GROUPCHAT
SAGE AND HER SUGAR BABIES

sage
guess who's blackmailing edmund nott
well, technically, we're blackmailing each other

lily
you scare the shit out of me, sage

james
right on, sagey
how are you blackmailing him, though?

sage
so you know emma vanity?
and how she's married to lewis mulciber?
well
emma and nott are having an affair, which resulted in a baby
and natalia doesn't know
neither does mulciber
so when he threatened to tell the DE that i'm part of the order, i threatened to tell natalia that he had a secret love child with emma.

sirius
you're so evil
it's hot

remus
nasty

rowan
the BITE MARKS on maia's neck prove that you're nasty, too, mister lupin

maia
RO
SHUT UP

charlotte
NO WAY
YOU BIT HER, MOONY?
pervert

james
wait, you bit her?
like, BIT her bit her?

remus
no, not like that
just a nibble

maia
CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS

sage
maia you're a slag
and that's alright

maia
DON'T SL*T SHAME ME

lily
stop censoring words maia
we're all 20+
no need to be sensible

rowan
can we backtrack to the fact that nott had a SECRET LOVE CHILD

james
no we've got to continue chatting about remus and maia's sex life
it's far more interesting than mine

sirius
oh, godric. you've really fucked up, mate

lily
james fleamont potter, YOU try pushing a 9 pound baby out of your vagina and get a THIRD DEGREE TEAR and then see if you want to have sex not even three months after
i swear if it weren't for harry, i'd leave you

maia
you tell him girl

james
so so so sorry, my dearest lily flower
i love you more than life itself

lily
shut up
what are we doing for sage's birthday

sage
nothing.
i've got plans to dress harry and madeleine up in matching dementor costumes.

sirius
i thought we agreed on little baby gryffindor quidditch players?

sage
why would we dress two future slytherins up as gryffindors?

james
MY SON WILL NOT BE A SLYTHERIN

sage
if i raise him right, he will be

lily
james, we'll love him no matter what house he ends up in

sage
i'll only love him if he's in slytherin
hold on, someone's at my door

sirius
it's me
let the love of your life in, please

sage
no

sirius
baby it's raining
and i'm cold

sage
unfortunate.

marlene
leave dog boy out in the rain, sagey
he deserves it

rowan
so, we all know about the furry little problem and the boys' fursonas, right?

maia
what's a fursona?

charlotte
no one tell her.
whoever told her what dilf means is on my hitlist, so if any of you say anything, there will be hell to pay

idk how i feel abt this one