Trigger warning: Includes religious views of the speaker that might be offensive to some, solely meant as a piece of art, the poet doesn't subscribe to the views portrayed here

***

Forgive me Father for I have sinned,
It has been 20 years since my last confession,
I accuse you of the following sins.

Lord, I am here to sin and ask forgiveness.
Father, I am here to defame and blame.
You.
You are the one at fault.

Dear God,
Why did you make my grandfather forget?
He's laying there in blue robes,
Screams and shrieks at everyone.
We ask him to change his clothes,
He urinates in them to spite us.
We beg him to take his pills,
Only to find them in the bin.
When I asked him, "Why?"
He crossed at his heart, said,
"It is the act of God."

Dear God,
Why do you hurt my grams?
She's so lovely and nice,
Baking cookies and blue cakes,
But with tears cascading down,
To her trembling pink lips,
On which she expects gramps' kiss.
He died, so she's dying.
When I asked her, "Why?"
She crossed at his heart, said,
"It is the act of God."

Dear God,
Mother wore cotton shirts, long skirts.
Prayed until her lips swoll,
Lit candles at the altar every Sunday,
Why were her pink cheeks coloured?
Violets and blacks don't suit her eyes.
Swallowed father's bullets every night,
Her throat was filled with pills.
When I asked her, "Why?"
She crossed at his heart, said,
"It is the act of God."

Dear God,
A man drenched in cheap alcohol,
Pushed me to bed when I was 14,
Father, they call him.
Mother sobbed outside at the door,
Taming my screams and pleas,
Leaving my soul to get tarnished,
I run out later to hug her,
When I asked her, "Why?"
She crossed at his heart, said,
"It is the act of God."

Dear God,
He stiched my lip so that I would count my teeth,
I did it nonetheless but with my tongue.
Until Gus came and breathed my soul back.
You took away my Gus with cancer.
My firefly on a moon less night.
Who kissed my crimson scars,
What is this 'act of god?' I demand.
In the name of religion,
Tell me; please.
I might in fact, die.
In the middle of a sentence.

Lord,
I refuse to be an after thought.
Doors of your home aren't welcoming,
Thanatos awaits with a smile,
I don't want to be the act of god,
This won't be my action of dying.
Lucifer is playing ball in the backyard,
I'm gonna make him my friend.
And, he presented me with a box;
Pandora's box.
Hope's locked up, so goodbye.