The second I got to the hospital I kicked the door to my car open and bolted inside, leaving my car outside unattended. Almost hitting a few people as I drove up knocking over a trash can I am prepared to deal with it afterwords. There where 5 people in front of me in line but I didn't care. They all had stupid reasons for being there. A twisted ankle or a scratch they think is infected, even a damn migraine! I ran past them to the front desk to the nurse up front.

"Ma'am!" I said, "Where is Mrs. Margret Farrel's room? I-" And before I could finish a man behind me and spun me around.

"Wait in line pal like the rest of us!" He yelled. I whipped his hand off me and told him my reasons for being at the hospital where much more urgent than a twisted ankle. I turned back around to the nurse, impatient asked her again. Though before I could let out a single word the same asshole grabbed my arm and tugged.

"Hey asshole!" He yelled, that's when I snapped.

"I'm sorry is your fucking mother dying!" I screamed in his face. The moment I said anything about death the expression on his face quickly turned to pity.

"Is your mom about to die? Is your problem more important than me being able to say by to my mother?" I yelled. Many people were staring at this point. Most with pitiful eyes and sad expressions on their faces.

"I...I am sorry." The man said, "Please, go."

I turned back to the nurse who had seemed to already gotten another nurse to take me to her. A larger man stood before me and nudged his head telling me to follow.

'Thank you." I said. Many people were still staring as the nurse and I headed for the elevator. Any crying babies in the lobby stopped crying. Any sneezing or coughing seemed to have just vanished. The lobby was more silent than my mother was last time I saw her. And back then she was still able to speak.

The nurse took me in the direction of the staff elevators.

"I'm going to get you there as fast as possible." He said, "You need to see her, before its too late."

I looked at him in the eyes as we entered the elevator and could tell he really wanted to get me there as soon as possible. He must have been her nurse.

"Are you her nurse?" I asked under my breath. It took him a moment to answer. He took his time pressing the elevator buttons and stepping back into the elevator without looking at me or saying a word. Though, when he did speak he didn't answer my question. He asked me one instead.

"Liam, how come you never come to see her?" He asked. I looked down at the floor feeling guilt and sadness. The elevator ride seemed to have started going in slow motion after he asked me that.

"So... You are her nurse." I said, "My reasoning for not coming are my own. I don't have to answer to you." That's what I said, but that wasn't what I was thinking. Just then the elevator door opened.

"Her room is 260." The nurse said. I walked out heading down the hall, I turned back to hear him say one last thing before the elevator closed.

"She misses you." Is what he said before the elevator closed. I turned back and headed down the hall. The entire floor was silent and seemed to have nobody inside. It was like the entire wing of the hospital was closed off just for her. The room numbers started to get closer to 260, and as it did everything I wanted to say to her started to vanish in my mind. All the reasons I stopped coming by. How I couldn't stand to see her die. How painful it was to watch her struggle to sit up to take a drink of water. It all floated away.

I found myself in front of a door. I looked up and saw the numbers 260 etched into the metal plating above the door. The small window that lead to the inside of the room emitted only light. There was no noise. Only constant silence that reminded me why I was here, and why I didn't just stay home with Emily and Hogarth. I had to see her after all this time. Emily always tried to get me to go see her but I always made excuses that I wanted to stay home and help her with her pregnancy. But Hogarth was born just 2 weeks ago. And he wont ever meet his grandma now.

"Please, go inside." A voice behind me said. I turned around to see another nurse dressed in all white. She seemed to have been waiting, for me perhaps.

"Shes holding on by a thread. For you." She said. I turned away starting to feel tears forming in my eyes. For me? I thought. I don't deserve to be wanted after leaving her here. I don't deserve to be the last person she sees.

"I don't know if I can do it." I said. "I don't know if I can see her like that." The nurse put her hand on my shoulder. It was surprisingly comforting and heart warming. Just a single touch that can make a difference. Maybe that's what mom needed.

Without looking back at the nurse I stepped towards the door and turned the doorknob. It didn't even made a noise when I opened the door. At first, all I saw was a white light. It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the intense light but when they did I saw something surprising. The entire room was white. Not as many machines as last time but plenty making all the annoying sounds you could think of. The bed in the middle of the room facing the window. I couldn't see her. She was focused on what was in front of her.

