Prologue

Pagkalampas sa pintuan ay agad akong dumiretso sa pamilyar na istante. Maraming hilera ng bulaklak na iba't iba ang kulay at laki ang agad sumalubong sa paningin ko.
The bright sunflower caught my attention making me smile as it reminds me of someone special.

"Hello Sir, sunflower po ulit?" tanong ng isa sa staff ng flower shop na pamilyar na sa akin. I'm their regular customer, that's why.

"Yes please, the usual." sagot ko na tinugon niya ng ngiti at tsaka nakakaunawang tumango.

Later on, she get the flowers needed for the boquet and arrange it beautifully.
She glance at me once again while putting the last piece of sunflower to complete the arrangement.

"Ready to go na, Sir. Heto na po." anunsyo niya tsaka kinuha ang maliit na card na kasamang ilalagay sa boquet.
"Iyon po ba ulit ang isusulat?" tanong niya na tinugon ko na lang ng tango.

She place the small card inside the boquet and warmly smile. Nang mabayaran at makuha ang bulaklak ay maingat ko na 'yong dinala sa sasakyan bago nagdesisyon na puntahan ang pagbibigyan ko nito.

Her charming smile invade my mind again making my chest throbbed. I miss her, badly.

I start the engine and already on my way to her when my phone rings. Inihimpil ko muna sa gilid ng kalsada ang kotse tsaka ko iyon sinagot.

"Hello love? Can you pick up the kids? May aberya kasi rito sa shop kaya hindi ko sila masusundo", sagot ng nasa kabilang linya sa tila nagmamadaling boses.

"Uh, alright then. Ako na ang bahala," Instinctively, I glance at the flowers on the backseat while answering the caller's favor.

"Oh, thank you love. Be careful, okay? I love you.." then she ended it.

Nang maibaba ko ang cellphone ay agad kong inilipat ang bulaklak sa katabi kong upuan. It swayed causing the card to fall on the floor so when I get it, the letter written on it caught me.

It says:
"Good day my sunshine, I miss your smile. I still love you.. always."

Hindi maiwasang mapa-buntong hininga ay nagpasya na akong i-start ang makina ng kotse. My kids might get impatient if I arrived late on fetching them.
With my head still feels heavy, I maneuver the car and drive towards a quite known middle school of the town.

My son seems pissed off when I came while my princess whine happily then wave her hands. As I walked towards them, I can hear how she argue with her brother.

"See? Nandyan na si papa! He won't ditch us just like what you said earlier noh," mataray na sabi nito sa kuya niya bago tumakbo palapit sa akin.

"I'm tired, mauna na po ako.." matamlay na bati naman ni Ash bago ako nilampasan. Nauna na syang sumakay sa kotse.

"Don't worry about him papa, gloomy naman lagi si kuya.." Alex tried to cheer me up then hold my hands.
She's really a sweet child, malambing sya gaya ng Mama niya.

"Tara na po? Gusto ko na rin mag-rest," dugtong pa niya at tsaka ako hinila papunta sa sasakyan.

As I drive home, Ash remain quiet. Wala namang bago roon dahil tahimik talaga syang bata. He usually lock himself inside his room and play online games while his sister; Alex is his complete opposite.
Alex is an adorable kid, she's clingy and sweet. Kahit tuloy magkapatid sila ay napakalaki ng pinagkaiba ng ugali nila. They were like South and North pole.

"Papa? You have flowers for mom?" she curiously asked when she noticed the flowers at the shotgun seat.

"Uh.. it's for someone else, baby." I timidly replied making Ash snorts.

"Someone else, huh?" he commented while looking at me on the rearview mirror.

"Hindi n'yo pa maiintindihan. I'll explain everything when both of you can absorb it already."
Bata pa sila para maunawaan lahat. Alex just turned seven while Ash is nine.

"Okay~" Alex then smile and just continue doing her origami. Nitong nakaraan kasi ay iyon ang madalas niyang pagkaabalahan.
While on the other side, Ash seems serious and unconvinced with what I said. May alam ba sya?

Yesterday, my day with Les was postponed as I needed to fetch my kids. Kaya naman ngayon ko na lang sya pinuntahan.
I'm  with her right now and I already gave her the flowers. The surrounding was too silent that all I can feel was the loud beating of my heart.

"Hi Les, I'm sorry that it took me so long to visit you. Hwag ka ng magtampo, please.." I hold her but she remain quiet.

"Sana hwag kang magalit. I'm trying, I'm still trying. Pero ikaw pa rin kasi, alam mo naman 'yon diba?" my voice crack as I tried to suppress my sobs.

"It's selfish but.. I just hope we're still together. I am willing to give up everything just so I could be with you again," my tears continue to flow while gasping for air.

My words echoes inside my head as I remember the smiling innocent face of Ash and Alex. Instantly, my conscience ate me whole.

'Give up everything?'
No, hindi. I love my kids. Hindi ko sila kayang isuko.

With a chaotic mind, I just decided to leave and went home. Wala naman na ring kwenta, I can no longer bring back the things from how it really was.

"Good evening, love. Kumain ka na? You're early," my wife greeted me as she welcome me home with a hug.
Malambing niya rin akong hinalikan bago kuhanin ang dala kong gamit.

"You're tired? Ang lamya mo.." puna pa niya at tsaka masuyong sinapo ang aking mukha.
"May problema ba?" she asked in a worried tone while meeting my gaze.

"Okay lang ako, ang mga bata? Tulog na ba?"

"Nasa kwarto na nila, I'm not sure if they're sleeping by now. Maaga pa naman kasi." she explain as she set herself aside after letting me go.
Naupo sya sa couch habang hindi ko naman alam kung didiretso na ba ako sa kwarto namin. I'm physically tired and emotionally drained. Hindi ako makapag-isip ng matino at iniiwasan ko lang na baka magtalo kami.
She sounded suspicious.

"Magpapahinga na ako," paalam ko na lang bago ko sya masuyong hinalikan sa pisngi.
I can see how she keep her emotions intact as she bite her lip to avoid crying. Alam ko naman. I know that she knew it, hindi sya manhid.

Nang nasa hagdan na ako at lingunin sya ay pansin ko ang panginginig ng balikat niya. Umiiyak na naman sya dahil sa paulit-ulit na rason.

I love my wife but.. I love her more.