Chapter 37

Potential

This were in my head last night, nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung itutuloy ko ba o hindi. Baka naman kasi sabihin nila sobra naman akong paimportante para tanggapin pa nila when in a moment na naramdaman nilang ni-reject ko sila. But I stood up with courage at kung ano man ang mangyari ay tatanggapin ko na lang din. And if it wasn't meant for me, then it is still okay. Maybe, I'm just not meant for anyone.

Dahan-dahan kong tinulak papasok sa loob ang pinto at humugot ng malalim na hininga. Nang makatapak ako sa loob ng kwarto, their eyes are all on me. Nabato ako sa kinatatayuan ko at hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko, natigilan sila lahat sa ginagawa nila at nasa akin lang ang atensyon nila. I gulped, trying not to dry my throat. Dahan-dahan kong ginalaw ang aking labi at ngumiti sa kanilang lahat.

"Hello!" Pagbati ko sa kanilang lahat.

Miss Keltz immediately attended me, bakas pa sa kanyang mukha ang pagkabigla at mukhang hindi niya talaga inaasahan na babalik ako sa kwartong ito. When was the last time I leave this room was when I told them I've got a club to go at ngayon, sila ang takbuhan ko nang itakwil ako ng sinalihan ko.

"Good to see you here again, Miss Carreon..." aniya, napalingon pa muli ito sa mga taong nasa loob din ng silid. "A-anong ginagawa mo pala dito? Do you need any help?"

Mabilis kong tinanggihan ang sinabi ni Miss Keltz, "Miss, I wasn't here for any help or requests... ahm," I bit my lower lip. I'm not so sure kung magagawa ko bang sabihin iyon sa kanila after what I've done last time.

"She's joining us, Miss Keltz." Mebby said. "Are you, Alex?"

Tumapon ang tingin ko sa kanya, even on Miss Keltz whose waiting for my response.

"I think this is a mistake, I'm sorry!" I said, and about to leave them with my bragging attitude, still in the end Miss Keltz caught my arm and stopped me. Muli akong lumingon sa kanya, she removed her hands and her foregead creased, trying to understand me... I think. "Miss Keltz, I'm sorry, I was so embarrassed to be here again after what I did last time."

"Why would you be embarrassed?"

"'Cause of what I did last time."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed, Alex." Mebby said, lumapit naman siya papunta sa akin. "Actually, for your information, we're still hoping you would join us amidst of your membership in the drama club... oh wait—you're in the drama club, right?"

Miss Keltz nodded on her, she look unto me and waited for my response again.

"Actually, wala na ako sa drama club."

Miss Keltz reaction were present, nagulat siya nang sabihin ko iyon or she wasn't expecting it at all. "How did that happen?" She asked.

"It's a long story Miss Keltz and you wouldn't like to know how it happened... and heading down here at the Decathlon Team wishing I could join the team... but it's okay if—" I was interrupted when Mebby speaks.

"You are in!" aniya. Kinuha niya ang kamay, "we wouldn't hesitate to absorb someone like you."

"Yes!" Miss Keltz cheered, "so to formally announced that you are the new member of Decathlon team!" halos hindi naman ako mapakali nang sabihin nila iyon. Nakaka-overwhelm ang feeling na may mga taong handa paring tumanggap sayo. "Welcome to the family, Miss Carreon."

"Miss, just call me Alex and that is fine," I said and I didn't know but I just hugged her, the students around us even picked on me because of being too sweet and clingy. Hindi ko rin naman masisisi ang sarili ko dahil may isang pamilya ang tumanggap sa akin. "Thank you... I know you have been waiting for my approval for a very long time but here I am now..."

I lose my hug on her dahil pakiramdam ko na-a-awkward-an na siya sa akin but it seems fine on her. Tinawanan niya lang din naman ako.

"Thanks for choosing us when you were left alone." She smiled, "but as per your adviser, you should follow all my instructions as our competition will come very soon. Are you ready to start now?"

Tumango naman ako sa kanya, "I'm very much eager to learn, Miss Keltz."

"We're hoping you could bring back the champion on Savvy, Alex."

