We turned New Year into Christmas to make up for the lack of it on the twenty fifth. The feast Jay and Taylor put out would rival anything my Mum could have come up with and there were even presents. It gave me hope for the coming year, a good start could only lead on to better things.

At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

After washing every dish and piece of cutlery the kitchen possessed, I sat up on the bench and watched Cody finish putting the last few things away. Everyone else was playing a game or watching TV, I wasn’t entirely sure. The laughter that came from them was nice to hear and I wanted the day to last forever.  

Could this be how my life would carry out once Damon was gone?

Cody seemed to think so, coming to stand in front of me I wrapped my legs around him and welcomed his kiss. Though as his hands ran through my hair and he pulled me tighter against him, I made him stop.

“Anyone could walk in.” I reminded him, looking towards the entry. I knew Connor had worked out where I slept again, but I wasn’t sure about the others. Even at the hotel they had assumed we had a room each.

“I don’t care anymore, why not let them know?”

“What will they think?” I didn’t want this to change their opinion of me, I had worked hard to make them accept and respect me.

“Does it matter?”

He moved in again and the awkward cough from the doorway had him leaping backwards while my face went bright red.

Guess he did care after all.

“Oh please, don’t mind me.” Connor teased, going to the fridge.

“It wasn’t…” The excuses were about to come pouring out of Cody and I couldn’t hide my amusement.

“Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that brother.”

“You knew?” I asked and Connor only nodded, taking a swig of the orange juice straight from the carton.

“It’s obvious, always has been. The only one who hasn’t clicked on is your friend, though he did work out the other day you don’t sleep in the barn anymore.”

He left us with that and Cody couldn’t hide his embarrassment. Here we were, thinking we had everything worked out and hidden only they knew all along. I was almost proud of them, I didn’t think they had it in them to be so observant. Neither did Cody.

Cody lifted me down and we headed into the living room, taking the beanbag Cody got comfortable and to his surprise I made sure to sit with him. Not next to him or near him, finding a place between his legs and leant back against his chest. His arms fell over my shoulders and I got comfortable too ignoring the looks from everyone.

Especially Ethan’s.

After a minute, things went back to normal and slowly my eyes began to close. I was warm, comfortable and felt completely safe. Better than that, I felt loved. It was a strange realization to finally understand feelings I had forgotten. I loved my pack in the wild. We travelled, hunted and lived together for years. Yet the affection was different. It wasn’t like the humans, like what I allowed myself to feel for this group.  It was the same kind that hurt when I thought of my parents and family, of Leanna. If I lost any of this family, it would hurt me just the same. Actually it might hurt worse as I had only just rediscovered what it felt like and I couldn’t lose it again.

Waking up I was surprised to find I was in bed, and glancing towards the clock on the bed side table it was eleven thirty. It was only eight when I sat down with Cody, and I couldn’t believe I had gone to sleep so early.

“Go back to sleep.” He mumbled, rolling over slightly the cold section of the bed had me following him to keep warm.

“I cant.”

“Yeah you can. Close your eyes.” He groaned. It amused me how much he liked to sleep for an early riser. His own sleeping pattern had changed slightly to fit in with me, but I still slept for only half the time he did. Although in the last couple of weeks though he woke at the slightest movement, and I knew it was because our bond was only strengthening. Sensing each other moods didn’t even require thinking, I just knew. I could feel it and my wolf was even more focused than I was and it was obvious he was the same.

Downstairs I could hear the others laughing and had no idea how I had even managed to fall and stay asleep down there, let alone be taken to bed.

Safe.

I agreed with my wolf, I felt safe here. I trusted them.

“It’s nearly New Year, want to join in the countdown?” Cody yawned, sitting up slightly. I realized that would involve getting up and biting my lip, there was one other way I could imagine bringing in the New Year. He said nothing as I moved to straddle him, giving me complete control our clothes were quickly discarded.

It wasn’t long before down stairs were calling out the final seconds the year and as the chorus of Happy New Year met our ears, we were to lost in each other to even care. The party that we had going on between us deserved more of a celebration than the start of a new day and keeping in spirit of the night, we had a countdown of our own making entering its final stages. Hitting our peak, we fell together slightly damp, but completely satisfied to the bed and looking into Cody’s blue eyes, my future was clear.

