Chapter 41

 I am

My hands were shaking holding the ice-cream solo pack. My knees were trembling walking to his direction. My mind were composing such words to speak on him. I couldn't just figured out how to approach him.

I slide the glass door, stepping outside of the house leading to the man, lying down into the lounger while his hands are on his head. I slowly move my feet not to make any creeking sound. When I reach his position, watching him alone. I know its kinda creepy. I let out the fear off my system and breathe in and out.

"Korg..." I called him out and expecting him to move but I think he didn't hear me. "Korgian." Pag-uulit ko pa.

Then he sudden move, I was already panicking inside but I keep myself calm and steady that won't find me such a creepy girl stalking him. He genuinely open his eyes and check whose the person calling his attention. Inalis niya ang pagkakadagan ng kamay niya ulo niya, saglit lang din naman ay umayos siya ng kanyang pagkakaupo. He look into my eyes but shifted right away.

"Ice-cream? Pampalamig ng ulo?" I joked. Napangisi naman siya sa sinabi ko.

"I guess, I need that." Inabot ko sa kanya ang ice-cream at spoon. Pinanood ko naman siyang buksan iyon at kumain. He's really into it at nakakatuwa lang dahil tinanggap niya iyon. "I thought you were heading out?" he asked with a furrowed eyebrow.

"I was but I think... I need to talk with you."

"On what?" he asked and continue scooping onto the ice-cream. When he notice I was just standing right beside him, he offer the space on the lounger and I sit right next to him. "What are we gonna talk about?"

Napakibit-balikat naman ako sa sinabi niya. Gell told me to speak with him, anything random basta makapag-usap lang kaming dalawa. This is my time to clear out some things on him pero ngayon pa ako tumitiklop. Muli naman niya akong nilingon, he offer his ice-cream on the spoon he used pero tumanggi naman ako sa kanya. He just laughed to the thought of it. It would be an indirect kiss—I just didn't grab the chance. Hindi naman ako gano'n kadesperada. Or he was just testing me.

Hindi ako marupok Korg. Slight lang naman.

"Are we okay, Korg?" I asked, hoping to get an answer from him.

He look straight into my eyes, I couldn't read it but he was trying to say something. "Are we?" pag-uulit nito sa tanong pero tumawa naman ito kaya nagtaka ako. "No, no, we're good. Bakit mo naman natanong 'yan?"

"I just need to know," aniko. "'Cause I have been noticing these past few weeks, you don't treat me the same way as before. I know you have your life. You got your life but I know somethings is wrong and I wanna know what it is... am I part of it?"

Natigilan siya sa pagkain niya ng ice-cream, that cookies and cream flavour stopped him by those questions. Ibinalik niya ang takip ng garapon at isinantabi iyon. Magsasalita pa sana akong matutunaw lang iyon kung hahayaan niya pero nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. It is like I was trapped by his actions, couldn't escape the fact that I'm also wanting his answers.

"There's something you have to know, Alex—"

I interrupted his sentence because I know what he's gonna say. "I already know that, you like me..."

His eyes narrowed, "where did you get that?"

Biglang umurong ang kalamnan ko nang itanong niya iyon sa akin. Napakalaking tanga ko rin kung bakit hinayaan ko ang sarili kong magpadalos-dalos na lumabas iyon sa bibig ko. He shouldn't know that from me. Nakakapanghina.

"Gell told me... I know she was joking, 'wag mo na lang pansinin—"

But on the other hand, he says something that stopped me from listening into any other things in my head. "It was true though...."

"Don't joke on me, Korg..." My voice were shaking, aasa talaga ako Korg kung seryoso ka man sa mga sinasabi mo. Hindi ako marupok but this time, you can break me.

He smirk, "You ask for it, and Gell couldn't shut her mouth up."

"Gell was bothered by what's happening on you and why do you keep avoiding me, that's why she had to do it. Hindi ako naniniwala sa umpisa dahil imposibleng pakinggan iyon. I know a person like you wouldn't look the same way I did—"

"But you heard it from me, Alex."

