So I went home to find the apartment empty again. Cassie wasn't there, as it had been more and more common since we returned. She had changed. I had changed. And I had the growing feeling that she was avoiding me. I could have used her warm and sparkling presence to help me overcome the terrible depression that I felt was waiting for me to lower my guard and fall on me mercilessly. It only increased the pain I felt growing, becoming heavier and more oppressive in my chest. A feeling of intense loneliness overwhelmed me, amplified by the exhaustion, pain and sense of injustice that this whole crappy situation had caused me.

The tears, which had so far refused to flow, chose this moment to emerge. I collapsed with my back to the couch, my arms clenched around my chest, a pathetic caricature of a comfort I so desperately needed. I let myself go to grief and finally allowed myself to cry. An hour later, my tears finally dried up. Cassie still hadn't come home and I felt even worse than before. So I allowed myself an evening of self-pity, while promising myself that I would then try to move forward rather than mourn my fate.

In the end, I wasn't quite human but not quite metamorph either. I developed new abilities that had earned me the honour, more than dubious, of being coveted by a kind of mad scientist still at large, and by a psychopathic dictator who wanted to make me his laboratory rat in addition to his hunting dog!

Of course, from that perspective, I'd almost wish I'd died in that damn forest! I had made my choices, good or bad, it was up to me to bear the consequences now, even if I had not yet grasped the full extent of the sacrifices that would be required of me.

I still ended up going to bed but only managed to roll over in my bed, wondering if Jude was very angry with me. But what a silly question, of course he'd be mad at me. Maybe it was for the best after all, since I didn't expect to see him again despite my devastating desire to.

When two long days passed without any news from Jude, I painfully concluded that he had understood the message or that he was too angry to contact me. I didn't know which of the two eventualities bothered me the most. Even if the pain and regret were still there, and would probably remain there for a long time, I knew it was better that way. I was itching to call the community to hear from Feline, but I was too afraid to run into him. It would have been very awkward for both of us, not to mention that I wouldn't have known what to say to him without giving myself away in the process.

I still had to find a way to see the panther. I missed her viscerally, as if a part of me had been ripped out. There were so many unanswered questions left. Like that strange connection we shared. The loss it caused in me increased as the day progressed and I finally decided to wait until nightfall to risk myself in the woods in search of Feline. Which was not the best ever, but the only one I had so far.

Inspector Worth called me that same day in the late afternoon to give me news of the investigation and to tell me to be careful. The latter was at a standstill in the search for Professor Shaw, who had practically disappeared from the face of the earth. He also told me that he was conducting a very discreet investigation into the work of the so-called scientist and that he would keep me and Cassie informed as soon as he knew more. As I was about to hang up, I heard him take a deep breath.

- 'Christina... how about a coffee?' he asked in a soft and hesitant voice.

The surprise kept me quiet. I wasn't expecting that, I didn't know what to say. Spontaneously, I wanted to say "yes". Getting out of that increasingly gloomy apartment now that I was there so often alone and being able to talk to someone who understood what I had been through was more than tempting. Especially since I liked Worth and the idea of seeing him again in a more relaxed setting made me rather happy. On the other hand, I felt like I was betraying Jude. I know, it was stupid, but hey.

-'Are you still there?' the inspector asked.

- 'Yes, excuse me... You just surprised me, that's all. But... why not?' I finally said, not very confident.

- 'It's not the enthusiasm I was hoping for, but I will settle for it!' he replied with a little laugh, which made me laugh gently and shyly.

- 'Is it okay if I pick you up in half an hour?'

- 'Uh... yeah, no problem. I'll see you then,' I stammered uncomfortably.

- 'See you later,' he said, unable to restrain his laughter this time, before hanging up.

I shook my head incredulously, really wondering what I had just done. Just agree to go for a coffee with a good man, whom I appreciated and who had saved my life, nothing catastrophic in short. Then why did I feel like I was doing something stupid? For once, I decided to silence my conscience. I wasn't doing anything wrong after all and a change of scenery would do me good.

It was in this state of mind that I went to the bathroom to make my hair presentable, when the sight of my reflection in the mirror suddenly brought me back to reality, reminding me, with a very clear vigour, of the beating that Charles had given me two days earlier. My bruises, although diminished, were still visible on my face, not to mention my broken fingers, which were not yet fully recovered.

I couldn't afford to meet Worth in this state! I rushed to the living room with the intention of calling him back to postpone our little date until the following week, when I stopped, with my hand on the handset. After all, I thought about talking to him about it after my brutal and forced realization, and there was no way I was going to let that bastard Charles win without a fight. I'll go get that coffee, and given Worth's reaction, I'll see what I can or can't tell him. Giving up on making myself presentable, I simply put on a jacket over my black long-sleeved T-shirt and a pair of high-heeled boots, then brushed my hair and left it loose, just to hide the extent of my bruises a little. The front doorbell rang as I was leaving the bathroom. I quickly checked my watch, if it was Worth, he was ten minutes early.

I froze in the middle of the corridor, suddenly overwhelmed by the unpleasant memory of my brutal kidnapping. I tried to chase away this unfortunate flashback with varying degrees of success and feared one of my terrible and untimely paralyzing anxiety attacks. I didn't really know what caused them, a smell, a sound, a little nothing? Still, it was almost crippling. Cassie had told me, in the rare moments when she was still talking to me, that I was having a classic post-traumatic shock and it couldn't be more normal after everything that had just happened to me and that I should consult. I could just picture it from here!

Finally, I lost only one or two minutes before heading for the door with uncertainty and fear in my stomach. I carefully checked who was behind and could not hold back a sigh of relief when I saw that it was him. This short week of rest seemed to have done him good. Although he still had wounds and bumps, he was no longer covered in blood and looked rested. So I opened the door in a relaxed way, and mechanically threw my hair back.

- 'Hello Christ... What the hell happened to you?' he exclaimed, spreading my hair that had fallen back in front of my face, before touching my cheek with his right hand.

I instinctively withdrew. I had hoped it would take him a little longer to realize that. Oh, my God, I forgot this man had the eye of a lynx and the tenacity of a pit bull! He wouldn't give up until I spilled the beans. The problem was that I didn't yet know what I wanted to tell him or not.

- 'Oh, the usual,' I said nonchalantly as I hurried out of the apartment.

He frowned and looked at me with his suspicious Detective Columbo look.

- 'Let's go get that coffee before that look makes me change my mind and... I'll tell you everything,' I sighed.

He said nothing, just smiled at me, before grabbing my left hand and dragging me down the stairs. This friendly gesture confused me for a moment and hurt me especially when he brushed my wounded fingers. My spontaneous complaint got stuck in my throat when the phone rang in the apartment. I quickly came to my senses and freed my hand from his, preparing to open the door again to answer. Then the inspector's hand gently landed on mine already on the handle.

- 'I'm sorry I hurt you and that my action bothered you, it was purely friendly of me. Why don't you let it ring and we'll have that coffee? I think we have a lot to talk about.'

His sweet and cheerful voice, although a little worried, caused me to hesitate and his beautiful green eyes did the rest. After all, whoever was calling, he or she could leave a message. I needed to leave all this crazy drama behind, even if it was only for a few minutes. I needed the illusion that my life could still be normal, if only for a moment.

So it was by not trusting my instincts, which were yelling at me that this call was important, that I followed the inspector. Reality would catch up with me soon enough...

I had no doubt about that.

End...