It would always be here, and any doubt I had about that was gone.

“Happy New Year.” He mumbled, his breathing as erratic as my own and all I could do in response was kiss him. In doing that, it lead to one of the best mornings of my life and the perfect start to a New Year.

--

January went by in a blur. We trained, we spied more on Damon’s movements only as the weeks went by, more attention started to go towards the things on the ranch that needed to be taken care of. With the worst of the winter over, it was time to check fences, ready the cattle and start to plan for the year. Jay and Cody took care of all of that and Connor had work to do on the accounts. His genius wasn’t just with computer, but with numbers and I also learnt he did college by correspondence.

Everyone seemed renewed with the start of the year. Ethan and Cody were actually getting along, in fact we all were. Nothing felt fake or like it was about it to break. It was nice to be normal and we all benefitting from it. It was like the pack when Spring arrived, you knew the hard times were over and put aside the losses suffered in the winter and focused on the future. You knew food was coming, you knew the weather would be warmer. You found hope and the strength you’d been missing to keep going.

Even in the peace you knew not to let your guard down, and sitting on the veranda as everyone went about their business – I saw they all had. Now would be the time when another pack would come to move in on your territory, ready to go after the herds in your land or the rogues would slip in to lure others away for their own pack. Maybe the yearlings would leave, set on finding their own territory or be chased out from an attempt at taking the lead that went bad.

I knew all these things would be affecting my pack in the wild. The weather was still cold and the rain still came, though we had nowhere near the same snowfall as in previous years. I couldn’t wait for them to move closer, desperate to check on them. They had all been in good health when I saw them last and to leave now to find them was something I couldn’t make myself do.

We had our own pack to watch over now, our time with the wolves was over and as February arrived, the snow came back. Work stopped and for the others they spent more time in town with friends, simply living as they had before I came. Ethan and I trained with Cody, and I even made sure he went out with this family every now and then.

Alone time with Ethan varied as much as the weather and while a truce had settled between him and Cody, I knew they needed time apart. Sometimes I’d go with Cody though he was rarely left completely alone. I couldn’t turn off like the others. Any sounds at night had me up, any cars from the other properties that came within hearing distance had me cautious. In town I looked at everyone suspiciously and my trust in Ethan hadn’t improved. While we were also in a truce, he had done nothing to help reestablish any trust. We still had our talks about the past, plans for the future and he didn’t let up about moving to Europe with him either. Now he knew about Cody and I, it only annoyed me he would think that I would leave them all behind.

“We don’t have to do Valentine’s Day.” I was lying. The prospect of celebrating the holiday with, well my boyfriend, had my stomach in knots. I understood what giddy with excitement was now and Connor only rolled his eyes as Cody and I discussed it in the kitchen.

“Yeah we do. I’m the guy, it’s a day for romance.” Cody argued.

“Just do it Bianca, Taylor even has something upstairs for you to wear out tonight.” Connor joined in the argument and finally giving in, my grin made my cheeks ache. “God this is sickening.”

“Shut up Connor.” The brothers started arguing amongst themselves and I sat back to watch. While we were all content, the change in Cody was the most noticeable. Adam told me he hadn’t seen his cousin like this in so long he forgot what it was like to see him happy. Taylor agreed and with frequent calls through the computer than Connor assured me where untraceable, the friendship I had formed with Caprice gave me hope this was it for us.

The attack on Caprices’ pack never came, and while we both knew it would stupid of her to let their guard down – like us, it was hard not to do.

Forgetting about Damon would be easy, the others had already started lowering his threat level from his lack of action since Christmas Eve, but I couldn’t let it go. I knew he was only waiting for the right time to strike and with the talk of our valentine’s day dinner in town, I let that worry be put on hold.

Just for one night.

Taylor dragged me into her room around four thirty, an hour later she had put me through a variety of torture from eyebrow plucking to hair straightening. She even put make up on me and got me into a dress. Thankfully we negotiated on the calf length boots rather than the heels and after adding a jacket and scarf, I emerged looking more like my old self than I had since I was sixteen.

