Smiles, balloons, a steady flow of 'Happy Birthday', the feeling of love and shared happiness; all these things surround me. To an outsider it could be overwhelming but I'm used to it now. Sixteen years of celebrating nearly every birthday like it's a wedding reception will shake off anyone's fear of being the center of attention and don't think I'm complaining.

I love it.

I love everyone here.

They are my pack, my family, so how could they not all be invited to celebrate my birthday? Besides, for anyone's sixteenth, we as wolf-shifters make it a big deal. It is a coming of age when we can fully connect to our inner beast and have the ability to shift for the first time. The irony of it all is after what is generally the best birthday you will ever have; there is a chance of dying. It rarely happens and never has in our pack but that fear is always there.

Sometimes you just can't connect to your wolf.

You're either not mentally or physically strong enough to handle the first shift and as my parents are the current alpha couple I was born with an advantage. One day, maybe, I will follow in their footsteps, but until then I am happy just being their daughter. Besides, before I reach the maturity to even challenge for the position, the reality is my parents would have probably been replaced. I don't mean killed or anything horrible, rules are in place to stop that from happening although it still does from to time. An Alpha knows when their time is up and who will be the one taking the position without the bloodshed having to occur.

"Bianca you look gorgeous!" Leanna my best friend, cousin and partner in crime came running over, finally here. Two hours late is actually pretty good timing as far as she is concerned. "That white dress makes you look like a goddess and is that a real diamond on your neck?"

Self consciously I touched the jewel, it was a 3ct masterpiece and little did she know come her own sixteenth in a three months time, she'd be getting a ruby. Mum had picked up a similar piece for her deciding to go with our birthstones for gifts this year.

"Thanks and yes it is. It's all Mum" I twirled slightly, the Grecian style gown was complimented with the curly up-do of my dark brown hair and thanks to the light tanning of my skin, I could finally wear white without looking like I was dressing up as a ghost. It was somehting that bothered my paler cousin no end and if her lack of a tan is her only issue, she's doing well.

"Wish some of the fashion gene got passed into my Mum. She wanted me to wear something from her wardrobe. I don't do floral or knee length" She rolled her eyes as I knew she would have done to Aunt Alice's suggestions at the time.

"I've noticed. Did you forget your pants with that?" I teased raising my eyebrow as I observed the red mini dress that barely covered her ass cheeks. Somehow she managed to keep it looking classy rather than trashy.

"God you sound like her" Leanna poked me in the arm a little hard yet both laughing we meet up with our friends by the dance floor ready to get the party started.

-

"Are you having a good time darling?" Dad is a little drunk as he takes me away from my friends to a slightly less populated area of the dance floor and despite the base heavy remix of Britney Spears's hit, he dances with me more traditionally. Once the DJ spots him in the crowd, something more appropriate for his style takes over and I have to giggle as around us everyone groans.

"The best Daddy" From where we swayed, he kissed my forehead smiling and had I been some kind of cat shifting species, I'd be purring.

"I'm glad princess. Just be ready as in two days the biggest test of your life will be happening" My smile disappeared for a second, was I really ready for this? "And you will be a strong, proud shifter. Do not doubt yourself"

Spying Mum with Aunt Alice nearby he let me go back to my friends while he grabbed her and the pair acting like teenagers themselves, did a bad impersonation of the tango past us. That's my parents for you and I think it was why they were so successful leading us as a pack.

The packs interests were always first, never their own and it was not always about business. They could relax amongst us if their title did not matter and Dad always told me it didn't.

"We're a pack, a unit. To think any of us are different or special will only fuel jealously and hatred, leaving us to fall apart. An equal pack is a strong pack."

They kept us all in line, leading as Alpha's were intended. We were well respected within the shifter community because of how they ran things and it was how it had always been here. Little had changed since the days of the first Alpha's and it was expected his great great grandson would be the one to take over from my Dad when he matured.

-

It was nearly dawn by the time the last person left and bed had never felt so good, even if Leanna already took up the majority of it.

"Hey Bee?"

"Yeah Anna?"

"Are you scared for the shifting?"

Changed into our pajama's, I rolled to face her. The shadows of the room made her pale skin almost glow while her eyes were dark hollows. Already spooked by her question, I closed my eyes.

"Yeah but I'm kind of excited too"

She sighed; resting her arm over her forehead I could feel her fear.

"Well once you get through it, you have to be there for me ok? I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen, like I'm going to die"

"Stop being so dramatic" Yet as we fell asleep I couldn't help share her worries.

-

Standing out in the forest just outside our town, we all gathered waiting as the dusk turned to night and as the last lazy rays of the sun disappeared on the horizon, the first star appeared in the sky.

This was it; I was finally going to be a shifter.

"Ready sweet heart?" Dad hugged me briefly, smiling at Mum as she rubbed my back in that soothing way only Mothers can do.

