Faith's POV

"The place is just around the corner."

"Uh-hun..."

Okay here we go, B and I doing the slaying thing. Getting back to the routine of what we enjoy. It's gonna be great. The two of us back to back, fists flying, vamps dusting, everything a girl could want for a romantic day out. I should try to make conversation or something.

"Your mom was kinda harsh earlier don't you think?"

"Yeah well she can be that way sometimes."

"She's never been that way with me. She's always been really nice to me."

"You're not her daughter."

"No, I'm not. Felt like it though, when you were... you know. She took care of me like I was part of her... part of your family. It felt like I had a real mother, which is weird cause I never really had a real mother in the traditional sense. She was too busy passing out and overdosing on ecstasy to be any kind of mother."

I suddenly notice Buffy isn't paying any attention to me. She stops and turns to me, pointing at one of the buildings.

"Is that it?"

I look at the boarded up house.

No direct sunlight, abandoned type décor, on the right street.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure that's the place."

"Fine, let's go."

She starts walking to the house with purpose and I follow.

"Hey uh, I'm all for rushing in half-cocked and all, but don't you wanna, I dunno, have a plan or something?"

"Nope."

Okay...

We walk up to the front door and she kicks it in. We go in as the sounds of vampires scattering make me smile.

"Rise and shine people..."

I look at Buffy to finish the line. She just rolls her eyes at me.

Aww it's no fun if she doesn't play along.

A couple of vamps come at us.

Okay, time for some good old fashion therapeutic violence.

I hit the vamp in the mouth as he comes at me and he wobbles a bit on his feet. I spin around for a roundhouse kick which takes him off his feet long enough for a second vamp to attack me. I block a triad of punches, catching the third one to twist it behind his back.

I look at B who seems to be handling two vamps pretty well.

"Looks like you haven't lost your touch B."

I kick my vamp hostage in the ass and he crashes into a third vamp coming my way as the first one gets up.

"Yeah, good to know being dead doesn't take the edge off."

Was that a joke? I haven't heard her crack a joke since... Ow!

A vamp clocks me in the face from the side, knocking me down.

Damn it...

I throw my leg out to sweep his legs out from under him. I crawl over and stake him quickly as the first vamp regroups and comes at me. I kick him in the gut, making him stumble long enough for me to get up, spin around and stake him. A couple of vamps get dusty from Buffy's violent outbursts as I look around for any more vamps.

Two of them make it out the other side of the house, blankets over them to avoid daylight. All of the sudden Buffy comes at me, fist drawn back. She hits me in the jaw and as I stumble back I see her punch a vampire beside me.

Ow! Why the hell did she...?

She stakes the vamp and looks around for other vamps to take on.

"Looks like we got 'em all."

I rub my jaw.

I think she used a good dose of her slayer strength in that punch.

"Well yeah but..."

"Good, then we're done. I'm outta here."

She leaves the house and after a second it clues into me to follow her out.

She hit me, I'm not just gonna let that go.

"Whoa, hold up B, we gotta talk."

She doesn't even stop or look at me when she speaks.

"About what?"

About what? Which fight was she at?

"About what just happened back there?"

"What about it? Vamps are dust, we cleaned the nest out."

"Yeah but what about the rest?"

"The rest?"

"You know the part where you socked me in the mouth?"

"Again I say, what about it?"

I grab her arm and stop her. She finally looks at me.

"B, you hit me."

"So what?"

"So we have to talk about it."

"I've hit you plenty of times before and we never talked about it. What's the diff?"

"There's a big difference B. For one thing you didn't have to hit me to get to that vamp. You could've said duck, or look out or something."

She starts walking again.

"There wasn't time."

Wasn't time?

I put myself right in her way to stop her from leaving.

"Don't give me that crap. There was loads of time for me to do something you just didn't want me to."

"What? That's crazy."

No, actually it's starting to make sense.

"Why would I wanna hit you on purpose?"

"I don't know B. Why don't you tell me?"

"No, I'm not listening to this."

She tries to get past me but I stop her.

"And what's with this whole bailing at the first chance you get thing you're doing? God knows you hated when I did it all the time. I don't see why you think I would like it."

"Faith I have better things to do."

Again she tries to get away and I have to grab her by the shoulders to stop her.

"Talk to me B. Lemme know what's going on."

She pushes my hands away.

"Why? Why should I? It doesn't make any difference."

"It does. It does make a difference because I love you. I love you and I wanna help."

"God you just, you don't get it do you?"

"I want to. I want to get it, but I'm only getting half the story. I need you to tell me the rest. I love you B."

"Okay could you... could you possibly get over yourself? Just for a second, and stop telling me how much you love me."

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't mean anything. This great incredible love you keep talking about? The one that changed you? That made you a better person? It doesn't matter."

What is she talking about?

"What do you mean? It does matter."

"No, it doesn't. No matter how much we feel. No matter how much we might wanna be together, it doesn't matter."

She turns away, frustrated.

"Why not?"

She punches me in the face, knocking me down.

"BECAUSE I WAS HAPPY!"

What?

"I... what do you...? I..."

"Yeah, I was happy. Wherever I... was... wherever I, went when I was... I was happy."

She was... happy?

"Oh god..."

I start to pick myself up off the ground.

"Do you feel better now? Now that I've told you the other side of the story? I was dead, and alone, and happy. Completely and utterly happy. I was warm and safe and surrounded by pure joy. And now I'm not."

I feel like I'm gonna cry, or throw up maybe.

"Now I'm cold, and hurting, and I feel like I'm gonna cry, all the time. And you wanna know why?"

Tears start pouring out of me.

"Ask me..."

I... I don't...

"Buffy I..."

She grabs me and shakes me.

"Come on, ask me why."

"W-Why?"

"Because of you!"

She shoves me hard and I almost collapse.

"Isn't that it? I'm back because of you, aren't I?"

"I... y-yes I'm..."

"It's all your fault isn't it?"

"Buffy I'm... I..."

She shoves me twice as hard as before.

"It's your fault. Say it..."

My knees get weak and she grabs me by the collar to look me in the eyes.

"B-Buffy..."

"I wanna hear you SAY IT!"

"It's m-my fault."

She lets go of me and I fall on my knees, trying to hold back the tears that I can't seem to stop.

"Yeah, it is."

I look up at her, a cold stare looking back at me.

"You get it now? Have you figured out why even the thought of looking at you makes me wish I was dead, again?"

"It's all my fault..."

I wipe away the tears in my eyes but that only makes me cry harder.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry. Wow! That makes everything all better doesn't it? You're sorry. Thanks SO much."

"Buffy..."

I reach out to touch her but she backs out of reach.

"Don't, touch me. If you touch me again, I'll kill you."

I... I have to make this better.

"Buffy... tell me how to make things better."

I pull myself to my feet.

"You can't. Not unless you wanna kill me."

I lower my eyes in defeat.

"I didn't think so. Stay away from me."

She walks past me and leaves.

"Buffy wait!"

She doesn't stop.

But then I wouldn't expect her to, after what I've done to her. She was happy. She was happy and I took that from her. How could I do that to her? I took away pure happiness and joy. God I, I have to... something has to be done. I have to talk to... someone. They have to know what I did.