“Now that’s the Bianca I remember.” Ethan whistled as we went downstairs, “Good to see you looking like a girl. In a dress.”

“Shut up.” I snapped, but it wasn’t serious. He had a point though, I used to live in dresses, high heels and my girly wardrobe put Taylors to shame. These days I was different, for tonight – I was the old Bianca.

Cody came in from outside, and sensing him before he entered I already moved to greet him.

“Wow, must be serious. He cleaned out his car.” Adam mocked.

“Now make sure she’s back by ten, a minute over and you’re both grounded.” Connor joined his cousin in the teasing, yet a look from Cody had them giggling to themselves as they retreated to the living room.

“You look, different.” Cody stuttered, and rather than leave we stood there awkwardly. “I mean, good. But different. You don’t look like you usually do.”

He was nervous.

We both were.

This was all different and new. It was a date. For all we had been through and done together, this changed – something.

The fact he on suit pants, dress shoes and a collared shirt made him look different too. In a good way.

“Thanks. So do you.”

“Just go already!” Taylor pushed me towards Cody as she walked past with a pizza and taking my hand, Cody yelled bye and we left.

Now I understood what Adam had been referring to about cleaning out the car. This was new, and I realized it must have been what was under the tarp in the bike shed. It was a sleek black car that was from a different era. Getting in the roar of the engine vibrated through every inch of me and as Cody sped down the driveway, I could tell he enjoyed driving it.

“This used to be my Dads. He spent my childhood working on it and I used to help him as I got older. I still do every now and then, make sure it keeps starting and take it out for a spin.”

“It’s really nice.” I enthused, the smell of leather from the seats was inviting and as we made it to the town, I was sad for the ride to end. I had never been in a car like it before and the history behind it only made it more special.

Dinner was amazing and we fell into easy conversation about nothing and everything. It was the most perfect date I had ever been on, complete with champagne and red roses. All around us couples in love mimicked our actions, all of us blissfully unaware of each other as we lived in our own bubbles. There was a proposal in one corner and everyone erupted in applause as the woman said yes, and yet as dessert was placed in front of us, something changed.

I felt it first.

My wolf appeared instantly, searching around the restaurant for something we weren’t sure about.

“What is it?” Cody turned serious, proving again how in tune he was to my moods. I only shook my head, not sure. I felt restless, my wolf agreeing with me that it was time to move.

“I don’t know, but we need to go.”

I stood without thinking, moving through the crowded restaurant every step was slow and cautious and as Cody paid the bill, I followed him out onto the street. Something was missing. The crowded windows of the restaurants and cafes around us offered no clues, just like the empty streets. It wasn’t something to see, rather than feel.

Or maybe it was something to see.

“Cody, that’s Max.” I saw the man up the street, with a couple of others and it made sense now.

‘Go home. He’s here.’

“We need to get home, now.”

Cody said nothing, he didn’t need to. The look on his face told me everything I could ever want to know and we ran down to the car leaving the roses behind.

 Instead of going home, we turned early and I realized this was Adam and Taylors old house. Kane and Brett ran out to meet us and Cody parked in the garage at the side of the house. We got out and met them half way.

“Have you heard from anyone at home?” Cody demanded.

“No, nothing. What’s happening?” Kane asked.

“I don’t know, come on.”

We all shifted and sprinted across the paddocks until the lights of the house greeted us as we reached the top of a hill. Nothing seemed wrong, until the gunshot echoed through the night and we went on with even more urgency. Getting closer we all spread apart, and crouching low against the ground I let my wolf take over.

We circled the house and I realized it was Kane ahead of me. Distracted looking for Cody, I failed to see the light being waved in our direction and dropped down just as it passed me.

“There are others here now, get the ones from inside out.” I didn’t know the voice and my fur instantly bristled, no one threatened my family. I wasn’t the girl I was before, now if they wanted to take us down – I was able to fight back. The work truck was parked close to the paddock and I quickly jumped the fence, reminding myself Cody could look after himself and to stop worrying. The gypsy’s reminder that he was a distraction, hit me hard.

