Unlike the last time, Enrique actually fulfilled his promises to me.

I enrolled in a review center and regularly attended the sessions every day. But each time I go home from the review, he's always up to something.

Noong nakaraan ay inilabas niya ang lamesa at inayos ang bakuran para makapag-dinner kami sa labas. He made some pasta and chicken wings. He even decorated the place using Lulu's stuff. I almost cried when I saw him and Chuchay waiting for me by the gate, a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

We also went to Baguio, La Union, and Vigan. Sinagot niya lahat ng gasto kahit na nagpupumilit akong magbayad. He insisted on paying everything, leaving nothing for me to shoulder on our dates.

"Ako ang nag-aya, Avery. Natural lang na ako ang magbabayad..." ang palagi niyang dahilan kapag nakikipagtalo ako pagdating sa gastusin.

"Shocks! Nakalimutan kong magdala ng moisturiser at sunblock..." bulong ko habang hinahalughog ang bag. Enrique heard me and peeked at my stuff.

"Tiningnan mo rin ba ang bag ko? May mga gamit ka dun, eh."

"Oo, tapos na. Wala rin dun. Ugh! Magkaka-sunburn ako nito..."

We were at Davao that time, our first long-distance trip together. He surprised me one night with the tickets and hotel reservation to an island near the city. First time kong makapunta sa Davao kaya naman tuwang-tuwa ako sa naging surpresa niya. I had to take two days off the review center but it was worth it.

"Sige, bibili nalang ako sa labas. Ano pa?"

"What? Come on! You already paid for everything, Enrique. Besides, this is my personal stuff. Nakakahiya!"

"I'll pay for your menstrual pads if I have to, Avery." he said seriously. "Ano pa?"

Hindi na ako nakipagtalo sa kaniya at hinayaan siyang bilhin ang mga kulang ko para sa akin. There's a convenience store nearby, so he went outside of the resort to buy them for me.

From: Tita

Sorry nakakadisturbo ata ako sa bakasyon niyo. Hindi kumakain si Chuchay, nami-miss na ata kayong dalawa.

I bit my lower lip as I stared at the text message from my aunt. It was sent an hour ago. Nagtipa kaagad ako ng reply.

To: Tita

Kumusta po? Kumain na po ba? Minsan gusto niya rin po kasi ng nilagang manok. Huwag niyo lang pong lagyan ng asin, Tita.

From: Tita

Sige, susubukan ko.

I pushed my worries away and tried to enjoy our stay at the resort. Chuchay has separation anxiety and has always been known to lose her appetite whenever she's left with someone else. Kung pwede lang ay dalhin ko siya dito...

Nang makabalik si Enrique ay tapos na akong magbihis. I put on some denim shorts over my bikini. He kept glancing at me while I was applying moisturizer to my face. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"Ano?"

"Ano?" Pagmamaang-maangan nito.

I set down the moisturizer, still staring at him through the mirror in front of me.

"Kanina ka pa nakatingin sa akin..."

He pulled over a black sando shirt and rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's just that..." he glanced over my body once again and swallowed.

"What? Is this your first time seeing me in a bikini?"

He looked away, looking flushed. "It is."

Natigilan ako at napaisip. Oo nga pala. Madalas ay wala siya kapag nagdadagat kami kasama ng mga kaibigan ko. Si Kael o si Ravi ang palaging plus one sa amin kaya ngayon niya lang akong nakita na suot ito.

Lumapit siya sa akin at pinagmasdan ako. It's just a string bikini in red. And I know my cleavage are showing but I have no other swimsuits with me!

"You look hot..." he grinned.

Itinapon ko sa kaniya ang bote ng sunblock para ma-distract ang sarili sa pamumula.

"Tse! Lagyan mo nalang ako ng sunblock sa likuran..."

He chuckled and picked up the bottle. Tumayo ito sa likuran ko at nilagyan ng sunblock ang hindi naabot ng mga kamay ko. I tried not to shiver at his touch, or try not to be aware of how close his body is to me right now. The time ticked slowly as his hand made slow circles in my back and when he was finally done, I realized I've been holding my breath this whole time.

"M-Maligo na tayo! Ang init!" Saad ko kaagad at nagmamadaling lumabas sa room namin.

