Chapter 39

Ditch

Looking right in front of the mirror, seeing yourself as it is. Wala namang problema sayo, I think you're doing good and that's fine. But how some people don't appreciate the way you are? Bakit kailangan mo pang ipakita sa kanila na iba ka sa inaasahan nila? I don't usually think of this dahil hindi ko naman dapat isipin ang mga bagay na iyon but on a sudden moment, baka nga may mali silang nakikita sa akin at hindi ko lang napapansin.

Humugot ako ng malalim ng hininga at inilabas ang ngiti sa labi. It wouldn't be good if I keep thinking about those things. About what they say doesn't matter, if you know what you're even through the worst of their words.

Patungo na ako palabas nang pinto, restroom ng girls, nang biglang may pumasok na babae. Natigilan ako panandilan nang magtama ang mga mata namin, mabilis ko ring iniwas iyon dahil ayokong magkaroon ng awkward atmosphere sa loob nito. I reach for the door but she called me, I stopped for a moment and draw myself from hating to see her but that doesn't matter and turn around to see her.

She's crossing her arms with her brow raised.

"So, I've heard you joined the Decathlon team—where people think they're smart even if they don't." she quoted.

"How could you say that," I snarled, "do you hear what you were saying?"

She chuckles, roll her eyes while twirling her forefinger at the end of her hair. "I know what I'm saying and I disgust they absorb such a pity person like you."

I hold myself from anger, I'm resisting the fact that she's triggering my inner peace of behaviour but I wouldn't let her demon let my demon out. Her was enough to put me in hell. I slowly inhale and exhale to ease out my emotion and look at her without wanting to crash her on the ground.

"Mia, if you don't have nice thing to say, pwedeng manahimik ka na lang din? And you are lucky that Ma'am Salve chose you to stay in the club because you are some sort of—a what, a celebrity? I had to leave because you are priority and the one's leaving are some people who are a big lost to them. Think of it." I smiled, showing to her that she won't break with her words. "Later, Mia."

I felt like I won a prestigious award when I confidently said those words on her, lumabas akong nakangisi at walang pangamba. She deserves to know the truth and she has to fix her attitude, kung patuloy niyang ipaiiral ang sobrang kademonyohan ng ugali niya. People will hate her—actually, people do, they don't just know how to express it. Impyerno kasi ang dalawa ni Mia.

Walking down the hallway, I got a message from Mebby. Hindi matutuloy ang training ko for the team, and if was okay with it tomorrow, it should be fine. Mabilis ko naman agad na sinagot ang message niya. And then she immediately replied that we'll see each other tomorrow, may kailangan lang daw siyang asikasuhin and its not part of the Decathlon team kaya pumayag na rin naman ako. She has her life, duh.

I stopped at the vending to buy a bottle of water. Habang hinuhulog ko ang mga barya ko sa coin slot, naalala ko naman ang bigla si Korg dahil ang ibang coins ko ay hindi tinatanggap. That moment, nakausap ko siya. I even helped him at akala ko hindi niya ako papansinin that time pero nakakatuwa lang dahil hinayaan niya akong tulungan ko siya.

"Let me help you, Alex." And then someone popped right in front of me, and the same scenario flashes back in my head. Iyon nga lang, hindi ang ginger ang kaharap ko ngayon. He pressed the button for the bottled water and pick it up right after, inabot naman niya sa akin iyon. "Here, good thing I saw you struggling over a piece of coins."

"Obvious ba?" ngiwi ko pa sa kanya, "you don't have to do that, Alec."

He chuckles, "no worries, Alex. Alam mo naman malakas ka sa akin eh." Hindi ko alam kung anong ire-react ko sa kanya, it is just that I'm still wondering how he sees me. "Anyway, saan ka na ngayon? May pupuntahan ka ba, I know a place you would love to!" pang-eenganyo pa nito sa akin.

I nodded on him, "thank you Alec but I don't think not this time." Aniko, sabay na pagkunot ng noo niya. I hope he wasn't thinking that he was rejected the second time around. "Ano kasi—"

"No, that's okay, you don't have to tell it to me. Alam ko naman kasing busy ka rin talaga..." and there was the little disappointment in his tone.

"I'm going to have a dinner with the Sawyer's."

His surprise plastered on his face, "oh, I didn't know you'll be having dinner with them... but that's good. When will this happen?" I couldn't distinguish him, pakiramdam ko may iba siyang gustong sabihin but restricting himself to say anything.

"Tonight," I said. "Actually, Korg call me last night to tell about the dinner and that's it."

"Did he tell why?" he asked.

I shook my head, there's no apparent reason he told. "Wala siyang binanggit, ang basta lamang sinabi niya ay in-invite ako ng parents niya to be hold a dinner with them. Matanong ko lang, anong feeling kapag kasama ang mga Sawyer? I know you got a chance to meet them, you're Korg's friend, there might be one time you did, tama ba ako?"

He nodded, agreeing on me. "Well, specifically, dalawang beses ko pa lang formally na-meet ang parents ni Gi and that was he invited the team on their house and the second time was the game. And you don't have to worry about them, they are casual but you don't need to be one. Hindi sila maarte gaya ng iba. You'll be comfortable to sit with them, I can say that..."

"Oh my gosh, parang lalo mo naman akong pinakaba, Alec?!"

Natawa naman siya, "you don't have to be nervous, diba? Saka i-enjoy mo lang ang dinner na iyon." Aniya, he patted my shoulder after. "Mauuna na pala ako sayo, may dadaanan muna ako."

Tumango ako sa kanya at tinalikuran naman niya ako pero agad ko naman siyang tinawag at muli niya akong nilingon, "are we good, Alec?" that came out of nowhere, hindi ko alam kung bakit nakuha kong itanong iyon sa kanya.

