Felix

I was breathing hard when I reached the front door, though it wasn't from the running. No, I was nervous. I opened the front door and froze when I walked in.

It smelled amazing. Everett poked his head out of the kitchen and said, "I know it's early for dinner, but I made chili. It's simmering now. We can eat whenever you want – letting it cook longer just makes it taste better."

He disappeared back into the kitchen and I went after him, helpless to resist the pull. I found Everett stirring a pot, which he then lidded before turning back to me. "How was work?" he asked, leaning back against the counter.

I couldn't help the dopey smile that spread across my face. Look how domestic we were acting. "It was really good. I've been struggling with one of my students and finally got through to him, I think."

Everett smiled at that. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Did you do anything other than cook while I was gone? Are you settled in?" Are you planning to stay in the room across the hall? I was desperate to know, but couldn't ask. Better to not know than to hear him say yes.

"I got a little work done. I'm trying not to do too much, though. I need Harry to start feeling like he's in charge or he'll rely on me forever. And... I wanted to talk to you before I got settled in."

"Talk to me?" I echoed.

"Actually, do you mind if we talk now?" Everett focused those captivating eyes of his on mine and I was helpless to deny him. Besides, we really did need to talk and putting it off wouldn't help anything.

"Sure," I said. I turned around and settled myself on a couch in the living room. Everett sat next to me – next to, but not touching. My heart ached at being so close and still not having contact. How long could I sustain this?

Everett cleared his throat. "I want to renegotiate the terms of our relationship," he said.

I raised my brows at him, hopeful and afraid.

Everett fidgeted, twisting his fingers together over and over. "I have too much power here, Felix. You let me get away with too much."

What was I supposed to say to that? It was true for a healthy, balanced relationship. It wasn't true for our situation. What was I supposed to do, go against what my mate wanted and was comfortable with? My choices up to this point had been limited. I'd had to give him everything he needed or I would have lost him.

Everett looked away from me and sighed. "I want us to be together, Felix. Not friends. You're my mate, and you deserve better than I've been giving you."

"This isn't about what I deserve," I told him again. How many times would I have to say that before he believed it? "Don't give me more than you want to out of a sense of obligation."

Everett ran a shaking hand through his hair and groaned in frustration. "It's not like that."

I caught the hand that wasn't mussing his hair and pulled him toward me. Our eyes locked and his breathing caught. "Tell me what it's like," I said softly.

Everett closed the distance between us, kissing me with more heat than I had expected. He opened his mouth and our tongues tangled. I tried to pull away since kissing wasn't going to resolve anything, but Everett grabbed cupped the back of my neck to keep me there and slipped his other hand under the bottom of my shirt to tease my waist. His fingers darted under the band of my jeans and I jolted. It was too much, feeling him touch me there. If I didn't put space between us, I would push him much harder than he was ready for.

I broke our kiss, pressing our foreheads together and staring directly into his eyes. "Don't tease me," I growled. "You won't like what happens."

Everett's eyes brightened with excitement. "I might like it," he said.

I took a couple of deep, calming breaths. If I didn't, I would pounce him. When I was sure I had control of myself, I said, "Might? When I take you, Everett, you won't be unsure."

He inhaled rapidly and bit his lip. I couldn't help feeling satisfaction at his reaction to me. "You're right," he said shakily. Everett released his grip on me only to take hold of one of my hands, and he didn't scoot away. I took that as a small victory.

"So where does this leave us? What do you want, Everett?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't hear my growing impatience in my voice.

Everett swallowed and looked away from me for a long couple of minutes. I held my ground. I couldn't help him through this. He needed to tell me exactly what he wanted in his own words or we would never make any real progress.

Finally, he reluctantly focused on me, looking painfully shy. It melted me and made me want to take it all back, to tell him we could put this off until later, when he was feeling more comfortable. I didn't tell him that, though. Instead I waited until he found his courage.

"I want us to be together. You're my mate, Felix, and I care about you. I'm still working through some things, but I don't want you taking them on yourself."

"That doesn't sound any different from what we have right now," I pointed out.

Everett swallowed and looked away again. He steadfastly refused to meet my gaze when he said, "I want us to be together," he repeated.

"I don't know what that means, Everett." I cupped his face and gave him the most reassuring smile I could conjure. "You can tell me anything," I said. "No judgment here."

"I don't know why this is so hard," he said, smiling a little.

I shrugged. "We haven't known each other that long."

"True. But you're my mate. If I can't open myself up to you, there's no hope for me." He looked down again, fiddling with my hand. I gave him the time he needed until he finally looked back up at me. "I want to be with you, Felix. I want us to be equal partners – without you feeling like you need to ask permission or wait for me to make a move first. I want us to share a room. And... I want you to..."

I was overwhelmed, so it was a relief when he ran out of words. "I really want all of that, too, as soon as you're ready for it."

His eyes met mine. They were steady now, though I could still see the nerves in them, buried in resolve. "I'm ready, Felix. It's just... the rest. I'm so nervous. I wish I weren't, but I don't think this will go away unless we push through it."