Para kaming mga batang nagtampisaw sa dagat kinahapunan. It's a weekday, and there aren't any tourists around. Halos na-solo na namin ang buong resort dahil sa dalang ng mga taong naroon.

We dined in an eatery outside that serves balbacua and bulalo. Kumuha din ng barbecue si Enrique at um-order ng dalawang bottled water.

"May pera ka pa ba?" Tanong ko sa kaniya habang nakaupo kami at naghihintay sa order namin.

He chuckled. "How much do you think I received from the academy?"

I shrugged. "Hindi ko alam. Basta alam ko mapera ka, palagi mo akong inililibre, eh!"

He smiled at me. "It's almost a million, actually."

Napabuga ako sa iniinom kong tubig sa sinabi niya. "Talaga?!"

He nodded. "Tinabi ko na ang iba, saka nagbigay na din ako kay Mama."

Tumango naman ako, namamangha pa rin. "Buti naman at may ipon ka na..."

"Actually, it's a downpayment for a house loan."

Tumaas ang kilay ko sa narinig. "House loan? Kumuha ka ng bahay?"

Enrique leaned closer, clasping his hands together at the table. Tumitig siya sa akin. "You wanted a house, right? With a big yard and an attic..."

Nanlaki ulit ang mga mata ko sa narinig. "Enrique! Are you freaking serious?!"

He chuckled softly. "It's a house loan. Dalawang taon ko pang babayaran ang equity bago ma-turn over ang bahay. And it's a military subdivision, so all of your neighbors are most likely military wives. I picked a house model closest to the one you wanted but we could always renovate after we get the key..."

Nanubig ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Here I am, still unsure of what to do with my life once I'm done with the board exams but Enrique is going further and further to reach his dreams and even bought a house!

"Kailangan mo akong pakasalan, ha? May bahay ka na, eh." Biro ko sa kaniya.

He just laughed and kissed me. The server cleared her throat. Padabog nitong inilapag ang order namin at bumulong-bulong pa nang makaalis. Nagtawanan lang kami ni Enrique.

Mas lalong lumalim ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya sa pagdaan ng mga araw. Parang masamang panaginip nalang ang lahat ng mga away namin sa nakaraan.

We were so good when we were together... but when distance tears us apart, we end up sabotaging each other.

Kaya naman sa pagdaan ng mga araw, mas lalo akong nangangamba sa patutunguhan naming dalawa. Enrique assured me that we're going to be fine. Nakayanan nga namin ang apat na taon ng LDR, ito pa kaya?

"Don't cry, Avery, please..." he pleaded when the day came and I had to see him go again.

Pinalis ko kaagad ang mga luha pero hindi ko rin ito mapigilan at mas lalo pa akong naiyak. Isinubsob ko ang mukha sa dibdib ni Enrique. He's bound to Fort Magsaysay for his BOLC training and Scout Ranger Basic Course. Tatlong buwan siya doon bago ang deployment niya. During these three months, they're not allowed to use their phones again so I won't be hearing anything from him.

"M-May isinulat ako..." suminghot-singhot ako at kinuha ang yellow paper mula sa bag ko. "Doon mo na basahin."

Enrique nodded and kissed me softly on the lips. "I love you, Avery."

"Mahal din kita, Enrique..." pumikit ako at hinayaang patuloy na maglandas ang mga luha sa pisngi ko.

He kissed me once again before getting on the bus along with the other cavaliers. Hindi ko na pinanuod ang bus na umalis dahil alam kong mas lalo lang akong mapapaiyak. I immediately got on a cab and went straight to the apartment.

When I got home, Chuchay greeted me weakly. Doon ulit bumuhos ang mga luha ko. Maski si Chuchay, nalulungkot din na aalis ulit siya.

Two hours later, Enrique called me one last time before they entered Fort Magsaysay. He bid goodbye and told me to take care of myself now that I'm all alone. He also said good luck and encouragement for my upcoming board exam.

"I'll see you soon, Avery..." were his last words before the call ended.

The first few days that he was gone, I felt sick and hopeless. Yari must've sensed it because she appeared on my doorstep. She insisted on being with me and helping around the apartment. Salitan sila ni Karlo sa pagbisita sa akin.