"No" Throwing up was something I was ready for, this? No.

"Of course you are" Mum squeezed my shoulders and Leanna took her place as she leapt towards me, nearly tackling me to the ground. Her doubts from the night of the party had clearly gone yet they were all I could think about.

"Our lil Binky is all grown up" She fake sobbed, and I only glared at her in response. I hated being called Binky, when we were little she could never say Bianca so it kind of stuck as a nickname now.

"You won't be teasing me when I can shift" I warned, smirking as her face fell for a second.

"Of course I will, I've been saving my flea jokes for you" Dam she was quick and before I could respond Dad coughed to get our attention. Two wolves emerged from the forest and nodding at them, he glanced up to the sky before moving to shift too. When he returned as the large brown and white wolf, it was the first time I've ever been scared seeing him.

"You'll be fine" Mum whispered in my ear, kissing my temple the chorus of my immediate family sounded through the night from all around us, calling to my own wolf to come out. The howl sent a shiver up my spine and looking at Leanne she finally appeared to be as nervous as I felt, but still managed to discreetly give me the thumbs up as pins and needles started to tingle in my abdomen, up my chest and spread through my body like a virus.

The stabs got sharper and falling to my knees Mum still stood by me, comforting the human while my Dad called to the wolf. The clearing seemed to sizzle with the anticipation of what was about to happen and as the pain got to much I couldn't stop screaming. I dropped to all fours, my hands digging into the earth as I threw my head up to the sky where the moon was just rising over the treetops and looking back to the dirt, I saw her.

We all take pride of our wolf form, the magic gift of shifting something we know to appreciate and seeing her for the first time, I understood it.

She was beautiful and all mine.

Her fur was almost cream, a dark dusting of black and grey along her back, neck and tail yet her chest and face was completely white. The pattern was stunning and my pain left me as her dark brown eyes stared into my own; judging me.

Was I worthy to have such a proud wolf?

Everyone seemed to disappear from around us as she hesitantly came forward; her caution was clear, never coming straight to me instead weaving left and right. Dad told me this would happen and finally she stopped before me. Her head lowered with that predatory assessment I had seen so many times before amongst the wolves.

I knew what to do, I had to connect to her and as I managed to get some awareness of my own body back I started to reach for her until my Mums screams ruined the peace that settled between us. My wolf looked just as alarmed as I did, her head shooting up startled. The wolf's ears danced on top of her head, looking around as if waiting for something to jump out and grab us. Even worse was worried she'd reject me and I'd be left to deal with the pain alone. Leanna had almost been right, if my wolf left - I'd be fighting for my life.

"They're not connected, we can't stop! It could kill her!" Mum yelled desperately and in that second I became aware something was seriously wrong.

"We have to, the pack is under attack. We are vulnerable out here and need to get back to them" Another voice yelled.

It was like they were speaking a new language I hadn't learnt and my wolf leapt at me causing a new pain to rip through my chest as every bone in my body seemed to crack, moving to find a new positions as my skin was on fire and my heart began to beat to a new pace.

"Alphas, they're here"

Who is here?

I wanted to move, to wake up but something felt different and the new voice in my head told me to stay. Every instinct I had told me to listen to it and so I didn't move a muscle. I wasn't even sure that I could, pain vibrated through me like electrical shocks while yelps echoed through the night. Alongside the savage growls of wolves fighting there were the screams of humans. The stench of blood and fear came next.

These things the new part of me found exciting, tempting, but still she did nothing.

Wait. He's coming.

I had no idea who he was, more worried that she was going for self preservation than helpig her pack. Afterall, if her vessel died she died. My instinct was to go and help, fight - only she had control of my body. Maybe she didn't know what to do with it, maybe something went wrong with our connection. I was certain Leanna's fear be true now, only I'm the one dying.

Something changed in her mind, the calm and certainty that had been present vanished and soon after so did she. Finally I was able to open my eyes and I wished I hadn't. I was quick to identify my pack, Leanna and finally my father where he was still fighting, but it was three on one.

With a groan I stood, surprised to find myself still human. I was meant to shift when we connect, my Alpha was meant to guide me back into control of my body to learn how to turn back human.

Why wasn't I changed? Did I die? Was I imagining all of this? Did I imagine her?

"D-dad?" I croaked, my voice was hoarse as my throat still felt misplaced. He didn't hear me, how could he over the noise of the fight and taking a step I fell back down just as the black wolf got the deadliest grip of all causing the fight to end.

Dad fell to the ground, his paw twitching slightly before there was nothing and gasping I struggled to get to his side, practically crawling on all fours through the dirt to get to him.

Run.

She was back there in my mind, her order clear. I didn't understand how this was happening if I hadn't actually shifted yet or how could she be so cruel. I coulnd't leave my Dad.

Run.

