POV Seraphina

I slowly set the phone aside and sank into the couch. The book in my hands, which told the story of the Shadowhunters, suddenly felt heavier. I stared at the pages, but the words blurred before my eyes. My thoughts refused to focus on the story; instead, images and thoughts of Jasper’s conversation with the council kept invading my mind. What had they discussed? What had the council said? 

I tried to collect myself, gripping the book tighter, flipping the pages, but it was pointless. Thoughts of the conversation, of what was to come, pulled me back relentlessly. I couldn’t focus on the book—not anymore. Then I heard footsteps behind me and reflexively turned around. Jasper’s presence filled the room, and without a word, our eyes met. I searched his gaze for answers, trying to discern something, but there was nothing tangible—just an undefined tension in the air. 

“And?” I finally asked, my voice trembling slightly, though I tried to suppress it. “What did they say?” 

Jasper sat calmly in the chair opposite me. His gaze was pensive, almost heavy. “It went... better than expected,” he said at last, his words slow, as if he were weighing them. “The council scrutinized my intentions. They wanted to know if I was telling the truth, if I was truly prepared for what I’m pursuing. I held nothing back, Seraphina. I told them what I want. And that was enough. They trusted me.” 

I nodded mechanically, trying to process the information. It seemed like exactly what we had hoped for, but something about him seemed troubled. A strange unease stirred within me, a feeling I couldn’t quite place. It was as though a crucial piece was missing, as if there were more he hadn’t said yet. And then, out of nowhere, came the words that completely unmoored me. 

“There’s something else I need to tell you,” he continued, his voice quieter and more intense. “I made another request to the council. Something that means a great deal to me.” 

My heart skipped a beat. I could feel the air grow thicker, the room around us seemed to contract. What had he done? What had he said? 

“I asked for permission for you to be turned as well,” he finally said, and the words hit me like a bolt of lightning. “I can’t imagine a life without you, Phina. I need you. And the council… they agreed. But only if you agree too.” 

For a moment, I couldn’t form a coherent thought. The silence that followed his words was oppressive. I just stared at him, unable to respond. My heart pounded heavily, and my thoughts swirled chaotically. A vampire? What would that mean for me? Was I to live a life that would last forever, in a world that drifted farther from everything I had ever known? The idea of never truly being free suddenly felt so real. 

“You... you told the council about this?” My voice was barely more than a whisper, and I couldn’t stop the trembling within it. 

Jasper nodded calmly, but I could see the tension in his posture. “Yes. I wanted you to have the choice. You shouldn’t have to live without this decision. But it’s your choice, Seraphina. I didn’t want to force anything on you. You must decide if the life of a vampire is something you want too. I wanted you by my side, but only if you want it. Only if you’re ready.” 

I could hardly breathe. His words tore through me. I wanted to be with him—of that, I was certain. But what would this mean for me? A life without end, without the possibility of turning back. The thought of leaving behind everything human suddenly felt both alluring and terrifying. At the same time, the idea of living without him felt unbearable. 

“I… I don’t know,” I finally whispered, more to myself than to him. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” 

Jasper nodded slowly, his eyes soft yet infinitely patient. “There’s no rush, Darlin'. Take your time. I’ll wait, no matter what you decide.” 

The silence that followed was almost unbearable. My thoughts kept swirling, each decision seeming to open a new world, each possibility another step into an unknown future. And as I sat there, feeling the weight of the decision on my shoulders, I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. 

POV Jasper

It felt as if the room grew heavier with every passing second. When I entered the room, I saw Seraphina sitting on the couch, a book in her hands, but her eyes were distant—she wasn’t really reading. Her thoughts were elsewhere; I knew it instantly. I could feel the tension emanating from her. She wanted to know what the council had said, wanted answers, and I knew the truth wouldn’t be easy for her to hear. 

I sat in the chair across from her and took a moment to find the right words. Sharing this decision with her felt strange. In my head, I’d thought it all through, prepared myself to ask her, but now that the moment had come, it felt different. I could see the uncertainty in her eyes, and it hit me harder than I had anticipated. 

“It went… better than expected,” I finally said, when the silence threatened to overwhelm me. I knew she was hanging on every word, that she would pick up on even the smallest nuance and turn it into something greater. “The council scrutinized my intentions. They wanted to know if I was telling the truth, if I was truly ready for what I’m pursuing. I held nothing back, Seraphina. I told them what I want. And that was enough. They trusted me.” 

I could see the wave of relief wash over her, and yet I knew she sensed there was more to say. Her unease was almost palpable. Then came the moment when I had to share the most important thing—the thing I hadn’t yet told her. 

“There’s something else I need to tell you,” I continued, my voice quieter. Her eyes flashed, and I knew she was completely focused on me now. “I made another request to the council. Something that means a great deal to me.” 