"I know..." I bit my lower lip, agad ko ring tinapos iyon dahil iba ang pinapahiwatig no'n. "But Korg, if that was all true and you're proving it... why all of sudden you chose to distance yourself from me?"

"I don't know..."

"Gell told me, you did that because you think it is wrong."

"I don't think it is wrong," he defended himself. "Gell took it the wrong way. It is just that, if I keep getting closer to you, we could end up like I have with Mia..."

"But you still chose to run on her that night."

"What are you talking to?"

"The victory night, remember?" I said, but he just keep thinking of it. "Alam kong alam mong nakita mo kami ni Alec magkausap that night—but that wasn't the start. On your game, I've noticed you were distracted by the time I raised my poster screaming Alec's name. I knew from that moment, something is wrong. You lost your focus and you were angry toward Alec."

"How do you say that?" he asked.

"You cause a trouble with him. Sino bang makikipag-basag ulo sa mismong ka-team mo sa mismong game niyo? Why would you do that to Alec? May ginawa ba siya sayo na kinagalit mo talaga? I think he's a nice person... anong mali doon?"

"He likes you." He murmured.

Gusto kong lumagapak sa sobrang tawa nang sabihin niya iyon but I keep the situation still.

"And what's wrong with that?"

"He shouldn't like you."

"Wala namang batas na pinagbabawal siyang gawin iyon diba? Do you know someone imposes that kind of law?"

He nodded, determined he has one to say, "yes."

"Sino?" I'm still trying to keep my laughed.

"I am."

I gasped out of surprise, I blink my eyes. "You're joking again right?"

"Do I look like joking, Alex?" he firmly said, clenching his jaw makes me nervous that I ended up shaking my head. "Why would I joked my feelings up?" he mumbled.

"Maybe... it is easier to tell it that way."

"Maybe," he agreed. "but that should be me, Alex."

Napataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya, pinipilit kumalma habang nagpapalpitate na ang dibdib ko. "A-anong ibig mong sabihin doon?"

He look into me, right straight into my eyes. Gusto ko sanang umiwas sa mga tingin niya but he reach out for my hand and I couldn't do anything. "This is funny," he said it and let out a laughed.

Natanga ako sa ginawa niya. Halo-halo ang expression na lumabas sa akin. I wasn't expecting him to do that. Hindi ko inaasahan na idadala niya sa ganoong way ang seryosong pag-uusap namin. I don't understand why.

"What's funny here, Korg?" I asked him confused.

"Funny how I still try to avoid my feelings on you."

"Korg... don't made that up again."

He sighed, "I'm hoping I did made that up..." he shook his head, "but no..."

"Then help me to lighten up, Korg. Hindi ko na alam kung anong papaniwalaan ko."

"I like you, Alex. That's why." He confessed. "And I ain't joking."

"T-thank you?" I said and he smirked, shaking his head. I took a deep breath, "and how I feel you're hurting me in the way you're avoiding me, Korg? Cause liking me is a mistake of yours? Tama ako diba?"

He comes in silence. Nababaliw na ako, gusto ko na marinig ang mga sagot but please, oh lord, help me.

"Korg... if you keep doing this, you're gonna end up hurting and losing me."

"I don't want that to happen."

"Then talk to me!" I exclaimed, "I don't wanna be in the dark anymore..." my voice almost lost. "Was this Mia again and again? Hindi ka pa rin ba nakakamove-on sa kanya? Are you still bothered by her ghost? Siguro nga kaya ka natatakot dahil alam mong nandiyan pa si Mia."

"That's not it, Alex."

"You know what will happen if she knows it. She'll make your life miserable."

"How would that happen? Bakit mo hahayaan siyang mangyari 'yon?"

"It is her strength. To make people miserable."

"Hindi mangyayari iyon sa akin."

"How sure are you about that?"

"Cause she can't. Kahit sino pa 'yang si Mia. I wouldn't let her touch me."

"Alex..." he cleared his throat. "It is not just Mia."

"What more of it, Korg? What the other reasons restricting you to follow your heart, huh?"

"If I did not stop liking you, I'll marry you right now, Alex."