The window reached ever corner of the wall. It must of had the best view of the hospitals garden because the sight was glorious. The sun could be seen right above the birch trees surrounding the hospital. The garden and open stream showed many colors from flowers and the crystal clear water. Some patients where walking around in the garden enjoying themselves while in recovery. I could tell that was all mom wanted to do; walk.

I got lost in the view and didn't realize I had started to walk forward. I was by her bed side now. She was looking up at me when I looked down to her. And the moment I looked into her eyes and saw the expression on her face I stepped back and the tears began to roll down my face. She was happy, the happiest I have seen her for almost a year sense she got sick. Every waking moment was pain and fear of not being able to move or eat or do anything that she was capable of doing. Though she was happy. Her body hadn't completely shut down and she was still able to move her left arm and head. I could see a small smile starting to grow on her face as she stuck her hand out to me. Her arm shook and her bottom lip started to tremble. One tear after another started to roll down her face as she opened her mouth but no words came out. She couldn't speak anymore.

I was given a call 2 weeks ago that she had completely lost her ability to speak. It made it even harder now to be there sense the look in her eyes were pure happiness to see me.

"Mom..." I said trying not to choke up. The second I said something she smiled and more tears began to roll down her face. She stuck out her arm farther, it obviously hurt but she didn't care. She wanted me to be closer to her.

I started to walk towards her and quickly grabbed her hand. I could feel her pulling at my arm with all the strength she had. Which wasn't much at all. I could tell that she wanted a hug from me. but before i could even think my arms where already around her and I was sobbing.

"Mom." I said, "I am sorry that I stopped coming by." I pulled away from her and saw her eyes where getting red from the tears.

"Mom I was selfish. I thought about myself and convinced myself it was best to stay away from you so I didn't have to watch you die." I said, her face looked pushed together as she moved her head signaling that it was okay. I could tell that all she cared about was that I was there with her. For her to see me one last time. She laid back in her bed and looked up into the ceiling. She looked at me and slowly rubbing my hand, it was the most comforting thing I had ever felt. And I knew it took her so much strength to even more. Strength she didn't have.

Just then, her soft motion stopped. Her head laid back completely in her bed and she looked back into my eyes. Her once loving stare slowly became gray and empty. And I felt it happen. She just faded away.

"Mom?" I said, "No! Mom! Wait don't go like this!" I screamed. I grabbed at her and hugged her and thought of how she was always there for me, through the good times and the bad. And this time when she needed me the most I wasn't there till the end. I remember how when I was little I was always bullied and picked on, and one time she came to my rescue and got them off my back. And how she would always know what to say. She was always there for me. She was always proud of me and always loved me no matter what. And now... Now she was gone.

Everything became silent. everything began to move slow. The nurses had to hold me back as she pulled me from the room, letting the last thing I see of her be the light from the window shine off her face. Though my eyes were blurry from the tears. They stopped me from seeing a clear image of her one more time. I just wanted to see her one more time. To look at me in the eyes one more time. To hug me and tell me she loved me one more time...

I sat up in the hospital chair as I quietly sobbed. My eyes hurt from crying so much and all I wanted to do was must into the room she was in and try to convince myself she was still there. The real her. Not the empty shell that she left behind. The nurse that took me up the elevator before came up and stood in front of me. His eyes were full of tears and I could see in his expression he was holding back.

"She had use record her last words." He said. The last words she was ever able to speak before her voice stopped coming out." He held up an audio recorder. I looked up at him and could feel my lip trembling, trying not to cry harder.

"Please Liam." He said, "Ever delete it." He handed me the recorder and walked away down the hall. I never knew his name, but I could tell he was close to my mom. He looked at her as another mother probably.

I looked down to the tape that was in my hand. Whatever was on it I knew would make me paralyzed. It probably was her asking why I stopped coming by. Or why I never talked when I was around. Something that would make me feel more guilt than ever. I held the recorder up to my ear and pressed play.

I was right, what was recorded on that tape did make me feel worse. It made me want my mom and to tell her that I was sorry and that I loved her. But I lost my chance to do that one more time. Just one more time is what I want. Because on the recorder, in a soft, raspy voice. I heard it. It was something that made me never take a life for granite again. Something that made me keep close to the ones I loved no matter what my mind told me other wise. Her voice only let out 4 words. Each even more faded an the last. But I will never forget them.

"Liam, I love you." Where her last words spoken, into the recorder.