I can't believe I just kissed my math tutor. Again. But I loved it.

Hazel releases me, biting her lip as she moves away. "Um. Goodnight." She says.

Still shocked at what just occurred, I watch her get off the couch and walk toward hers. I realize I still haven't said anything.

"Goodnight," I say.

She stops, glances at me, then sits on the couch and pulls the blanket over herself.

Sighing, I cover myself with my blanket. I don't know what to think about tonight. I obviously enjoyed the kiss, but I don't know what it means. And I'm scared of what Hazel may have thought about it.

I don't really understand Hazel, nor can I ever tell what she's thinking. But what is best right now is to just sleep on it. Maybe we'll all feel differently in the morning.

It seems to me that Hazel's been occupying my mind a lot recently. Maybe it's because she's such a good tutor. Or maybe I'm somehow unfortunately developing feelings for her.

I mean, we did kiss, right?

But a kiss doesn't mean the person likes you, and it certainly doesn't mean you should expect anything to happen between the two of you.

This is too hard. I should just forget about it.

~~~

The next morning, I woke up and immediately checked the couch Hazel had been sleeping on. But she was gone, and the blanket she had been using lay in a lump at the edge of the couch.

Feeling confused, I check Emilia's couch too but notice her light hair sticking out from underneath the blanket. 

Then I hear a shriek. 

"Who did this?!" The person yells. It sounds distant as if it's from upstairs.

There's a rumbling noise as the person runs down the stairs. 

"Hey, I'm sure you forgot to remove your makeup before bed." Another voice argues.

I smile to myself. So this is about our little scheme last night. The voices come closer, and I hear Emilia start to wake up. I do the same, slowly rising into a sitting position and blinking like it's the first time I'm opening my eyes.

Emilia rubs her eyes, hair half falling out of its bun. "What is going on?" Then she blinks and glances at the two girls standing behind the couch. 

Upon seeing Leah, she visibly jerks her head backward in shock. "Oh, my God."

I look too, but I don't have to fake my shock because I am genuinely appalled. Leah's "makeover" looks worse than before, probably because she slept on it, and we can now see it in proper lighting.

"Oh, Gosh," I say. "That is bad."

Leah squints, her eyes moving from me to Emilia. "Which one of you did this?"

Maddie, next to her, touches her arm. "Leah, it's not any of them. They just woke up."

Leah continues to stare at us before sighing defeatedly and turning away. 

Swinging my legs over the couch, I stand up. I make my way to the guest bathroom, aiming to be the first to get ready and have the first pick on breakfast. But when I get there, the door is closed, and before I reach for the handle, it opens by itself. There stands Hazel, a hairbrush in one hand and the side of the door in the other, her cheeks slightly pink. 

"Good morning," I say after a beat of silence. I feel a bit weird seeing Hazel right after she woke up because it's highly unprofessional. She looks perfect, though. As she always does.

She blinks. "Um, good morning." She says. Then she passes me. I run a quick hand through my hair, then shake my head and enter the bathroom. At Leah's house, I have doubles of everything bathroom-related, including a toothbrush, a few clothes, and a pair of slippers her mom got me for my birthday.

Brushing my teeth, I look in the mirror and stare at myself. I look a little crazy with my messy hair, and I flush in embarrassment at Hazel having to see that. 

Before leaving the bathroom, I pull on the jeans I wore yesterday and a hockey sweatshirt I got from a trip to Canada. Feeling fully refreshed, I let down my hair and leave.

Maddie got us pancakes, eggs, and bacon for breakfast, but I would have preferred it home-cooked.

Leah is already at the dining room table and seems to have wiped off her "makeup."

I grin and approach her. "Lovely seeing you up so early."

She frowns. "I would have slept in, but someone vandalized my face."

I shrug. "I agree with Maddie. I think you just forgot to take it off."

"I have never been that bad at makeup."

I shrug again. "Pre-shower makeup."

She rolls her eyes. "Good gosh."

Deciding that it's in my best interest not to answer, I put my hands on the counter and lean back on it.

We hear the garage door opening, and Leah claps once, then moves away from the counter. "I think Maddie's back. I'm starving."

Pretty soon, everyone is sitting at the dining table, and Leah is questioning everyone, trying to figure out who did her makeup last night.

Maddie sets a plastic bag full of styrofoam containers on the table, and I look at it hungrily. Since I'm sitting the closest to her, I reach for the bag.

"Hey!" Maddie says. I pull my hand back, furrowing my brows. "No touching. We're getting plates and utensils first, like normal people."

Emilia snickers next to me, and Leah joins in from across the table. 

"Come on, we're starving," I argue. But I give in and help pass out the plates.

With my plate piled high with quite literally everything, I dig in. 

"Guess what coach said?" Emilia says.

"What?" Leah asks.

"Eliora's quitting the team."

"What? Why?" says Maddie.

My mouth is full of pancakes because I had been stuffing my face.

"She said she just decided she didn't want to do it anymore. Which is weird, because she's only a freshman."

I swallow my food. "Who's Eliora?"

"The freshman girl on our team. She's in junior varsity. Or she was, anyway." Emilia explains.

"You don't know her. I only know her because I showed her around on the first day and convinced her to join the team." Maddie says.

"Ah," I say, and stuff more food into my mouth.

Leah turns. "That means we need another player, right?" She asks, and they nod. "Would you be willing to try out?"

It takes a second for my brain to register that she's talking to Hazel, and I look up. Hazel looks embarrassed to be put on the spot, and her fork hovers over her plate.

"Uh . . ."

"You don't have to be good, or anything. You'll automatically get in because we don't have enough players for junior varsity." Leah adds.

"I don't . . . I don't play sports." Hazel says. 

"Baloney!" Maddie says. "Anyone can play sports. The JV team would be perfect for you. I'll just talk to Coach."

"No, it's not that I don't want to. I just never have the time," Hazel explains.

Of course. Because she has to take care of her little brother while her addict of a mother does whatever the hell she wants.

But of course, neither Maddie nor Emilia knows that. 

Maddie squints at her. "What are you so busy doing?"

Hazel looks uncomfortable, and her eyes lock onto mine. Then she looks down at her plate.

"I have someone I think might be interested," I say, changing the subject.

"And who might that be?"

I tell them about a random girl I overheard talking in Spanish class about how she wanted to play soccer.

After breakfast, Hazel has to leave right away. We bid her goodbye and she thanks Leah for inviting her, and then she goes. 