I could feel her tension, her restlessness, manifesting in the air between us. And when I finally spoke the words, I knew there was no turning back. 

“I asked for permission for you to be turned as well,” I said, and I felt the atmosphere in the room shift. “I can’t imagine a life without you, Seraphina. I need you. And the council… they agreed. But only if you agree too.” 

The silence that followed my words was almost suffocating. I watched her, waiting for a reaction, but she seemed frozen, her eyes wide as though she’d just taken a blow. I couldn’t know what was going through her mind, but I could see the storm of thoughts swirling in her head. I knew this was a monumental decision. The change I had offered her wasn’t simple—it came with consequences. 

“You… you told the council about this?” Her voice was barely a whisper, and I felt the tremor within it. It nearly broke my heart to see her so shaken. 

“Yes,” I replied, trying to stay calm. “I wanted you to have the choice. You shouldn’t have to live without this decision. But it’s your choice, Seraphina. I didn’t want to force anything on you. You must decide if the life of a vampire is something you want too. I wanted you by my side, but only if you want it. Only if you’re ready.” 

I could see the exhaustion in her eyes, the inability to form a clear thought. I knew she was weighing everything—what she might lose and what she might gain. The thought of living as a vampire was unimaginable to her—and yet, I felt she also sensed how irresistible the thought of staying with me forever could be. 

“I… don’t know,” she finally whispered, and I felt a knot form in my stomach. Her uncertainty, her fear—they were so tangible. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” 

I nodded slowly, trying to hide my own fears. There was no need to rush. I knew she needed time to think, to weigh her decision. But it hurt to see her like this—caught between worlds, unsure of which path was right for her. 

“There’s no rush, Darlin'. Take your time. I’ll wait, no matter what you decide,” I said softly, my voice filled with the endless patience I felt for her. 

The silence that enveloped us was oppressive. She was deep in thought, and in that silence, I felt everything was at stake. The decision she would make wouldn’t just change her life—it would change mine as well. But I knew I couldn’t pressure her. It had to be her choice, and I had to be ready to support her no matter what. 

And so, we sat there, the room filled with unspoken words, the heavy weight of the decision between us. 

POV Seraphina

I sat deep in one of the comfortable armchairs in the large, old library of the Shadowhunter headquarters. The shelves around me were filled with knowledge that had endured for centuries, and the dusty walls seemed to whisper stories that were never meant to be told. But I couldn’t focus on the books. My thoughts revolved around one thing—the conversation with Jasper and the request he had made to the council.

How was I supposed to react? How could I even begin to make a decision so far-reaching? The idea of becoming a vampire had come so suddenly and unexpectedly. I had never expected him to suggest something like this. We had never spoken about the topic of transformation before, and yet he had asked for me to be turned into one of them. I felt the weight of this decision like a boulder in my chest.

I understood why he wanted this. The bond between us was deep and strong. We were made for each other—that much was clear to me. Without a doubt, it was this that had driven him to take this step—the thought that he couldn’t live without me. In my lessons about vampires, I had learned that they couldn’t go on without their soulmate once they had found them. And the bond between Jasper and me was already far stronger than I could have ever imagined. But did that mean I should choose this life, forever at his side?

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying to imagine what it would be like. Immortality. A life without end. No transience. But what would that mean? How would everything change if I made this decision? What would it mean for me, my life, my friends, my family?

I thought of Micah and Aaron. How would they react to this decision? Micah was always calm and controlled, the one who thought everything through before acting. He wouldn’t push me, but I could imagine he wouldn’t accept it easily. Micah was the one who never spoke about such things as if these beings were something completely different, far removed from us. But maybe he had never considered that someone like me might take this step.

Aaron, on the other hand... Aaron was a completely different story. He was the impulsive one, the one who acted directly without always thinking about the consequences. I could imagine him telling me straight to my face that it wasn’t a good idea. Maybe even getting angry because he didn’t want me to take this risk. He would want to protect me at all costs, and the thought of me living forever in this world, never aging, would surely unsettle him.

The thought of living forever without aging was a burden that weighed heavily. Micah and Aaron would eventually grow old, eventually die. And I would remain. Forever. Would I live in a world that increasingly alienated me as the people I knew disappeared? What if I no longer belonged to a world that drifted further and further away from me?

I sighed deeply and opened my eyes, looking at the old bookshelves surrounding me. There was so much to consider, and yet none of the answers seemed right. But what was the right answer? Could I live forever in this new, dark world with Jasper? And what would it mean for the people I would leave behind?

I didn’t know if I would ever find an answer that felt right. But I knew that in this library, I had time. Time to think, to sort through my feelings, and maybe understand what I truly wanted.

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