Even though I told them that I'm okay and I can manage, they never stopped checking in on me. Unti-unti, bumabalik na ako sa wisyo. I focused on my reviews and tried to get my mind off the time. Minamarkahan ko ang bawat araw na lumilipas kahit na walang kasiguraduhan kung kailan kami magkikita ulit.

At totoo nga ang sabi nila na kapag sobrang saya mo, palaging may kapalit...

"Hindi kumakain si Chuchay, Avery," balita kaagad sa akin ni Yari pagkauwi ko galing ng review center. Karlo is in the living room, crouching in front of her.

Nagtaka na ako pagpasok ko sa gate dahil hindi ako sinalubong ni Chuchay. I immediately went to her. Matamlay niyang ikinawag ang buntot nang makita ako at ipinikit ulit ang mga mata.

"Chuchay?" I stroked her fur, feeling a sudden fear washing over me.

"Dalhin nalang natin sa vet. Wala talaga akong alam dito," suhestiyon naman ni Karlo.

I agreed and went to my room to get some money. Buti at may bukas pang veterinary clinic sa oras na iyon. They took a sample of her blood while we waited anxiously in the lobby.

"Owner po ni Chuchay?"

Tumayo kaagad ako nang tinawag. Binuhat ni Karlo si Chuchay dahil wala na rin itong enerhiya para maglakad pa. He placed her on a stainless table and left me with the veterinarian.

"Her creatinine levels are too high, Miss Perez. The normal creatinine level for dogs is 0.5 to 1.6 milligrams per deciliter. Chuchay is already hitting 5 mg/dL."

Nawalan ng kulay ang mukha ko sa narinig. "A-Ano pong ibig niyong sabihin?"

"It's a stage two Chronic Kidney Disease. We need to do fluid therapy ASAP, just to flush all the toxins out of her body."

The vet went on and explained all the other results in her blood test. My knees were wobbly while listening to her. When she suggested that we admit her in the animal clinic, I refused right away.

"Right, I thought so. We'll still give her an IV and you can take care of her at home. Sundin mo lang ang dosage ng mga gamot niya, kung anong oras at ilang ml sa bawat bigay. Make sure to check on her IV every now and then. Most dogs recover from this, especially when they're at home with their owners taking care of them..."

Tumango ako at nakinig nang mabuti sa instructions niya. I shelled out a lot of money, almost draining my budget for that month but I couldn't care less. Ano ba naman ang iilang araw ng cup noodles para sa alaga ko? And the veterinarian said that she's going to be fine... I know she will.

"Avery, kung may kailangan ka, tawagin mo lang si Karlo, ah? Tapos na ang semester break namin kaya kailangan ko na ding umuwi..." ani Yari ilang araw pagkatapos naming iuwi si Chuchay na may sweryo sa paa niya.

Tumango naman ako. Chuchay has been eating well lately, so the fear slowly evaporated from my chest. I already texted Enrique, even though I know he won't be able to read it.

"Salamat sa tulong mo, Yari..."

"Ikaw pa! Malakas ka sa 'kin, eh." Biro nito at niyakap ako.

The board exam is getting nearer and nearer. Mas nagiging intensive na ang review namin kaya naman pinagbubutihan ko dahil hindi rin biro ang mga gastos ni Tita para dito.

The days went by slowly, while I'm trying to balance everything that's been going on. Umuuwi ako sa tanghali sa apartment dahil kailangan kong bigyan ng gamot si Chuchay. The commute back and forth the review center drained me, but it didn't matter. All I could think about is that she's getting better... or so I thought.

Nang makauwi ako kinahapunan galing sa review center, bigla nalang nangisay si Chuchay. I immediately called the vet and she told me that she's having a seizure. Dali-dali kong ibinalik si Chuchay sa clinic para matingnan nila.

As usual, they took a blood test. She's already calmed down when we got to the clinic and looked confused. Niyakap ko ito nang mahigpit. I assured her that everything's going to be fine. Except it's not.

"Miss Perez, she needs to be admitted to this clinic. 11 mg/dL na ang creatinine niya. The CKD is already at its final stage... stage 5."

Tuluyan na akong naiyak. Money was the reason why I didn't want to admit her into the clinic. We don't have any type of insurance to cover her medical expenses. And with Enrique gone for training, I can't think of anyone to ask for help.

"We'll do the best we can, Miss Perez. You can visit her every day, bring her favorite blanket or toy."

