Pearl took a long sip of her drink before returning it to its cup holder in her pool float. Her hot fuchsia bikini looked luscious against the bright, sunny yellow of her float.

"Oh my God, Jane," Pearl whined, "Change the music. No one wants to hear your sappy, sad, melancholy crap right now. The sun's out, girl."

Jane frowned. She pulled her black shades down to the tip of her nose and eyed Pearl. "What shall the Sun Goddess hear today, then?"

She scrolled through her phone's app for summertime playlists. She laid back down flat on her lounger, blocking the sun with her phone above her head.

Monica watched the puffy clouds go by behind the purple-hued lenses of her sunglasses and said, "Anything with Bob Marley will make Pearly happy, I reckon."

"That's right!" Pearl clapped.

"Fine," Jane gave in and soon "Could You Be Loved" pleasantly streamed from her portable speaker. She adjusted the halter strap of her one-piece black swimsuit and went back to reading one of her favorite literary journals, Glimmer Train.

Since Monica was not as damp as she was a few minutes ago, she reapplied her sunscreen, making sure to apply more to her nose, cheeks and chest since she always seemed to get fiercely red in those areas. She leaned back in her lounger, looking over at Jane next to her. As her friend turned the page and continued to read, Monica felt a strange, unsteady feeling envelop her. 

Even though she was outside, under the sunshine and having some chill, girl time, the music, relaxation and beautiful weather wasn't enough for her that day.

She fiddled with the blue string of her bikini, rolled over to her side and re-tied it, making it a little tighter. She rose from her lounger and smoothed out her towel.

"Monny, you okay?" Pearl paddled closer to the side of the pool near her friends.

Though Jane saw what happened between Monica and Scout a few nights ago, she hadn't discussed it with Pearl. She felt it wasn't her place to do so. She was also not quite sure what to think of it, and thought Monica felt the same way. Maybe now was a good time, with her friends, to clear the air about that kiss.

"I think she's got something on her mind," Jane leaked.

Monica's color drained from her face. Her heartbeat soared and she felt like diving into the pool. Only she wanted the depth of the pool to be never-ending. She wanted to swim and swim and swim until nothing was behind her and nothing was ahead of her either.

"Huh?" Pearl slid off her float and squeezed the water from her hair into the pool.

"Monny?" Jane looked at her friend, waiting.

Monica sat up and swallowed. "I kissed someone. Outside of the pizza place."

"What did you do?" Pearl asked, wide-eyed and intrigued as she got out of the pool and stood in front of Monica, the pool water racing down her legs.

"I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Sweetie, it was only a kiss," Pearl set her hand on Monica's knee, reassuringly, "Who was he?"

Jane let out a curt laugh.

"What?" Pearl retracted her hand. "Do we know him or something?"

Jane shook her head.

Monica's eyes leaped from Jane to Pearl to the glistening pool water. "It wasn't anyone we know. It wasn't a guy. It was a girl."

Jane pressed her lips together, and Pearl smacked Monica's leg.

"Monica!" Pearl laughed, "We've all been there, girl."

"Uh," Jane put Glimmer Train down. "Not me."

"Really?" Pearl cocked her hip to one side and placed her hands on her waist. "You've never kissed a girl before? Ever? C'mon, Jane, you were in a sorority--"

"Nope! Not once," Jane said. "I was never tempted to. All those girls were such bitches anyway."

Pearl giggled and sat next to Monica on her lounger. "Monica, it's okay. I've kissed a girl before. Actually, I've kissed two girls before. It was okay. I was drunk, like you. It didn't mean anything. It just kinda happened, you know? The booze. The music. Being fed up with whichever guy I was going out with at the time."

"Yeah," Jane said, "but have you ever kissed a girl while you were with Toby?"

Pearl bit her lip and squinted, "Ah, well, no. I never did that." She looked at Monica then for further explanation.

Monica swallowed again, this time it was harder to find her words. "I ... I just ... "

"Girl," Pearl said steadily, "It's all good. You did nothing wrong. It's not like you're suddenly a lesbian or anything. Don't worry about it. It was nothing."

Jane went back to reading. Pearl stayed seated next to her friend. 

Monica wished she really could dive in and disappear. 

tysm 4 reading
xx
Leanne