"K-Korg..." I stuttered. "You're—making me confused!" I grumbled.

He smirked, "sorry for making you like this, Alex. I just had to do it. Alam mong hindi ko kayang tiisin ang sarili ko and I wanted you as you are. Do you like me the same way?"

Halos gumaan ang pakiramdam ko nang sabihin niya iyon, "you know how many days I've been wanting to hear those words..."

"So, are we okay?"

"Are we?" pag-uulit ko sa kanya.

"Yes, we are..." he said, "but you have to understand that I don't like anyone liking you except me."

"Sana sinabi mo na noon pa diba?"

He chuckles, "sorry..."

"You're too coward to confess your feelings, 'no?"

"I wouldn't defend that myself cause that was true." He said, "but I'll suggest stay away from Mia... I'll handle her if she gets to you..."

I nodded, "one thing, Korg."

"What is it?"

"Why would run back to your ex? To Mia? When I absolutely had the idea how much you hated her pero bakit sa kanya ka pa rin tumungo no'ng gabing iyon?"

He shrugged off his shoulder, "I don't know... I'm a little bit of drunk that time and couldn't responsible for what I'm thinking. I call her and she got me nowhere. I stayed at her home until I get sober and that's it... hindi ko siya pinuntahan just because I wanted her back. I don't want her again. She manipulated me again. I don't know how to escape from her but making her out of lives while she's trying to ruin ours." Nagulat naman ako nang bigla niya akong inakbayan. "Just think of this, I won't let go of you..."

"But I wouldn't still forget how you avoided me for the past few weeks."

"Touche." He said, inalis ko naman ang kamay niya sa balikat ko. "Uuwi ka na?"

Tumango naman ako sa kanya, "yes and my parents would freak out kung gagabihin pa ako lalo."

"I can give you a ride."

Umiling ako, "hindi na."

"I insist and don't argue with me."

Tumango naman ako sa kanya at hindi na umangal. He took my hand at dali-dali naman kaming pumasok sa loob ng bahay pero bumalik din kaagad siya sa garden dahil may nakalimutan daw siya at sa pagbalik niya ay dala na niya ang tunaw na ice-cream. Nasayangan siya at mabilis niyang idinala iyon sa ref.

Gell saw us before leaving the house.

"Where are you going, kuya?!" mataray na pagtatanong sa kanya ni Gell.

"I'll drive Alex home." Sagot nito sa kanyang kapatid.

Ilang saglit lang din ay dumating ang kanyang parents and was also amazed how things turns out. Nagpaalam na rin naman ako sa kanila and was thankful enough para isama nila ako sa dinner. They were still sorry for whats happening earlier and I could see Korg trying to fix that on his parents. I'm giggling how Gell talked with me through her brows and smiles. I know what she means and she's happy that I went with her plan.

I bid goodbye to the Sawyers and walked together with Korg at his car. Inalalayan niya akong makapasok sa loob, ingat na ingat naman akong hindi mahulog sa kamay ko ang pineapple pie. On the whole time, hindi ko maitago ang nararamdaman ko. Nakangiti lang ako at gano'n din naman si Korg.

When we reach our house, he caught my hand and kiss on it.

"Soon, there will be a diamond in this hands," pagmamayabang pa nito. "But for now, just a kiss would do."

Pinalo ko naman siya sa balikat niya, "baliw ka but thank you for the ride and for being open to me..." lumapit ako ng bahagya sa kanya at hinalikan siya sa labi. Hindi ko na hinintay pang makapagsalita siya at lumabas na ako ng sasakyan. I waved at her and watched him drive away.

Nang ibaling ko ang sarili ko sa bahay, nagulat ako ng madatnan ko ang magulang ko doon. Dali-dali naman akong lumapit sa kanila.

"He's back..." my father mumbled, "my son-in-law is back."

"Dad!" I grunted but he just laughed.

Pumasok naman kami sa loob ng bahay and gave them the pineapple pie Sawyer's made for them. They were happy that I am happy. Hindi sa lahat perpekto ang mga pangyayari, minsan sa hindi mo inaasahang pagkakataon... doon magbabago ang lahat.