out before the door crashed open and my siblings came sprinting in. My brother and sister both ran over and launched themselves at me. Meleri got to me just before Magnus did and she hugged me tightly, squeezing hard enough to make my ribs ache. Magnus wrapped his arms around the two of us, pressing his nose against my hair and breathing me in.

"I'm okay," I assured them. Instead of calming them down, my words were the cue for them both to open the floodgates. Tears streamed into my hair and against my neck while Meleri sniffled and Magnus shuddered against me. "Ssh, I'm okay," I said again.

Magnus pulled away just far enough that he could see my face, his eyes roaming over me before fixing on my own. "You really scared us," he said.

Meleri pulled back, too, and whacked my shoulder. "Never do that again," she said.

I didn't bother responding. If I ever had to decide between risking myself and protecting my wards, I would always choose to protect them. There was no point in upsetting Meleri further, though. She wasn't in the mood to be reasonable.

"How do you feel?" Magnus asked.

"Fine. A little stiff, a little shaky. Nothing to worry about." I flexed my forearms since the rest of my body was locked down by my siblings. It still felt so good to move.

Meleri finally peeled herself away from me, rubbing her sleeve against her cheek and dabbing carefully underneath her damp eyes, clearing away the smeared makeup. Magnus withdrew, too, though neither of them went far. I moved to sit on the bed with my siblings taking seats on either side, and realized Paula had left.

Everett cleared his throat and Meleri jumped like she'd forgotten he was there. "Paula said Felix can't be left alone tonight," he said. "Someone will need to stay with him."

I froze. I had assumed Everett would stay with me. I had a lot of questions for him and was excited to have some alone time with my mate. Everett was looking at my brother, though, not at me.

I glanced at Magnus, whose expression was hard to read. Finally, Magnus nodded. "I can stay with him," he said.

I looked back to Everett and caught the relief in his eyes before they flashed to mine and filled with guilt.

My stomach sank. "You aren't staying?" I asked.

Everett drew in a deep breath and didn't answer for too long. Then he gave Magnus and Meleri looks, though I couldn't tell what he was communicating. It seemed my siblings knew my mate better than I did, because they were able to interpret his look. Magnus stood and hooked an arm around Meleri's shoulders, pushing her toward the door. Mel dug in her heels and tried to resist, but Magnus whispered in her ear and she let him tug her through the door, sending a glare at Everett before they disappeared.

I fixed my gaze on Everett apprehensively. "What is it?" I demanded.

Everett ran a hand over his hair and averted his gaze. "I don't belong here, Felix," he said. Hearing him say my name was still new and should have been exciting, but it brought me no pleasure.

I stared at him, grasping for an explanation, or at least for some kind of response. I finally said, "You're my mate. You belong with me." Was he needed elsewhere? Would he let me join him?

Everett shook his head. "It's not that simple."

I felt sick. As far as I was concerned, it was simple. I had no idea how he had found me here, but now that he had, was he really planning to leave? "Why not?"

Everett met my gaze and pain flashed through his eyes, causing him to bite his lip. He joined me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tightly against his chest. I returned the embrace helplessly, losing myself in the heady scent of him. "I'm sorry," he said. "You deserve better than a mate like me."

Once again, I was at a complete loss. His words only confused me more and encouraged the panic that was starting to take over. "What does that mean? Could you please start making sense?"

Everett snorted and loosened his grip on me, though I stayed tucked against him. "None of this makes sense to me either. Felix, I never meant to stay with you once you were recovered, but I don't know how to leave anymore."

"Then don't," I said, pushing furiously through the hurt his words inflicted. "What's wrong?"

I finally loosened my grip on Everett so I could lean back and see his face. His eyes were soft on mine, though his jaw was hard-set. He was still worrying his lip between his teeth, which drew unfair attention to his full lips. "Felix... I'm straight."

I pulled away further and blinked in shock. He watched anxiously as I absorbed this. "Oh," I finally said.

"Oh?" he pressed.

"Well, I can see how this might be difficult for you."

Everett snorted, then laughed. I joined in, not because any of this was funny but because hearing him laugh made me feel so light and happy. Anything was better than that awful cold expression that kept taking over. "Yeah, it has been... difficult." He snorted again in amusement at the word.

I fought against the hurt that spread through me at the knowledge that my mate wasn't attracted to me. It wasn't personal. We didn't even know each other, so it couldn't be personal. Instead of focusing on my pain, I tried to think about it from Everett's perspective.

What if I had been mated to a woman?

A shudder ran through me at the thought. It was a completely unappealing prospect. But of course, I wouldn't reject a female mate. You only got one mate, no do-overs. Everett would adjust, given time. Until then... "Well, why don't we try being friends?" I offered.

Everett tilted his head at me. "Friends?" he repeated doubtfully.

"I understand that you might not want an intimate relationship with me" – right now, I added in my head – "so why don't we get to know each other as friends? I won't try to push you beyond that."

Everett smiled a little. "You would really be okay with us being friends?" he asked. I could hear the hope in his voice and it warmed me. He didn't want to push me away entirely, he just needed time to adjust. I could give him that. I would give him anything as long as it meant I could keep him in my life.

"Yes, absolutely. Just don't go."

Everett ran the backs of his fingers gently over my cheeks, leaning toward me and making the gesture feel intimate. I knew my cheeks heated, but I didn't care. His gaze burned into mine and he leaned closer until –

Everett blinked furiously and pulled away. "Friendship might be difficult," he admitted.

"You set the boundaries," I said desperately. "I'll take as much or as little of you as you're willing to offer." I couldn't believe I was saying this. After all of my imaginings of what meeting my mate would be like, him telling me he was straight and me begging for scraps of attention was undeniably disappointing.

I watched Everett carefully, trying to pick up any hint of what he was thinking. It was hard. He skillfully kept a mask over his expression and I was left waiting with bated breath. Finally, just as I thought I might pass out from breathing so shallowly, he nodded. "Okay. Friends," he finally agreed. His eyes met mine, full of a warmth that flowed through me and pooled in my stomach.

Relief loosened the tension I'd been feeling and I barely restrained myself from touching him. "Thank you," I said.

Everett shook his head. "No, thank you. You're being incredibly understanding," he said. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, "And could you please put a shirt on? It's getting distracting."

I grinned, fighting back delighted laughter. Maybe he was a little bit attracted to me, after all.