Hinayaan kong i-admit nila si Chuchay kahit na miski downpayment ay wala akong maipambayad sa kanila. I walked back to the apartment. I was hungry and tired and the board exam is three days away.

"Pasensiya na, Karlo, pero pwede mo ba akong pahiramin ng pera? Admitted na si Chuchay sa clinic. Stage five na daw ang CKD niya..."

"Takte, umiiyak ka ba?" Nagpapanic na tanong ni Karlo sa kabilang linya. Naririnig na ata niya ang mga hikbi ko. I couldn't even find anything to eat in the apartment when I arrived home so I just rested for a bit and started calling my friends for help.

"Natatakot lang ako..." I admitted.

"Kahit huwag mo nang bayaran!" Untag niya. "Magkano ba yan? It-transfer ko sa bangko mo. Send mo sa akin ang account number mo."

I thanked him and reminded that it's a debt that I'll pay back someday. Naubos ko na ang allowance ko sa unang sugod ni Chuchay sa clinic at ngayon naman ay tumatakbo ang bill niya habang nasa loob ng clinic.

From: Pet Paws Animal Clinic

Good evening, Miss Perez. Quick update lang po kay Chuchay. Restful po siya ngayong gabi. Hindi niya ginalaw ang pagkain kaya nag-force feed na kami. Able to swallow naman. Hindi pa rin po nakakabawas. We will observe until tomorrow morning, and then we'll attach a catheter to her if walang progress.

Mas lalo lang akong nanlumo sa nabasang update mula sa clinic. Now that I'm completely alone in this apartment, I feel scared and depressed. Everywhere I looked, I kept expecting Chuchay to come bouncing at me with a happy face. I don't even have the liberty to go out and escape, even just for a little while... I still have my board exam and financial problems to face.

"Hi, Chuchay!" Masigla kong bati kinabukasan. I visited her first thing in the morning, before going to the review center.

Karlo wired me some money so I was able to pay for her downpayment. I tried to hide my surprise when they showed me her bill. Isang gabi pa lang siya rito pero ang laki na ng babayaran ko.

"Ma'am, hindi po yan tumatayo. Ngayon ko lang nakitang tumayo si Chuchay pagdating niyo..." puna sa akin ng isa sa mga staff.

I smiled at her. Chuchay sniffed me and wagged her tail softly. Ang sakit-sakit na nakikita ko siya sa ganitong kalagayan pero wala man lang akong magawa. After twenty minutes of playing with her, I left the clinic and went to the review center.

From: Pet Paws Animal Clinic

Good evening, Miss Perez. Nag-attach na po ng catheter si doc kay Chuchay. Nag-seizure din po at sumuka ngayong gabi. Hindi pa rin kumakain. Restful lang po siya.

From: Pet Paws Animal Clinic

Yung ihi po ni Chuchay, Ma'am may halong kaunting blood then cloudy rin po. Sa ngayon po, naga-head tilting na rin po si Chuchay.

Paulit-ulit kong tiningnan ang huling text ko kay Enrique, umaasang magkakahimala at pagagamitin sila ng cellphone ng mga officers nila. But who am I kidding? I already know that he's not allowed to use his phone until the end of the month. The three months that he's been gone felt like three years with everything that happened.

I visited Chuchay every morning and made sure that she didn't think I abandoned her in that place. Most of the time, she'll be just sleeping. Kahit na lagpas na ang visiting time ko ay hinahayaan naman ako ng staff ng clinic na magtagal sa loob ng ward nila.

On the day of my board exam, I was so anxious. Hindi ako makakabisita ngayong umaga dahil kailangan kong agahan sa testing center. The Psychometrician Licensure Exam is the last hurdle that I had to overcome before I'm allowed to practice my degree in various fields of psychology.

But as soon as I stepped out of the apartment, I received a text from the clinic once again.

From: Paw Prints Animal Clinic

Emergency update po kay Chuchay, nag-arrest po siya ngayon and nag-seizure po. Hindi na rin po normal and breathing niya.

From: Paw Prints Animal Clinic

Please come to the clinic. Anytime po baka ma-expire na po siya.

From: Paw Prints Animal Clinic

Sorry to inform po na expired na po si Chuchay...

I finally broke down upon reading the last text message sent to me.