Did she see this?

Crawling under the vehicle, I managed to hold back the growl as everyone was dragged out at gunpoint. Connor, Ethan and Adam were already in wolf form, but they were outnumbered. There was about twelve shifters out here and then I saw the one I wanted.

Damon.

“Where is she?” He screamed at them. Taylor started to sob against Jay who stood definitely in front of my mate.

“Who?”

The second Damon’s fist swung out to punch him, I saw the movement to my left and Kane came running out to stop him. It was too late and Jay was knocked down. Everyone turned on Kane, and Damon stepped back as his pack came forward. As chaos ruled, I kept hidden urging Taylor and Jay to shift.

As if they could hear me they took the distraction as their chance, shifting and running to where I was hidden with the others. Jumping out to join them, I wasn’t missed by Damon.

“Get the white and grey!”

I took the lead, keenly aware that Cody had joined us and rather than taking off across the paddocks where we had come from,  l lead them to the area I knew best; the forest.

With no set path to guide us, I knew exactly where to go. Taylor was whining as she ran, her fear infecting the rest of the group as we charged on.  Glancing back, the sounds of being followed were clear and Cody was leading up the rear of the pack. Brett joined us soon after and the others were gaining ground. We needed to split up.

I shifted, pointing at  Taylor, Adam and Jay.

“Keeping up to the ridge. When you reach the rocks, turn right and go to the water. Cross the river, the water will weaken your scent until you get the rocky outcrop on the hill. There are caves there to hide in.”

They took off, doing as I said.

“Cody, take Connor and one you reach the clearing following it back down towards your property. Connor needs to let Caprice know whats happening here incase he has planned something for them too.”

I didn’t get to finish before he shifted.

“I’m not leaving you!”

“Its us they want, they will follow our scent. I know this area and all the places to hide. You need to look after your brother!” I growled, my wolf coming out. She didn’t want to leave him either, but we had to keep them safe. This is what we wanted to avoid, what I didn’t want to happen and now it was.

“No! Get Ethan to do it!” He wasn’t going to back down.

“This is because of us, you’ve lost your family before and I won’t let you suffer through that again. This is how it is meant to be!”

“And what about you? What if I lose you?”

“Then you still have them.” I patted Connors head, kissing his nose before turning to shift. Seeing the direction I turned Ethan began to run and the sounds were only getting closer.

Instead Cody grabbed my arm and his eyes frantically searched mine.

“They need you, more than I do.”

I pulled my arm out his grip and shifted, taking off after Ethan it hurt to say that. I needed him more than any other person on this planet and I hoped after tonight I could tell him that.

Ethan let me guide him and we headed away from the others. The other wolves kept coming and it wasn’t long before Ethan began to slow. This was why I was always telling him to train, not just with fighting, but for fitness. Wolf and human both needed their own strengths and they were so close now I could hear each breath.

We’d have to fight.

Taking him up to higher ground, we moved amongst some rocks and as the first three appeared, he didn’t hold back now to make a kill. They were even more exhausted than us and as their back up appeared, the sight of the dead shifters scared them more than anything.

They kept coming. For everyone we killed, two more appeared and nine shifters later my wolf was on an adrenaline rush from her kills. Blood stained her chest, muzzle and sides. The few wounds we had, not enough to slow us down and I realized they worked on a number basis. If you saw six wolves charge at you, you would flee. Fighting wasn’t their strong point.

It was only as the sound of dirt bikes reached us that I urged Ethan to run again.

It wasn’t just a number game with them, but a weapon one too.

The gun shots started to follow us, the whiz of bullets splintering the wood from trees and rebounding off rocks. Ethan’s own adrenaline gave him the ability to keep up with me, yet his fear was only growing.

I had seen him get shot.

Twice.

He didn’t know about the second time, he never knew about Esmeralda and I wondered if I should have told him.

‘Not this way!’

My wolf was seeking control, trying to guide us not only through the forest, but from the bikes and wolves that seemed to be circling us and breaking out into the clearing we both saw our mistake and my fear for Ethan was possibly greater than his own.