I just showed my smile on her.

The other member of the Academic Decathlon greeted me and I absolutely introduce myself into them again. Nakakataba ng puso na bawat isa ay tinanggap ako ng walang hatred o jealousy na umusbong. They really wanted to know me and have me on their family. Nakakatuwa lang na may mga taong yayakapin ka, tatanggapin ka sa kahit anong rason man hindi iyong maraming issue sa sarili na pinapasa sa ibang tao. I don't pertain into someone but I think kailangan talaga niyang ayusin ang ugali niya.

Mebby told to seat beside her, as a newbie may mga training pa muna akong kailangan gawin bago makasali sa group discussion, brainstorming or quiz. Hindi naman daw katulad ng sa drama club na kailangan kong maghanda para makakuha ng role, I just needed to prepare myself, my mind and focus para makasabay sa kanilang lahat.

They were also craving for a championship this time and they were hoping, I could give that to them. But as a newbie, I can't promise.

I raise my hand when Miss Keltz were asking for some questions but of course being the new one, marami akong tanong and one of it is, "Miss, how does the Savvy Decathlon team never win the competition?"

Miss Keltz nodded, "good question Alex, and to answer your question, Savvy team have been placed 5th, 8th or 4th but never been on the top three or a champion. That's why on this year, kailangan talaga nating makapasok sa top three, not to brag this pero makikita nilang magagaling ang mga taga Savvy. When in fact we really are sadyang nauungusan lang talaga when it comes to the Arithmetic part."

"Are you good with that, Alex?" Siko at bulong ni Mebby sa akin.

Umiling naman ako sa kanya, "hindi gaano. Remember, I was homeschooled? Hindi masyadong broad ang topic namin but when we do, sobrang lalim kapag pinaintindi ito sa akin kaya I think, I have the edge but not mostly."

Tumango naman si Mebby, "you have the potential, Alex... I can see that."

"Talaga?" hindi ko makapaniwalang tugon.

"Oo naman," she keeps nodding to show her sincerity. "Parang hindi ka naman naniniwala? Trust issues lang?"

Napangiwi naman ako sa sinabi niya at umiling, "hindi naman... I thought, I don't wear any potentials at all."

She raised her brow, "who would even dare to say that? Everyone has a potential, iba-ibang bagay nga lang at hindi lang naman nasusukat ang potential mo sa isang bagay. Kung sino man ang nagsabi sayo niyan, ang kitid nang utak niya. That person should be educated."

"Though Ma'am Salve said those words." I wince, nanlaki naman ang mata niya.

"Oh," she gulped, "joke-joke lang 'yong sinabi ko ah!"

Natawa naman ako sa kanya, "don't worry, hindi naman makakarating iyon sa kanya. She doesn't see my potential, doon siya kay Lathomia niya."

"Lathomia..." pag-uulit niya, "minsan may mga tao kasing handa tayong ibaba kahit na wala tayong ginagawa kaya sa huli, bumabalik lahat sa kanila. Karma ang nababagay sa kanila."

"But I think they're happy without me and that's okay for me, masaya na rin naman ako dito ngayon and I found a new family!" aniko at nagulat ako ng bigla niya ang yakapin, "stop Meb!" pagsuway ko sa kanya.

Natatawa naman siyang umalis sa pagkakayakap sa kanya, "I'm just happy you chose us, and it is really were you belong..."

I mouthed thank you on her kasi kulang na lang ay umiyak ako ng isang balde. I couldn't express how I feel that this club accept me.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay natapos na ang club hours. Bukas pa magsisimula ang training ko with Miss Keltz at ihihiwalay muna ako ng group—of course on the same room pa rin naman, iba nga lang ang gagawin ko sa kanila. Isa-isa naman nagpaalam ang lahat and every were thankful that I got to be at the Decathlon team. Nahihiya na ako sa bawat isa sa kanila dahil parang ang paimportante naman ng dating ko sa kanila.

"Sumabay ka na sa bus namin, Alex." Ani Mebby.

Napakunot-noo naman ako, "huh, hindi na siguro, iba ang way niyo."