His forehead creased, confused of what I'm talking about. "Yeah, we are. Bakit mo naman natanong 'yan?"

Mabilis ko naman siyang binawian ng ngiti, "wala, wala, nevermind. Sige, baka mahuli ka pa sa pupuntahan mo... and thanks for the spare coins."

"No problem, see you around, Alex." He wave and turn back on me and watched him walk away. I don't know why it felt like I did something on him that I didn't directly did. Ramdam ko lang and if that feeling is true, I was really afraid what he'll do after.

I stayed at the Student Lounge para magpalipas ng oras. Gell send me a message na sabay na kaming uuwi diretsyo sa kanilang bahay. My heart keeps pounding. Hindi dapat ako kabahan, at isa pa professor ko naman ang isa sa parents ni Korg pero kakaiba pa rin siguro ang feeling kapag kaharap mo na siya sa dinner table at hindi sa classroom.

Mabilis na tumakbo ang oras. Panay ang tingin sa orasan. Hindi mapigilan ang pagtingin sa mga text ni Gell. I was also preparing myself on how to introduce myself to them. Parang tanga lang kung tutuusin. They invited me for a dinner, hindi naman big deal iyon but for some people, being invited by one certain person you acknowledges his existence, sobra-sobrang big deal iyon. And anyone would do anything just to be on that position.

"Alex!" namintig ang tainga ko nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko sa matining na boses nang isang babae. Hindi ako nagkamali nang makita kong papalapit sa kinauupuan ko si Gell. Kunot noo naman ito nang lumapit sa akin, "ikaw lang mag-isa? Nasaan iyon dalawa mong kaibigan?"

"They were the drama club, may preparation sila for their play."

"And you're not?" she asked in curiosity.

I shook my head, "nope, I'm on the Decathlon team now."

"Oh, good to know that, I'm excited for you but now my father is waiting on us."

"Why?"

"Duh, the dinner, Alex." She said, "sasabay na tayo sa sasakyan ni Dad. Nakalimutan ko lang sabihin sayo kanina."

"That's okay, but how's Korg?"

"Don't mind him, kaya niya na ang sarili niya." She smirked, "tara na, my father doesn't tolerate unpunctual behaviors." She said and grabbed my arms as we lead together the exit heading to the parking lot.

Parang pinatungan pa nang ilang bloke ang dibdib ko at patuloy sa pagkabog—I know that's normal for a living one pero malalaman mo ang differentiation when you are in the situation of not knowing what's gonna happen.

When we reach the parking lot, I immediately see Mr. Sawyer whom a good view even from a far. Halos tumupi ako nang makalapit kami sa kanya. His smile are almost breaking his lips and I couldn't react but to be modest in front of him. Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay pumasok kami sa loob ng sasakyan nila. This is really an uncomfortable moment for me but Gell ease that feeling weighing on me.

I was quite the whole time, makakapagsalita lang ako kapag may itatanong sa akin si Mr. Sawyer. I could really see as of now what might happen later, ngayon pa lamang ay hindi na ako tinigilan ni Mr. Sawyer sa pagtatanong, what more pa kaya kung kaharap ko na ang buong pamilya niya?

The car stopped and so I noticed we reach our destination. Sinilip ko ang bahay nila mula sa kinauupuan ko sa loob ng sasakyan. Nakadagdag iyon sa kaba sa dibdib ko. Bakit ba hindi ako makapante at natataranta ako. Dahan-dahan din akong bumaba ng sasakyan, Gell wrapped her arms around me at sabay kaming tumuloy papunta sa bahay nila habang sinusundan papasok sa loob si Mr. Sawyer.

"Gell, help Alex to feel at home." Mr. Sawyer said.

"Of course, I will!" She squeaks, "tara na, Alex!"

Dumiretsyo naman kami sa living room at doon ako pinag-stay ni Gell. I think Mr. Sawyer find his way to the kitchen to attend his wife na abala para sa dinner. From where I am, naaamoy ko na ang hinanda nilang pagkain and my stomach were already grumbling. Inabala ko naman ang sarili ko sa paligid ng bahay nila. It wasn't that sophisticated like what I've seen on Mia's house. Mas simple ang mga kagamitan nila pero may dating and I think those cost a hundred thousands o baka hindi lang.

"Alex, I want you to see this!" nagmamadaling inabot sa akin ni Gell ang isang photo album which I found funny because it still exist into this time, "if you're gonna whose on the photos, may ibibigay ako sayo."

Natawa ako ng bahagya sa sinabi niya, "ano naman iyon?"

"Secret, but first guess who is it." Ibinuklat niya ang hawak kong photo album, at itinuro ang isang litrato doon. It was picture of a new born baby, halos kakasilang pa lang ito. Nakalambitin dahil hawak ng doctor ang paa nito, "so, who do you think it was?"

"You?" I answered with hesitations.

She chuckles, "No!" she said, "that was kuya—"

"Gell, can I talk with you for a sec." his father called her.

Hindi pa man ako nakaka-recover sa sinabi niya at gusto ko na lang ikimkim ang tuwa ko nang makita ko ang baby picture ni Korg. That little ginger. Habang busy naman ang mag-ama ay palihim akong kumuha ng litrato, hindi naman nila iyon napansin at madali ko rin namang binalik ang phone ko sa bulsa ko.

Their conversation doesn't took long and Gell came back to me. Her mood changes. Nakabusangot na ang histura niya ngayon kaya nagtaka naman ako.

"What happened, Gell?"

"My parents couldn't contact my brother, I already tried but he isn't picking it up. He couldn't ditch us on this dinner." She grumbled, "if he stays being a jerk, he gone lose his mind... that poor ginger."