Lies held me.

Hostage.

Chained me to illusions.

Of things I wish were.

I weep and scream,

Cling to sheets.

Toss, turn and move vigorously.

Mr. Darcy, wakes me.

From those night terrors.

With a kiss on my forehead,

That erases the wrinkles,

Which seem to age me tonight.

Blurred visions and blurred lines,

Distorted realities,

Chimera of Mr. Darcy.

Turns to Mr. Wickham?

His laughs echo my nightmares.

Frames shift, changing too quick.

Time stills, freezes.

When I see you; comfort and security.

Sigh that brings in hurricanes.

I clench my pillow and moan.

Mumble a prayer, inaudible.

Open my eyes, wide awake.

I don't want to sleep with you.

But wake up to you.

And, honey.

You're gone again.

You can never learn to love,

Parts of me that aren't fixable.

Shall play monkey to your drums.

Until I amuse you.

Because,

You leave a part of me alone.

it will gaze at you,

from under its long lashes,

in the shadows of insecurity and anxiety.