Umiling naman si Mebby, "no, ang mga decathlon teams lang din naman ang makakasama natin and from now on this day, sa bus ka na namin sasabay tuwing uwian ha? Sa uwian lang naman."

"Sure... sabi mo eh." Ngiwi ko pa.

We headed straight to the bus where Mebby talking about. Hinatak naman ako ni Mebby sa upuan sa likod lamang ng driver. Pumwesto ako sa tabi ng bintana habang hinihintay naman ang lahat na makapasok sa loob ng bus at makarating sa mga upuan nila. While were waiting, I saw a group of people who just came out of the main building. Nang usisain ko kung sino ang mga iyon, nalungkot naman ako bigla nang makita ko ang mga kaibigan ko na nakikipagtawanan kasama ni Mia.

I can totally admit that I am jealous dahil hindi ko sila nakakasama sa mga ganitong time but I know they wouldn't forget me—I mean, hindi nila ako iiwasan just because I belong now into another club. Oo nga pala, wala silang alam tungkol doon. I totally kept it myself, sa pagdadalawang isip ko, hindi ko rin sinabi sa kanila ang pagbabalak kong pumasok sa Decathlon team. They really know how I wanted to be in this club and I don't know how will they react kapag nalaman nila iyon.

When Mia separated from the two at tumungo sa kanyang sasakyan, both Bella and Pee shooter headed the same school bus. Mabilis akong nagpadausdos sa kinauupuan ko at tinakluban ng panyo ang aking mukha. Mebby notices my action kaya naman lubos ang pagtataka niya. She look outside to see whom I'm hiding at napatango na lamang ito nang makita niya ang dalawa kong kaibigan.

For few minutes, I was hiding until, "they were gone, Alex. You can now sit properly."

"Sorry..."

"What are you doing, Alex? Hiding from you friends?" she asked.

Napabuntunghininga naman ako, "is that what it looks like?"

She nodded, "obvious na obvious, do they know?" she questioned and I shook my head for an answer, and she nodded as she guess it right. "Okay, okay... why?"

"They might think na pinagpapalit ko sila—I mean, wala silang alam na sasali ako sa Decathlon team and now it happened, hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin nila sa akin. I'm afraid that they wouldn't talk to me after."

Napangisi naman si Mebby, "is that what you think, Alex?" dahan-dahan naman akong tumango sa kanya, "then you're also having a doubt of your friendship with them." Napakunot-noo naman ako sa sinabi niya. "Think of this, bakit naman sila magagalit o hindi ka kakausapin just because you end up joining the other club? Sino ba ang unang nagtaboy sayo? Sino ba ang tumanggap sayo? Wala namang mali sa ginagawa mo, it is just that... if you can't tell them what's in your head... then you're having a trust issue. Nakukuha mo ba ako, Alex?"

I nodded on her, "pwede ka na atang lumaban sa competition." Pambibiro ko pa, natawa naman siya ng bahagya... pero hindi lahat ng seryosong usapan nababali ng biro. "On the serious note, thank you for clearing out on me, I'll tell them pagkauwi ko."

"On the phone?" she asked, raising her brow.

"Yes? Do you think, it is not okay to do that?"

She shrugged off her shoulder, "okay naman but it will be good kung personal kayong mag-uusap diba. As in, nagkakaintindihan kayo at walang tinatagong emosyon. On phone, you can just simply type hahaha without even laughing, right?"

"I think you're a good advicer, Mebby."

Tinulak naman niya ako sa braso, "baliw, dapat ganyan lang tayo mag-isip."

"I agree..." ngiti ko sa kanya but inside my head are more complicated things.

Nang masiguradong nasa loob na lahat ng estudyante ay umalis na rin ang school bus. On the road, nililibang ko lang anga sarili kong huwag mahulog sa mga iniisip ko. Ayokong hanggat sa pag-uwi ko ay dinadala ko ang mga usaping iyon, I have to meet with them.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at mabilis na binuksan ang aming groupchat.

BlondePhilippinesTwilight GC

Me:

Guys! Can we meet later? Sagot ko na usapan bahala na kayo sa pagkain at drinks hehe.

8pm at the Sassy Café.