"The rest?" I asked, hardly daring to breathe. Surely he didn't mean...

"You're my mate, Felix," Everett said. "I want us to be together... really be together."

We were already sitting close together, but I pressed forward until my thighs were completely against his. I put my free hand on his waist and leaned into him so we shared the same space. "I don't want there to be any misunderstanding between us, especially not with this. Do you mean that you want us... that you want me to..." I struggled for words and felt a pang of sympathy for Everett. But he had been carrying the conversation so far and it hadn't been easy for him. I needed to carry my weight too.

I shook off my nerves and forced the words out. "Do you want us to seal our bond?"

Everett's eyes searched mine as he nodded jerkily.

I swallowed, but my mouth was suddenly dry. "When?"

He smiled a little. "Today? Now, before I have time to get too anxious about it?"

At this point, my heart was racing uncomfortably in my chest and I felt lightheaded. My body was all too happy to comply, but there was too much uncertainty still in Everett's eyes. "I want to, Everett. I really, really want to. But are you sure this is what you want? We can wait until you're more comfortable with the idea, and with me."

"No. Now, Felix. Please."

And how could I say no to that? Besides, we didn't have to seal the bond, necessarily. I would ease Everett into this and I'd stop if it got to be too much for him. And if it never got to be too much... well, that was everything I wanted.

"Okay. Come with me." I tugged Everett off the couch and down the hallway. His bags were piled at the end of the hall. I paused when I saw that, surprised.

"I didn't want to move into your room without talking first," Everett explained when he saw my confusion.

I kissed him, long and hard. When we separated, I said, "You are welcome to every part of my life, Everett. You don't need to ask permission."

Everett smiled softly at me and wound his fingers through my hair.

There was something I wanted to understand before we reached the bedroom, I realized. "Are you attracted to me, Everett?" I asked.

Amusement danced through his eyes – it was a fairly ridiculous question to ask when you'd already decided to go to bed with someone – but the amusement died when he realized I was being serious. Everett looked down, sweeping his gaze over my chest and then lower, his eyes resting on the bulge in my jeans. I almost squirmed with discomfort, but managed to resist the impulse.

"It's been confusing, the way seeing you without a shirt arouses me. Even more confusing is the way kissing you makes me desperate for more. Your every touch is so powerful, Felix. But I don't know what I'm doing here and I'm not good at handling unknowns."

I knew Everett's answer now but couldn't resist teasing him. "So... you are attracted to me."

Everett's cheeks flamed, but this time he didn't shy away. "Yes."

I grinned at him. "I find you incredibly attractive," I told him, just to level the playing field. "I learned after I met you just how poor my imagination is. I used to dream of what it would be like to finally be with my mate, and my dreams were nothing compared to what it's like just to kiss you."

I ran a finger up Everett's spine, making him arch against me. Our chests pressed together for a moment before he relaxed again, wide-eyed.

I was really going to enjoy watching his expressions through this.

Everett's hair was mussed now from my fingers. He was usually so put-together, not a hair out of place, so seeing him like this just made me want him more. I wanted his hair in complete disarray, his clothes rumpled on the floor, his lips swollen from kissing me. I wanted to put my mark on the smooth, perfect skin of his neck, mixing our scents and showing everyone who saw him that he had been claimed.

I wanted all of that with a hunger that gripped at the last vestige of self-control I had.

I grabbed Everett's waist and pulled him off the ground, pressing him against the wall. His legs wrapped around my hips and he ground us together. My canines lengthened and I saw his peeking out from his lips. I kissed him, running a tongue along the sharp, inhuman teeth. I loved that I brought this side of him out, especially since Everett was more human than werewolf most days.

"Bedroom," Everett got out between kisses. I rolled my hips upward, pressing myself against him, and he groaned. I was starting to get dizzy from having so much blood redirected to my arousal – that's the only reason I gave in.

I carried Everett to my bedroom, holding him against me and giving a warning growl when he would have gotten down. I laid him gently on the bed and crawled on top of him, admiring his rumpled form beneath me.

"You're wearing too many clothes," I said.

Everett pushed himself out from under me and took off his shirt before tugging up on mine, making me laugh at his impatience. I had to hand it to him – once he got an idea in his head, he committed to it. I knew Everett was still nervous and uncertain, but he pushed past all that.

"Pants too?" I asked when Everett paused. He nodded and watched as I unbuttoned my jeans, then pulled down the zipper. He watched as I stood for the few seconds it took to pull the material down my legs and kick myself free.

Everett's gaze latched onto my obvious erection, which strained against my boxer briefs toward my mate, who looked intimidated again.

"Your turn," I said softly.

It was dim in my bedroom, but not so dim that I couldn't see his blush deepen. Everett didn't shy away, though. He unhooked his pants and got them over his hips. I tugged them the rest of the way off and paused, just looking at him.

My mate was reclined back against the bed, propped up on his elbows and looking at me with the most heart-wrenching expression. There was lust there, certainly, but also trust and an innocence I hadn't anticipated.