~~~

It's been two weeks, and Hazel and I still haven't exchanged more than a few words. I don't want it to be awkward again, but I know Hazel won't initiate a conversation. So I try to get her talking because I still require tutoring for math, and I can't do that if she's avoiding me.

She seems to have much more time on her hands, and I see her after school at least three times a week. 

I catch her on a random Wednesday as she's leaving the school.

"So what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" I ask her. She's wearing light blue wide-leg jeans and a cute cream-colored sweater. Clutching a textbook to her chest, she stiffens when she sees me.

"Nothing." She says simply. She barely looks at me.

"How can you not do anything? Don't you have any relatives?" I press. Her hair is pulled back into a braid, and it looks beautiful. Like she always does.

"Not that I know of." Her tone is flat, and I begin to feel irritated. 

"What? That's crazy." I say.

"I have to go."

She's being weird again and I don't know what to do. It's not like I can apologize anymore, because she asked me to kiss her.

"Okay," I say, sighing defeatedly. "Where are you going?"

"The Cozy Bean Haven." She says. The confusion must be showing on my face, because she explains, "To study."

"Oh, cool. Can I come too?" I ask. 

She looks annoyed, her cheeks pink from the wind and the cold. "Do whatever you want. I don't care." Then she turns on her heel and begins walking away, signifying the end of the conversation.

I walk after her and soon catch up. She's so strange. I know her life at home isn't the best, but would it hurt to communicate?

Then I remember what Leah said about letting her talk and that I should listen.

"Hazel," I say, trying to match her walking speed. "I'm sorry for whatever I did."

I glance at her, and her annoyed expression intensifies. She still doesn't look at me.

"God, Casey." She mumbles.

Cars pass by us as we walk briskly on the sidewalk. 

"Why are you doing this?" I ask.

"I'm not doing anything." She says. By now we've reached the cafe, and she opens the door and enters. 

"Hazel, I don't get you. One minute we're getting along and the next you're mad about something but you deny it."

She doesn't answer, and the door starts to close but I catch it with my hand. 

"Is this about the sleepover?" I ask.

She looks to her left, making the answer obvious. Hazel joins the short line to order.

"Why did you even ask me to kiss you if you're just going to be weird about it?" I say, walking up behind her.

Hazel's gaze snaps to mine. "Will you keep it down?"

I squint at her but lower my voice anyway. "Will you stop being weird?"

She rolls her eyes as the line moves, and it's her turn to order. 

"I'll have a pumpkin cream cold brew." She tells the guy at the counter.

He taps on the screen in front of him, then asks her the name for her order. She tells him, and then she's done. The barista looks at me expectantly.

"Oh, I'll just have a croissant and a water," I say.

"Sure, that will be five-fifty."

I swipe my card, then I look for Hazel. Spotting her putting her backpack on the floor next to a table, I approach her.

"So?" I say when I reach her. "Are you going to talk to me?"

"No. Just forget about it." She says. Sitting down, she pulls a notebook out of her backpack.

I put my backpack down as well, taking the seat across from her. "I'm not going to forget about it."

The barista calls out her name, and she gets up to retrieve her drink. When she returns and sees me still sitting there, she frowns.

"You are so annoying." She says, sitting down and bringing the drink to her lips.

"You're a nutcase." I retort without thinking.

Her brows furrow, and she looks pissed. 

"What did you just call me?" She pulls the drink away from her mouth and slams it on the table so hard that some of the whipped cream flies out of the cup and lands just above my top lip. 

I just stare at her, shocked, for a few seconds while she looks embarrassed.

Then, keeping my gaze on her, I stick my tongue out and lick away the cream. She watches me, her cheeks bright pink and her eyes wide. I chuckle as my lips curve into a smile, which she returns, and then she looks away. The tension between us almost disappears.

"I'm sorry." She says.

I sigh. "I'm sorry too."

Slight confusion washes over her features, and I explain. "For pressuring you into thinking you had to kiss me. I realize it's my fault. But it's okay, we're even now."

Hazel squints at me. "What are you even talking about?"

"You were emotional, and I get it. I was too."

All she does is blink. She stares at me, brows knitted together for so long that I think she may no longer be conscious.

Then she sucks in a breath and blinks rapidly. "Let's just forget about this, okay?" she says, taking her eyes off mine and unwrapping a plastic straw.

"Okay," I say. She puts the straw through the lid of her drink and then pulls a stack of notecards out of her backpack. 

This is good. This means things will go back to normal. 

I should be content, but I'm not. The tension only returns, and I'm left feeling kind of numb. I find myself staring a little too long as she brings the cup to her mouth again, pursing her lips and putting them around the straw. 

Something in my chest twists and I chew on my lip.

Shrugging the feeling off, I pull out my chemistry homework.

A/N:

Long chapter again.

Thank you so much to the people who take the time to read, vote, and comment. It really warms my heart and is a huge motivation for me to write more often!

Don't forget to VOTE!

<3