Damon stood waiting with two men either side of him, and each way we turned there was a gun there to block us. The wolves were taken down easily enough, and as the last few who had shifted joined us, they went back to human form. Soon each man had a gun, and I couldn’t stop the growls as my wolf paced around in a circled beside Ethan, this was a cowardly attack.

“Shift. Mate.” Damon demanded. His face was unreadable yet the authority in his voice was obvious. Ethan cowered beside me, and I tried to keep a clear mind. My head dropped slightly, staring up at the one the fates decided for me. And then I saw what I was looking for.

Doubt.

Fear.

He was more scared of me than I was of him. It was as if he sensed his mistake, squaring off his shoulders as the feeling in the clearing only get worse the longer I disobeyed.

Cocking the gun he aimed it at Ethan, “Do it or your pack mate dies.”

The vision had Ethan in human form, if he shifted – he was dead anyway. There had to be  way out of this, I had just had to find it.

All I did in response was growl more, my lips curling to reveal blood stained saliva covering my canines and I snapped my jaws. Any dominant wolf would be struggling to take over right now. The more I challenged him, the more he knew it.

‘Weak coward.’

Seems some opinions never change.

“Shift pup!” Damon tried it on Ethan, his fear outweighed any chance he had over refusing him too. Using the distraction of him changing, I jumped towards Damon, set on tearing him apart. Two wolves appeared from behind him and as one knocked me over, I grabbed hold of the other, making him fall with me. Bringing my back legs up, I aimed for the softer flesh under his ribs, curling my paws with the force of the push, my nails tore into his skin.

His yelp rang out through the clearing and as the other pinned me down, I managed to grab hold of his cheek. I didn’t hold back as I rolled away, the flap of his lip ripping with me. He let go before his hold became deadly on my throat and wriggling free, I didn’t make that mistake. I heard someone gasp, another was throwing up as their pack mate dropped to the dirt torn apart. Looking to Damon, he only smirked .

“I told you to shift.”

The shot was fired and everything stopped as I turned to watch the bullet collide with Ethan. Different to the vision, he was shot in the chest and I hadn't shifted. Could this have been his fate all along? Could I have stopped this?

With these thoughts racing through my mind, I couldn’t breathe. the frantic panting I was already subjected to making me choke up as he fell. Images of my father’s final moments hit me as the wolves stopped their fight, then seeing Leanna dead on the grass.

I failed her.

I failed Ethan.

Whining I went to his side, my heart breaking as I knew he was dead. Shifting I put my hands over the wound, and my hands became covered in his blood. I couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped me.

“I’m sorry Ethan, I’m so sorry.” I mumbled over again and again as the wound stopped leaking and the color left his face. “I’m sorry.”

My wolf gained control just as I felt the warm metal being pressed against my own forehead. Looking up the dark brown eyes of Damon met mine, frantically searching them for something.

“You coward. Why do you all follow such a weak excuse of a shifter?” The fear was only directed towards me. They had seen me take down two of their pack mates after doing the same to the others. “I mean it. What kind of Alpha hides behind a gun?”

I was pushing him to far, the way his hand was trembling told me his wolf was fighting to take over.

“Pathetic.”

“Shut your mouth she-wolf!” He roared, and in the second he raised his fist I knew he was planning on hitting me with the gun. Ethan was dropped and seeing my opening, I lunged towards him. He easily stumbled backwards and the gun fell from his hand.

“You should have killed me when you had the chance, mate.” I growled, my fist colliding with his cheek before he could try to defend himself.

He didn’t need to defend himself. He had his pack surrounding me to do that and as I got in my third blow and went to strangle him, two men pulled me off him. With my arms restricted I kicked out with my legs, acting like I had gone insane. In some ways I had.

Another helped him up and holding his jaw, his gaze was deadly.

I welcomed it.

Cody’s howl met my ears and everyone froze. It was like playing with children and freeing my arm I swung around the man who had the other, knocking him under the chin.

What I didn’t expect was the shot to my leg and as the pain ripped through my body, I stumbled to the dirt. Before I could focus and try to defend myself, the pain that filled my skull told me it was too late and everything disappeared.