Oh, I knew Everett was a virgin. He told me he hadn't even kissed another person before me and I believed him. But knowing he was an innocent and seeing it on his face... those were very different. I felt a massive need to protect him and didn't know how. He wanted me, and I badly wanted him. We just had to get through this.

I hoped I didn't spoil all of that innocence with what we did today, however far things went.

"What are you waiting for?" Everett asked uncertainly

I smirked and straddled him, rocking against him and creating a beautiful friction that had Everett's eyes fluttering closed in bliss. I did it again, this time eliciting a deep groan from him. I kissed Everett as I rocked again, swallowing the next groan. When I pulled away to nip and suck down his neck, Everett said, "Felix, please."

Had I ever heard anything so beautiful? Everett's hands gripped at my waist, pulling me harder against him when I rocked my hips again. "Please what?" I asked breathlessly.

"More," was all he said, and it lit me up.

I yanked myself away from Everett, holding myself over him and making him focus on me. "Do you trust me?" I asked.

Everett nodded, his hips bucking up in a fruitless attempt to recreate that amazing friction. I held myself out of reach and backed away, drawing a cry of protest from him. How had my nervous mate turned so lustful and pliant?

I knelt on the bed and grabbed the waistband of Everett's boxers, locking eyes with him as I tugged them off. He let me, lifting his hips so they'd slide off easier. I badly wanted to look down, to see every part of my mate for the first time, but I felt like looking away would break the spell that seemed to have fallen over Everett, and I wouldn't risk that.

So I stared right into Everett's eyes as I lowered myself over him, gripped his thighs, and licked up his length. Everett's eyes closed and his hips bucked. I decided that meant I had free reign over him and was happy to take advantage.

I finally looked down and drank in the sight of him. Everett was achingly hard, flushed a beautiful red color that matched the flush on his cheeks and up his neck. I stroked the tip of him, rubbing a thumb over the weeping slit and spreading precum. When I was finished, my hand slid easily up and down his length, making him shiver under me. At irregular intervals, I used my other hand to massage his balls, which made him wild.

"Felix," Everett moaned the third time I did this. "More."

I would never get tired of that word.

I eagerly bent back down and swirled my tongue around the tip of his hard shaft while my hand pumped at the bottom. Everett shivered and gripped at the sheets, which was all the encouragement I needed to suck him into my mouth.

I slid him in as deep as I comfortably could before slowly withdrawing, sucking enough that he left my mouth with a pop. I curled my tongue around his tip before taking him in again, further this time. Everett tried to buck up, but I was prepared for that and held his hips down. I needed to adjust to this before he started pushing himself in deeper.

Everett didn't seem to mind the restriction, though. When I glanced up at him, his eyes were still closed and his head was thrown back. I kept sliding up and down his length, taking him in deeper and deeper until Everett gripped at my hair and said, "I'm going to finish if you keep that up."

A rush of pride swept through me, knowing I could bring my mate pleasure. I released Everett, kissing up his chest, then up his neck. "You don't want to finish?" I asked him.

Everett's fingers traced across my abs, creeping lower and lower as he bit his lip and appeared to consider this. "Not without you," he finally said as his hand brushed against my hard length through the boxer briefs I still wore. Everett's thumbs hooked into the elastic and started tugging them down. I eased them off the rest of the way when Everett couldn't reach anymore.

Uncertainty flickered through Everett's eyes again as he stared up at me, his lip still caught between his teeth. "What happens next is up to you," I told him.

"Keep going," he said in a whisper. "Give me m-more."

I examined him, searching for any trace of uncertainty. I didn't see anything now except nerves. Still, I needed to know exactly what "more" entailed for Everett. "Tell me what you want me to do to you." Everett swallowed nervously and I smiled. "You can have anything," I promised.

"I want everything," Everett said, still whispering. "Mate with me. Make me yours."

I was so hard it hurt. If Everett changed his mind, I'd have to take a cold shower for an hour before I calmed down, I thought. But I didn't think he would change his mind. I reached for my nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube. Everett's eyes grew wide when he saw it and I smiled.

"How much do you know about sex between men?" I asked.

Everett's cheeks flamed again. "I did some research after I met you. I know the basics."

Thank goodness. I did not want to have to explain everything. "Which role do you want to take?"

I hadn't known Everett could get even redder, but there he went. I stroked my hand down his length, hoping to distract him from his embarrassment. I needed to know what he wanted, though. There was no getting around talking about it.

"Would you top?" he asked hesitantly, astonishing me. I'd expected that he would want to take on the traditionally-male role, at least the first time we made love. Everett smiled at my surprise. "I don't know what I'm doing, Felix. Not really. And I, um... I cleaned up inside this afternoon, so there's nothing to worry about there."

I would have sworn my heart stuttered. He really had thought this through. He really did want this. "This is going to be uncomfortable in the beginning," I warned him. "I'll stop anytime if you say the word."

"I won't," Everett assured me.