Again the voice demanded that I run but I didn't care; getting to my Dad was more important.

"Grab the girl!" I just made it to his wolf and grabbing onto his fur I couldn't keep silent, my cries coming out in screaming gasps and her voice was blocked out from my mind.

He couldn't be dead.

Looking around I saw the wolf form of my Mum by Leanna who just as still on the dew covered grassed beside her. This was a joke, a horrible cruel joke.

It had to be.

"No, no no no!" I couldn't stop shaking and rough hands grabbed my waist, pulling my away from Dad which only sent me into complete hysteria.

"Shut up!" He growled, the hard impact of his fist on my cheek sent me back into the ground with a thud, but I couldn't stop crying even if I tried after that.

He's here.

She spoke up again, the hollow feeling in my chest that I was already learning to associate with her, returning as she seemed to come and go within me. Her words were cold, scared even and I had no idea what was going on.

Did she know something I didn't?

"Did she shift?" The mans voice wasn't as cruel as the others, if anything it offered some kind of comfort to me in all this madness, but my wolf didn't agree. If I could see her she would be shrinking down low ready to defend herself and I felt myself tensing as her mood connected to mine.

We're trapped.

"No Sir, we stopped them before it could happen," Opening my eyes, it was the one who hit me speaking up and seeing me move, he grabbed my hair and yanked me back to my feet, sniffing the air around me as he did so. "There is nothing wolf about her."

"Good. We got here in time then." He emerged from the shadows as if he had been apart of them and as he walked towards us he was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. There was a certain presence that followed him meaning only one thing.

He was an Alpha.

Unlike my father whose position seemed to add to his natural charm, this mans aura was dark, troubled and it scared me more than anything else that had just gone on. Distracted the wolf took over, assessing each of them that surrounded us, avoiding their leader and as if sensing my confusion, she filled me in.

Mate.

She watched his movements as if he were a piece of art to be studied, taking over my mind which left me feeling suffocated as every scent around us was locked into her memory, especially his and then she left me to deal with it alone.

Why wasn't she happy to see him? Surely he was here to help us?

"Yes Alpha, nothing more than a human."

He stopped in front of me and grabbing my chin, his fingers moved my face up to look at him properly yet he didn't actually hurt me as I was expecting. I dont know why I would think that, mates don't hurt mates. "Bianca I presume?"

"Answer when he talks to you" The hand that had hit me before did so again and I dropped down to my knees from the pressure, crying out in the process. My body was trembling with fear and pain, longing for my Mum to get up unharmed and hold me or for Leanna to try convincing me this was a dream.

Better yet for my mate to help me, but no relief or assistance came.

"Why? Why are you doing this?" I almost begged through gritted teeth as the pain throbbed in time to my heartbeat sending me into another round of panic attacks.

"Do you recognize what I am to you, that I'm your mate?"

Lie.

Following her instructions I shook my head.

"Still human so I guess you wouldn't be able to tell yet and that will actually make this easier for you" He muttered bitterly with a hint of regret on his words. "Would you like to know the one destined to love you would do this?"

I wasn't sure if I should answer with the sarcasm in his tone and I was left with a sense of dread that took over my fear and heartache for my family. Squatting in front of me, his dark eyes looked troubled as he seemed to be looking for something in my own, yet the part of me that was my wolf seemed to shrink back even further and I only nodded in response.

My wolf didn't want to be found, she didn't want him knowing she was with me.

The sadness turned to determination, a haunting look that proved he was void of any true emotion and that his heart was as dark as his soul.

How did the fates match me to him? What did I do to deserve this?

"Well mate, five years ago just before I was due to shift for the first time a gypsy gave me a warning. My own father would try to kill me by stopping me from completing that first shifting process and she was right. He did try. Only because I was expecting it, he had no chance and as a fresh wolf, I killed him and the Alpha, my Uncle, which left me as the pack leader."

Something was bothering him, I could tell by his agitated movements that were soon became an obvious need to touch me. I couldn't protest as he held me against his chest, as if we both knew it would be the first and last time for such contact.

My wolf only buried deeper, but her presence was more prominent in my mind rather than body like she knew what was happening already and didn't want to miss out on the contact while we had it. None of this was making sense, she should want to be with her mate and he should want to be with me.

"After I killed them, I went back to the gypsy and you know what she told me next? Have a guess mate"

"I don't know" I stuttered, his grip increasing as I was practically being crushed against him. There was nothing affectionate about it, it was only desperate and clingy. What ever was going on in his twisted mind was finding release in the way he held me yet as he went to speak, anger and betrayal filled his voice. It only broke my heart more, especially once I heard what he had to say.

"My mate, that being you Bianca, would be the one to kill me on the day we first met and I just can't let that happen."

Everything became clear in that moment and I finally understood what was happening.

He was going to kill me.

----

>> Bianca's picture.