"Maybe it was naïve of me.
To fall in love so quickly."
Sarah Doughty

△△△

“I might just permanently move in just so I can be with her all the time” I whispered as Birdie fell asleep in my arms.

“Is that the only reason you want to move in or because you are avoiding John?” I heard her and rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see.

I had been lovingly staring into my nieces eyes for the last half hour and she just ripped me out of the dreamy state by her words.

“Why would you think that I was avoiding John?” I questioned while not letting my smile falter as I stared at little, sleeping Birdie.

I loved being an aunt more than anything in the world, maybe it was because for so long I believed it would be the closest I would get to being a mom.

Being Coco just brought me a happiness I couldn’t describe.

“Because I have seen you decline his calls and this house is not that big, so I would have heard you call him back. What is going on?” She questioned as she took Birdie from my arms and moved down the hallway to lay her down a bit.

I had been thinking a lot about what I wanted to do for the last month since Brie had given birth. I had been staying with her and Bryan to help and be closer to the rest of my family. They had of course asked when they would be seeing John but I tried my best to get out of it even though I knew they would ask again.

Normally they just accepted that he was a busy guy, due to the engagement they wanted to see us together but that wouldn’t be happening. I needed to tell them before I even thought of letting the world know that my heart no longer belonged to John. I just didn’t know when that would be happening.

“I…” I began as she made her way back into the lounge area.

“Please be honest with me. I already feel like we have become disconnected since you returned and then I was pregnant. Both of our lives have changed so much since last year and I hate that it has resulted in us not having enough time for one another” She voiced as she took the seat opposite me on the other side of the couch.

“That’s my fault” I nodded.

“Not really. I get that you had a crazy schedule...” She sighed which had been what I had continuously told her and everyone that asked why I didn’t come home much.

I ran a hand through my hair and briefly glanced at the two dogs sleeping on the other couch before I focused on Brie, “I did, but I have been avoiding you as well and it’s not because I was sad that you were pregnant. I was the happiest and still am to see you welcome motherhood into your world when you have struggled for so long and been disappointed many times before. I am always happy to see you get the things we both want, even if I never got it at times, that would never take away how much joy I feel seeing it show up for you. You are my twin and seeing you happy and experiencing the things you want will always make me happy.”

“It makes me feel good to hear that. I am sorry if I offended you by thinking you were, but it was just a new experience not having you around so much. I didn’t know what to think really, so why were you avoiding me?” She frowned while I remained quiet and she continued. “Because you and John are having problems? I know I can be a pain sometimes, but I don’t mean to be. I never want you to feel like you can’t speak to me about things that happen with him.”

“Its not that I don’t feel comfortable speaking to you, Brie. It’s just that a lot has happened since I returned and not just with my storylines but in my personal life.” I knew I was beating around the bush but how was I going to admit to my other half that the man I had been in love with and believed to be my soulmate I no longer felt that way about.

I felt like a fool for all the family feuds that had happened as a result of my devotion to John and wanting to be with him despite the sacrifices I would have to make. I had stood my ground so many times against them in defense of him.

“I feel like you are dragging it out.” She rolled her eyes.

“Because it’s not something I ever thought I would have to tell you or anyone.” I half groaned.

Maybe it was easier speaking to Baron about it because he hadnt been there over the years so I never felt like I had to pretend and uphold a certain image of John and I. He always took my side and was quite objective with his feedback as well.

“Okay, I get it. What is it though? You have to tell me because it is clearly eating you up alive so you might as well just blurt it…”

“I am no longer in love with John!” I quickly quieted my voice after cutting her off as I remembered there was a sleeping baby in the house. “He knows that and proposed to me as a last effort to keep me but I don’t intend on being with him at all and the reason I brought Allen here last month is because I am in love with him and we are together.” I breath and it actually felt good just to say it instead of the monotone lies I had been dishing out to everyone.

“What?” She whispered.

“You wanted me to rip off the bandaid, there it is.” I wavered wearily.

“That is a lot to digest, Nicole.” Her voice was soft as she stared at me, I could tell she was in shock.

“I...”

“Tell me everything…”

●●●

ALLEN POV

It was weird walking down the hallways at work without having Nicole seated in the cafeteria waiting for me or catching her with Baron. I hadn’t realized how used to seeing her around I had gotten until she was gone, whether we were upset with one another or in a good place I was always looking for her in a crowd.

“Are you also moping because Nikki ain't here?” I saw Baron take a seat at my table as I drank coffee alone.

I chuckled, “You actually admit to missing her? I will have to let her know that”

He rolled his eyes before he gulped down whatever was in his foam cup, “She knows. I don’t know when I am going to see her again, she is with her sister all the time”

“Well her sister did just welcome her niece into the world. You can't be jealous...” I smirked as I was used to him just giving annoyed comments, but he did actually seem sad not to have Nicole around.

I felt the same though because I didn’t know when I would see her in person. I left a few days after the birth of Birdie and since then we hadn't been able to have that many calls because she was around her sister all the time. I was doing my best just trying to be patient because I could feel that the time was near to our lives beginning together.

“I am not jealous. I just don’t like a lot of people around here and then she had to go and take a break. Do you think she will be back?” He asked after glancing around the arena.

“If she is cleared to come back then she will be back. I hope she will be because I know it will destroy her if she can't set foot into that ring. Having her last match be with John proposing at the end of it isn’t the memory I want her to have” I sighed.

“For her or for you?”

“Both” I shrugged honestly. “I have to go over my segment but I will see you at the end of the night”

He nodded while I stood up to leave the cafeteria and threw my cup in the bin, beside the doorway.

I saw John in the hallway and my first instinct was just to turn back so instead I moved forward and greeted him and Mark Carrano before I went on.

It wasn’t the first time I had seen him since the proposal but it was the first time we had acknowledged one another. I probably should have felt some sort of guilt for going behind his back with Nicole but I didn’t feel anything.

“AJ!” I heard him and the guilt I hadn’t felt before slowly surfaced as I hadn’t spoken to him in ages, apart from maybe a group discussion.

I slowly turned around and saw him approaching but didn’t think much of it until he spoke, “Can we go somewhere to talk?”

“About?” I questioned in return.

“You stealing Nicole away from me.” His voice was calm even though the words caught me offguard.

My eyes widened slightly but I simply nodded and followed him to what I assumed was his locker room. If it was common knowledge Baron would have warned me so he somehow knew and chose not to tell anyone.

“Look, John…” I began to try and explain when I had no idea where I was going to go with it.

I knew that the day would be coming soon because I was urging Nicole to tell the world so we could just be together, but I hoped that I would have a heads up.

Nicole hadn’t mentioned speaking to him so I didn’t know  how he knew that it was me. She had been by Brie’s side since I left her and I didn’t see her telling him something like that over the phone.

He didnt seem to be raging or pissed off, he seemed pretty unreadable. “I don’t need any excuses, AJ. I just thought I would let you know that the only reason Nicole even thought to run into your arms is because she believed that I was cheating on her”

“What?” I frowned as he stated it firmly and bluntly when I wasn't even sure where it came from.

His jaw clenched slightly but instead of punching me like I was certain he wanted to do, he shifted towards his locker and picked up his gym bag. “I have no intention of being vengeful. I completely respect her decision but I do believe that you should know that and by the look on your face I can tell that she didn’t tell you anything.”

I remained silent as I tried processing and deciding if I wanted to believe what he had to say or not.